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Broken/Furfaggotry/Featured Article: Difference between revisions

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imported>BigMeatHuggins22
New featured furfag, enjoy your cockwaffle
imported>BigMeatHuggins22
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{{Featuredupdate|Featured Article}}
{{Featuredupdate|Featured Article}}
</noinclude>
</noinclude>
{{:Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article/title|Conner_Lupindo_Hemming}}
{{:Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article/title|Dogpatch Press}}
{{ib|[[File:ConnerIRL.jpg|right|250px]]}}
{{ib|[[File:patchofurr.jpg|right|250px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Conner Lupindo Hemming or AshiPaws''' </big><sub>or whatever he decides to call himself next week</sub>}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Dogpatch Press''' </big>}}
{{Ibrow|'' Real Name|Zachary Scott White'''}}
{{Ibrow|'' Real Name|Patrick Lake'''}}
{{Ibrow|'''Given Names| Dracofoxy, Malik A. Pawtendo, Ashi Paws, AshiPawpers, Malik Azreal Megedagik, Ashiato H. Watakashi, Conner Lupindo Hemming, ShadowConner, ConnerFirehawk, KaneSmith, Canidane Foxclaw, StrawberryPawz, MacroFurry, Chronic Vil Megedagik, Corgifox}}
{{Ibrow|'''AKA|Patch O'Furr Patch Packrat, Blake Killpatrick}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]]&nbsp;&nbsp;[[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]]&nbsp;&nbsp;[[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Birthday|Unknown (estimated 29)'''}}
{{Ibrow|'''Birthday|Unknown (approx 30+)'''}}
{{Ibrow|'''Species|[[Wolf]]'''}}
{{Ibrow|'''Species|[[Dog|Husky]]'''}}
{{Ibrow|'''Sub-Species|[[Fake|Mimic]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Sub-Species|[[Journalist]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Genus|[[Furry]]'''}}
{{Ibrow|'''Genus|[[Furry]]'''}}
{{Ibend}}
{{Ibend}}


<div style="text-align: justify">'''Conner Lupindo Hemming''' ([[Powerword]]: '''Zachary Scott White''') is an [[asspie]] [[furfag]] whose tantrums have led him to make some rather [[homosexuality|unfortunate decisions in his life]]. Between plugging his shitty band or in the midst of a vendetta against any of his numerous former internet flings, Conner got the idea that [[X is not your personal army|he could entice Encyclopedia Dramatica to attack his enemies for him]] due to his crippling incompetency.</div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify">'''Patch''' (AKA '''Dogpatch Press''', '''Patch O'Furr''' '''Patch Packrat''', '''Blake Killpatrick''', or [[powerword|'''Patrick Lake''']]) is a [[sociopath]] and [[usi|self-proclaimed]] [[furfag]] "journalist" best known for his news website of the same name titled "Dogpatch Press", and for having numerous [[Autistic screeching|autistic fits]] about [[nazis]], [[nazifurs]] and furry raiders. We know this because he will never [[shut the fuck up]] about them, and he continually inserts himself into furry raiders drama for no other reason than to get clout. When this waste of human life isn't publishing [[fanfiction|hard-hitting journalism]] on his [[snca|gay little news website]], he's getting [[Masturbation|jerked off]] at [[gay pride|pride events]] and getting slapped with [[lawsuits]] for fraud and libel. In a community filled with [[pedos]], [[camwhores]], [[autists]], [[Beastiality|dogfuckers]] and [[antifa]]-endorsing [[neets]], this guy not only manages to be the biggest, greasiest shitsmear on the underpants of the furry fandom, but excels in finding new ways of validating himself as the biggest, most gigantic, most unlikable super-supreme-ultra-mega-faggot in the entire universe that has ever existed ''and will ever exist''.


<div style="text-align: justify">It all started, as it so often does, on a humble little website known as [[DeviantArt]]. Conner started out his ban evading when he got banned from chatrooms on dAmn, Deviantart's social network. From there it went to Secondlife, where he roomed with a few "friends", and threw a hissy fit when one of them left a cock waffle, a prim penis with a waffle texture on it, in his room. He later claimed that setting eyes upon that cockwaffle actually turned him into the cock-loving [[faggot]] he is today.</div><br />
Nazis here, Nazis there, Nazis every-fucking-where! That's the mind of the [[batshit insane]] [[roody-poo]] [[candy-ass]] behind the AltFurry blockbot, and that's the mind of anyone that uses it. Anyone right of Stalin is literally part of a death cult and the only salvation is to ignore every furfag not following the script. That's right, either you're a [[Stunning and Brave|stunning and brave]] [[trans]] [[Neets|neet]] [[otherkin]] fighting one of many self-diagnosed mental illnesses, or you're a jack-booted [[Hitler Youth]] involved in a far-right conspiracy hell-bent on the destruction of the free liberal world. Why are you mad anon? You'd only be mad if you were a Nazi. Oh you're not mad? Nazi confirmed. [[Pwnt]] [[n00b]] LMAO UwU><br />


{{quote|Seeing that cockwaffle actually turned me gay...|Conner [[Bullshit|claiming a prim penis on Secondlife turned him into a faggot]]}}><br />
{{center|<big>'''[[Dogpatch_Press|IN CASE YOU COULDN'T ALREADY TELL HE REALLY HATES NAZIS XDDDD]]''' </big>}}
 
{{center|<big>'''[[Conner_Lupindo_Hemming|WE ALL LIKE A LITTLE COCKWAFFLE]]''' </big>}}

Latest revision as of 18:37, 14 February 2022

<Portal:Furfaggotry
When updating Featured Article, update the archive.


Featured Article - Dogpatch Press
Dogpatch Press
Real Name Patrick Lake
AKA Patch O'Furr Patch Packrat, Blake Killpatrick
Nationality: Americunt  
Birthday Unknown (approx 30+)
Species Husky
Sub-Species Journalist
Genus Furry


Patch (AKA Dogpatch Press, Patch O'Furr Patch Packrat, Blake Killpatrick, or Patrick Lake) is a sociopath and self-proclaimed furfag "journalist" best known for his news website of the same name titled "Dogpatch Press", and for having numerous autistic fits about nazis, nazifurs and furry raiders. We know this because he will never shut the fuck up about them, and he continually inserts himself into furry raiders drama for no other reason than to get clout. When this waste of human life isn't publishing hard-hitting journalism on his gay little news website, he's getting jerked off at pride events and getting slapped with lawsuits for fraud and libel. In a community filled with pedos, camwhores, autists, dogfuckers and antifa-endorsing neets, this guy not only manages to be the biggest, greasiest shitsmear on the underpants of the furry fandom, but excels in finding new ways of validating himself as the biggest, most gigantic, most unlikable super-supreme-ultra-mega-faggot in the entire universe that has ever existed and will ever exist.

Nazis here, Nazis there, Nazis every-fucking-where! That's the mind of the batshit insane roody-poo candy-ass behind the AltFurry blockbot, and that's the mind of anyone that uses it. Anyone right of Stalin is literally part of a death cult and the only salvation is to ignore every furfag not following the script. That's right, either you're a stunning and brave trans neet otherkin fighting one of many self-diagnosed mental illnesses, or you're a jack-booted Hitler Youth involved in a far-right conspiracy hell-bent on the destruction of the free liberal world. Why are you mad anon? You'd only be mad if you were a Nazi. Oh you're not mad? Nazi confirmed. Pwnt n00b LMAO UwU>

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