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✻ Article of the Now ✻

Easter

Easter, also known as Spring Halloween, Zombie Jesus Day, Christmas For Fat People or Bunny Furry Day is a favorite holiday of women because it usually entails "HAWT" guys with zero body and painted on abs running around in loin cloths while others know it as the day when we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. In lieu of a macabre theme, Easter is an upbeat celebration of the crucifixion of His Royal Highness Jesus H. Christ, King o' the Jews. It also celebrates the irony of a carpenter being nailed to a piece of wood. Although the crucifixion precipitated his eternal death, he was revered by early Christians for having been nailed by like two hawt soulja boy guidos at once.

To the non-Christian fanatic, Easter, like Christmas, is just merely another day off from work or school to be used as an excuse to get drunk all day and eat as much candy as possible. It can be a nightmare for television-lovers though, as nothing worthwhile is being shown on TV as every other channel has freaky old men in robes who babble about the Great Jebus and read boring hymns from books. Not to mention the stupid parades and the countless Lifetime and Hallmark channels that show hours of shitty Easter movies. Turn off your TV and watch p0rn online instead.

(( The Second Coming Of The Easter Bunny Is Soon Upon Us ))


What have I missed?	Jews 2 days ago	I did it for the lulz 4 days ago	Animator320 6 days ago

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✻ Quote of the Now ✻

	“	. . . an absurd problem came to the surface: 'How COULD God permit that (crucifixion of Jesus Christ)!' . . . the deranged reason of the little community found quite a frightfully absurd answer: God gave his Son for forgiveness, as a SACRIFICE . . . The SACRIFICE FOR GUILT, and just in its most repugnant and barbarous form - the sacrifice of the innocent for the sins of the guilty! What horrifying heathenism!	„
	—Friedrich Nietzsche

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Did You Know...

From Encyclopædia Dramatica's endless supply of factoids:

...that Chuck Norris died? Get ready for a resurgance of Chuck Norris facts like how he's not really dead and is just taking a long nap.
...that it's St. Patrick's Day and 40% of the drunk driving deaths on this day will happen between midnight and 2:59 am?
...that some loser with too much money and not enough brains actually paid $14.6 million for a 1969 Fender Stratocaster that was played by Pink Floyd's David Gilmour?
...that The Seahawks Beat The Patriots 29-13 at this year's Superbowl? We're always happy to see The Patriots lose
... that boomer lawmakers are trying to ruin the internet with KOSA and other "bad internet bills" in the USA? You should tell them what you think, at badinternetbills.com!
... that another Valentine's Day has come and gone and you're still all alone? Are those voices in your head starting to become more persuasive?
... that Chuck E. Cheese (CEC Entertainment) CEO and President David McKillips resigned- most likely because his name was in the Epstein Files?
... that an AI animation named Amelia has become the waifu of every far-right user of the Internets? Sorry about the breakup, K-On! girls!

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