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Dinosaur: Difference between revisions

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* '''Pterodactyl''' - Pterodactyl wasn't actually a real dinosaur, just some dinosaur [[groupie]] flying lizard, but it gets lumped in with them in the toy aisle nonetheless, where it cries itself to sleep at night.
* '''Pterodactyl''' - Pterodactyl wasn't actually a real dinosaur, just some dinosaur [[groupie]] flying lizard, but it gets lumped in with them in the toy aisle nonetheless, where it cries itself to sleep at night.


* '''Ankylosaurus''' - This heavily armoured, scaly lizard was no pansy-ass bearded dragon! He was so heavily armoured and well-protected that even his eye-lids were armoured! Not even a T-Rex could bite through its bullet-proof armour! And even though this dinosaur had a walnut-sized brain for its elephant-sized body, not even T-Rex would want to fuck with it [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sr4n7nnu7q8| especially that huge-ass club at the end of its tail which could snap a T-Rex's bones like match-sticks!] Too bad if this dinosaur gets flipped over, its unprotected underbelly gets exposed! Being unable to flip itself back up by itself, Ankylosaurus becomes even OH NOM NOM NOM for even a weak-sauce like Velicoraptors!  
* '''Ankylosaurus''' - This heavily armoured, scaly lizard was no pansy-ass bearded dragon! He was so heavily armoured and well-protected that even his eye-lids were armoured! Not even a T-Rex could bite through its bullet-proof armour! And even though this dinosaur had a walnut-sized brain for its elephant-sized body, not even T-Rex would want to fuck with it [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sr4n7nnu7q8| especially that huge-ass club at the end of its tail which could snap a T-Rex's bones like match-sticks!] Too bad if this dinosaur gets flipped over, its unprotected underbelly gets exposed! Being unable to flip itself back up by itself, Ankylosaurus becomes easy OH NOM NOM NOM for even weak-sauce like Velicoraptors!  


As we see, dinosaurs have a lot more Internet relevance than it would first seem, as they are involved with the two largest bases of [[fucktards]] on the [[Internet]] - [[creationists]] and [[furries]]. Also occasionally known as "Drama-saurs", any mention of dinosaurs, accurate or inaccurate, will cause a shitstorm of drama by people who spend far too much time on the internet.
As we see, dinosaurs have a lot more Internet relevance than it would first seem, as they are involved with the two largest bases of [[fucktards]] on the [[Internet]] - [[creationists]] and [[furries]]. Also occasionally known as "Drama-saurs", any mention of dinosaurs, accurate or inaccurate, will cause a shitstorm of drama by people who spend far too much time on the internet.

Revision as of 01:10, 15 October 2011

  • If you want to learn moar about dinosaurs, read a book.
  • If you want your education about dinosaurs to be destroyed, go here.
  • If you want to shock a friend, get them go to this site.
  • If you enjoy e-drama, please continue.


Dinosaurs = Wobbly
Some dinosaurs had trollfaces.
OM NOM NOM NOM
IM IN UR ENVIRONMENT OCCUPYIN UR NICHEZ.
Not quite a joke.
Today, dinosaurs are used to power our cars.

Dinosaurs were big fucking lizard-things that ruled the earth sixty five million years before the Internet that would eat the fuck out of you if you looked at them funny.

There were loads and loads of dinosaurs, but the most famous ones are as follows:

  • Tyrannosaurus Rex - sometimes just known as T. Rex, 'cause shit's more gangsta. The meanest fucking thing that ever lived, T. Rex was made of win and "Fuck you". He had enormous jaws that could swallow you whole in one bite if you dared laugh at his fucked up little arms that he used to play piano. Some people claim that two no-name wannabe dinosaurs, Spinosaurus and Giganotosaurus could beat T. Rex in a fight, but those people are misinformed.
  • Triceratops - That awesome spiky dinosaur that looked a bit like a rhino on steroids, Triceratops was a vegetarian, but it sure as shit wasn't some pussy. Triceratops was built like a tank and fucked shit up on a regular and consistant basis, even taking on T. Rex and winning. Recently, another loser dinosaur trying to score some points on the paleontology circuit, Torosaurus, tried to move in and steal Triceratops' thunder. Triceratops pwned that bitch so bad that Torosaurus doesn't even fucking exist any more.[1]
  • Velociraptor - Stephen Spielberg gave these guys a two hour and a half long blowjob when he made the movie Jurassic Park, making it out that they were super-smart and fast and deadly and could eat Samuel L. Jackson and learn how to open doors and stalk children through deserted restaurant kitchens and shit. IRL, however, they were about the size of a chicken and were covered in soft, fluffy feathers like a bunch of faggots. Scientists argue that this is good evidence that velociraptors were nature's first design for what would later evolve into the Internet tough guy.
  • Stegosaurus - A cheap, Chinese knock-off version of Triceratops, but no where near as cool. Notable for having two brains, a little one in its head and a larger one in its ass.
  • Parasaurolophus - Parasaurolophuses are sometimes called 'duckbills' because of the stupid shape of their mouths. They are semi-aquatic dinosaurs known for the large horns on the backs of their heads as well as their happy-go-lucky demeanours and cheery cry of "Yep, yep, yep!" Tragically, baby parasaurolophuses are often murdered by their abusive fathers. [2]
  • Pachycepalosaurus - This dinosaur used its ten inch thick skull to charge and hit its enemies weak points for massive damage.
  • Brachiosaurus - One of those gay ones with the long neck, brachiosaurus was one of the tallest dinosaurs ever to walk the earth. They're not terribly interesting, because all they did was eat leaves and fart and never really got into fights or anything cool like that.
  • Dracorex Hogwartsia - This unfortunate dinosaur was discovered by some paleontologists who were also Harry Potter fantards who couldn't keep their obsession with shitty children's literature out of their professional work. Its name means "dragon king of Hogwarts" in Latin, which is fucking ghey.
  • Pterodactyl - Pterodactyl wasn't actually a real dinosaur, just some dinosaur groupie flying lizard, but it gets lumped in with them in the toy aisle nonetheless, where it cries itself to sleep at night.
  • Ankylosaurus - This heavily armoured, scaly lizard was no pansy-ass bearded dragon! He was so heavily armoured and well-protected that even his eye-lids were armoured! Not even a T-Rex could bite through its bullet-proof armour! And even though this dinosaur had a walnut-sized brain for its elephant-sized body, not even T-Rex would want to fuck with it especially that huge-ass club at the end of its tail which could snap a T-Rex's bones like match-sticks! Too bad if this dinosaur gets flipped over, its unprotected underbelly gets exposed! Being unable to flip itself back up by itself, Ankylosaurus becomes easy OH NOM NOM NOM for even weak-sauce like Velicoraptors!

As we see, dinosaurs have a lot more Internet relevance than it would first seem, as they are involved with the two largest bases of fucktards on the Internet - creationists and furries. Also occasionally known as "Drama-saurs", any mention of dinosaurs, accurate or inaccurate, will cause a shitstorm of drama by people who spend far too much time on the internet.

Dinosaurs are the official best thing ever. This is mainly because of the fact that they were fucking awesome and way cooler than Cawadoody or any of that other gay shit you're interested in.

Unpopular Science

This was taken from the Conservapedia's first article on dinosaurs.

Mentioning dinosaurs is a sure-fire way to get a rise from any creationist who will claim either:

  • Dinosaurs existed for thousands, not millions of years.
  • The word "Dragon" in the Bible actually means "Dinosaur", which means dinosaurs and humans lived at the same time.
  • Dinosaurs did not exist. Ever. They are hoaxes made up be evil scientists who want to destroy religion.
  • Others think that dinosaur fossils are actually the bones of dragons, re-arranged by Satan and his minions to make Christians doubt the Bible.
  • Dinosaur bones were put by God just for the lulz.

It should be noted however that not all faith-heads automatically reject the idea of dinosaurs, as is the case of Raptor Jesus, who is worshiped by millions.

Evolution

Truth

Most dinosaurs became either reptiles(no retard) or birds. This is what most people think. As it turns out, dinosaurs are even more distantly related from humans than previously thought.

Before they evolved into apes, niggers were originally dinosaurs. Specialized bones - noticeably the enormous lips - were found in Africa. Scientists refer to it as a giant lawnmower. Its diet is unknown, although judging by it's descendants it's an easy guess.

The idea that humans are directly descended from dinosaurs should not be confused with Reptoids, which are lizards which came from outer space and take on the form of humans in order to take over the world. Strangely, the humans they chose to resemble are usually white people, not niggers.

How the Dinosaurs Became Extinct

Most scientists believe It was once widely believed that a giant meteorite caused the extinction of the dinosaurs, blocking out the sun, causing the next ice age, and ultimately killing all the cold-blooded animals, but anyone that still believes this is a fucktard.

Others believe it was an ancient form of global warming. Some think it was God.

How the dinosaurs became extinct has been debated by scientists for years. Few other people care.

Scalies

We only need one picture of furry art on this page, thank you very much.

Scalies are furries who have fursonas of reptiles instead of cute fuzzy animals. As is typical of the sort of people who would feel that they needed a seperate name for their own unique subsection of retarded anthropomorphic animal pr0n, they are fiercely defensive of their name, as they have scales, not fur. Such insignificant, Aspergian details should not be noted, as they are all still scumbags and no closer to Raptor Jesus than other furries.

Favorite sexual deviancy among scalies include egg-shitting in a permanent orgasmic state akin to shit art and wrapping their forked tongues around throbbing lizard cock. Many lizards and reptiles however do not have cocks but a single hole known as a cloaca - where shit, urine and cum all squirt out, which probably enhances the flavor.

Most scalies are either dinosaurs or dragons. The dinosaur of choice is always a raptor. Not a Stegosaurus with a brain the size of a walnut or a hideous egg-eater. It's always a raptor. This serves only as further blasphemy. The reason behind always choosing a raptor is that scalies also have a pawfur, vore, and guro fetish and enjoy ripping their partners apart with their feet and eating them.

Actually, since birds are said to be the dinosaurs' closest living relatives, the dino-furries should be classified amongst ANOTHER subgroup: the "Avians".

Spinosaurus & Giganotosaurus

Contrary to what some fags believe, this dinosaur is a homosex

One of the lesser known internet relevances dinosaurs have. Two of the most infamous dinosaurs of OUR time. They have been known to cause massive amounts of bawwing and drama. How is this possible? With the powers of JurASSic Park and Dino Crisis 2. Most of this drama can actually turn into fucking flamewars. Most of the drama happens on Youtube.

Trust me, go onto any video about Jurassic Park or Dino Crisis 2, you'll find someone bitching.

Why are all the fags whining?

Apparently, all of this is genereated from the fact that Spinosaurus/Giganotosaurus can kill T. Rex in a fight.

Of course, most of these intellectual people don't realize they're a bunch of retards.

Spinosaurus about to get his dick kicked in.

Here are some facts help you be moar smart:

  • Spinosaurus, though bigger than T. Rex, was primarily a fish eater. Its teeth and narrow jaws were for spearing fast-moving fish - useless for fighting an animal of T. Rex's size.
  • Spinosaurus was from Egypt, T. Rex was all American, baby. USA! USA! USA!!
  • T. Rex was better than you.

So, if you see anyone say "spino culd pwn T _Rex asS", they're most likely a a newfag, and you should begin the obvious.

Philosoraptor

Central tenet

Philosoraptor's Theory of Dinosaurs asserts that non-material abstract (but substantial) forms (or ideas) (Creationism), and not the material world of change known to us through Scientology, possess the highest and most fundamental kind of reality. Or in layman's terms - did dinosaurs eat Baby Jesus?

I eat therefore I nom

Not central tenet

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

O RLY?

We Covet a Thoughtful Dinosaur[3]

   
 
There are still many mysteries surrounding dinosaurs. We know that they're extinct (duh), and we know that they could be vicious carnivores and hippie-esque herbivores. But we still don't know for sure what they looked like and we definitely don't know if they ever had any deep thoughts. I mean, it's not likely that they pondered existence, but it's a nice idea, no?
 

 
 

Dinosaur controversies[4]

IRL Dinorider
Dinos sit up front. Black persons in back.
  • Did Dinosaurs Have Arthritis?
  • What "Warm-Blooded" Really Means?
  • Brontosaurus vs. Apatosaurus
  • Cats vs. Dinosaurs

Dinosexx0r

Dinosaur pornography is remarkably popular on the internet, but what isn't?

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External Links

See Also

Dinosaur is part of a series on

SCIENCE!

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Featured article October 3, 2005
Preceded by
Tinkebell
Dinosaur Succeeded by
Lincoln Continental