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Diablo II: Difference between revisions
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===[[Necrophilia|Necromancer]]=== | ===[[Necrophilia|Necromancer]]=== | ||
If you thought that the Paladin was over powered, think again. The Negro-mancer doesn't even have to fucking fight. His skeletons and shit do it for him. By level 15, your necromancer can summon five skeleton warriors with insane damage, a skeleton mage that can hyper-rape you in an instant, and an iron golem with 750 HP all at the same time. And if that wasn't enough, he can blow up corpses right next to you without touching them(ensuring a cheap death that you will BAWWWW over for an hour.) | If you thought that the Paladin was over powered, think again. The Negro-mancer doesn't even have to fucking fight. His skeletons and shit do it for him. By level 15, your necromancer can summon five skeleton warriors with insane damage, a skeleton mage that can hyper-rape you in an instant, and an iron golem with 750 HP all at the same time. And if that wasn't enough, he can blow up corpses right next to you without touching them (ensuring a cheap death that you will [[Incontinent Student Bodies| BAWWWW]] over for an hour.) | ||
===[[Tranny|Amazon]][[amazon|.com]]=== | ===[[Tranny|Amazon]][[amazon|.com]]=== | ||
Revision as of 06:43, 6 January 2012
The sequel to Diablo. It exists solely to give people a reason to spend years of their lives clicking their left mouse button. Diablo II players, much like World of Warcraft nerds, waste the best years of their lives online, talking about useless garbage and often subscribing to many forums. One major difference between Diablo II nerds and WoW nerds is Diablo II nerds aren't stupid enough to pay $15 a month for a shitty game.
Player Characters
There are several characters you can play as in what experienced players would call D2. For new players, here are the summaries of the types of characters to help make the game moar fun!
Necromancer
If you thought that the Paladin was over powered, think again. The Negro-mancer doesn't even have to fucking fight. His skeletons and shit do it for him. By level 15, your necromancer can summon five skeleton warriors with insane damage, a skeleton mage that can hyper-rape you in an instant, and an iron golem with 750 HP all at the same time. And if that wasn't enough, he can blow up corpses right next to you without touching them (ensuring a cheap death that you will BAWWWW over for an hour.)
Amazon.com
This female character is ideally a ranged combatant, using bows and javelins. Is more buff than you'll ever be and has an even bigger dick, and as such, is frequently masturbated to by basement dwellers, weeaboos and gooks.
Paladin
The obligatory African American Christian added by game developers to give players the option of +1 to stealing bicycles. Just like real African Americans, the Paladin adorns himself with large flashy crosses, excels at killing others and stealing your gold.
Assassin
Some Jewish-looking cunt who bought some BDSM gear and goes around raping babies and acting like a ninja. Being the only actual adult female character, most of her skills are bound to making sandwiches and giving Blow-Jays.
Druid
Similar to the Necromancer, in that he lives in his mom's basement. What separates is fur affinity, and yiffing
Sorceress
A 16 year old girl who used her magical powers to pwn stuff. Is a completely shit character, as everything is immune to her spells and is of no use except for sex. Nobody plays the sorceress, not even Jew
Barbarian
A fat, American football player. Most new players pick this character because they assume he is the most powerful, but in reality the game sucks and they need to go outside.
Multiplayer Gameplay
Everyone plays online, if you don't you are obviously poor and black. The main advantage to playing online is the ability to trade items with other players. Below is a typical conversation between two D2-ers wishing to engage each other in a trade:
Player #1: wug Player #2: wuw Player #1: wug Player #2: wuw Player #1: wug Player #2: wuw Player #1: wug Player #2: wuw Player #1: wug Player #2: wuw Player #1: One does not simply smoke crack into Mordor...
This usually goes on for over 9000 hours until the players' moms call them to dinner.
Pvm Noobs
The pvm players are mostly those who are playing on "ladder" and who are "mfing" (short for Magic-Finding, The action of searching for items by wasting hours and hours, killing the same bosses again and again) and playing "PvM" (Player vs Monster).
Scams
UP-FUCKING-DATE!!!: A recent Harvard study shows that 97% of the people who play Diablo II are just trying to rape you.
They can ruin weeks, months, even years worth of work for their own personal gain. They go chop yo Diablo II dollar. If they get you, you fall mugu and go on Baal runs for the master are a fucktard. BELIEVE IT!
TL;DR: FUCKING AZNs.
Nazis
The Diablo Nazis are those hardcore players who've wasted 2-3 years or more on that moronic Hitler Chinkey Jew game and still play it because they think it's better than sex. They keep calling people "randoms" when they simply suggested to go on yet another Baal run, and waste more hours on the Diablo II related forums than on the game itself.
Juggalos
There are a lot of juggalos on Diablo at any given time.
How to piss off Juggalos:
- Make a game called "juggalos" or something close
- As soon as they join, hostile them
- No matter what level they are, they will attempt to "represent, fool"
- Lulz ensue, see picture
- ????
- PROFIT
Open B.net
In the depths of Battle.net, is a mode called Open Battle.net, which allows you to use your single player character that is not saved in the Battle.net client. What this allows, is for players to open their character file with Hax0rs and make their toon WTFPWN everything within a radius of your toon. Some editors will allow you to add items and runes that remain constantly active, and even add spells that were not there before. The best part, is people actually complain when you go onto open b.net with a modded character.
Things to do in Open B.net:
- Walk around with aura runes, setting all to hostile and commiting rape whilst standing in one place.
- Set your characters level with as many 9's as possible, this will make you stronger.
- Tell others that your hacking b.net when they ask about your character.
- Follow others that are actually trying to play DII in a open b.net game ( Wtf.. ).
BattleNet!
-
Gays are normally discriminated against in Diablo II. -
-
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Homosexuality is not natural according to Diablo II players. -
The reason for said discrimination is the fact that all gays go to hell. -
The only good thing about Diablo II is the spam prevention.
Things to do in Diablo II
- Get to Hell difficulty
- Hold down alt
- Grind for Runes
- Grind for Runes
- Grind for Runes
- Grind for Runes
- Grind for Runes
- Grind for Runes
- PvP
How To Succeed In Diablo II
- Baal runs
- Baal runs
- Grind for Runes
- Grind for Runes
- Grind for Runes
- Grind for Runes
- Grind for Runes
- Baal runs
- Baal runs
- Baal runs
- Baal runs
Vidyas
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See also
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Diablo II is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
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Diablo II is part of a series on MMORPGs. | [Ding!] |
 Diablo II is part of a series on Web 1.0 |
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Celebs, h4x0rz, and Phreaks •
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