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Cigarskunk: Difference between revisions
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imported>Kaizen Reverted edits by Lordoflordz (talk) to last revision by [[User:imported>Sidecar|imported>Sidecar]] |
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[[Image:Bushsaudkiss.jpg|thumb|right|Cigarskunk wishes he was that raghead]] | [[Image:Bushsaudkiss.jpg|thumb|right|Cigarskunk wishes he was that raghead]] | ||
[[Image:Cigarskunk1.jpg|thumb|left|Sean Foltz (Cigarskunk) in his typical non-skunk homosexual appearance. | [[Image:Cigarskunk1.jpg|thumb|left|Sean Foltz (Cigarskunk) in his typical non-skunk homosexual appearance. ]] | ||
'''Cigarskunk''' ([[powerword|real name]] '''Sean A. Foltz''', age 41 as of 2013) is not your [[typical]] [[conservative]] [[furry]], content to [[yiff]] away in [[Anonymous|anonymity]] while secretly [[Raep|dry-humping]] a copy of ''Mein Kampf'' in his mother's bedroom closet while sniffing her panties, [[cutting]] himself, and to put the icing on the [[cake]], dressed in a skunk suit - he is unafraid to actively participate on conservative blogs under his [[screen name|furhandle]], and to [[email]] the owner of a veteran's website in order to further an attempt at Swift-Boating [[Barack Hussein Osama]] in time for the general election. | |||
After being approvingly quoted on the ironically-named "Sweetness & Light" wingnut blog, an enterprising commenter on [[Sadly, No!]] recognized his furhandle and brought his [[Insane|insanity]] to the light of the [[Politics|political]] [[blogosphere]], who promptly [[Lol|lolled]]. | After being approvingly quoted on the ironically-named "Sweetness & Light" wingnut blog, an enterprising commenter on [[Sadly, No!]] recognized his furhandle and brought his [[Insane|insanity]] to the light of the [[Politics|political]] [[blogosphere]], who promptly [[Lol|lolled]]. | ||
Like fellow confurrrrvatives [[Jay Naylor]] and [[RHJunior]], Cigarskunk loves to spout off [[fallacy]] about how [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/127273/ doctors kill more people than guns], how [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/129558/ atheists kill more people than religious nuts] (See, if you add up all the people killed by that liberal [[Hitler]] with all the people killed by that liberal [[ | Like fellow confurrrrvatives [[Jay Naylor]] and [[RHJunior]], Cigarskunk loves to spout off [[fallacy]] about how [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/127273/ doctors kill more people than guns], how [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/129558/ atheists kill more people than religious nuts] (See, if you add up all the people killed by that liberal [[Hitler]] with all the people killed by that liberal [[Stalin]] and all the [[Abortion|aborted]] fetuses in the world = PROFIT) and how [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/135576/ blathering about cigars] makes him | ||
some sort of cowboy. Cigarskunk totally knows what he’s talking about, because he has a totally [[Lie|fast-paced and rewarding]] job at a government welfare office, where he gets to [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/116427/ complain] about all the lazy [[Nigger|niggers]] and [[Spic|spics]]. Being a furry, Cigarskunk’s rants are lapped up by the usual sycophants but he’s also got a special following among | some sort of cowboy. Cigarskunk totally knows what he’s talking about, because he has a totally [[Lie|fast-paced and rewarding]] job at a government [[welfare]] office, where he gets to [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/116427/ complain] about all the lazy [[Nigger|niggers]] and [[Spic|spics]]. Being a furry, Cigarskunk’s rants are lapped up by the usual sycophants but he’s also got a special following among [[batshit insane]] Christian furs. | ||
== Internet tough guy loves skunks, hates niggers == | == Internet tough guy loves skunks, hates niggers == | ||
[[Image:CigarSkunk.jpg|thumb|left|Cigarskunk getting recognition from CYD]] | [[Image:CigarSkunk.jpg|thumb|left|Cigarskunk getting recognition from CYD]] | ||
[[Image:Skunkorgy.jpg|thumb|right|See how totally not gay he is? See? See?]] | [[Image:Skunkorgy.jpg|thumb|right|See how totally not gay he is? See? See?]] | ||
Cigarskunk wrote his own [[ | Cigarskunk [[USI|wrote his own]] [[WikiFur]] entry, where he took credit for single-handedly popularizing skunks in the furry community, as if convincing a gaggle of [[Redneck|mouth-breathing social retards]] to spank it to a new kind of [[stinkrat]] is some sort of accomplishment. He did this by begging artists to draw skunk porn until they caved. Ironically, skunk-fucking is nothing new in the furry fandom, being recognized since the [[Rick Astley|1980s]].[http://en.wikifur.com/wiki/Skunkfucker] | ||
He got pwned on [[fchan]] after saying that [[Nigger|niggers]] are genetically inferior due to [[Incest|inbreeding]]. Channers retaliated by pointing out that Cigarskunk’s fetishistic love for Tiny Toons character Fifi La Fume indicated a love of [[Pedophilia|kiddie diddling]]. Cigarskunk erupted into major fagsplosion, [[Crybaby|cried the tears of ultimate sadness]], then [[Fail|proclaimed himself the winner]] and [[Quitting IRC forever|left the board forever]]. [[EVAR]]! (That was of course due to the lack of skunk buttsecks that day) | He got pwned on [[fchan]] after saying that [[Nigger|niggers]] are genetically inferior due to [[Incest|inbreeding]]. Channers retaliated by pointing out that Cigarskunk’s fetishistic love for Tiny Toons character Fifi La Fume indicated a love of [[Pedophilia|kiddie diddling]]. Cigarskunk erupted into major fagsplosion, [[Crybaby|cried the tears of ultimate sadness]], then [[Fail|proclaimed himself the winner]] and [[Quitting IRC forever|left the board forever]]. FOR[[EVAR]]! (That was of course due to the lack of skunk buttsecks that day) | ||
{{squote|Let's put aside political correctness and be realistic for a second here - if Obama loses the general election then there will be race riots - cities will burn and God only knows how many innocents will be hurt and killed. ... So the reality is that Obama HAS to lose the primary because if he doesn't, then thousandss of gallons of | {{squote|Let's put aside political correctness and be realistic for a second here - if Obama loses the general election then there will be race riots - cities will burn and God only knows how many innocents will be hurt and killed. ... So the reality is that Obama HAS to lose the primary because [[Time Cube|if he doesn't, then thousandss of gallons of innocent blood that will be spilled and the hundreds of billions in property damage will be the responsibility of everyone who supported Obama]]|[http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/379680/#cid:2962464 Cigarskunk, in this comment]}} | ||
== Cigarskunk loves cock == | == Cigarskunk loves cock == | ||
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[http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/221642/#cid:1656674 Cigarskunk, in this comment]}} | [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/221642/#cid:1656674 Cigarskunk, in this comment]}} | ||
Because of his [[neo-con]] beliefs, Cigarskunk is unable to come to terms with his repressed homosexuality, instead restricting himself to gooey fantasies about having a [[ | Because of his [[neo-con]] beliefs, Cigarskunk is unable to come to terms with his repressed, dick craving homosexuality, instead restricting himself to gooey fantasies about having a [[Niggerdick|long, hard, brown cigar shaft]] in his mouth. Haha, we kid: Cigarskunk is, of course, completely secure in his [[Heterosexual|heterosexuality]] as evidenced by the fact that he can’t type more than a sentence without pointing out how [http://www.furaffinity.net/view/490686/ tough] he is, how totally straight he is, how much he loves vagina, and how he gets massive amounts of poontang 24/7. You can tell that Cigarskunk is totally NOT trying to compensate for anything because he commissions reams and reams of personalized [[pornography]] showing his skunk character fucking anything that has a pussy and then demanding that they bake him a pie. Like every real man, Cigarskunk knows that the measure of man’s heterosexuality is his hatred for [[women]], so every picture is chock full of deliciously [http://www.furaffinity.net/full/624901/ jovial misogyny]. | ||
Unlike [[Dave Hopkins]]' strategy of "covering up sexual insecurities by marrying a creature so hideous even he looks good in comparison", Cigarskunk brings [http:// | Unlike [[Dave Hopkins]]' strategy of "covering up sexual insecurities by marrying a creature so hideous even he looks good in comparison", Cigarskunk brings [http://en.wikifur.com/wiki/Cigarskunk paid escorts] to furrycons to convince fellow [[furfags]] that he’s a total pimp. Since his highest aspiration in life is [[Burned Fur|showing up the bottom-of-the-barrel nerds that wear collars and neko cat-ears]], it should come as no surprise that Cigarskunk’s [[IRL|real]] love-life is restricted to fumbled attempted e-rapes on furry [[forum]]s. Scroll down [http://www.furaffinity.net/view/481453 here] for this particularly spectacular abortion, where his horrific efforts to seduce [[shemale]] Lilifox via oh-so-sexy action asterisks amount to [[epic]] [[fail]]. | ||
Cigarskunk at one time dated the equally broken furry [[camwhore]] Plush-She, who’s mainly known for jamming [http://www.tht.net/~tripper/NO/ stuffed animals up her cooter] and for not bathing. | Cigarskunk at one time dated the equally broken furry [[camwhore]] [[Plushie|Plush-She]], who’s mainly known for jamming [http://www.tht.net/~tripper/NO/ stuffed animals up her cooter] and for not bathing. | ||
== My [[opinion]] is da truth 'cause I has [[sick fuck]] [[logic]] and [[anti-lulz]] attitude == | == My [[opinion]] is da truth 'cause I has [[sick fuck]] [[logic]] and [[anti-lulz]] attitude == | ||
Here is a list of FurAffinity journals showing that Cigarskunk is a [[Mega ultra super genius|brilliant]] [[intellectual]] who's opinion is always supported by solid arguments from [[Bullshit|serious studies]] and trustworthy [[Statistics|stats]] so he can mesmerize his fellow brainless furfags (geez, all thoze numbrz are blinkin win), cuz he did [[Mathematics|mathz]] at the speshul shkool yeah : | {{quote|But how can we say that God hasn't been disproven when we've got all the work of Darwin and friends proving that liberals evolved from monkeys and pond scum?|That's right. Only liberals. Cigarskunk evolved from [[Chris-chan]] and [[Rootbrian]].}} | ||
[[Image:SkunkFeels.jpg|thumb|right|Remember, guys... cigar-chomping half-skunk half-men have feelings too (from his self-published Skunk Aficionado furzine, which lasted for a whopping 3 issues before being discontinued)]] | |||
Here is a list of [[FurAffinity]] journals showing that Cigarskunk is a [[Mega ultra super genius|brilliant]] [[intellectual]] who's opinion is always supported by solid arguments from [[Bullshit|serious studies]] and trustworthy [[Statistics|stats]] so he can mesmerize his fellow brainless furfags (geez, all thoze numbrz are blinkin win), cuz he did [[Mathematics|mathz]] at the speshul shkool yeah : | |||
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* [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/149056/ More guns equals less murders] (Oh yeah it's [[Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhh|SO obvious]]!) | * [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/149056/ More guns equals less murders] (Oh yeah it's [[Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhh|SO obvious]]!) | ||
* [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/127273/ Doctors kill more people than guns] (We are hoping that he gets lung [[cancer]] so he'll have to meet a doctor to save his worthless existence.) | * [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/127273/ Doctors kill more people than guns] (We are hoping that he gets lung [[cancer]] so he'll have to meet a doctor to save his worthless existence.) | ||
* [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/403404/ Obama's birth certificate] His point made short : <i>Yaeh dudz, Obama's BC is just sum falsified bullshit, cuz we all know he was born in [[Africa]] liek every [[nigga]], and becuz his true BC would be dirty and yellowish due to the fact that it must have been traveling Amazonia in Obama's [[Anus|poophole]] for[[At least 100|at least 40]] years, so [http://my.barackobama.com/page/invite/birthcert that minty fresh paper] has necessarily been [http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/howto/w2w/hawaii.htm forged] a few days ago [[Conspiracy|so we may have a Muslim terrorist for president]]. Fukken brown peoples takken our wimmens.</i> Naturally this lacks the countless links and [[copypasta]] of the original. | * [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/403404/ Obama's birth certificate] His point made short : <i>Yaeh dudz, Obama's BC is just sum falsified bullshit, cuz we all know he was born in [[Africa]] liek every [[nigga]], and becuz his true BC would be dirty and yellowish due to the fact that it must have been traveling Amazonia in Obama's [[Anus|poophole]] for [[At least 100|at least 40]] years, so [http://my.barackobama.com/page/invite/birthcert that minty fresh paper] has necessarily been [http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/howto/w2w/hawaii.htm forged] a few days ago [[Conspiracy|so we may have a Muslim terrorist for president]]. Fukken brown peoples takken our wimmens.</i> Naturally this lacks the countless links and [[copypasta]] of the original. | ||
* [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/516643/ Community Service is Slavery] oh lordy da black man has won us [[White people|whiteys]] is goin into the salt mines | * [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/516643/ Community Service is Slavery] oh lordy da black man has won us [[White people|whiteys]] is goin into the salt mines | ||
Also, if [[you]] post a long (admittedly,[[tl;dr]] | Also, if [[you]] post a long (admittedly, [[tl;dr]]) argument showing him how his "[[God]]" is a figment of his imagination, or a much more twisted person than he would like to believe, he will retort with a [[LOL WUT|two-word response]] and then block you so you can't spout more of your [[Fact|lies]]. The main reason for such short responses (according to our scientist) is because he often has a massive cock up his ass that reaches up into his spine paralyzing his hands. | ||
[http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/129558/#cid:3111446 CS cannot be bothered with facts that he doesn't invent.] Also note his belief that [[Hitler]], a far-right [[Catholic]], was a "[[Atheist|godless]] lefty", and his [[Retard|confusing a trillion with a billion]]. | [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/129558/#cid:3111446 CS cannot be bothered with facts that he doesn't invent.] Also note his belief that [[Hitler]], a far-right [[Catholic]], was a "[[Atheist|godless]] lefty", and his [[Retard|confusing a trillion with a billion]]. | ||
He has recently taken to posting various right-wing [[racist]]/sexist [[BAWWWWW|BAWWWWWing]] and then, when even his fellow furfags call him on it, dismissing it as [[Lie|satire]]. See also [[politically incorrect]], section 2. | He has recently taken to posting various right-wing [[racist]]/[[sexist]] [[BAWWWWW|BAWWWWWing]] and then, when even his fellow furfags call him on it, dismissing it as [[Lie|satire]]. See also [[politically incorrect]], section 2. | ||
== How to cigarskunk == | == How to cigarskunk == | ||
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* [[Smoking|Smoke]]. No, not ganja, despite what his name suggests. Smoke so much that the nicotine clogs up your brain and you start to actually believe [[furry]] + [[Nazi|Nazism]] + [[Idiot|idiocy]] = [[Winnar|win]]. | * [[Smoking|Smoke]]. No, not ganja, despite what his name suggests. Smoke so much that the nicotine clogs up your brain and you start to actually believe [[furry]] + [[Nazi|Nazism]] + [[Idiot|idiocy]] = [[Winnar|win]]. | ||
* Advertise. Go around with a picture of a skunk doing an underage skunk on your back. | * Advertise. Go around with a picture of a skunk doing an underage skunk on your back. | ||
* Internet. Act like you can actually get girls and do not smell. Post about your hatred of the brown persons, the homo-queer-uals, and the LIEberals at every point possible, pausing only to | * Internet. Act like you can actually get girls and do not smell. Post about your hatred of the brown persons, the homo-queer-uals, and the LIEberals at every point possible, pausing only to [[Masturbate|wank off]] and adjust the dildo up your ass. | ||
* Bawwwww. As you realize that, having followed these instructions, you will [[Dying alone|die alone]] with a cigar butt smoldering up your arsehole. | * Bawwwww. As you realize that, having followed these instructions, you will [[Dying alone|die alone]] with a cigar butt smoldering up your arsehole. | ||
== The real thing == | == The real thing == | ||
[[Image:Hello.jpg|thumb|right|What CS lieks to [[Facepainting|facepaint]].]] | |||
[[Image:Skunkherbie.jpg|thumb|left|Oh, Ciggie.]] | |||
[[Image:Trailor_park_clusterfuck.jpg|thumb|right|Ciggie's PIMPIN' homeplace.]] | |||
[[Image:Cigarskunk_idiotshateme.JPG|thumb|left|He takes that as a compliment.]] | |||
The reason behind Cigarskunk's huge gallery of commissioned art is that | |||
# Just like every other furfag, he can't draw shit. | |||
# He is actually so [[ugly]] no one wants him, not even fags, but since Cigarskunk's [[Lie|straight]], he won't let another fag fuck/suck him. | |||
# He spends all his free time on FA writing [[over 9000]] words a day about [[Shit nobody cares about|how stupid democrats are or why smoking cigars makes him so very Americanly manly.]] | |||
# And again because he often has a massive cock up his ass (you're such a great [[Buttsecks|ass-digger]] Herbie!) that reaches up into his spine paralyzing his hands. | |||
== Ciggie returns 2012 in human form == | |||
[[Image:Sean2012.jpg|thumb|left|Ready to yiff a baby croc]] | |||
[[Image:CSinPA.jpg|thumb|right|Proof that CS lives in Pennsyltucky. From http://en.wikifur.com/wiki/Talk:Mousey_Love_Girls#A_Correction_to_be_made.2C_and_some_Circumstantial_Evidence]] | |||
It appears our favorite furry has resurfaced after the flames finally died down...or so he thought. According to his [http://www.facebook.com/sean.foltz.10 Facebook] page, CS works at "none of your business" (which means he may have finally been fired from his job for purposely losing the paperwork of his colored welfare applicants) and is now [[Pretend|married]] to a Kit Wickliff. A strange name that sounds more like Kitten and Yiff if ya ask me! And what do ya know, she's a member of a few of the more prominent FB furry groups too. | |||
Turns out, Skunk's marriage is only a "Facebook marriage" since Kit lives on the other side of the US in [[Washington|Seattle]]. This was the ending result after Herb "Facebook divorced" him for leaving too many cigar burns on his mother's favorite carpet during [[Buttsecks|intimate games of Twister]]. | |||
Good ol' Ciggie has also popped up on [http://www.advancedbackgroundchecks.com/d/sean-foltz/126885929 Advanced Background Checks' directory.] Our hero's current and former address in [[Pennsylvania|PA]] are listed, as well as his phone number. Why not give him a call? I'm sure he misses hearing from all of his fans and political opponents. | |||
== External links == | == External links == | ||
[[Image:Retarded.jpg|thumb|right|What CS should know]] | [[Image:Retarded.jpg|thumb|right|What CS should know]] | ||
* [http://www.facebook.com/sean.foltz.10 IRL Facebook (human, nonfur form)] | |||
< | *{{furaffinity|cigarskunk}} Furaffinity account (set to private/registered users only) | ||
< | *[http://u18chan.com/c/topic/1105001 A horrendously complete page-by-page scan of the first issue of his self-published Skunk Aficionado fanzine] - Side note: The entire XXX [[Beastiality|skunk]] [[pr0n|porn]] series lasted a whopping 3 issues before being discontinued due to [[No_one_gives_a_shit|lack of funding]] | ||
< | * <s>{{ljuser|cigarskunk}} LiveJournal </s> (deleted) | ||
</ | * <s>[http://en.wikifur.com/wiki/Sean_A._Foltz Sean A. Foltz - WikiFur, the furry encyclopedia (self-written)] </s> (deleted at her request) | ||
* <s>[http://wiki.lulz.net/wiki/Cigarskunk Cigarskunk - DRAMAWIKI]</s> (deleted) | |||
* <s>[http://groups.yahoo.com/group/cigarskunk/ Yahoo! groups Autofellatio] (lol deleted... see [http://deletedfurries.jiglu.com/discussion/messages/769654 here] for proof this is real)</s> (lol proof is deleted too) | |||
* <s>[http://crushyiffdestroy.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=31774&highlight=#31774 Crush...Yiff...Destroy! View topic - Ladies and Gentlemen, OneChan.]</s> (dead link) | |||
* <s>[http://crushyiffdestroy.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=31775&highlight=#31775 Crush...Yiff...Destroy! View topic - More Cards]</s> (dead link) | |||
* <s>[http://crushyiffdestroy.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=31919&highlight=#31919 Crush...Yiff...Destroy! View topic - Ladies and Gentlemen, OneChan.]</s> (dead link) | |||
* <s>[http://my.expatica.com/c:be/forum/viewtopic.php?p=387465&highlight=#387465 Community Forums - Expatica (Powered by Invision Power Board)] Forum drama </s> (dead link) | |||
{{closetcases}} | |||
{{furfaggotry}} | |||
[[Category:Furries]] | |||
[[Category:People]] | |||
Latest revision as of 02:41, 20 December 2021
Cigarskunk (real name Sean A. Foltz, age 41 as of 2013) is not your typical conservative furry, content to yiff away in anonymity while secretly dry-humping a copy of Mein Kampf in his mother's bedroom closet while sniffing her panties, cutting himself, and to put the icing on the cake, dressed in a skunk suit - he is unafraid to actively participate on conservative blogs under his furhandle, and to email the owner of a veteran's website in order to further an attempt at Swift-Boating Barack Hussein Osama in time for the general election.
After being approvingly quoted on the ironically-named "Sweetness & Light" wingnut blog, an enterprising commenter on Sadly, No! recognized his furhandle and brought his insanity to the light of the political blogosphere, who promptly lolled.
Like fellow confurrrrvatives Jay Naylor and RHJunior, Cigarskunk loves to spout off fallacy about how doctors kill more people than guns, how atheists kill more people than religious nuts (See, if you add up all the people killed by that liberal Hitler with all the people killed by that liberal Stalin and all the aborted fetuses in the world = PROFIT) and how blathering about cigars makes him some sort of cowboy. Cigarskunk totally knows what he’s talking about, because he has a totally fast-paced and rewarding job at a government welfare office, where he gets to complain about all the lazy niggers and spics. Being a furry, Cigarskunk’s rants are lapped up by the usual sycophants but he’s also got a special following among batshit insane Christian furs.
Internet tough guy loves skunks, hates niggers
Cigarskunk wrote his own WikiFur entry, where he took credit for single-handedly popularizing skunks in the furry community, as if convincing a gaggle of mouth-breathing social retards to spank it to a new kind of stinkrat is some sort of accomplishment. He did this by begging artists to draw skunk porn until they caved. Ironically, skunk-fucking is nothing new in the furry fandom, being recognized since the 1980s.[1] He got pwned on fchan after saying that niggers are genetically inferior due to inbreeding. Channers retaliated by pointing out that Cigarskunk’s fetishistic love for Tiny Toons character Fifi La Fume indicated a love of kiddie diddling. Cigarskunk erupted into major fagsplosion, cried the tears of ultimate sadness, then proclaimed himself the winner and left the board forever. FOREVAR! (That was of course due to the lack of skunk buttsecks that day)
Cigarskunk loves cock
Because of his neo-con beliefs, Cigarskunk is unable to come to terms with his repressed, dick craving homosexuality, instead restricting himself to gooey fantasies about having a long, hard, brown cigar shaft in his mouth. Haha, we kid: Cigarskunk is, of course, completely secure in his heterosexuality as evidenced by the fact that he can’t type more than a sentence without pointing out how tough he is, how totally straight he is, how much he loves vagina, and how he gets massive amounts of poontang 24/7. You can tell that Cigarskunk is totally NOT trying to compensate for anything because he commissions reams and reams of personalized pornography showing his skunk character fucking anything that has a pussy and then demanding that they bake him a pie. Like every real man, Cigarskunk knows that the measure of man’s heterosexuality is his hatred for women, so every picture is chock full of deliciously jovial misogyny.
Unlike Dave Hopkins' strategy of "covering up sexual insecurities by marrying a creature so hideous even he looks good in comparison", Cigarskunk brings paid escorts to furrycons to convince fellow furfags that he’s a total pimp. Since his highest aspiration in life is showing up the bottom-of-the-barrel nerds that wear collars and neko cat-ears, it should come as no surprise that Cigarskunk’s real love-life is restricted to fumbled attempted e-rapes on furry forums. Scroll down here for this particularly spectacular abortion, where his horrific efforts to seduce shemale Lilifox via oh-so-sexy action asterisks amount to epic fail.
Cigarskunk at one time dated the equally broken furry camwhore Plush-She, who’s mainly known for jamming stuffed animals up her cooter and for not bathing.
My opinion is da truth 'cause I has sick fuck logic and anti-lulz attitude
—That's right. Only liberals. Cigarskunk evolved from Chris-chan and Rootbrian. | ||
Here is a list of FurAffinity journals showing that Cigarskunk is a brilliant intellectual who's opinion is always supported by solid arguments from serious studies and trustworthy stats so he can mesmerize his fellow brainless furfags (geez, all thoze numbrz are blinkin win), cuz he did mathz at the speshul shkool yeah :
- Walking cause more pollution then driving (Notice the poor grammar.)
- More guns equals less murders (Oh yeah it's SO obvious!)
- Doctors kill more people than guns (We are hoping that he gets lung cancer so he'll have to meet a doctor to save his worthless existence.)
- Obama's birth certificate His point made short : Yaeh dudz, Obama's BC is just sum falsified bullshit, cuz we all know he was born in Africa liek every nigga, and becuz his true BC would be dirty and yellowish due to the fact that it must have been traveling Amazonia in Obama's poophole for at least 40 years, so that minty fresh paper has necessarily been forged a few days ago so we may have a Muslim terrorist for president. Fukken brown peoples takken our wimmens. Naturally this lacks the countless links and copypasta of the original.
- Community Service is Slavery oh lordy da black man has won us whiteys is goin into the salt mines
Also, if you post a long (admittedly, tl;dr) argument showing him how his "God" is a figment of his imagination, or a much more twisted person than he would like to believe, he will retort with a two-word response and then block you so you can't spout more of your lies. The main reason for such short responses (according to our scientist) is because he often has a massive cock up his ass that reaches up into his spine paralyzing his hands.
CS cannot be bothered with facts that he doesn't invent. Also note his belief that Hitler, a far-right Catholic, was a "godless lefty", and his confusing a trillion with a billion.
He has recently taken to posting various right-wing racist/sexist BAWWWWWing and then, when even his fellow furfags call him on it, dismissing it as satire. See also politically incorrect, section 2.
How to cigarskunk
Yes, now you too can shamelessly imitate everyone's favourite internet confurvative. Here's whatcha gotta do:
- Look. Radically alter your appearance so you not only look like a sex offender, but sound and smell like one too (I suggest using a hammer).
- Smoke. No, not ganja, despite what his name suggests. Smoke so much that the nicotine clogs up your brain and you start to actually believe furry + Nazism + idiocy = win.
- Advertise. Go around with a picture of a skunk doing an underage skunk on your back.
- Internet. Act like you can actually get girls and do not smell. Post about your hatred of the brown persons, the homo-queer-uals, and the LIEberals at every point possible, pausing only to wank off and adjust the dildo up your ass.
- Bawwwww. As you realize that, having followed these instructions, you will die alone with a cigar butt smoldering up your arsehole.
The real thing
The reason behind Cigarskunk's huge gallery of commissioned art is that
- Just like every other furfag, he can't draw shit.
- He is actually so ugly no one wants him, not even fags, but since Cigarskunk's straight, he won't let another fag fuck/suck him.
- He spends all his free time on FA writing over 9000 words a day about how stupid democrats are or why smoking cigars makes him so very Americanly manly.
- And again because he often has a massive cock up his ass (you're such a great ass-digger Herbie!) that reaches up into his spine paralyzing his hands.
Ciggie returns 2012 in human form
It appears our favorite furry has resurfaced after the flames finally died down...or so he thought. According to his Facebook page, CS works at "none of your business" (which means he may have finally been fired from his job for purposely losing the paperwork of his colored welfare applicants) and is now married to a Kit Wickliff. A strange name that sounds more like Kitten and Yiff if ya ask me! And what do ya know, she's a member of a few of the more prominent FB furry groups too.
Turns out, Skunk's marriage is only a "Facebook marriage" since Kit lives on the other side of the US in Seattle. This was the ending result after Herb "Facebook divorced" him for leaving too many cigar burns on his mother's favorite carpet during intimate games of Twister.
Good ol' Ciggie has also popped up on Advanced Background Checks' directory. Our hero's current and former address in PA are listed, as well as his phone number. Why not give him a call? I'm sure he misses hearing from all of his fans and political opponents.
External links
- IRL Facebook (human, nonfur form)
cigarskunk Furaffinity account (set to private/registered users only)- A horrendously complete page-by-page scan of the first issue of his self-published Skunk Aficionado fanzine - Side note: The entire XXX skunk porn series lasted a whopping 3 issues before being discontinued due to lack of funding
cigarskunk LiveJournal Sean A. Foltz - WikiFur, the furry encyclopedia (self-written)(deleted at her request)Cigarskunk - DRAMAWIKI(deleted)Yahoo! groups Autofellatio (lol deleted... see here for proof this is real)(lol proof is deleted too)Crush...Yiff...Destroy! View topic - Ladies and Gentlemen, OneChan.(dead link)Crush...Yiff...Destroy! View topic - More Cards(dead link)Crush...Yiff...Destroy! View topic - Ladies and Gentlemen, OneChan.(dead link)Community Forums - Expatica (Powered by Invision Power Board) Forum drama(dead link)
| Cigarskunk is part of a series on Gay Republicans [OPEN THE CLOSET!]
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Cigarskunk is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |