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Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article
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| Dogpatch Press | |
| Real Name | Patrick Lake |
| AKA | Patch O'Furr Patch Packrat, Blake Killpatrick |
| Nationality: | Americunt 
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| Birthday | Unknown (approx 30+) |
| Species | Husky |
| Sub-Species | Journalist |
| Genus | Furry |
Patch (AKA Dogpatch Press, Patch O'Furr Patch Packrat, Blake Killpatrick, or Patrick Lake) is a sociopath and self-proclaimed furfag "journalist" best known for his news website of the same name titled "Dogpatch Press", and for having numerous autistic fits about nazis, nazifurs and furry raiders. We know this because he will never shut the fuck up about them, and he continually inserts himself into furry raiders drama for no other reason than to get clout. When this waste of human life isn't publishing hard-hitting journalism on his gay little news website, he's getting jerked off at pride events and getting slapped with lawsuits for fraud and libel. In a community filled with pedos, camwhores, autists, dogfuckers and antifa-endorsing neets, this guy not only manages to be the biggest, greasiest shitsmear on the underpants of the furry fandom, but excels in finding new ways of validating himself as the biggest, most gigantic, most unlikable super-supreme-ultra-mega-faggot in the entire universe that has ever existed and will ever exist.
Nazis here, Nazis there, Nazis every-fucking-where! That's the mind of the batshit insane roody-poo candy-ass behind the AltFurry blockbot, and that's the mind of anyone that uses it. Anyone right of Stalin is literally part of a death cult and the only salvation is to ignore every furfag not following the script. That's right, either you're a stunning and brave trans neet otherkin fighting one of many self-diagnosed mental illnesses, or you're a jack-booted Hitler Youth involved in a far-right conspiracy hell-bent on the destruction of the free liberal world. Why are you mad anon? You'd only be mad if you were a Nazi. Oh you're not mad? Nazi confirmed. Pwnt n00b LMAO UwU>