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{{fyi|This article was left partially vandalized for several years and nobody noticed.
{{fyi|This article was left partially vandalized for several years and nobody noticed.
That's how little people care about Doug nowadays.}}
That's how little people care about Doug nowadays.}}
{{quote|Well, I don't know much about (media Nostalgia Critic is to review here), but let's take a look and find out.|Said when NC reviews anything, ever}}
{{Infobox person
|image = NostalgiaCritic.png
|powerword = Douglas Darrien Walker
|occupation = Actor, comedian, YouTuber, filmmaker, writer
|years active = 2007-present
|nationality = [[Italian]]-[[American]]
|website = [http://channelawesome.com Manchildcave]<br>[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiH828EtgQjTyNIMH6YiOSw JewTube channel]
|gender = Male}}


[[File:Nostalgia critic background.gif|thumb|right|The Nostalgia Critic.]]
'''Douglas Darrien Walker''' (a.k.a. '''The Nostalgia Critic''') is a self-proclaimed actor, [[unfunny|comedian]], [[YouTuber]], writer, and filmmaker who became a minor [[lolcow]] due to his stunning incompetence at doing what he calls a career. While he is the most popular contributor to his website, [[That Guy With The Glasses]], his videos are no better than what you'd find on [[YouTube]] back in 2008 and aren't even the best TGWTG.com has to offer. In recent years Doug has been involved in several [[hilarious|embarrassing]] incidents, usually the result of him trying to move beyond entertaining 14-year-olds on an increasingly irrelevant website and [[failing]] miserably.


'''[[Doug]] Walker''' ''(a.k.a The Nostalgia Critic, That Guy With The Glasses or simply That Guy'') is a terrible [[faggot|actor]] who performs a multitude of extremely [[unfunny]] routines ripping on terrible actors, exclusively for [[TGWTG|Thatguywiththeglasses.com]]. He is one of the site's co-founders and the first person to contribute to the site. He is in many ways similar to his friend and co-contributor [[The Spoony Experiment|TheSpoonyOne]], because both fail in every possible way. Doug is directly responsible for the creation of [[at least 100|numerous]] [[forced meme]]s, perhaps more than any other single human being in history. He relies on these in all his work, particularly his Nostalgia Critic reviews, as he posesses no actual talent, and more often than not, knows nothing about the material he's reviewing. His other methods of generating [[anti-lulz|lulz]] include [[screamer|screaming]], [[BAWWW|whining]], [[crossover|having lots of cameos]], and completely ignoring the source material to make jokes that take 5-minutes to deliver.
He is also said to produce [[vuvuzela|the most annoying sound known to man.]]
 
==Origins and Fallout with YouTube==
[[File:He Married Her, So You Don't Have To..jpg|thumb|left|Doug, pictured here with his [[fat]], [[ugly]] [[hambeast]] of a wife. He married her, so you don't have to.]]
Before co-founding TGWTG.com, Doug was either an illustrator or janitor who made a self-explanatory series of videos on Youtube called [[TS;DR|"5 Second Movies"]], [[nobody cares|allegedly based off of some in-joke he and his friends had about some movie]]. [[sarcasm|Hilarious]]. Eventually one of these videos was taken down due to a [[copyright]] claim, which Doug dealt with by [[deleting his Youtube videos]] and teaming up with [[broke|Circuit City employee]]-turned entrepreneur Mike Michaud and a couple of other nobodies to make his own website.


He is also said to produce [[vuvuzela|the most annoying sound known to man.]]
Doug eventually became successful enough to quit his day job and focus on his [[crap|work]]. This is not uncommon for people who make money off of posting videos on The Web, but Doug decided to put on a big show when he quit [[for the lulz]]. Of course any potential employer who sees the video he posted probably won't be laughing, so Doug's probably going to be stuck with making videos for TGWTG.com for a long, long time.


==Origins and Fallout with [[YouTube]]==
<center><youtube>pZ-Sy11mvZU</youtube></center>
Before co-founding TGWTG.com, Doug made a self-explanatory series of videos on Youtube called [[TS;DR|"5 Second Movies"]], [[nobody cares|allegedly based off of some in-joke he and his friends had about some movie]]. [[sarcasm|Hilarious]]. Eventually one of these videos was taken down due to a [[copyright]] claim, which Doug dealt with by [[deleting his Youtube videos]] and teaming up with [[dead|Circuit City]] employee-turned entrepreneur Mike Michaud and a couple of other nobodies to make his own website.
<center>What a rebel.</center>


[[image:dougwalker.jpg|thumb|Doug Walker, wondering where his hair went]]
[[image:dougwalker.jpg|thumb|Doug Walker, wondering where his hair went]]
[[image:Doug'sNutsack.png|thumb|Doug's nutsack.  People at [[TV Tropes]] are known to die of orgasm upon seeing this.]]
[[image:NC_shirtless1.jpeg|thumb|Or this.]]


==The Nostalgia Critic==
==The Nostalgia Critic==
The Nostalgia Critic became Doug's main routine after his fallout with Youtube. Originally, he reviewed [[old media|films and television shows]] from or around his childhood (even if he never watched it himself, but nowadays he'll just review whatever he thinks people will like watching. His "reviews" would be more accurately described as synopses interlaced with occasional criticism and jokes that he spends way too much time on. The videos also last an average of 30 minutes, which is more than twice as long as they need to be. Because he is by far the most popular contributor on the site, Doug is tasked with promoting his co-contributors [[always|when they're not doing well]]; this is done by having them make an unwanted [[crossover|cameo appearance]] in his newest video where they waste even more of everyone's time. Also, enjoy the [[ads]] that he puts in the middle of his videos for extra [[Blip]] monies.
<center>'''[[File:Speaker.png|20px|link=]] [[Media:criticsmpl.ogg|Critic's voice sample about you]]'''</center><br />
The Nostalgia Critic became Doug's main routine after his fallout with Youtube. Originally, he reviewed [[old media|films and television shows]] from or around his childhood (even if he never watched it himself), but nowadays he'll just review whatever he thinks people will like watching (Including movies not yet on home video just to get that sweet trending add revenue). His "reviews" would be more accurately described as synopses interlaced with occasional criticism and jokes that he spends way too much time on. The videos also last an average of 30 minutes, which is more than twice as long as they need to be. Because he is by far the most popular contributor on the site, Doug is tasked with promoting his co-contributors [[always|when they're not doing well]]; this is done by having them make an unwanted [[crossover|cameo appearance]] in his newest video where they waste even more of everyone's time. Also, enjoy the [[ads]] that he puts in the middle of his videos for extra [[Blip]] monies.
That aforementioned "occasional criticism", by the way, is rendered completely [[useless]] by wildly inconsistent standards and [[lazy|minimal background research]]. It doesn't help that a lot of his criticism is thinly disguised humor with no regard for anything he's said prior. His obvious prioritization of comedy doesn't even make the videos more funny, since his best jokes are the ones he spends the least amount of time on, and you'd probably be able to get those same jokes in a 10-minute review by any of the 750 other "funny" critics out there.
That aforementioned "occasional criticism", by the way, is rendered completely [[useless]] by wildly inconsistent standards and [[lazy|minimal background research]]. It doesn't help that a lot of his criticism is thinly disguised humor with no regard for anything he's said prior. His obvious prioritization of comedy doesn't even make the videos more funny, since his best jokes are the ones he spends the least amount of time on, and you'd probably be able to get those same jokes in a 10-minute review by any of the 750 other "funny" critics out there.
<center><youtube>UTuaBxqhiJA</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>UTuaBxqhiJA</youtube></center>
<center>All in all, The Nostalgia Critic is neither Nostalgic nor is it Criticism. It's just an unnecessarily long comedic routine that isn't really funny.</center>
<center>All in all, The Nostalgia Critic is neither Nostalgic nor is it Criticism. It's just an unnecessarily long comedic routine that isn't really funny.</center>
==How to Make a Nostalgia Critic Review==
#Find a movie that everybody knows about and have already critiqued the hell out of. (ex. ''Batman & Robin'')
#Make sure that your review encompasses and completely spoils the entire plot of said movie; after all, since the movie I'm reviewing sucks, it means we have to make sure EVERYBODY knows what happens to they don't watch it!
#Add a 5-10 minute skit at the beginning of your "review". Don't forget to add a laugh track for comedic effect!
#Nitpick the hell out of said movie. Don't focus on the structure of the writing or development of characters, just bitch about how a character talks or the name of the town they live in!
#Be entirely biased and negative throughout. When a film displays any positive qualities, ignore them and [[Ad hominem|continue to nitpick the hell out of the set design or the way the characters dress up.]]
#Add 3-minute skit intermissions between your review. Your skit should be laced with overacting and overly-dramatic music.
#???
#PROFIT!!!!


==Other Routines==
==Other Routines==
[[image:ChesterCSpoonyrippsoff.jpg|thumb|left|200px|This is the greatest [[wiki]] he's ever seen in his life.]]
[[image:ChesterCSpoonyrippsoff.jpg|thumb|120px|This is the greatest [[wiki]] he's ever seen in his life.]]
Doug has also performed a number of other routines. Most of them were thankfully one-offs but a few stuck around.
Doug has also performed a number of other routines. Most of them were thankfully one-offs but a few stuck around.


*'''Ask That Guy''' - Doug wears a bathrobe and answers dumb questions from fans in the most offensive way he can think of. Despite being the name of both his website and pseudonym, This character is named That Guy With the Glasses, but is not related to the website or the name Doug occasionally uses for himself, meaning [[OMG|Doug is not very original with names]].  
 
*'''Ask That Guy''' - Doug wears a bathrobe and pretends to be a [[douchebag]] named That Guy With the Glasses, answering dumb questions from fans in the most [[offensive]] way he can think of. Confusingly, Doug also uses "That Guy With the Glasses" as a pseudonym and as the name of his website. He must not be very good with names.
*'''Bum Reviews''' - Doug wears a [[South Park|Stan Marsh]] hat and pretends to be a homeless drug addict named Chester A. Bum, then bounces around giving a barely comprehensible synopsis of some movie he recently saw with a very brief statement at the time about whether he actually liked the movie or not. Still not actually reviewing.
*'''Bum Reviews''' - Doug wears a [[South Park|Stan Marsh]] hat and pretends to be a homeless drug addict named Chester A. Bum, then bounces around giving a barely comprehensible synopsis of some movie he recently saw with a very brief statement at the time about whether he actually liked the movie or not. Still not actually reviewing.
*'''Video Game Confessions''' - Doug dresses up as a bartender named Dominic and tells [[fanfiction|stories about various video game characters coming to his imaginary bar and doing embarrassing things]] while Doug draws rather bland pictures of them. Canon is usually disregarded completely.
*'''Video Game Confessions''' - Doug dresses up as a bartender named Dominic and tells [[fanfiction|stories about various video game characters coming to his imaginary bar and doing embarrassing things]] while Doug draws rather bland pictures of them. Canon is usually disregarded completely.
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==Doug's Inner Circle==
==Doug's Inner Circle==
[[image:Ma-tinc.png|thumb|left|200px|Bhargav Dronamraju dressed as a very bored Ma-ti]]
Most of the people under the TGWTG banner have content of their own (although nobody watches them). These guys, however, have somehow achieved notoriety on the site just by helping Doug make his videos.
Most of the people under the TGWTG banner have content of their own (although nobody watches them). These guys, however, have somehow achieved notoriety on the site just by helping Doug make his videos.


===Rob Walker===
===Rob Walker===
''a.k.a. The Other Guy With the Glasses''. Doug's older Brother. Helps Doug write the scrips for his videos and occasionally appears as a throwaway character for one of Doug's unnecessarily long jokes. Is more involved with the community than Doug, and appears to be equally as talented in other departments, raising the question of [[laziness|why he doesn't make his own damn videos]].
''a.k.a. The Other Guy With the Glasses''. Doug's older Brother. Helps Doug write the scripts for his videos and occasionally appears as a throwaway character for one of Doug's unnecessarily long jokes. Seems to be an even bigger asshole than Doug and according to one eyewitness account they fight constantly, raising the question of how these two ever manage to get anything done.
[[image:Ma-tinc.png|thumb|left|200px|Bhargav Dronamraju dressed as a very bored Ma-ti]]
===Bhargav Dronamraju===
''a.k.a. M. Night Shyamalan''. Doug's ex-[[Computer Science III|special effects guy]] and formerly a co-owner of TGWTG.com. It should be noted that many of Doug's less popular co-contributors had significantly better special effects before Doug started collecting money for his glorious return, so the Walker brothers aren't alone in being lazy. Bhargav is arguably better known for playing the [[Captain Planet|Ma-Ti]] character in videos made by Doug and for whatever reason several other reviewers, where he repeats that old joke about heart being a dumb power that you've heard a million times. Some time after Doug's fourth web movie, ''To Boldly Flee'', Bhargav disappeared from TGWTG.com completely for some unknown reason.
[[image:malcolm furry suit.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Under 20 pounds of crafting felt, nobody knows you're a nigger.]]


===Bhargav Dronamraju===
===Malcolm Ray===
''a.k.a. M. Night Shyamalan''. Doug's [[Computer Science III|special effects guy]]. It should be noted that many of Doug's less popular co-contributors had significantly better special effects before Doug started collecting money for his glorious return, so the Walker brothers aren't alone in being lazy. Bhargav is arguably better known for playing the [[Captain Planet|Ma-Ti]] character in videos made by Doug and for whatever reason several other reviewers, where he repeats that old joke about heart being a dumb power that you've heard a million times.
''a.k.a The Shuffle Man''. Malcolm is one of the "actors" who started appearing in Doug's videos (As well as Demo Reel, Doug's failed attempt at escaping internet mediocrity) after Doug started putting bigger sketches into them. The only reason anyone gives a fuck about him as opposed to the various other actors is because of his contribution to the only non-forced meme ever to come out of Doug's creations: A scene in Demo Reel features him shouting '''"WE'RE NOT DOING THE SUPERVILLAIN SHUFFLE!"''' just before an awful music video that is likely to get a similar reaction from the viewer. He's also a massive furfag.


{{clear}}
{{clear}}


==Running Gags==
==Running Gags==
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*'''"Of Course!"''' - One of Doug's oldest and most well known running gags. Doug shows a clip of M. Bison from the [[Street Fighter]] movie saying "Of course!" whenever he reviews a movie where the villain seeks world domination. Very frequently used by other TGWTG.com contributors as well as youtubers who wish they could post videos there.
*'''"Of Course!"''' - One of Doug's oldest and most well known running gags. Doug shows a clip of M. Bison from the [[Street Fighter]] movie saying "Of course!" whenever he reviews a movie where the villain seeks world domination. Very frequently used by other TGWTG.com contributors as well as youtubers who wish they could post videos there.
*'''Big Lipped Alligator Moment''' - A term Doug coined to describe out-of-place scenes that have nothing to do with the rest of the movie. The name comes from a scene in ''All Dogs go to Heaven'' but strangely was first used in a review of ''Ferngully''. People on TvTropes [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BigLippedAlligatorMoment LOVE] to use this term, by the way.
*'''Big Lipped Alligator Moment''' - A term Doug coined to describe out-of-place scenes that have nothing to do with the rest of the movie. The name comes from a scene in ''All Dogs go to Heaven'' but strangely was first used in a review of ''Ferngully''. People on TvTropes [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BigLippedAlligatorMoment LOVE] to use this term, by the way. This joke also tends to be used by ThatGuyWithTheGlasses wannabes.
*'''Doug's Gun''' - A prop that Doug used in his review of ''Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue!'' that inexplicably became part of the Nostalgia Critic's image. Even Doug himself isn't really sure how this happened. It's appearances are usually accompanied by lots of screaming and bad special effects.
*'''Doug's Gun''' - A prop that Doug used in his review of ''Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue!'' that inexplicably became part of the Nostalgia Critic's image. Even Doug himself isn't really sure how this happened. It's appearances are usually accompanied by lots of screaming and bad special effects.
*'''Santa Christ''' - Christian [[meme combining]]. Rob Walker wears a Santa hat and beard and puts a blanket on his shoulders and does... Santa things. Doug made him up for one of his [[Christmas]] episodes and continued using him afterward, but the character never contributed to anything, making him completely pointless.
*'''Santa Christ''' - Christian [[meme combining]]. Rob Walker wears a Santa hat and beard and puts a blanket on his shoulders and does... Santa things. Doug made him up for one of his [[Christmas]] episodes and continued using him afterward, but the character never contributed to anything, making him completely pointless.
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*'''Frying The Coke''' - Another term coined by Doug, used when someone makes something that's allegedly so dumb it's awesome. While more forced than the Big Lipped Alligator moment, [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Frying%20the%20Coke it's much less popular].
*'''Frying The Coke''' - Another term coined by Doug, used when someone makes something that's allegedly so dumb it's awesome. While more forced than the Big Lipped Alligator moment, [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Frying%20the%20Coke it's much less popular].
*'''Bat Credit Card''' - A [[trigger]] word for the Nostalgia Critic, inspired by a scene from ''Batman and Robin'' where Batman uses a special credit card with a [[Batman]] logo on it to purchase something. Even Doug himself hates this joke, but his fans won't let him forget.
*'''Bat Credit Card''' - A [[trigger]] word for the Nostalgia Critic, inspired by a scene from ''Batman and Robin'' where Batman uses a special credit card with a [[Batman]] logo on it to purchase something. Even Doug himself hates this joke, but his fans won't let him forget.
*'''Burger King Elephant''' - An idea that he came up with in the Nickcoms episode he reviewed "You Can't Do That On Televison" where in the show whenever someone said "I Don't Know" they'd get slimed. Then he complained about it not making sense and then stated a running gag of whenever he says "Elephant" The Burger King shows up.
*'''Burger King Elephant''' - Doug's attempt at showing how [[Canada|"You Can't do That on Television"]]'s habit of dumping [[semen|slime]] on anyone who says "I don't know" didn't make sense. Whenever Doug says "[[Republican|Elephant]]", an image of The [[Burger King]] pops up.  
*'''"You Know For Kids"''' - This gag comes from whenever Doug watches something intended for children and something scary, violent, or sexual he says this phrase.
*'''"You Know, For Kids!"''' - A phrase Doug says in response to anything sexual, violent, or otherwise illegal that appears in a kid's movie. Very popular among TGWTG wannabes.
*'''"A ''Family'' Film!"''' Same as "You Know, For Kids." His jokes have repeated so much they are repeating each other now.


There are many other jokes that get reused constantly, but most of them aren't even recognizable to anyone who doesn't have a shrine of Doug Walker hidden somewhere.
There are many other jokes that get reused constantly, but most of them aren't even recognizable to anyone who doesn't have a shrine of Doug Walker hidden somewhere.
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==Feud with the Angry Video Game Nerd==
==Feud with the Angry Video Game Nerd==
Less than a month after uploading his first Nostalgia Critic video, Doug made claims that he was being [[harassment|harassed]] by the [[Angry Video Game Nerd]]'s fanbase, already infamous for antagonizing [[amateur|young upstarts]] such as [[Chris Bores]], [[Armake21]], and like [[video game reviewers|1/3 of the people in this article]]. He responded by demanding that The Nerd himself tell his fans to stand down, warning that there would be [[nothing|trouble]] if the harassment continued.
Less than a month after uploading his first Nostalgia Critic video, Doug made claims that he was being [[harassment|harassed]] by the [[Angry Video Game Nerd]]'s fanbase, already infamous for antagonizing [[amateur|young upstarts]] such as [[Chris Bores]], [[Marcus Spiracio]], and like [[video game reviewers|1/3 of the people in this article]]. He responded by demanding that The Nerd himself tell his fans to stand down, warning that there would be [[nothing|trouble]] if the harassment continued.


...There's just one thing. By 2008, the time Doug's first AVGN rant came out, most of the AVGN's fanbase tolerated AVGN clones like Doug and most of them probably didn't even know who Doug was. In all likelihood, Doug and/or Mike Michaud saw the opportunity to gain publicity by staging a feud with the AVGN and just made up an excuse to get James Rolfe's attention.
...There's just one thing. By 2008, the time Doug's first AVGN rant came out, most of the AVGN's fanbase tolerated AVGN clones like Doug and most of them probably didn't even know who Doug was. In all likelihood, Doug and/or Mike Michaud saw the opportunity to gain publicity by staging a feud with the AVGN and just made up an excuse to get James Rolfe's attention.


Amusingly, James initially responded by [[oh ok|doing exactly what the Nostalgia Critic demanded]], and Doug had to make ''a second video'' of himself making even more things up or else the plan would've fallen flat on its face. Luckily for the TGWTG crew, James caught on afterward and was willing to partake in their little [[viral]] stunt. This led to several crossover videos of things such as Doug and James fighting to the death, [[copypasta|Doug, James and a bunch of other nobodies fighting to the death]], and Doug and James reviewing a [[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]] video. The stunt worked and Doug won the hearts of the very people he claimed were harassing him less than a year earlier.
Amusingly, James initially responded by [[oh ok|doing exactly what the Nostalgia Critic demanded]], and Doug had to make ''a second video'' of himself making even more things up or else the plan would've fallen flat on its face. Luckily for the TGWTG crew, James caught on afterward and was willing to partake in their little [[viral]] stunt. This led to several crossover videos of things such as Doug and James fighting to the death, [[copypasta|Doug, James and a bunch of other nobodies fighting to the death]], and Doug and James reviewing a [[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]] video. The stunt worked and Doug won the hearts of the very people he claimed were harassing him less than a year earlier.
It is rumored that more recently Doug and Michaud [[fail|fruitlessly]] attempted to stage a similar feud with [[professional|RedLetterMedia]].


{{clear}}
{{clear}}


[[File:Doug Walker's Yearbook Picture.jpg|thumb|right|Doug's yearbook picture, complete with [[Chris-chan]] glasses and [[fedora]], looking even more like a [[pedophile]] than usual.]]
==Doug the Filmmaker==
[[File:Nostalgia Critic Meets His Fans.jpg|thumb|right|Nostalgia Critic meets his fans.]]
It's most apparent that Doug doesn't know what the fuck he's doing when he attempts to record something more ambitious than just him sitting in front of a white wall. While his videos with James Rolfe at least looked passable thanks to Rolfe, Doug was left on his own for his two year anniversary special "Kickassia" and everything that followed. You can read about Kickassia and the other anniversary films [[kickassia|here]], but make no mistake that Doug played a key role in these movies turning out the way they did. Doug is so clueless as far as filmmaking is concerned, even with the decently sized budgets he usually has, that [http://phelous.com/2012/10/18/phelous/extras-phelous/to-boldly-flee-commentary/ even some of his co-contributors have commented on it.] Do note that TGWTG.com has several contributors with at least ''some'' experience with filmmaking, so the only benefit that comes from having Doug in charge is the ability to see how much of an incompetent buffoon he really is. And Kickassia would only be the beginning.
[[File:nostalgiaIncontinence.jpg|thumb|left|Releasin cont(in)ent once a week.]]
[[File:He Married Her, So You Don't Have To..jpg|thumb|left|Doug, pictured here with his [[fat]], [[ugly]] [[hambeast]] of a wife. He married her, so you don't have to.]]


==Doug Quits His Job==
==Doug vs. Trolling and Criticism==
In 2009, after [[faggot|Doug]] started making $53,000 off of his [[shit|shows]] on ThatGuyWithTheGlasses, on top of making the site $11,000 in donations, he decided that being a [[Chris-Chan|household name and Grade-A celebrity]] meant that he could make possibly the stupidest decision in his life: quit his day job as an illustrator. Because having a steady source of income in an uncertain economy is overrated, right? He may realize what a stupid decision he made when his site [[truth|inevitably fails and goes under, since it has become a bloated and unwatchable mess, teeming with talentless hacks and pathetic manchildren]].
While he's long been accused of [[censoring]] negative comments on his videos, Doug's history with trolling has been somewhat uneventful in comparison to [[Spoony]], a similarly popular reviewer who was also posting videos for TGWTG.com at the time. For whatever reason, he did feel the need to lash out at his trolls and critics a couple of times, sounding about as [[butthurt]] as Spoony usually does.


Common sense dictates that one approach a career change in some manner commensurate with the job security of the target career, and no one would rate [[Internet Celebrity]] as a particularly secure job.  No, in fact, ''most people'' would tend to view it as easily the riskiest fucking job prospect imaginable; consequently, ''most people'' would take careful measures to ensure their old job remains a viable fallback.  Well, ''most people'' don't share Doug's sense of [[USI]], which motivates him to treat the whole affair as though he had just sold [[Failbook|Facebook]], strutting about his soon-to-be-former workplace with camera-weilding Rob in tow, as Doug imagines himself putting it to the man, but actually manages only to annoy and insult his former coworkers.
[[image:doucheyfgsfds.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Doug's opinion of [[you]].]]
===Douchey McNitpick===
What would have otherwise been another boring Nostalgia Critic "Top 11" list became a seemingly unprovoked display of butthurt on Doug's part when Douchey McNitpick, an unflattering troll caricature he created for the episode, popped up to help the Nostalgia Critic admit 11 "f*ck ups" that were made in past reviews. Douchey's "trolling" consisted of him telling the Nostalgia Critic he did something wrong with some lame insult tacked on at the end. This would imply that Doug considers moderately harsh criticism, something that's practically unavoidable on the internet, to be trolling, strongly suggesting that he's either much more sensitive than he lets on, or just doesn't give a fuck about what other people think.
[[Image:Nostalgia_Critic_BAWW.png|thumb|left|We love you, too, Doug.]]


===Doug vs. Encyclopedia Dramatica===
Doug lashed out at "trolls" again in his "A Troll in Central Park" review, a review which, as you might expect, had heavy emphasis on the "troll" part. Encyclopedia Dramatica in particular was briefly mentioned in this review, causing commenters to giggle like schoolgirls because they're all even more sensitive than Doug and think ED is literally worse than [[Hitler]].
{{quote|Something that amuses me about the TGWTG page - the immense amount of butthurt over a joke in A Troll In Central Park. The joke was included in a gigantic wall of text that was on the screen for maybe a second, yet they're whining like babies. I always have to laugh at how defensive people on ED get over jabs at ED. It's surprising how fragile the feelings are on a site that's like 90% goatse.|[[Retard|Rebochan]], jizzing himself over ED's original three sentence response to Doug's callout.}}


{{clear}}


<center><youtube>pZ-Sy11mvZU</youtube></center>
=="The Room" Review==
[[File:Tommyfairusetgwtg.jpg|thumb|left|What a story, John from theroommovie.com!]]
[[File:Tommy Wiseau.jpg|thumb|145px|Tommy Wiseau,<br><br>An innocent actor/director,<br>harassed and bullied by Doug<br>and his TGWTG fantards.]]
[[Image:NostalgiacriticTheTommyWiseauShow.jpg|thumb|left|Oh hai Encyclopedia Dramatica. As you can see, I'm totally not [[butthurt]]. This is why I make [[Fourth_wall#What_the_FUCK_does_this_have_to_do_with_the_internet|Tommy Wiseau Show]]!]]
Doug's plan to hide from the evils of copyright law on [[blip]] worked for quite some time, but eventually [[the man]] came to ruin Doug's day once more. This time it was Doug's review of ''[[The Room]]'', which he was forced to pull down after receiving threats of a lawsuit from [[lawyer|John from theroommovie.com]]. In retaliation, Doug posted a video titled "The Tommy Wiseau Show", where he attempts to humiliate John and actor/director Tommy Wiseau, but unsurprisingly comes off as extremely butthurt instead. Nevertheless, fans were eager to help Doug get his review back and defended it by claiming it was protected by [[fair use]]. However, it's never really specified ''how''. The obvious argument is that it's a review, but as previously stated Doug's videos are useless as reviews. It could be argued that it counts as [[parody]], but you would really need to stretch the definition of parody as his reviews contain a [[spoiler]]-filled synopsis and most of his jokes don't really parody anything.


<center>'''Doug Walker: even fucking obnoxious in real life.'''</center>
Doug's fanboys harassed John by sending him [[hate mail]], calling him a retard for not agreeing with the idea that Doug's review was protected by fair use, and [[irony|calling Tommy Wiseau a hack for making a bad movie]]. In response the email link on theroommovie.com was taken down. That's it. While Doug did eventually get permission to put the video back up, it was in no way thanks to [[assholes|these wonderful people]]. The only thing they accomplished was proving that Doug's fans were as bad as the [[imaginary]] AVGN fanboys that attacked Doug back in 2008. So how did Doug get to put his review back up on TGWTG.com, then? Well, a couple of [[fatass]]es recorded themselves asking a clearly apathetic Tommy if Doug could post the video, and [[whatever|Tommy said yes, forgetting they ever existed immediately afterwards]]. Mission accomplished.


Of course, it's not like he can ever get a real job again, since he burnt as many bridges as he could while quitting. No sane employer will hire somebody with a video like this haunting them. Let's hope that his current job as being an unfunny hack lasts!
<center>Here's a few of the letters that were sent to John:


==January: Shitty Gimmick Month==
{{morphquote|mqtgwtg|background-color:white;|font-weight: bold;
[[Image:NostalgiaCriticSequelMonth.gif|thumb|left|250px|This man used to be employed as a fucking artist.]]
|Oh hi, John from The Room Movie Dot Com.
How are you doing? Probably angry because of all the hate-mail you're getting. I have the solution! Your movie would make much more money if the review was still up, because in the end of it, the Nostalgia Critic tells the viewers to actually watch the movie! You'd get much more people at the screenings that way. I highly recommend that you allow the Nostalgia Critic to keep his review, or you will pay.. You will pay.
|His mouth probably hurts from sucking cock too hard
|I think your parents were either inbred or you got dropped on your head as an infant to not only act in (horribly I might add), direct and write such an atrocious movie as "The Room", but to claim copyright infringement on a satirical review. Not only was the review funny, it is also protected by the same laws that you claimed it violated. The only reason it got deleted was because the administrators of the site probably didn't know enough about copyright law. Now that I think of it I should probably have you sued for bodily damage (I almost needed eye surgery) and mental anguish due to watching "The Room". You sir, are a total and utter fuck-up and the internet will always prevail. That I can guarantee you.
|Clinically retarded from watching The Room. It shows.
|"Oh, hi! John from the room movie dot com.


The New Year is very good at bringing out the very worst of the Nostalgia Critic, for every January Doug devotes an entire month to something specific and completely fucks the whole thing up less than halfway through. In 2009 he declared January to be "[[Nickelodeon]] Month". What you may not realize is that although the Nostalgia Critic's cutoff date is 2000, [[I don't watch TV|he stopped watching cartoons somewhere in the early-mid 90s]], which means he's devoted an entire month to talking about a tiny fraction of Nickelodeon's 20+ year history. He did have the courtesy to do some research on a few of Nick's mid 90s shows like ''Hey Arnold'' and ''Kenan & Kel'', and by research we mean he watched a single episode on [[youtube]] and just made assumptions about what the other episodes were like. For the self proclaimed voice of [[manchildren]] everywhere, Doug certainly doesn't pay much attention to what happens to the things he grows up with, does he?
How's it going? Probably not that great right now because of all the angry emails about the Nostalgia Critic's review of "the room" being taken down because you guys claimed copyright infringement. Well, I'm here to help! Firstly, you should know that he (the Nostalgia Critic) does not need to ask for your permission, nor does he need to pay you any sort of fees, because he reviewed your movie. It's covered under fair use, which I quote here: "Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use."


One year later, he declared January to be [[Arnold Schwarzenegger|Schwarzenegger month]]. If you're not aware, Doug has a strange obsession with trashing every movie The Governator has ever appeared in and saying he's the worst actor in history, so he basically devoted an entire month to something he already talks about all the fucking time. In his attempts to find the perfect example of how [[Irony|Arnold is an untalented hack]], he instead ended up showing how bad Doug himself is at being [[wit]]ty when he doesn't have the opportunity to use his running gags and drawn out jokes by reviewing ''Junior'', a movie so uneventful that Doug had to devote a large portion of the review to pretending to [[vomit]] for 5 minutes and later doing a completely unrelated dream sequence in which he sings about how [[boring]] the movie is. It is easily the worst Nostalgia Critic review Doug's ever made, being one of the few to actually receive a negative reaction from fans. He then [[Godwin's Law|compared the people who disliked the review to Hitler]] in a [[Downfall]] parody. He also reviewed ''Conan the Barbarian'' that month, probably the most recognizable movie he's reviewed in 2010. One wonders when he'll finally be pushed to the point where he reviews ''Terminator'' out of desperation and triggers the mother of all backlashes.
This means that he does not need any legal or moral clearance from you in order to review "The Room." Now, to resolve all of this hate mail I'm sure you're getting, you are truly better off not lodging any copyright claims against him, because, if this were to go to court, you would most surely loose any legal battle, not to mention money. But that aside, letting him keep the review up is actually good business for YOU! Yes, it is! For, you see, he actually tells people to go watch the movie! This is what you would call a free advertisement! Now, you can do what you want, but the Nostalgia Critic is most likely going to dispute your copyright claims, in which case you will loose, according to the "fair use" clause I provided you above.|
How cute, the [[fanboy|fantard]] thinks it's a lawyer!}}</center>
{{clear}}<br />


January of 2011 was dedicated to [[Electric Boogaloo|sequels]] starting with ''The Neverending Story III''. Since he has long since stopped giving a fuck, the reviews are, of course, terrible. Keep it up, Doug!
[[File:Doug Walker's Yearbook Picture.jpg|thumb|right|Doug's yearbook picture, complete with [[Chris-chan]] glasses and [[fedora]], looking even more like a [[pedophile]] than usual.]]
 
[[File:Nostalgia Critic Meets His Fans.jpg|thumb|right|Nostalgia Critic meets his fans.]]
==Doug Walker's Voice==
[[File:nostalgiaIncontinence.jpg|thumb|left|Releasin cont(in)ent once a week.]]
If there's one thing about Doug that makes him stand out from other [[Video Game Reviewers|internet reviewers]], it's his voice. Doug's voice can best be described as being similar to what the [[Angry German Kid]] would sound like if he were passing a kidney stone while being castrated. The eardrum-shattering noise that comes out of Doug's mouth is so horrifyingly unpleasant that [[some argue|some believe]] he has the most unbearable voice on the internet. Doug, on the other hand, [[masochist|can't seem to get enough of hearing himself]]. About one and a half minutes into every Nostalgia Critic review he starts talking in [[ALL CAPS]] and stays that way for the remainder of the video. He's also been compared to [[Seth MacFarlane]] for his tendency to [[DO NOT WANT|break out into song at inappropriate times.]]
{{quote|It's much funnier when he sounds whiny and pathetic...|Doug Walker, making us all deaf for his own amusement.}}
All the shouting Doug does isn't just unpleasant to hear, it's hurting him too. Doug's screaming has caused him to [[LOLWUT|throw out his voice three times in less than two years since he started reviewing shitty movies.]] He's had to do several reviews completely mute, with the help of things like [http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/4548-good-son captions, signs,] and [http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/11343-alone Microsoft Sam] (because it's not like he can just wait to get better, right?) Like Spoony or Sean Fausz and their [[fat|expanding waistlines]], Doug hasn't taken his declining health as a possible reason to change his lifestyle, [[retard|he always comes back shouting as if his throat had never been better]]. Massive [[lulz]] are expected on the day that Doug does permanent damage to his throat and finally realizes that [[obvious|screaming at the top of his lungs for more than 30 minutes straight every week may not have been the best idea.]]


==Doug Walker vs. Encylopedia Dramatica==
==Failed Let's Play Attempt==
[[Image:Nostalgia_Critic_BAWW.png|thumb|left|We love you, too, Doug.]]
In September of 2011 Doug made an attempt to expand into doing [[let's play]]s, presumably under the assumption that [[unrealistic expectations|since he already does commentary in the form of reviews, he should easily be able to do commentary in the form of let's plays]]. So, he grabbed a copy of ''[[Simpsons|Bart's Nightmare]]'' for the SNES and recorded himself commentating in character as the Nostalgia Critic. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7v3znAzhU-c This] was the result. Doug stumbles around trying to do improvised commentary on a game that he isn't good at and doesn't provide him with anything to make jokes about. For over half an hour. Of course he could've talked about the gameplay or about the various characters and settings that appear in the game, but that's not what the Nostalgia Critic does. The video got an unusually negative reaction: while there were, as always, fans willing to call it perfect, many others practically begged Doug never to make another Let's Play again. They got their wish, but at a cost...
[[File:TGWTG Forums Fans.jpg|thumb|right|A re-enactment of the ED thread on the TGWTG forums.]]


In the Nostalgia Critic's [[Shit nobody cares about|review of A Troll In Central Park]] he makes a comment in an [[BAWW|attempt to retaliate]] against the [[Truth|claims of unfunniness]] made against him by [[ED]]. His faggot fanboys [[BJ|agreed with him in the comment section]] calling all ED users "big mean doodie poo poo heads." <s>A dramatican late to the party linked to this article and said "[[NO U]]."</s> Apparently admins are butthurt too because they baleeted it, but that [[Chris-chan|zany character]] is going to [[Forced Meme|keep reposting it]] until [[B&]] or they stop [[Delete fucking everything|deleting]] it.  [[NO|Will lulz ensue?]]
===Doug Walker's fanbase vs. Retsupurae===
 
Doug's crappy let's play was quickly brought to the attention of [[Retsupurae]], who commentated over the video for their (slightly) less [[cancerous]] fanbase.
But it's not just Douglas whose upset with us at ED,  [http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=7822 Their viewers are also distraught at our descriptions of their graven idols].
 
{{quote|Something that amuses me about the TGWTG page - the immense amount of butthurt over a joke in A Troll In Central Park. The joke was included in a gigantic wall of text that was on the screen for maybe a second, yet they're whining like babies. I always have to laugh at how defensive people on ED get over jabs at ED. It's surprising how fragile the feelings are on a site that's like 90% goatse.|[[Retard|Rebochan]],  Live from Mirror-World,  first left from Irony-Ville.<br>Also, it's closer to 98%. Get it right, retard.}}
 
{{clear}}
 
=="The Room" Review==
[[image:Tommyfairusetgwtg.jpg|thumb|right|Tommy Wisau's reaction to Doug's [[rage]].]]
[[image:Rizzo_tweets.png|thumb|left|Fucking [[hypocrites]].]]
Sometime on a Tuesday in July, the [[Channel Awesome|Lultastic Avenger]] strikes again. A while ago, maybe on a Sunday, the Nostalgia Critic's [[fail|award-winning masterpiece]] review of [[Shit nobody cares about|The Room]] was taken down from the site due to threats of a lawsuit from [[fag|John from TheRoomMovie.com]] due to copyright infringement. In [[BAWW|retaliation]], the Doug's [[Shit nobody cares about|latest masterpiece]] has him pretending to be [[Chris-chan|Tommy Wiseau]], some French faggot who directed [[Shit nobody cares about|The Room]]. He [[BAWW|totally supports his innocence]] by trying to be lulzy ala blasting Wiseau and John, and ultimately proves to be as funny as [[Fag|Carlos Mencia]]. Upon hearing their mighty hero's ego wounded and eager to suck cock, the [[fantard|fanboys]] were called to battle, <s>brandishing the Internets to battle the evildoers who wronged [[Jesus|Their Lord]] by writing [[BAWW|angry letters]]</s> Apparently, the email link was taken down on the site because of the mass flood of butthurt from [[Carlos Mencia|The Nostalgia Critic's]] fanboys. But alas, [[Shit nobody cares about|nobody gave a flying fuck.]] The butthurt [[fantard|fantards]] also tried to write about this event on Wikipedia, but their stories have been removed by the admins. [[BAWW|CRY SUMMOAR.]] What should be noted is that TGWTG's founder, Mike Michaud, never said anything to Doug about how [[butthurt|butthurt]] he is coming off as, nor did he tell his chosen [[manchild]] that he could potentially [[an hero|kill Channel Awesome]].
 
{{clear}}
 
==Doug Fails Miserably at Let's Play==
 
On Tuesday, September 6th, Doug Walker posted a video titled "Let's Play Bart's Nightmare".  It went like this.
 
<center>
<youtube>7v3znAzhU-c</youtube>
</center>
 
If you feel your senses struggling to self-terminate, that's good.  It means you're a human being with a shred of taste.  The video received the lowest possible rating on thatguywiththeglasses.com, which is to say a 3.5 out of 5.  It wasn't long before [[Retsupurae]] got their hands on it and bravely decided to watch the ''entire'' video and record their reactions.


<center>
<center>
Line 153: Line 171:
<center>http://blip.tv/slowbeef/retsupurae-vs-the-nostalgia-critic-5535142</center>
<center>http://blip.tv/slowbeef/retsupurae-vs-the-nostalgia-critic-5535142</center>


As expected, their honest commentary on exactly what makes Doug terrible and unfunny was met by anger and outrage by Nostalgia Critic's drooling mongoloid fanbase.
Some fans admittied that the let's play was deserving of criticism. Others were infuriated, demanding to know why two random [[haters]] had the right to criticize Doug's let's play, most of them unaware of the fact that the two "haters" were both let's players with a youtube channel full of similar commentaries. In the end the efforts of Doug's fanbase were once again in vain, as Doug himself ended up admitting that the video was bad and even apologizing for it. Even that wasn't enough reason to stop for some fans, though, as evidenced by the fact that Retsupurae's video still gets angry comments years later. In addition, one can sense a hint of butthurt in Doug's apology when he, once again, labels his critics as petty whiners.
 
The backlash eventually became so great that Doug "apologized" by making a review of some shitty movie based on some shitty book or something. This could have been acceptable as an "apology" by TGWTG fans if Doug had not again labelled his critics as whiny retards. Whether Doug had refused to admit his fuckups as a result of a slip of well-hidden cutzpah or just blatant stupidity is unsure, but the former is highly unlikely.
 
Ladies and gents, we give you; the brill comments concerning the worst 'Let's Play' ever made:


<center>{{morphquote|mqtest3|background-color:white;|font-weight: bold;|I like the part where he swore and screamed. Contextless profanity is a cornerstone of decent comedy. Truly this man is a witty comedic genius.|Are you daring to question the Critic's genius with sarcasm? '''STONE HIM'''|This was brutally unfunny and boring.|'''STONE HIM TOO'''|I love how so many people are saying that this video isn't that bad, and yet the person who uploaded this disabled the ratings system.|Criticism? What's that?|'People like to see me get tortured' - So before you bitch about this, remember this, it was YOU lol'd the first time and video game reviews was on demand since then. Basically, YOU asked for this and now you bitch about it. So yeah think about that.|
<center>{{morphquote|mqtest3|background-color:white;|font-weight: bold;|I like the part where he swore and screamed. Contextless profanity is a cornerstone of decent comedy. Truly this man is a witty comedic genius.|Are you daring to question the Critic's genius with sarcasm? '''STONE HIM'''|This was brutally unfunny and boring.|'''STONE HIM TOO'''|I love how so many people are saying that this video isn't that bad, and yet the person who uploaded this disabled the ratings system.|Criticism? What's that?|'People like to see me get tortured' - So before you bitch about this, remember this, it was YOU lol'd the first time and video game reviews was on demand since then. Basically, YOU asked for this and now you bitch about it. So yeah think about that.|
Line 163: Line 177:
{{clear}}
{{clear}}


==The [[Lie|end of the Nostalgia Critic]] and [[Jew_Gold|other lulz]]==
==The end of the Nostalgia Critic (Except Not)==
[[Last_Thursday|Recently]], Doug attempted to ditch his character [[Faggot|the Nostalgia Critic]] and try new [[Shit|things]]. However, his [[Retards|fans]], being insecure, whiny fucks who [[Autism|hate the idea of changing a regular, comforting formula]], threw a collective bitch-fit, "causing" Doug's new crap to [[Fail|flop]]. Though, to be fair, that crap deserved to flop anyways. Butthurt, Doug gave in to demands and [[Jew|returned to the show that was making him the most money]], his [[Old_meme|material]] now [[Unfunny|shittier]] and [[TGWTG|pointless cameo-littered]] than ever. Of course, [[LOL|the fans love it]].
Doug announced that he was leaving TGWTG.com after he realized that making asinine synopses for a website that's well past its prime wasn't going to make him a famous actor. After spending a ton of money on new actors (apparently Rob wasn't good enough anymore) and recording equipment he produced Demo Reel, a piss-poor hybrid of ''This Is Spinal Tap'', ''Ed Wood'', and the ''Scary Movie'' sequels. Unsurprisingly, it sucked. With very little support from anyone (most of Doug's fans were too caught up with the Nostalgia Critic ending to pay attention. Moreover his socially retarded aspie, [[13 year old |middle schooler]] fan base [[obvious|has no money]]), it quickly became apparent that Demo Reel wasn't going to get Doug anywhere, so he gave up and went back to doing the Nostalgia Critic. Doug wasn't finished trying to show off his acting skills, though, as the new Nostalgia Critic features plenty of painful, nigh unwatchable sketches that are barely related to what he's reviewing and waste even more time than his excessively long jokes.  


Recognizing a good [[Jew_Gold|opportunity]] when he saw one, and probably [[offended]] that his other [[Crap|projects]] failed so hard, Doug decided to do an [[AVGN]] and set up a fundraiser where [[fanboys]] could donate moneyz to his <s>retirement fund</s> show for shitty, worthless "prizes." Fortunately for him, his fans were moronic enough to believe that [[Bullshit|someone who earns over $1,000,000 a year off needed their help to buy recording equipment]], so the donations came flying in. They wanted to upgrade to an SDI workflow, which would help achieve a better quality, faster. This would be all well and good, if they used a platform that supported the higher bitrate from SDI. Something Blip.TV doesn't do. On a more [[lulzy]] note, although Doug managed to reach his goal of [[Over_9000|$50,000]], he was hoping to get [[Greedy|at least $1,000,000]], but "only" ended up getting just under $90,000. This may seem like a lot, but when you consider that the Angry Video Game [[Jew|Nerd]] made over $325,000, you can't help but [[LOL|chuckle]] a little. How's that [[Unrealistic_expectations|"rivalry"]] working out now, Doug?
It doesn't help that the Nostalgia Critic character has been dramatically sissified to the point of annoyance, where instead of being the raging psychopath with an inflated ego, he has now turned into an “all knowing”, “overly sympathetic”, and “perfect human” being who [[nu-male|supports feminism]] and copyright to further expand Doug's inflated ego. The unwatchable skits portrays the critics worthless opinion on media as fact, while anybody that happens to like said product is shown as stupid, evil, nerds with no life, and anti feminist's who worship Michael Bay (See Mad Ex-lax: Faggy Road "Review" to see his one sided social views at their worst), while the actual filmmakers are shown to be antagonistic creatures, particularly Michael Bay & Zack Snyder despite being unwarranted in some reviews (once again, Faggy Road skit for reference), who must be stopped for expressing themselves through art. The criticisms he brought up aren't even thought provoking or deep, and just come off as surface level and are repetitively hammered to the ground, even if it's such a minor issue that isn't even that big of a deal, like harping on Eddie Murphy's lifeless shell in "The Mishaps of Pluto Passionate Sex" for calling an "attractive lady" flat assed, which makes you realize that he has never even took basic critic classes in his life.


{{quote|We think we're pretty awesome -- but that's only because our fans are awesome!|Now let us show our gratitude by charging you $500 for a 30-minute [[Skype]] call!}}
<center><youtube>gJbeln4loR8</youtube></center>
<center>'''Not since the likes of [[Yahtzee#GameDamage|GameDamage]] has an internet critic driven his ambitions into the ground so quickly'''</center>


So, what do you get for donating your [[Welfare|hard-earned]] money to this [[Asshole|wonderful young man]], you might ask? Well, just feast your eyes on [[Shit|this]]!


'''$5: <s>Forgot International Shipping</s> Fuck-all:'''
===Funding the New Nostalgia Critic===
If [[Retard|you]] ordered [[Shit|something]] that requires shipping costs but were too busy fapping to an NC episode to remember to pay the shipping, you can do so separately here. Aw, [[Lie|that's so nice]]~
Early in 2013 Doug started an Indiegogo campaign to make up for all the money that was blown on Demo Reel. This time, the money would be going into the new Nostalgia Critic series, along with whatever he still had leftover from Demo Reel (including the actors.) The campaign also featured absurdly overpriced backer rewards, demanding hundreds of dollars for varying degrees of brief acknowledgement. When you have Doug's fan base, however, it doesn't really matter, as they'll happily fund anything Doug makes as long as it gets posted on TGWTG.com and isn't a let's play. The campaign made $90,000, which amazingly was only 1/11th of what Doug hoped he would get. Nevertheless, it was above the $50,000 goal so it would do.


'''$10: <s>Thank You!</s> Fuck-all, again:'''
So what exactly did all that money go to? Your guess is as good as anyone's. Doug and Rob are so bad at making their videos not look like crap that you can't even tell what's new and what's been recycled from Demo Reel and the old Nostalgia Critic videos. The biggest difference is the actors, who as previously stated are leftover from Demo Reel and aren't ''that'' big of an improvement over Rob and Bhargav.
A crappy video Doug made <s>collectively for everyone who was stupid enough to give him $10.00</s> especially for you. You also get to be on a list no one will ever read.


'''$25: Autographed Photo:'''
===Pop Quiz Hotshot===
An autographed photo of [[Loser|Doug]], as well as [[Who|Rob, Malcom and Rachel]]. No, seriously, [[Noone|who are those other people]]? Regardless, you can get the same thing for much cheaper [http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_trksid=p2050601.m570.l1313.TR0.TRC0.Xtoilet+paper&_nkw=toilet+paper&_sacat=0&_from=R40 here].
"Pop Quiz Hotshot" is essentially a partially [[aborted]] leftover from the 2013 NC "reboot" taking the form of a cheap-as-fuck 80s-themed game show. Much like Demo Reel, nobody really wanted this, but because there was no threat of the Nostalgia Critic ending this time, nobody really cared either. In it, unenthusiastic co-contributor Brad Jones (who for some reason is the host), plays a [[typical]] Doug Walker character, who uses his [[Kony|african warlord friend]] to force two barely responsive guys to answer questions, play the cheapest games imaginable, and then fight the Nostalgia Critic (yes, Doug's in character too) at the end. It's so cheap that hardly anyone believes that this got more than a tiny fraction of Doug's indiegogo money.
<center><youtube>klPkGfHAxqU</youtube></center>


'''$50: Behind the Scenes Access!:'''
==Doug Returns to Youtube==
No, you don't actually get to go behind the scenes and watch the [[Shit|show]] being made. They just email you links to it, which you can then share on [[Pirate Bay]] for the [[Lulz|win]].
As Mike and the Walker bros' blip-based empire began to crumble over the course of 2013 and 2014 it became impossible to ignore the issues with TGWTG.com, and Doug '''''finally''''' gave up on his ridiculous feud with YouTube and started posting his videos on Channel Awesome's new YouTube account (Originally a channel called "[[wut|The League of Super Critics]]", but now just Channel Awesome). With TGWTG.com (which was also rebranded as Channel Awesome) becoming redundant and Blip shutting down completely, CA's focus has since shifted to it's YouTube account. As one might expect, this has substantially boosted their viewership and provided them with effectively free promotions via Youtube's completely idiotic recommendation system. This sounds great for Doug, but the benefits could've been even greater if he hadn't waited so fucking long, as evidenced by co-contributor [[Angry Joe]], who created a YouTube account ''before'' his career plateaued and went on to become the most successful person to have ever been associated with TGWTG/CA. Missing such an opportunity would be forgivable if it wasn't so easy to see blip's downfall coming.


'''$100: Limited DVD & T-Shirt:'''
===[[hashtag|#WTFU]]===
You get a limited edition (as in, one of only 750) [[Shit_no_one_cares_about|DVD and T-shirt]]. For bonus points, wear the T-shirt in public and tell people how much you paid for it. They'll all be super-jealous, really! [[It_is_a_mystery|For some reason]], only just under 150 [[Fanboys|people]] bothered to buy this, which makes one wonder [[Fire|what happened to the rest]].
By 2015, copyright-related issues on Youtube were resulting in more complaints than ever, mainly surrounding the [[robot|automated system]] designed to handle the ever-growing number of copyright claims and content-id matches videos have been getting, though also some more severe issues such as [[assassination|entire channels disappearing without warning]]. No longer able to receive Blip's protection, Doug contributed to this resistance with #WTFU, short for "where's the fair use?". Doug quickly gathered support from youtubers big and small, and has become a leading figure in the fight to get YouTube to start giving a shit about all this.


'''$200: Voicemail Greeting:'''
The problem is that there's no easy fix for what's going on. Manually checking every copyright claim and every content-id match would be a slow and expensive process, especially since it would mainly benefit a group of people that are becoming increasingly expendable from YouTube's perspective. Also, the only time YouTube itself would absolutely ''need'' to be conscious of fair use is if they were the ones making a copyright claim or taking someone's ad revenue. Otherwise, while it may speed things up somewhat, it isn't necessarily their responsibility. Regardless of these issues, Doug stands to gain from his #WTFU campaign even if nobody else does (which is most likely what will happen), ironically making copyright responsible for the biggest promotion Doug's gotten since the AVGN feud.
[[Porn|Within reason]], Doug will record you your very own voice mail greeting or small video. When your [[Noone|friends]] call you and get said voice mail, they'll think you're BFFs with the man himself... until you confess that [[LOL|you paid $200 to get it]].


'''$250: Sketch by Doug:'''
==Lardass lays it down on Doug Walker==
You thought the commissions on Deviant Art could be [[Rip-off|expensive]]? If you feel like paying $250 for a medicore sketch that you could get from someone else for $10, then this perk is for [[Retard|you]]!


'''$450: Site Linkage:'''
<center><youtube>bC3NIdiZF_E</youtube></center>
Your site or blog will be linked with the [[TGWTG|big guys]] <s>forever</s> for a whole two months! Just imagine how impressed everyone will be when you tell them you spent almost $500 to get plugged for two months! People will be flocking to your shitty [[Geocities]] site [[Lie|for years to come]]!


'''$500: Skype Call with Doug and Rob:'''
<center><youtube>xFlgx2LTdeY</youtube></center>
Pay $500 to talk to Doug and his brither you don't care about of for a whole thirty minutes! Slightly less of a rip off than the "meet & greet" sessions at [[conventions]], but not by much. But don't worry! Once you've paid them to talk to you for that half hour, they'll be so impressed by your [[Fanboy|charming wit]] and <s>kiss-assery</s> constructive insight, they'll want to become best friends with you for real! Just make sure you're [[Jew_Gold|properly funded]], and you can <s>pretend to</s> be best friends with them every weekend! After all, it's not like [[No_friends|you'll have anything else to do on those days]].


For everyone else, keep an eye out on Youtube for "my call with Doug Walker" videos, and [[Troll|act accordingly]] when you find some.
The truth?


'''$750: Screen Your Show:'''
<center><youtube>7d8n3DbAcZc</youtube></center>
Doug and [[Shit_no_one_cares_about|Rob]] will watch your shitty rip-off of the [[Nostalgia Critic]] on Skype, pretend to like it and [[An_hero|give you tips]].


'''$1,250: Super Promotion!:'''
TL;DR, Doug Walker gets upset that Studio Ghibli took down his video review of ''My Neighbor Totoro''.
Doug will promote your shitty show at the end of one of his Nostalgia Critic episodes. Keep in mind that just about everyone who watches will know how much you paid to get this promotion, and those who aren't laughing at your stupidity will completely ignore the plug. Money well spent, [[No|right]]?


'''$1,500: Tour our Studio:'''
For two videos worth of garbage, Jason Pullara reveals that they had plenty of time (fucking SEVERAL YEARS' WORTH) to slap Doug upside the head to knock the sense that, "maybe people will realize that your work is shitty edited snark over a Cliff Notes retelling of a movie and you should do something about this before they take down your work like a bitch". Not only that, Channel Assload is pretty dumb to sell DVDs of their re edited bullshit, and it's only up to time to tell when they will get fucked up the ass with an iron spiked dildo and dragged into the depths of hell and all of its stinking heated fecal glory.
Tour Doug's studio and get a bunch of shitty DVDs out of the deal. You'll have to arrange your own travel costs and lodging, but it's all worth it when you [[Lie|get to be a part of]] the [[Shit|greatest]] show ever made!


'''$2,000: Watch Doug film the NC:'''
Don't hesitate to overlap Jason's commentary with what Doug is talking about either. Doug even has the gall to say that he's sticking up for the little people when in reality he charged $1,500 on his shitty Indiegogo campaign which earned you a tour of his empty warehouse in Chicago, travel expenses not covered on their end.
Watch Doug film his fast-declining [[Crap|magnum opus]]. [[Orgasm|Squeal with glee]] as you get to watch him <s>pile on outtakes</s> [[HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS]], [[Fact|the Nostalgia Critic show only has one take]], yell at his extras and get drunk onset to help him cope with the growing depression of being a washed up [[internet celebrity]]. Oh, and like before, you'll have to pay your own way there. Be sure to cash in those extra Welfare checks soon!


'''$3,500: Lunch with Us!:'''
[[Unrealistic expectations|Good luck convincing your user base to give you another 90k!]]
Spend $3,500 to have lunch with Doug, Rob, and some other losers (if requested). Granted, there are probably [[Jews|restaurants]] in Lombard that charge that much, but if you think Doug [[LOL|will be spending your money on having a good time with you]], think again. Likely as not, you'll get a quick, cheap "treat" from him in a local McDonald's, then abandoned as Doug and his real friends laugh at your [[Stupidity|naivety]]. Also, again, you'll have to pay your own way there and back, which, when combined with the $3,500 [[Jew|Doug]] wants for his time, will probably add up to the price of a decent car or a down-payment on a flat. But why waste <s>your</s> the government's money on stupid stuff like that when you can waste it on this instead?


'''$6,500: Be in a NC episode!:'''
==Gallery==
Be in an episode of the Nostalgia Critic, for the [[LOL|very reasonable]] price of $6,500 (and also tour the studio and eat a cheap lunch). When people see you in the episode, wonder who you are and google your name, only to find out you're not [[E-fame|important]] enough to be in a [[Shit|NC episode]], they'll soon realize you paid thousands of dollars for the cameo (then again, considering the stupidity of the majority of the [[Fanboys|viewers]] on TGWTG, you might be in the clear). But those who ''do'' figure it out will be really impressed and jealous, and knowing you bought your way to recognition will give people nothing but respect and admiration for your [[Shit|work]]! You'll be the [[Lulz|talk]] of their town for the next decade! Like before, you have to pay for your own travel costs and lodging in edition to everything else, but hell, if you're willing to flush this much money down the toilet, a few thousand more shouldn't be a big deal.
<center><gallery perrow="3">
File:He Married Her, So You Don't Have To..jpg|He Married It, So You Don't Have to
File:NC shirtless1.jpeg|Check out that six-pack
File:Doug Walker's Yearbook Picture.jpg|Doug, sporting his pedo-face
File:TGWTGfantasy.jpg|We all do
File:Nostalgia Critic BAWW.png|We love you too, Doug.
File:Nostalgia Critic Meets His Fans.jpg|[[porn|Shadbase]] speaking the truth.
File:Doug walker aaa.png
File:Criticscary.png
image:Rizzo_tweets.png
File:Caspernc.jpg
File:Doug walker main.jpg
File:Doug Cant Spell His Employees Names.jpg|Malcolm not Malcom you racist dyslexic fat fuck
File:NostalgiaCriticSequelMonth.gif
File:Critic 10 donuts.png
File:Doug walker classy.jpg
File:Dw fgsfds.jpg
File:Nostalgia-1.gif
File:Thenostalgiacritic.JPG
File:Nostalgia chris.jpg
</gallery></center>


==External Links==
==External Links==
* [http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses All of Doug's work]
* [http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses All of Doug's work]
* [http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/forums/ TGWTG forum]
* [http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/forums/ TGWTG forum]
* <s>[http://thebusystreet.com/ Some guys who hate Doug even more than we do]</s> DEAD
* [http://i.imgur.com/NjNZ3.png Nightmare fuel for the next week]
* [http://i.imgur.com/NjNZ3.png Nightmare fuel for the next week]


==See Also==
==See Also==
* [[That Guy With The Glasses]] &ndash; The website, not the character or the guy this article is about  
* [[That Guy With The Glasses]] &ndash; The website, not the character or the guy this article is about  
* [[The Spoony Experiment]] &ndash; Basically Doug with a few extra braincells and bipolar disorder
* [[Angry Video Game Nerd]] &ndash; Without whom the Nostalgia Critic would've likely fallen flat on its face.
* [[Linkara]] &ndash; Frequently cameos in Nostalgia Critic reviews
* [[Aspies]] Most of his fanbase
* [[Angry Video Game Nerd]]
* [[FanFic Critic]] &ndash; TGWTG wannabe who nightly frigs her clit to this douche.
* [[Fair use]] &ndash; Something Doug doesn't understand
* [[SaturnDOS]] Constantly stalked, threatened, and harassed him for his [[#Hashtag|#WTFU movement]].
* [[FanFic Critic]] - TGWTG wannabe who nightly frigs her clit to this douche.
* [[Retsupurae]]
* [[The Room]]
* [[Manchild]]
* [[Manchild]]
* [[Lolcow]]
* [[Lolcow]]

Latest revision as of 22:19, 4 April 2022

Did You Know: This article was left partially vandalized for several years and nobody noticed.

That's how little people care about Doug nowadays.


   
 
Well, I don't know much about (media Nostalgia Critic is to review here), but let's take a look and find out.
 

 
 

—Said when NC reviews anything, ever

Doug Walker
Powerword: Douglas Darrien Walker
Nationality: Italian-American
Gender: Male
Occupation: Actor, comedian, YouTuber, filmmaker, writer
Years active: 2007-present
Website: Manchildcave
JewTube channel


Douglas Darrien Walker (a.k.a. The Nostalgia Critic) is a self-proclaimed actor, comedian, YouTuber, writer, and filmmaker who became a minor lolcow due to his stunning incompetence at doing what he calls a career. While he is the most popular contributor to his website, That Guy With The Glasses, his videos are no better than what you'd find on YouTube back in 2008 and aren't even the best TGWTG.com has to offer. In recent years Doug has been involved in several embarrassing incidents, usually the result of him trying to move beyond entertaining 14-year-olds on an increasingly irrelevant website and failing miserably.

He is also said to produce the most annoying sound known to man.

Origins and Fallout with YouTube

Doug, pictured here with his fat, ugly hambeast of a wife. He married her, so you don't have to.

Before co-founding TGWTG.com, Doug was either an illustrator or janitor who made a self-explanatory series of videos on Youtube called "5 Second Movies", allegedly based off of some in-joke he and his friends had about some movie. Hilarious. Eventually one of these videos was taken down due to a copyright claim, which Doug dealt with by deleting his Youtube videos and teaming up with Circuit City employee-turned entrepreneur Mike Michaud and a couple of other nobodies to make his own website.

Doug eventually became successful enough to quit his day job and focus on his work. This is not uncommon for people who make money off of posting videos on The Web, but Doug decided to put on a big show when he quit for the lulz. Of course any potential employer who sees the video he posted probably won't be laughing, so Doug's probably going to be stuck with making videos for TGWTG.com for a long, long time.

What a rebel.
Doug Walker, wondering where his hair went

The Nostalgia Critic

Critic's voice sample about you


The Nostalgia Critic became Doug's main routine after his fallout with Youtube. Originally, he reviewed films and television shows from or around his childhood (even if he never watched it himself), but nowadays he'll just review whatever he thinks people will like watching (Including movies not yet on home video just to get that sweet trending add revenue). His "reviews" would be more accurately described as synopses interlaced with occasional criticism and jokes that he spends way too much time on. The videos also last an average of 30 minutes, which is more than twice as long as they need to be. Because he is by far the most popular contributor on the site, Doug is tasked with promoting his co-contributors when they're not doing well; this is done by having them make an unwanted cameo appearance in his newest video where they waste even more of everyone's time. Also, enjoy the ads that he puts in the middle of his videos for extra Blip monies. That aforementioned "occasional criticism", by the way, is rendered completely useless by wildly inconsistent standards and minimal background research. It doesn't help that a lot of his criticism is thinly disguised humor with no regard for anything he's said prior. His obvious prioritization of comedy doesn't even make the videos more funny, since his best jokes are the ones he spends the least amount of time on, and you'd probably be able to get those same jokes in a 10-minute review by any of the 750 other "funny" critics out there.

All in all, The Nostalgia Critic is neither Nostalgic nor is it Criticism. It's just an unnecessarily long comedic routine that isn't really funny.

How to Make a Nostalgia Critic Review

  1. Find a movie that everybody knows about and have already critiqued the hell out of. (ex. Batman & Robin)
  2. Make sure that your review encompasses and completely spoils the entire plot of said movie; after all, since the movie I'm reviewing sucks, it means we have to make sure EVERYBODY knows what happens to they don't watch it!
  3. Add a 5-10 minute skit at the beginning of your "review". Don't forget to add a laugh track for comedic effect!
  4. Nitpick the hell out of said movie. Don't focus on the structure of the writing or development of characters, just bitch about how a character talks or the name of the town they live in!
  5. Be entirely biased and negative throughout. When a film displays any positive qualities, ignore them and continue to nitpick the hell out of the set design or the way the characters dress up.
  6. Add 3-minute skit intermissions between your review. Your skit should be laced with overacting and overly-dramatic music.
  7. ???
  8. PROFIT!!!!

Other Routines

This is the greatest wiki he's ever seen in his life.

Doug has also performed a number of other routines. Most of them were thankfully one-offs but a few stuck around.


  • Ask That Guy - Doug wears a bathrobe and pretends to be a douchebag named That Guy With the Glasses, answering dumb questions from fans in the most offensive way he can think of. Confusingly, Doug also uses "That Guy With the Glasses" as a pseudonym and as the name of his website. He must not be very good with names.
  • Bum Reviews - Doug wears a Stan Marsh hat and pretends to be a homeless drug addict named Chester A. Bum, then bounces around giving a barely comprehensible synopsis of some movie he recently saw with a very brief statement at the time about whether he actually liked the movie or not. Still not actually reviewing.
  • Video Game Confessions - Doug dresses up as a bartender named Dominic and tells stories about various video game characters coming to his imaginary bar and doing embarrassing things while Doug draws rather bland pictures of them. Canon is usually disregarded completely.

Doug's Inner Circle

Most of the people under the TGWTG banner have content of their own (although nobody watches them). These guys, however, have somehow achieved notoriety on the site just by helping Doug make his videos.

Rob Walker

a.k.a. The Other Guy With the Glasses. Doug's older Brother. Helps Doug write the scripts for his videos and occasionally appears as a throwaway character for one of Doug's unnecessarily long jokes. Seems to be an even bigger asshole than Doug and according to one eyewitness account they fight constantly, raising the question of how these two ever manage to get anything done.

Bhargav Dronamraju dressed as a very bored Ma-ti

Bhargav Dronamraju

a.k.a. M. Night Shyamalan. Doug's ex-special effects guy and formerly a co-owner of TGWTG.com. It should be noted that many of Doug's less popular co-contributors had significantly better special effects before Doug started collecting money for his glorious return, so the Walker brothers aren't alone in being lazy. Bhargav is arguably better known for playing the Ma-Ti character in videos made by Doug and for whatever reason several other reviewers, where he repeats that old joke about heart being a dumb power that you've heard a million times. Some time after Doug's fourth web movie, To Boldly Flee, Bhargav disappeared from TGWTG.com completely for some unknown reason.

Under 20 pounds of crafting felt, nobody knows you're a nigger.

Malcolm Ray

a.k.a The Shuffle Man. Malcolm is one of the "actors" who started appearing in Doug's videos (As well as Demo Reel, Doug's failed attempt at escaping internet mediocrity) after Doug started putting bigger sketches into them. The only reason anyone gives a fuck about him as opposed to the various other actors is because of his contribution to the only non-forced meme ever to come out of Doug's creations: A scene in Demo Reel features him shouting "WE'RE NOT DOING THE SUPERVILLAIN SHUFFLE!" just before an awful music video that is likely to get a similar reaction from the viewer. He's also a massive furfag.

Running Gags

ALERT: THESE ARE FORCED MEMES
Doug Walker's Running Gags will be posted by the same
unfunny newfag until you like it.

Doug reuses his jokes. A lot. Whether this is the product of unoriginality or Doug wrongfully assuming that he is a walking meme factory isn't entirely clear, but using these jokes are a surefire way to entertain Doug's fans... and nobody else:

Yeah that's pretty Monkey Cheese, Doug.
  • "Of Course!" - One of Doug's oldest and most well known running gags. Doug shows a clip of M. Bison from the Street Fighter movie saying "Of course!" whenever he reviews a movie where the villain seeks world domination. Very frequently used by other TGWTG.com contributors as well as youtubers who wish they could post videos there.
  • Big Lipped Alligator Moment - A term Doug coined to describe out-of-place scenes that have nothing to do with the rest of the movie. The name comes from a scene in All Dogs go to Heaven but strangely was first used in a review of Ferngully. People on TvTropes LOVE to use this term, by the way. This joke also tends to be used by ThatGuyWithTheGlasses wannabes.
  • Doug's Gun - A prop that Doug used in his review of Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue! that inexplicably became part of the Nostalgia Critic's image. Even Doug himself isn't really sure how this happened. It's appearances are usually accompanied by lots of screaming and bad special effects.
  • Santa Christ - Christian meme combining. Rob Walker wears a Santa hat and beard and puts a blanket on his shoulders and does... Santa things. Doug made him up for one of his Christmas episodes and continued using him afterward, but the character never contributed to anything, making him completely pointless.
  • "I Was Frozen Today!" - A quote from Christopher Lloyd in some Hulk Hogan movie that Doug took a liking to. Has no other point, Doug just thought it was funny.
  • Chuck Norris Revival - Doug reviewed a movie that starred Chuck Norris and used Chuck Norris jokes as source material, either unaware or uncaring of the years of work that people put into killing this awful meme. Thankfully the revival did not spread outside TGWTG.com and TvTropes.
  • Frying The Coke - Another term coined by Doug, used when someone makes something that's allegedly so dumb it's awesome. While more forced than the Big Lipped Alligator moment, it's much less popular.
  • Bat Credit Card - A trigger word for the Nostalgia Critic, inspired by a scene from Batman and Robin where Batman uses a special credit card with a Batman logo on it to purchase something. Even Doug himself hates this joke, but his fans won't let him forget.
  • Burger King Elephant - Doug's attempt at showing how "You Can't do That on Television"'s habit of dumping slime on anyone who says "I don't know" didn't make sense. Whenever Doug says "Elephant", an image of The Burger King pops up.
  • "You Know, For Kids!" - A phrase Doug says in response to anything sexual, violent, or otherwise illegal that appears in a kid's movie. Very popular among TGWTG wannabes.
  • "A Family Film!" Same as "You Know, For Kids." His jokes have repeated so much they are repeating each other now.

There are many other jokes that get reused constantly, but most of them aren't even recognizable to anyone who doesn't have a shrine of Doug Walker hidden somewhere.

Feud with the Angry Video Game Nerd

Less than a month after uploading his first Nostalgia Critic video, Doug made claims that he was being harassed by the Angry Video Game Nerd's fanbase, already infamous for antagonizing young upstarts such as Chris Bores, Marcus Spiracio, and like 1/3 of the people in this article. He responded by demanding that The Nerd himself tell his fans to stand down, warning that there would be trouble if the harassment continued.

...There's just one thing. By 2008, the time Doug's first AVGN rant came out, most of the AVGN's fanbase tolerated AVGN clones like Doug and most of them probably didn't even know who Doug was. In all likelihood, Doug and/or Mike Michaud saw the opportunity to gain publicity by staging a feud with the AVGN and just made up an excuse to get James Rolfe's attention.

Amusingly, James initially responded by doing exactly what the Nostalgia Critic demanded, and Doug had to make a second video of himself making even more things up or else the plan would've fallen flat on its face. Luckily for the TGWTG crew, James caught on afterward and was willing to partake in their little viral stunt. This led to several crossover videos of things such as Doug and James fighting to the death, Doug, James and a bunch of other nobodies fighting to the death, and Doug and James reviewing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles video. The stunt worked and Doug won the hearts of the very people he claimed were harassing him less than a year earlier.

It is rumored that more recently Doug and Michaud fruitlessly attempted to stage a similar feud with RedLetterMedia.

Doug the Filmmaker

It's most apparent that Doug doesn't know what the fuck he's doing when he attempts to record something more ambitious than just him sitting in front of a white wall. While his videos with James Rolfe at least looked passable thanks to Rolfe, Doug was left on his own for his two year anniversary special "Kickassia" and everything that followed. You can read about Kickassia and the other anniversary films here, but make no mistake that Doug played a key role in these movies turning out the way they did. Doug is so clueless as far as filmmaking is concerned, even with the decently sized budgets he usually has, that even some of his co-contributors have commented on it. Do note that TGWTG.com has several contributors with at least some experience with filmmaking, so the only benefit that comes from having Doug in charge is the ability to see how much of an incompetent buffoon he really is. And Kickassia would only be the beginning.

Doug vs. Trolling and Criticism

While he's long been accused of censoring negative comments on his videos, Doug's history with trolling has been somewhat uneventful in comparison to Spoony, a similarly popular reviewer who was also posting videos for TGWTG.com at the time. For whatever reason, he did feel the need to lash out at his trolls and critics a couple of times, sounding about as butthurt as Spoony usually does.

Doug's opinion of you.

Douchey McNitpick

What would have otherwise been another boring Nostalgia Critic "Top 11" list became a seemingly unprovoked display of butthurt on Doug's part when Douchey McNitpick, an unflattering troll caricature he created for the episode, popped up to help the Nostalgia Critic admit 11 "f*ck ups" that were made in past reviews. Douchey's "trolling" consisted of him telling the Nostalgia Critic he did something wrong with some lame insult tacked on at the end. This would imply that Doug considers moderately harsh criticism, something that's practically unavoidable on the internet, to be trolling, strongly suggesting that he's either much more sensitive than he lets on, or just doesn't give a fuck about what other people think.

We love you, too, Doug.

Doug vs. Encyclopedia Dramatica

Doug lashed out at "trolls" again in his "A Troll in Central Park" review, a review which, as you might expect, had heavy emphasis on the "troll" part. Encyclopedia Dramatica in particular was briefly mentioned in this review, causing commenters to giggle like schoolgirls because they're all even more sensitive than Doug and think ED is literally worse than Hitler.

   
 
Something that amuses me about the TGWTG page - the immense amount of butthurt over a joke in A Troll In Central Park. The joke was included in a gigantic wall of text that was on the screen for maybe a second, yet they're whining like babies. I always have to laugh at how defensive people on ED get over jabs at ED. It's surprising how fragile the feelings are on a site that's like 90% goatse.
 

 
 

Rebochan, jizzing himself over ED's original three sentence response to Doug's callout.

"The Room" Review

What a story, John from theroommovie.com!
Tommy Wiseau,

An innocent actor/director,
harassed and bullied by Doug
and his TGWTG fantards.
Oh hai Encyclopedia Dramatica. As you can see, I'm totally not butthurt. This is why I make Tommy Wiseau Show!

Doug's plan to hide from the evils of copyright law on blip worked for quite some time, but eventually the man came to ruin Doug's day once more. This time it was Doug's review of The Room, which he was forced to pull down after receiving threats of a lawsuit from John from theroommovie.com. In retaliation, Doug posted a video titled "The Tommy Wiseau Show", where he attempts to humiliate John and actor/director Tommy Wiseau, but unsurprisingly comes off as extremely butthurt instead. Nevertheless, fans were eager to help Doug get his review back and defended it by claiming it was protected by fair use. However, it's never really specified how. The obvious argument is that it's a review, but as previously stated Doug's videos are useless as reviews. It could be argued that it counts as parody, but you would really need to stretch the definition of parody as his reviews contain a spoiler-filled synopsis and most of his jokes don't really parody anything.

Doug's fanboys harassed John by sending him hate mail, calling him a retard for not agreeing with the idea that Doug's review was protected by fair use, and calling Tommy Wiseau a hack for making a bad movie. In response the email link on theroommovie.com was taken down. That's it. While Doug did eventually get permission to put the video back up, it was in no way thanks to these wonderful people. The only thing they accomplished was proving that Doug's fans were as bad as the imaginary AVGN fanboys that attacked Doug back in 2008. So how did Doug get to put his review back up on TGWTG.com, then? Well, a couple of fatasses recorded themselves asking a clearly apathetic Tommy if Doug could post the video, and Tommy said yes, forgetting they ever existed immediately afterwards. Mission accomplished.

Here's a few of the letters that were sent to John:
   
 
Oh hi, John from The Room Movie Dot Com.

How are you doing? Probably angry because of all the hate-mail you're getting. I have the solution! Your movie would make much more money if the review was still up, because in the end of it, the Nostalgia Critic tells the viewers to actually watch the movie! You'd get much more people at the screenings that way. I highly recommend that you allow the Nostalgia Critic to keep his review, or you will pay.. You will pay.
 


 
 

—His mouth probably hurts from sucking cock too hard

   
 
I think your parents were either inbred or you got dropped on your head as an infant to not only act in (horribly I might add), direct and write such an atrocious movie as "The Room", but to claim copyright infringement on a satirical review. Not only was the review funny, it is also protected by the same laws that you claimed it violated. The only reason it got deleted was because the administrators of the site probably didn't know enough about copyright law. Now that I think of it I should probably have you sued for bodily damage (I almost needed eye surgery) and mental anguish due to watching "The Room". You sir, are a total and utter fuck-up and the internet will always prevail. That I can guarantee you.


 


 
 

—Clinically retarded from watching The Room. It shows.

   
 
"Oh, hi! John from the room movie dot com.

How's it going? Probably not that great right now because of all the angry emails about the Nostalgia Critic's review of "the room" being taken down because you guys claimed copyright infringement. Well, I'm here to help! Firstly, you should know that he (the Nostalgia Critic) does not need to ask for your permission, nor does he need to pay you any sort of fees, because he reviewed your movie. It's covered under fair use, which I quote here: "Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use."

This means that he does not need any legal or moral clearance from you in order to review "The Room." Now, to resolve all of this hate mail I'm sure you're getting, you are truly better off not lodging any copyright claims against him, because, if this were to go to court, you would most surely loose any legal battle, not to mention money. But that aside, letting him keep the review up is actually good business for YOU! Yes, it is! For, you see, he actually tells people to go watch the movie! This is what you would call a free advertisement! Now, you can do what you want, but the Nostalgia Critic is most likely going to dispute your copyright claims, in which case you will loose, according to the "fair use" clause I provided you above.
 


 
 

— How cute, the fantard thinks it's a lawyer!


Doug's yearbook picture, complete with Chris-chan glasses and fedora, looking even more like a pedophile than usual.
Nostalgia Critic meets his fans.
Releasin cont(in)ent once a week.

Failed Let's Play Attempt

In September of 2011 Doug made an attempt to expand into doing let's plays, presumably under the assumption that since he already does commentary in the form of reviews, he should easily be able to do commentary in the form of let's plays. So, he grabbed a copy of Bart's Nightmare for the SNES and recorded himself commentating in character as the Nostalgia Critic. This was the result. Doug stumbles around trying to do improvised commentary on a game that he isn't good at and doesn't provide him with anything to make jokes about. For over half an hour. Of course he could've talked about the gameplay or about the various characters and settings that appear in the game, but that's not what the Nostalgia Critic does. The video got an unusually negative reaction: while there were, as always, fans willing to call it perfect, many others practically begged Doug never to make another Let's Play again. They got their wish, but at a cost...

Doug Walker's fanbase vs. Retsupurae

Doug's crappy let's play was quickly brought to the attention of Retsupurae, who commentated over the video for their (slightly) less cancerous fanbase.

http://blip.tv/slowbeef/retsupurae-vs-the-nostalgia-critic-5535142

Some fans admittied that the let's play was deserving of criticism. Others were infuriated, demanding to know why two random haters had the right to criticize Doug's let's play, most of them unaware of the fact that the two "haters" were both let's players with a youtube channel full of similar commentaries. In the end the efforts of Doug's fanbase were once again in vain, as Doug himself ended up admitting that the video was bad and even apologizing for it. Even that wasn't enough reason to stop for some fans, though, as evidenced by the fact that Retsupurae's video still gets angry comments years later. In addition, one can sense a hint of butthurt in Doug's apology when he, once again, labels his critics as petty whiners.

   
 
I like the part where he swore and screamed. Contextless profanity is a cornerstone of decent comedy. Truly this man is a witty comedic genius.
 

 
 

—Are you daring to question the Critic's genius with sarcasm? STONE HIM

   
 
This was brutally unfunny and boring.
 

 
 

STONE HIM TOO

   
 
I love how so many people are saying that this video isn't that bad, and yet the person who uploaded this disabled the ratings system.
 

 
 

—Criticism? What's that?

   
 
'People like to see me get tortured' - So before you bitch about this, remember this, it was YOU lol'd the first time and video game reviews was on demand since then. Basically, YOU asked for this and now you bitch about it. So yeah think about that.
 

 
 

— Yeah! It's all OUR fault Doug made a horrible Let's Pla- wait.

   
 
People need to get a life if they take this too seriously. Honestly. Go outside and get some fresh air. It's immature, unreasonable, stupid, idiotic, dimwitted, etc to lash out and troll and saying he's a terrible person aghagjahgjhag are really low. Seriously. I don't get it. He made a bad video. You have every right to like it or not, but there's a difference between disliking and trolling. Everyone takes these things way too seriously when they shouldn't. If you do, get a life. That's all..
 

 
 

—Also don't like it don't watch it yada yada.

   
 
"Stop complaining and don't watch if you don't like it u sad people." Um... The Nostalgia Critic gets paid to watch movies that he doesn't like and then complain about them. He even goes looking for shitty movies. So why can't NC fans complain about a video they were expecting to be good?
 

 
 

—Surprisingly, the fanboys didn't respond to this gem.

   
 
I really dont see why people dont like this, this was the funniest thing I ever seen. I was literally ROTFL.
 

 
 

—Now where's that pesky brain of mine I keep losing over and over?

   
 
Not. A big. Fucking. DEAL. I mean, Doug's made mediocre videos before, he's allowed to have an off week, on account of his frequent genius.
 

 
 

—Too bad this is his day job dipshit, so he's automatically obliged to put some effort in his videos with his non-existent frequent genius.

The end of the Nostalgia Critic (Except Not)

Doug announced that he was leaving TGWTG.com after he realized that making asinine synopses for a website that's well past its prime wasn't going to make him a famous actor. After spending a ton of money on new actors (apparently Rob wasn't good enough anymore) and recording equipment he produced Demo Reel, a piss-poor hybrid of This Is Spinal Tap, Ed Wood, and the Scary Movie sequels. Unsurprisingly, it sucked. With very little support from anyone (most of Doug's fans were too caught up with the Nostalgia Critic ending to pay attention. Moreover his socially retarded aspie, middle schooler fan base has no money), it quickly became apparent that Demo Reel wasn't going to get Doug anywhere, so he gave up and went back to doing the Nostalgia Critic. Doug wasn't finished trying to show off his acting skills, though, as the new Nostalgia Critic features plenty of painful, nigh unwatchable sketches that are barely related to what he's reviewing and waste even more time than his excessively long jokes.

It doesn't help that the Nostalgia Critic character has been dramatically sissified to the point of annoyance, where instead of being the raging psychopath with an inflated ego, he has now turned into an “all knowing”, “overly sympathetic”, and “perfect human” being who supports feminism and copyright to further expand Doug's inflated ego. The unwatchable skits portrays the critics worthless opinion on media as fact, while anybody that happens to like said product is shown as stupid, evil, nerds with no life, and anti feminist's who worship Michael Bay (See Mad Ex-lax: Faggy Road "Review" to see his one sided social views at their worst), while the actual filmmakers are shown to be antagonistic creatures, particularly Michael Bay & Zack Snyder despite being unwarranted in some reviews (once again, Faggy Road skit for reference), who must be stopped for expressing themselves through art. The criticisms he brought up aren't even thought provoking or deep, and just come off as surface level and are repetitively hammered to the ground, even if it's such a minor issue that isn't even that big of a deal, like harping on Eddie Murphy's lifeless shell in "The Mishaps of Pluto Passionate Sex" for calling an "attractive lady" flat assed, which makes you realize that he has never even took basic critic classes in his life.

Not since the likes of GameDamage has an internet critic driven his ambitions into the ground so quickly


Funding the New Nostalgia Critic

Early in 2013 Doug started an Indiegogo campaign to make up for all the money that was blown on Demo Reel. This time, the money would be going into the new Nostalgia Critic series, along with whatever he still had leftover from Demo Reel (including the actors.) The campaign also featured absurdly overpriced backer rewards, demanding hundreds of dollars for varying degrees of brief acknowledgement. When you have Doug's fan base, however, it doesn't really matter, as they'll happily fund anything Doug makes as long as it gets posted on TGWTG.com and isn't a let's play. The campaign made $90,000, which amazingly was only 1/11th of what Doug hoped he would get. Nevertheless, it was above the $50,000 goal so it would do.

So what exactly did all that money go to? Your guess is as good as anyone's. Doug and Rob are so bad at making their videos not look like crap that you can't even tell what's new and what's been recycled from Demo Reel and the old Nostalgia Critic videos. The biggest difference is the actors, who as previously stated are leftover from Demo Reel and aren't that big of an improvement over Rob and Bhargav.

Pop Quiz Hotshot

"Pop Quiz Hotshot" is essentially a partially aborted leftover from the 2013 NC "reboot" taking the form of a cheap-as-fuck 80s-themed game show. Much like Demo Reel, nobody really wanted this, but because there was no threat of the Nostalgia Critic ending this time, nobody really cared either. In it, unenthusiastic co-contributor Brad Jones (who for some reason is the host), plays a typical Doug Walker character, who uses his african warlord friend to force two barely responsive guys to answer questions, play the cheapest games imaginable, and then fight the Nostalgia Critic (yes, Doug's in character too) at the end. It's so cheap that hardly anyone believes that this got more than a tiny fraction of Doug's indiegogo money.

Doug Returns to Youtube

As Mike and the Walker bros' blip-based empire began to crumble over the course of 2013 and 2014 it became impossible to ignore the issues with TGWTG.com, and Doug finally gave up on his ridiculous feud with YouTube and started posting his videos on Channel Awesome's new YouTube account (Originally a channel called "The League of Super Critics", but now just Channel Awesome). With TGWTG.com (which was also rebranded as Channel Awesome) becoming redundant and Blip shutting down completely, CA's focus has since shifted to it's YouTube account. As one might expect, this has substantially boosted their viewership and provided them with effectively free promotions via Youtube's completely idiotic recommendation system. This sounds great for Doug, but the benefits could've been even greater if he hadn't waited so fucking long, as evidenced by co-contributor Angry Joe, who created a YouTube account before his career plateaued and went on to become the most successful person to have ever been associated with TGWTG/CA. Missing such an opportunity would be forgivable if it wasn't so easy to see blip's downfall coming.

#WTFU

By 2015, copyright-related issues on Youtube were resulting in more complaints than ever, mainly surrounding the automated system designed to handle the ever-growing number of copyright claims and content-id matches videos have been getting, though also some more severe issues such as entire channels disappearing without warning. No longer able to receive Blip's protection, Doug contributed to this resistance with #WTFU, short for "where's the fair use?". Doug quickly gathered support from youtubers big and small, and has become a leading figure in the fight to get YouTube to start giving a shit about all this.

The problem is that there's no easy fix for what's going on. Manually checking every copyright claim and every content-id match would be a slow and expensive process, especially since it would mainly benefit a group of people that are becoming increasingly expendable from YouTube's perspective. Also, the only time YouTube itself would absolutely need to be conscious of fair use is if they were the ones making a copyright claim or taking someone's ad revenue. Otherwise, while it may speed things up somewhat, it isn't necessarily their responsibility. Regardless of these issues, Doug stands to gain from his #WTFU campaign even if nobody else does (which is most likely what will happen), ironically making copyright responsible for the biggest promotion Doug's gotten since the AVGN feud.

Lardass lays it down on Doug Walker

The truth?

TL;DR, Doug Walker gets upset that Studio Ghibli took down his video review of My Neighbor Totoro.

For two videos worth of garbage, Jason Pullara reveals that they had plenty of time (fucking SEVERAL YEARS' WORTH) to slap Doug upside the head to knock the sense that, "maybe people will realize that your work is shitty edited snark over a Cliff Notes retelling of a movie and you should do something about this before they take down your work like a bitch". Not only that, Channel Assload is pretty dumb to sell DVDs of their re edited bullshit, and it's only up to time to tell when they will get fucked up the ass with an iron spiked dildo and dragged into the depths of hell and all of its stinking heated fecal glory.

Don't hesitate to overlap Jason's commentary with what Doug is talking about either. Doug even has the gall to say that he's sticking up for the little people when in reality he charged $1,500 on his shitty Indiegogo campaign which earned you a tour of his empty warehouse in Chicago, travel expenses not covered on their end.

Good luck convincing your user base to give you another 90k!

Gallery

External Links

See Also

Doug Walker is part of the TGWTG Circle-jerk

Circlejerk: That Guy With The GlassesDoug WalkerJewWarioLinkaraTheSpoonyOneScrewAttack/Former TalentAngry JoeTodd in the ShadowsNostalgia ChickJesuotakuAnime News Network
Enemies: AsalieriScrewAttack