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DariusHunter: Difference between revisions
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*Tell him his hair looks greasier than a [[Mexico|Home Depot latino worker]]. | *Tell him his hair looks greasier than a [[Mexico|Home Depot latino worker]]. | ||
*Tell him that he secretly likes to jerk off kangaroos. | *Tell him that he secretly likes to jerk off kangaroos. | ||
*Bring up the fact that his faggot ass does not know how a fucking dragon makes noises, | *Bring up the fact that his faggot ass does not know how a fucking dragon makes noises, and that he will stop sighing like a pseudo intellectual pole smoker. | ||
*Make fun of Ausfailia in general | *Make fun of Ausfailia in general | ||
*Imply that he likes taking it up the ass from dingoes. | *Imply that he likes taking it up the ass from dingoes. | ||
Revision as of 00:21, 28 March 2015
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
The Idiot. The Faggot. The Legend In The Making.
Only a few choice words to describe this specific Lol-cow diamond in the rough, DariusHunter (Powerword: Jeremy Geard). A quickly up-and-coming star who hails from the small town of Melbourne, Ausfailia, he's a special furfag who is high on the rise on the popularity on the giant gloryhole bathroom wall of a website FurAffinity who spends literal piles of money so he can get fame off of his porn of anthropomorphic beings so he can bask in the sun of cocksuckers and having other successful and well-loved cumdumpsters interacting with him. His inspirations seem to be in the same leagues as Dragoneer, Uncle Kage, and Allan.
Oh, also he's an Otherkin, and he'll often use that to make up for excuses of his insanity. Make of that what you will.
The Empty Beginning
The story of Darius begins in early 2013, when he joins FurAffinity under the name darius-hunter, but surprisingly he ended up abandoning this account after a few months. Due to unknown reasons (or due to the original author of this not getting screencaps fast enough) he left this account shortly afterwards due to what he claimed to be "haunting reasons." We can only assume it was mainly because he was up to the typical hijinks that anybody of his mindset would do.
The Juicy Bits
Fast-forward to January 2014, Darius quickly decides that after quickly flying off his old account and dealing with his stress like a mature adult, he decides to make a valiant return to his most loved and cherished website, FurAffinity. His account would go under the name DariusHunter, because removing a hyphen from your name truly means a fresh start, right? He started off doing what most furfags of his caliber do. He bought porn with his money and made friends with people who had the same similar interests as him, nothing quite lulz-worthy yet. But, during May...
Burning money faster than a hooker's body
Darius quickly fell off the sanity train as he began buying extremely huge bundles of porn pictures, to the point that he started posting journals complaining about not keeping track of payments that he owed to people that drew art for him. He proceeded to do this for the next couple of journals that he posted, and god forbid if you actually called him out on his mentality that most 16 year old girls have, he'll begin crying crocodile tears and preach for you to understand "what it's like in his shoes", because being an idiot who spends heaps of money on porn is something to be sympathetic about, right? It should also be noted that he's so cock-hungry for his furry porn that even if artists aren't taking up open offers for payments, he'll even outright pay them triple their standard prices. Getting those fake assholes and cocks is truely worth the second mortgage.
Otherkin Beliefs
—DariusHunter - Sighing like a dragon because he obviously knows how a fucking dragon would make noises. | ||
If there was one thing Darius loves to keep stuffed firmly up his rectum, it's his beliefs in his Otherkin ideology. As if the image of Otherkin wasn't tarnished enough, The way he handles his pure and total faith is on the level of most Tumblr users. Like most dragonfags that have been chronicled on this site before, Darius firmly believes in himself that he was a mythical creature in a past life and that he is spiritually a flying majestic lizard, to the point that he even gets extremely flustered about preferred pronouns. He threatened at one point to revoke all outstanding payments he had sent out towards artists that were drawing him art, even ones that were already halfway finished with him, all because he didn't like how is fursona was referred to as a "character". Seriously.
The only good thing that has come out of this is that unlike most people that would just sweep this under the rug and pass it off as a "phase", his family somehow got alerted to what he's been preaching online. Just like any person that would hear pleas of concern from siblings and parents, Darius decided to bitch about it on an online journal and claim that his "human parents are silly". Clearly, he has more information about mental health than a psychologist. Unlike his parents though, who seem to gladly call him out on his insanity, his online followers and friends rallied him against his parents, claiming his parents weren't showing respect and they have no sense of spirituality. We can only hope his family puts the pressure on more in hopes of Darius actually growing a mind and seeing how much of a faggot he's been. We could chalk this up to young stupidity, but no. He's 25.
WARNING: THIS PERSON HAS SUCH ATROCIOUS GRAMMAR HE MAKES A QUADRAPLEGIC MIDGET WITH PARKINSONS LOOK BETTER AT SPELLING.
Even the furfags wise up
It should speak volumes that, even on a site that hosts porn of humanized animals, people seem to have a few brain cells flying around somewhere in their heads. A decent margin of other imaginary cocksuckers are becoming aware of how much of a cock tyrant that Dariushunter is striving to be. To the point that he has posted several journals over the course of his stay vaguely calling out people and claiming he's staying right where he is on this website. So, I guess even intelligence can exist somewhere on a website for lonely basement-dwelling perverts, right?
The Fake Dragon's Ethics
Darius is a serious moneygrubber. It's almost scary how much money he seems to have. We don't know if it's from special needs or from having rich parents, but all we can say, is it's definitely not from having an actual job. He often advertised to have at least 2 cars in his name on the overview of his profile and bought porn on an almost daily basis. He's definitely not afraid to show it either. At one point he even advertised giving away a car to some random person if they won some kind of contest he held on a journal. This raises all kinds of questions about how he could even get a car sent to somebody or even how he would process this out, but it is more than likely bullshit.
One thing that's also amusing about his half-assed way to reach pseudo-popularity is he'll even go to random "well-known" furries around the site and he'll go out of his way to offer paying to have a porn picture with them, even offering to pay full price for it. This is obviously a cheap strategy to try and get attention so he can be one nano-step up from being a complete loser with no aspirations for his future. If that wasn't retarded enough, he'll even feign friendship in public comments around well-known cockwhores so he can look like a very approachable person. Of course, anybody with the brain capacity of a sweatshop china worker wasn't buying it.
Typical Aspie
—Darius - Trying to sound like nobody should fuck with him and his internet cred, and not in the way he prefers. | ||
Yes, he's one of those. He claims to have Assburgers and boy, if he ever finds a way to blame his mistakes on it, he takes it faster than a Sunset Boulevard streetwalker. He will typically blame his behavioral problems and his shortcomings on his "disability". Despite the fact that even though Asperger's can make a person dive into repetitive habits and cause them anxiety issues when they go outside their boundaries, a person with Asperger's can still be in perfect control and be aware of their behavior. It's common knowledge though that the typical Aspie doesn't give two shits about anything but themselves. As he's shown Darius is a selfish, narcissistic asshole who expects this god graced motherland of wind-tunnel sized assholes and towering cocks to feel remorse for this poor boy having the mentality of a two year old. So it goes without saying that due to his anal cavity being stretched to extremes like Laffy Taffy, he has come down with a heavy case of Unwarranted Self-Importance.
It All Comes To A (cock)Head
Shit begins hitting the fan for Darius around Thanksgiving/Christmas of this year when he makes what this cockloving community considered a major No-No. He was going through a typical transaction process with a well-known furry artist, despite the fact he makes it a point to point out his Otherkin belief even though it has nothing to do with anything. The exchange seemed to be going well, without much hostility and there was fairness, but then suddenly, Darius loses his fucking tits. He claims he fucking hates the piece and he never liked it at all, defames the artist as being untrustworthy, and demanding his payment back. Just like the pathetic manchild he is. In a surprising turn of events, the artist decided to fight back and release this exchange of emails to the public. Suffice to say, Darius's image with his fellow cocksuckers was tarnished and he proceeded to post repeated hugboxing journals trying to garner sympathy from onlookers. It ended just about as well as you expected it to.
All things considered, Darius instantly backpedaled 5,000 miles and jumped into a pool of tears the nanosecond this email chain was posted up. He fled to his little comforting nest and cried such woeful tears in the hopes of people puckering their sweet luscious lips on his saggy ass in a vain attempt to make him feel better. Unfortunately, that barely happened as most people decided to finally hate on him for being a fucking retard.
The End Result
What followed in the weeks to come was nothing less than lolz-worthy, at least as far as shit-spewing furry drama comes. In another masterfully crafted tactic to avoid drama, he created a new account by the name of RenatusRamirez to avoid the tension. He claimed he was going to show nobody this new profile and keep it seperate from his main in order to keep the heat off. This would've worked if it wasn't for the fact that ALL THE SAME PEOPLE WERE FOLLOWING IT AND IT HAD THE EXACT SAME LAYOUT STYLE AS HIS ORIGINAL ACCOUNT. What happened immediately afterwards is a swift deactivation of the account came a few days later and he completely put his DariusHunter account on total shutdown. He deleted all pictures, info, and anything else that his imaginary huge cock wasn't towering over. All seemed at peace for a brief time...
A New Beginning
Not soon after the entire mass deletion of yours truly, he proceeded to make another fucking new account. This time naming himself Darius-Bluebutt. I'm guessing it's not because his butt itself is blue, it's probably blue from all the swift beatings both his parents and fighters for justice have been giving him. It seems the strategy hasn't been working for him though, for it seems he's still got people following him around to further implant seeds of sanity in the hopes of him becoming a well-adjusted individual.
He has become so conscious of people turning on him and trying to kick them off his high pedestal that he has now become truly paranoid. He now questions and interrogates any person who so much as follows his page, demanding not to be led astray by a decent gesture. Moreso that he is putting his comment box on lockdown now due to being afraid of the fact that not every person on the planet wants to have their noses slid deep into his prostate.
Time can only tell if he'll ever be able to make these turnarounds. Though, let's be honest, he's a loser.
WHAT A TWEEST
Whether it's due to discovering this article or just having his mind shattered like a fine vase that it is, he has already beat cheeks off his current account and his newest account has now been left abandoned like a fugitive on the run. We'll be keeping an eye out to see if we can pinpoint his eventual return point so he can restart the reckoning for himself once more.
It's like the ending to Persona 3 FES, but with more faggotry.
It also seems we've had a blanking pigeon or two flocking to this article in a vain attempt to delete sections of the article due to having hurt feelings. Don't worry though, we're keeping a close eye out for the poor innocent fighters that seek to cause havoc and want to ruin a beautiful thing.
NIGGA BE CALLIN' OUT ED
After plenty of goating, it seems our favorite little hypocrite finally gave us a reaction. It might look like a typical faggy reaction, but it's still noteworthy and amusing to read. Funny how he brags about not giving us attention and yet this whole journal is dedicated to the ED shenanigans. He is right about one thing though, we do love him.
We love him so much for being an ignorant jackass. :) P.S. You don't even need an added caption to see how disgustingly bad his "ranting" is.
Gallery
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Being a typical e-pussybeggar. -
Throwing more feces over the email chain. -
Trying to show some form of regret over being a fuck-up. -
Still trying to find some nice succulent tongues that are willing to be jammed up his anus. -
Trying to forcibly make the artist know about his Otherkin side in the email chain, because it has everything to do with what's being discussed.
Ways To Piss Him off
- Call his fursona a character.
- Tell him that he's a human.
- Show him screencaps.
- Link to this article.
- Bring up the artist drama.
- Be friends with people he doesn't like.
- Tell him his hair looks greasier than a Home Depot latino worker.
- Tell him that he secretly likes to jerk off kangaroos.
- Bring up the fact that his faggot ass does not know how a fucking dragon makes noises, and that he will stop sighing like a pseudo intellectual pole smoker.
- Make fun of Ausfailia in general
- Imply that he likes taking it up the ass from dingoes.
External Links
darius-hunter 🔒PRIVATE ACCOUNT. You need to log in, follow, or friend this person in order to see it! - No longer active and never BALEETED for some reason.- duran-hunter - Sockpuppet account to represent his character's loving brother. DEAD.
- sharda-hunter - Another sockpuppet that was made to represent his character's sister. DEAD.
His current occupied accountinstantly abandonedDeactivated- darius-drasko-hunter 🔒PRIVATE ACCOUNT. You need to log in, follow, or friend this person in order to see it! - Potential new runaway account. It's like he's not even trying to hide anymore.
See Also
|
DariusHunter is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
 |
Vampires • Humanoids • Reptiles • The Rest • See Also Click topics to expand |
| Featured article February 3 & 4, 2015 | ||
| Preceded by Sea-lioning |
DariusHunter | Succeeded by TBA |