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{{warning|This article may contain [[Bullshit|bullshit]] written by [[13-year-old boys|13-year-old]] fanboys, you can help by reverting everything added by [[Faggots|them]].}}
[[Image:Stuck_it_ware.jpg|thumb|Bungie... why so dirty? [http://www.bungie.net/Online/Halo3UserContentDetails.aspx?h3fileid=59636319 bungie link to DL]]]
[[Image:FindingTheAR.jpg|thumb|Finding The Assault Rifle. Coming 2012.]]
[[Image:Vehicles_deployed.jpg|thumb|Typical game of Halo in progress.]]
[[Image:Wut?.jpg|thumb|The average 'slam down' between players.]]
[[Image:HaloMyFirstFPS.jpg|thumb|It's like saying a bike with training wheels is better because anyone can ride it.]]
[[Image:Halokid.jpg|thumb|The typical [[13 year old boy|''Halo'' player]]. Don't believe me? Go play ''Halo 3'' on Xbox Live.]]
[[Image:Masterchefstory.jpg|thumb|Halo in a nutshell.]]
[[Image:Haloelite.jpg|thumb|The Arbiter, savior of the Covenant.]]
[[Image:Cortana.jpg|thumb|[[Orgasm|The knowledge... So much...So fast! It's glorious!]]]]
[[Image:halo_teabag.gif|thumb|A fallen player's view of his slayer about to get sniped due to being a faggot-humper who is more concerned about bragging over a kill than the task at hand.]]
[[Image:fat_elite.jpg|thumb|[[Fat Furs|The final boss]]. Seriously, the game is that fucking easy to beat.]]
[[Image:Halo_2.jpg|thumb|''Halo 2'' was basically just ''Halo 1'' with bugged cutscenes, better textures and no atmosphere.]]
[[Image:LegendaryEditionforyourcat.jpg|thumb|This is why everyone wants the Legendary edition of ''Halo 3''.]]
[[Image:Mlgbrah.JPG|thumb|8 Year old g's.]]
'''''[[Halo]]''''', also known as '''Gaylo''' and '''Failo''', is an overrated, overhyped [[FPS]] game with outdated controls, [[Runescape|terrible]] graphics, shitty characters, and a [[retarded|convoluted]] storyline that was once considered "good" only because most gamers have never opened a fucking book. The online multiplayer is scientifically designed to get on your nerves. The storyline also [[theft|ripped off]] some shitty 1970's book called 'Ringworld', that [[Shit nobody cares about|nobody cared about]], and also ripped off vehicles, designs, and Sgt. Apone (Johnson) from Aliens, which everyone did care about. The game was credited for saving [[Microsoft]]'s [[Xbox]] from going straight down the [[Shitbricks|drain]] because at the time, it was the only reason why 13 year old kids would have wanted one. The official website for gay banana split Halo fans is [[Bungie.net]], a [[Lemonparty|gay banana]] website.
==Halo 1.0==
'''''[[Halo]]''''', is an overrated, over-hyped [[FPS]] game with outdated controls, [[Runescape|terrible]] graphics, shitty characters, and a [[Retarded|convoluted]] storyline that was once considered "good" only because most gamers have never read a chapter book in their lives. The online multiplayer is scientifically designed to get on your nerves. The storyline also [[Theft|took several creative liberties from]] some shitty 1970's book called ''Ringworld'', that [[Shit nobody cares about|nobody cared about]], and also ripped off vehicles, designs, and Sgt. Apone (Johnson) from ''Aliens'', which everyone ''did'' care about. The game was credited for saving [[Microsoft]]'s [[Xbox]] from being branded a corporate money and timesink.
The original ''Halo'' was known for being the only good [[Xbox]] game that wasn't available on [[Playstation 2]] or the [[GameCube]] or [[Dreamcast]].
It received [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5bu5YMzyPU extremely good] reviews from every major publication thanks to its fantabulous level design that repeated the same Goddamn gray corridor every 30 feet, which cut loading times. And as if the repetition wasn't bad enough, halfway through the game, you get to play through each level BACKWARDS!
The original story involved the [[Pretty cool guy|Master Chef]], a 26th century [[300|Spartan]], and excellent cook, killing a bunch of aliens and stopping a giant ring in outer space from fuckinga up everyone's shit, thus saving world/universe/day/whatever.
== Games ==
It was also notable for having a handgun that could [[headshot]] people from literally half a mile away. Any multiplayer game became a chorus of [[Butthurt|moans and profanity]] as just getting with 500 yards of a competent player (lol, paradox) resulted in instant death.
=== ''Halo: Combat Evolved'' ===
Unfortunately, the game sold a fuckload and singlehandedly saved the [[Xbox]] from going the way of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Dreamcast]].
[[Image:HaloMyFirstFPS.jpg|thumb|It's like saying a bike with training wheels is better because anyone can ride it.]]
The original ''Halo'' was known for being the only "good" [[Xbox]] game that wasn't available on other platforms. It received [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REJE2eBc_8c extremely good] reviews from every major publication thanks to its [[lie|great]] level design that repeated the same goddamn gray corridor every 30 feet, which cut loading times. And as if the repetition wasn't bad enough, halfway through the game, you get to play through each level BACKWARDS!
''Halo 2'' also introduced a new playable character - The Arbiter, a Covenant Elite warrior [[you have no friends|shunned by his people]] and blah blah blah, [[Shit nobody cares about|nobody really cares]].
The original story involved the [[Pretty cool guy|Master Chief]], a 26th century [[300|Spartan]], who killed a fucktonne of [[Muslim|zealots]] and stopped a giant ring in outer space from fucking up everyone's shit, thus saving world/universe/day/whatever.
We also get introduced to Miranda Keyes, who's the daughter of that captain dude from the first game, the High Prophets: Truth, Mercy & Regret (who look suspiciously like turkeys), the aforementioned venus fly trap Gravemind, and the Brutes, led by their Chieftain, Tartarus, who is a big-ass bondage loving furry from Hell.
It was also notable for having a handgun that could [[headshot]] people from literally half a mile away. Every multiplayer game became a chorus of [[Butthurt|moans and profanity]] as just getting within 500 yards of a competent player would result in death.
''Halo 2'' was the first game that you could play over the internets, via Xbox Live. Of course, the funny thing about having a design team of [[over 9000]] [[CSIII]] graduates is that not everyone knows what everyone else is doing. This leads to a lot of interesting problems that [[basement dweller|basement dwellers]] (or in some cases, [[trolls]]) can find and exploit, like people being able to lunge at someone with the sword from a mile away, being able to drop through the ground, being able to bounce 2,000 feet into the air, and being able to lag everyone into next week, while you go around and rape the other team. As such, [[at least 100]] patches have been released trying to fix the broken and obviously retarded multiplayer. Though even without the glitches, any normal human can only take the unbalanced weaponry, the high-pitched screams of [[13 year old boy|prepubescent boys]], and sheer lack of entertainment for so long.
If the player completed the game on Legendary difficulty, he was rewarded by a nigger and an elite hugging. Bungie's innovative trend of rewarding effort with bestiality never really caught on with other developers.
It did, however have the best rocketa launchera of the three games, since it could seek, and allowed you to dual wield needlers for epic win.
==== ''Halo PC'' ====
[[TL;DR]]: Halo 2 is an expansion pack to Halo that didn't add anything except the ability to hold [[ALL CAPS|TWO WEAPONS]]!!!
A shitty port of ''Halo'' to the PC by [[Jews|Gearbox Software]]. Despite the dated graphics, you needed a "[[Shit|high-end]]" PC to run it decently. The only reason you would want to play ''Halo PC'' is for the single-player campaign, as the multiplayer is complete ass. No votekick, no voice chat, laggy online play, and a community of retards.
==Halo PC==
=== Halo Lag Edition (a.k.a. ''Halo Trial'') ===
A shitty port of ''Halo'' to the PC. Despite the dated graphics, you only needed a "[[Shit|high-end]]" PC to run it decently. The only reason you would want to play ''Halo PC'' is for the single-player campaign, as the multiplayer is complete ass. No votekick, no voice chat (well, in ''Halo'''s case that might be a good thing), laggy shitty ass online play (you have to aim five feet ahead of an enemy to register a hit), and a community of fucktards ("lol n00b pwned xD"). Not only that, but 99% of all the fucking servers are fucking rockets on Blood Gulch or Battle Creek.(Not to mention they hack like a bitch.)
==Halo Lag Edition(aka Halo Trial)==
And you thought that ''Halo PC'' was laggy? Then you'll want to try the Halo Trial, which has the worst netcode in the history of online multiplayer games. Forget playing this freeware demo; it's hardly even a game since it doesn't even work. And if you do manage to get the multiplayer to work by buying the fastest internet connection possible, you'll meet players even more annoying and idiotic than the ones who play the full version. The only thing the Halo trial is good for is the one campaign level that it comes with, but the fun of the campaign level quickly diminishes after you save and quit, sit through the 20-minute video of Sgt Johnson screaming at you to buy several copies of the full game, then come back later only to find that [[Trolling|the trial doesn't actually save your game]].
And you thought that Halo PC was laggy? Then you'll want to try the Halo Trial, which has the worst netcode in the history of online multiplayer games. Forget playing this freeware demo, because it's hardly even a game since it doesn't even work. And if you do manage to get the multiplayer to work by buying the fastest internet connection possible, you'll meet players even more annoying and idiotic than the ones who play the full version. Only kids play the trial because their parents won't buy them Halo PC because it's rated M for Maximum [[Faggotry]]. The only thing the Halo trial is good for is the one campaign level that it comes with. But the fun of the campaign level quickly diminishes after you save and quit, sit through the 20-minute video of Sgt Johnson screaming at you to buy several copies of the full game, then come back later only to find that the trial doesn't actually save your game(in other words, it lies to you).
==Halo Custom Edition==
=== ''Halo Custom Edition'' ===
A shitty port of ''Halo'' to the PC, only with no campaign mode and the ability to play poorly-made custom maps made by 13 year olds with Gmax. Gearbox Software released some shitty hack tools to go along with Halo CE so you can make your own maps. However, there are really only 3 known custom maps in existence. The rest are all re-textured versions of Bloodgulch with AIs more retarded than the ones in Perfect Dark. Occasionally you'll find a map that has some custom weapons, but they're always half-assed and usually fire nothing but plasma grenades. Because of the lack of good modding tools, many Halo CE fans decided to make their own hack tools, which are almost better than the Gearbox ones aside from the fact that nearly all of them were written with .NET Framework and have constant exception errors or just don't work at all. Before Halo 2 for Vista came out, some maps ported from the Xbox version turned Halo CE into the poor man's Halo 2 multiplayer.
==Halo 2==
Another shitty port of ''Halo'' to the PC, only with no campaign mode and the ability to play poorly-made custom maps. Gearbox released some shitty hack tools to go along with ''Halo CE'' so you can make your own maps. However, there are really only 3 known custom maps in existence. Because of the lack of good modding tools, many ''Halo CE'' fans decided to make their own hack tools, which are almost better than the Gearbox ones, aside from the fact that nearly all of them were written with .NET Framework and have constant exception errors or just don't work at all. Before Halo 2 for Vista came out, some maps ported from the Xbox version turned ''Halo CE'' into the poor man's Halo 2 multiplayer.
[[Image:Needler 3.jpg|thumb|right|[[Goatse]]?]]
Like any somewhat decent game that makes a lot of money, the designers had to [[FUBAR|fuck it up beyond all recognition]]. They took every redeeming quality of the original and raped it like [[Pedobear]] in a roomful of [[Loli|loli]] after being starved of [[CP]] for 3 weeks. The graphics were glitchy, the physics were inconsistent, the weapons were [[shit]], well...yeah, and the levels were...well they stayed at about the same level of shittiness. [[Irony|Ironically]], the game solda even [[moar]] than the first, and millions of [[fucktard]]s blindly embraced it as a gift from [[God]].
=== ''Halo 2'' ===
The story was also borderline [[retard]]ed and riddled with plot holes, like how the Covenant somehow find Earth and (conveniently) a brand new Halo ring, or like how they just randomly throw in the Venus Fly Trap from the ''Little Shop of Horrors'' halfway into the game.
[[Image:Halo_2.jpg|thumb|''Halo 2'' was basically just ''Halo 1'' with bugged cutscenes, better textures and no atmosphere.]]
==Halo 2 Vista==
Like any somewhat decent game that makes a lot of money, the designers had to [[FUBAR|fuck it up beyond all recognition]]. They took all of the redeeming qualities of the original and used them as enemas to get more "innovative" content out for the new game. The graphics were glitchy, the physics were non-existent, the weapons were shit, and the singleplayer levels were only slightly less shitty. Unfortunately, the 1000 years spent in MS Paint to improve those levels resulted in the multiplayer levels suffering tremendously. The game somehow sold even more copies than the first, and millions of 13-year-olds blindly embraced it as a gift from [[God]].
A shitty port of ''Halo 2'' to the PC. It was exactly the same as ''Halo 2'' for the Xbox, except it has [[lie|better graphics]] and a [[shit nobody cares about|map editor]]. To get the ability to play a three year old Xbox game, all you have to do is [[fail|downgrade]] to [[Vista]]. Anyone who is [[retarded|stupid]] enough to buy this should become [[an halo]].
''Halo 2 Vista'' was also the first game in Microsoft's attempt to [[Shit|consolize]] PC gaming, "Gays For Windows". Apparently MS thinks it's a great idea to Jew Fail marketing ploy was fail.
While the story of the first ''Halo'' was passable, the story of the second was riddled with plot holes, like how the Covenant somehow find Earth and (conveniently) a brand new Halo ring, or how they just randomly throw in the Venus Fly Trap from the ''Little Shop of Horrors'' halfway into the game.
==Halo 1.5 (or 3)==
''Halo 2'' also introduced a new playable character—The Arbiter—a Covenant warrior who was [[you have no friends|shunned by his people]] for letting the Master Chief blow up the first ring.
And just in case you managed to avoid that spoilers, Johnson dies. But black people always die in [[movies]] and [[Video games|videogames]]. That one white commander [[woman]] dies, too, because it's a well-known fact that [[women]] [[suck]] at [[Cock|videogames]].
Even though ''Halo 2'' was more popular than [[Jesus]], the [[Retards|designers]] [http://www.gamespot.com/news/6164579.html?sid=6164579&page=16| admitted] that it was a broken pile of [[fail]] and [[AIDS]]. While ''Halo 3'' is still made of fail, it is still better than that rancid collection of squirrel dung, ''Halo 2'' (If only slightly).
We also get introduced to a stupid bitch who (despite being shown piloting extremely recklessly) [[affirmative action|somehow became a captain]], some [[Catholics|prophets]], the aforementioned Venus fly trap, and an entirely new alien race that suddenly spread throughout the entire universe and took over the Covenant overnight.
Bungie isn't exactly known for innovation, as the game still has the same boring controls as it did in [[2001]].
''Halo 2'' was one of the first and most popular games for [[Xbox Live]]. Unfortunately, its multiplayer had even more holes than its storyline. Countless glitches existed, the most notable of which was the ability of the player to become a rubber bouncy ball and escape the map boundaries. [[Trolls|Master Rusemen]] found ways to exploit the networking and force people to endure unbearable lag and random bullshit like tanks being destroyed with a single shot from a sniper rifle, sword attacks from impossible distances, etc.
Graphics-wise, it looks EXACTLY like ''Halo 2'', except that its [[Over 9000]] times brighter , and a big, fat layer of [[lens flare]] thrown over everything.
''Halo 2'''s design improvements, such as the ability to hold two guns at once, were hailed as innovative, new, and totally original by people who had never played [[Marathon]], [[Goldeneye]], [[Unreal Tournament]] or [[Perfect Dark]].
By the final installment of the trilogy, you would think the story couldn't possibly get any more butchered...right? [[wrong|WRONG!!]] There are so many plot holes and random shit happening that you'll most likely be forced to throw the whole thing out the window. For example: How did Gravemind find Earth? Why did MC just randomly jump off Truth's ship entering Earth... was it just for the lulz? How did ''High Charity'' manage to find the Ark's SECRET location?
==== ''Halo 2 Vista'' ====
But hey, [[nobody cares]] about the story anymore, it's all about [[Shit|teh awesomez flawless online multiplayer]].
A shitty port of ''Halo 2'' to the PC. It was exactly the same as ''Halo 2'' for the Xbox, except it has [[lie|better graphics]] and a [[shit nobody cares about|map editor]]. To get the ability to play a three year old Xbox game, all you had to do was downgrade to [[Vista|Shitsta]].
The Xbox Live multiplayer is exactly the same pile of horse manure as ''Halo 2'''s online, with the sole exception of a half-assed map editor with which you can't even edit the terrain or add all the objects. The maps and games all [[AVGN|suck baboon balls]]. And when you play matchmaking, once you go in to a game, you can't leave. So much like a visit from a rapist, no matter how much you kick and scream, [[rape|it's gonna happen]], and there's nothing you can do about it.
Microsoft tried to [[jew]] the community by claiming that ''Halo 2'' needed DirectX10 in order to run, which is why it required Vista. Deeply unamused, the community quickly released a patch which installed the game on XP with a framerate increase. Microsoft became butthurt and refused to release any more ''Halo'' games on PC.
Another [[fail|totally awesome]] addition to the third installation of the Halo series is the ability to take [[Screencap|screenshots]]. This is about the only new thing Bungie has to offer. Motherfucking screenshots. [[You]] can only imagine [[basement dweller|what kind of people actually utilize this feature]].
[[Shit nobody cares about|Johnson dies]]. By the final installment of the trilogy, you would think the story couldn't possibly get any more butchered... right? Wrong. There are so many plot holes and random shit happening that anyone who didn't throw his Xbox 360 into the trash is probably a casual to the highest degree.
|'''Accepting People Online'''<br/><youtube>6alOnuN-wCY</youtube>
}}</center>
To prove that Halo sucks more cock than [[Your mom|a whore on Viagra]], a cave-dwelling little [[Azn]] decided to record himself annoying the typical Halo player (see above). [http://www.youtube.com/user/HaloFuntage]
But hey, [[nobody cares]] about the story anymore, it's all about mindless zombie run'n'gun multiplayer! ''Halo 3'''s multiplayer, while much more polished than ''Halo 2'''s, still left much to be desired... or it least it would have, if the target demographic didn't have the collective attention span of a squirrel. Many of the old glitches were replaced by new "features," such as the ability to be killed by a traffic cone, despite the half-ton, energy-shielded armor suit you're wearing.
==Halo Wars==
Two new things that Bungie added were a map/gametype maker and the ability to record matches and make screenshots. The theater caused the internet to be flooded with incredibly shitty videos of 13-year-olds doing retarded things while trying to imitate the mosquito ringtone through their mics. ''Halo 3'''s map/gametype maker, while a good idea in theory, was crippled by Bungie's incompetence. Despite this, every person who had ever picked up an Xbox controller immediately set out to create the best maps and modes ever, which resulted in thousands of "super speed, low gravity, insta-death weapons" gametypes.
Halo Wars is a [[gay|faptastic]] RTS which is usually too [[Lie|difficult]] for the remaining [[Pie|95%]] of the Xbox [[retards|Population,]] even though is the simplest, dumbed down RTS game currently out on any system.
In Early 2009, due to [[Microsoft|Microshits]] awesome [[BDSM|partnership program]], they [[raped|dumped]] Ensemble Studios ass and left them to die in the burning depths of hell and faggotry.
Overall, the [[fags|developers]] got [[raped|kicked]] in the arse and the game was overall [[shit]]...unless of course, you weren't like the rest of the [[faggot]] population of xbox live and actually [[rage|HAD A FUCKIN BRAIN]]
=== ''Halo Wars'' ===
===Gameplay===
An attempt at making a fun console RTS. Despite being only slightly more complex than your average tower defense game, it was too much to handle for most of the Xbox Live crowd. Much rage and butthurt was directed at Bungie, despite the fact that Bungie didn't even make it.
The gameplay of almost every match consists solely of spamming specific types of units and initiating the all powerful [[Zerg Rush]]. There are no real strategies to the game and no point in trying to do anything unique or even trying to use some level of skill. Communication is restricted to Xbox Microphone, and considering all the [[Children|Players]] are usually too stupid to talk even if they have a mic, there is no point even plugging in yours and no way to Cooperate with teammates.
Not only does the actual gameplay suck, but Halo Wars features a broken, unsophisticated matchmaking system that often matches up [[noob]]s with high ranked [[assholes]] who play the game too much, resulting in most players getting pissed off, quiting games, and sending messages to the gamers they lose to. Not only this, but the matchmaking often matches up multiple [[faggot]] little [[children]] together playing the same unit. Because they are lazy fucktards with no mics, they both choose to make the same exact units, often leading to hell hole 3v3 games when you play by (or with) yourself in standard 3v3 games.
It quickly lost its playerbase due to the above-mentioned quality and the fact that each leader had a special power that, if spammed well enough, could win the game no matter what, which caused the few people who could play it to quit out of boredom.
===Downloadable Content===
=== ''Halo 3: ODST'' ===
After the game shipped on [[WTC|who the fuck cares]] day, fans were very [[pussy|hostile]] about the game not getting any updates or planned [[gimmick|Downloadable Content]], since the developer was fucking dead!
'''Gametypes'''
Eventually, some random assholes released DLC for Halo wars, and it sucked dick! The first DLC was game types. That's right mother fucker, game types. $10.00 hard earned dollars that you could spend on [[win|porn]], Microsoft expects you to pay to buy [[fail|GAME TYPES]] with. For [[dumbass]]es who do not know what this means... [[all_caps|GAMETYPES SHOULD BE FUCKING FREE]]. If you actually bought these, you have absolutely no FUCKING BRAINS.
'''Maps'''
[[Rage|Maps were eventually released for Halo Wars, and although not as big as a ripoff as the gametypes, they are still full of shit for their price tag. Those who actually bought the maps don't get matched up with anyone who owns them because no one owns them, because (once again) FAGGOT LITTLE]] [[thirteen_year_old_boy|CHILDREN]] [[rage|who have no BALLS infest the game like Captain Cutters bullshit ODST units. They don't have credit cards or money, only time to waste aggravating adults.]]
==Halo 3: ODST==
[[Image:Odst.png|thumb|All New Campaign - Same Shitty Game!]]
[[Image:Odst.png|thumb|All New Campaign - Same Shitty Game!]]
Halo 3: ODST is the latest offering of milk from the Halo cow. Bungie, like all other game companies, wanted to release an expansion pack as full priced games because they are assholes and bitches of [[Microsoft]]. Worried that the cocaine pile was getting low they set to work on a disc that's nothing more than a half-assed expansion based on the already half-assed Halo 3 game. It's a mini campaign complete with maps to a game you already bought.
You play as an OD<b>STD</b> [[FAIL|(Orgasmic Dick Sucking Transsexual dumbass)]] soldier. A regular, plain old boring ass human with no spartan super powers. Sounds exciting, doesn't it? No over shields, you die easy, you are a dime a dozen soldier, etc. Oh yea, the story line is also some random shit Bungie pulled out of their assholes. It has absolutely nothing to do with the books or anything. They just wanted to make more money so they added a random story line before the events of Halo 3. And since Bungie didnt write the books and no one ever read them, who the fuck cares anyway?
===Characters===
*'''Rookie Cookie''': Some mute trying to be like Gordon Freeman, he thinks he's awesome but he's not.
*'''Captain 'I DARE YOU'''': A random bitch who leads the squad. Raped the guy below and took his position, now she's the leader and tells a lot of men what to do. Looks like a horse with the personality of one to match
*'''Edward 'I just bucked you':''' The who does Malcom Reynolds from [[Firefly]]. The retard who lead the team before, had to give up his position to the bitch above for sucking so much. Fussed with Dare in the ship's crewberths, Dare pushed him on the bed to calm him down, and raped him. She had some hidden hypnotizing makeup on, now she makes him believe that she's the leader. One point later in the game, Dare fucks him right infront of the Rookie and Vergil.
*'''Dutchland:''' Some Dutch maniac who just wanted to be an ODST because he felt like it.
*'''African Lil' Romeo:''' Lil' Romeo's stupid African nigger dad, wants to be cool with the bitches, but they tell him to back off.
*'''ODST Mickey Mouse:''' Mickey Mouse decided to be Mickey Man, now he ended up like this and lost his ears. Was lowest ranked because he sucked so much.
*'''Sgt. Johnson:''' The cool nigga we always know and hated from the other games. Only in Firefight, to scared to show himself in Campaign cuz people would be freaked to see he's the twin brother of the one of Delta Halo.
*'''Stupid Intendent(more like Shitty Intendent)/Vergil Hawkins from Static Shock:''' Static Shock tripped himself into another universe, and ended up as the whole city himself. When Dare and Rookie found him, he was turned into an alien. He and Rookie watched Dare and Buck fuck eachother in the elevator.
*'''You:''' The retard who spent 80 bucks on a game about faggots tea-bagging each other.
===Graphics, HUD, and Sounds (technical shit)===
Halo 3: ODST runs off the same shitty engine that powered Halo 3. The graphics still suck and the controls are still outdated. Also, the HUD is retarded, giving you these stupid night vision mode goggles and other random stupid bullshit that is unnecessary in the Halo Universe. What ever happened to the good old flashlight like in Combat Evolved? The sounds are also shitty, replicating the annoying sounds of the covenant weapons, the annoying battle rifle, and the annoying covenant vehicles. Also, Halo 3: ODST re-uses a lot of the generic, very OLD Halo theme song with a couple of new instruments added. Same shit as Halo Wars and the Halo FPS sequels.
===Online Mode===
Halo 3: ODST comes with all the maps the original Halo 3 came with plus all the shitty Halo 3 maps you already paid for. That's right, you're paying for the same shit twice(or in my case....7 times). Let's not forget how crappy the Halo 3 maps were, either! Oh yea, but it does give you THREE NEW MAPS on top of the others, so you don't feel like a complete [[douchebag]] for wasting $60.00 on the same shit. Besides that, there's this stupid new Co-op mode called Fucker-fight. You have to fuck your enemies, and survive as long as you can.
'''TL;DR''': It's Halo 3 with more lens flare, no dual wielding and you take [[Rape|Fall damage.]]
Should you try playing the Matchmaking mode, this is what will inevitably be your experience:
First, you select your playlist, and by playlist I mean Rumble Pit or Social Slayer. Nobody plays the [[Shit nobody cares about|objective-based games]], except for [[13-year-old boys]] who play Action Sack for the [[stupid|HILARIOUS]] name. Several minutes will pass as it searches for a game, finds nine of the ten players required to play and then restarts its search.
When you do find a match, you will find that you have walked into a pointless [[swearing|argument]] between a stupid black person and a stupid [[wigger]], who also happen to be your teammates. You can mute them, but as annoying as they are, nigger/wigger arguments have extremely high potential for lulz.
If you crave disappointment, you can check to see the shitty map and game type you'll play and try to veto it, which will either [[fail]] or result in an even [[epic fail|shittier map and game type.]]
Finally, the game starts. The other team, who has already formulated a plan with several phases, will spawn near the power weapons and take them within thirty seconds. Your team, composed of [[you]], a nigger who claims to have committed various [[Church of Fudge|debauched sexual acts]] with [[your mom]], a wigger who, despite having the same personality and sexual history with your mom as the nigger, is diametrically opposed to everything he stands for, and a four year-old boy who says his balls "[[lolwut|dropped in your mothers mouth]]". You are fucked.
Your team (Blue, most likely) will waste no time in dropping their Battle Rifles for [[shit|dual magnums]] and rushing the enemy base, keeping as much space between them as possible. The Red Team scores twenty points in five minutes. When you make a pitiful attempt to score a point, you will either be [[rape|raped]] by every member of the other team, get killed by three Needler rounds or get run over by a Ghost piloted by a [[faggot|member of your team]] [[retard|who was too busy trying to eat his controller to see what he was doing.]]
Finally, the nigger quits, enraged that the wigger called him [[gay]] after the thirty-sixth time he told the wigger to [[gay|suck his dick or balls/eat his ass.]] Soon after, [[rape|Red Team wins 50 to 13.]]
A common misconception is that you are always playing against humans who cheat. This is not true. Your teammates and enemies are actually bots, because people realized long ago that [[true|Halo is shit]] and [[lie|stopped playing it.]] This is why, regardless of the levels of either team's players, your allies always play [[buttsex|the same.]] Even if your enemies are privates and your team is made entirely of generals, everyone on your team will [[rimjob|suck ass]]. [[BAW|Dead babies play Halo better than a Rank 4 General on your team.]]
===Typical Online Players===
<video type="youtube" id="dG42S_PmRs4&feature=related" width="540" height="406" desc="This is your typical player online player, not all have hit puberty yet of course." frame="true" position="center"/>
<video type="youtube" id="ZYzt8qfCBQg&feature=related" width="540" height="406" desc="This is your typical player online player, not all have hit puberty yet of course." frame="true" position="center"/>
<video type="youtube" id="av7RbMAgjMk&feature=related" width="540" height="406" desc="Your typical player on Halo 1, fortunately there is no voice talk. " frame="true" position="center"/>
<video type="youtube" id="ZDXv8mMsoHA&feature=channel" width="540" height="406" desc="What happens when a 13 year old G gets his hands on a copy of Halo 3 and Sony Vegas 8. BR FTW MLG G" frame="true" position="center"/>
==Halo: Reacharound==
{{Spoiler|THE WHOLE TEAM DIES ONE BY ONE, NOBLE 6 BOMBS SOME RANDOM COVENENT SHIP AND THE LAST MISSION IS A FIREFIGHT MISSION WHERE WHEN YOU DIE THREE ELITES COME TO RAPE NOBLE 6 AND HE THEN DIES! AND THEN [[Pretty Cool Guy|HALO]] [[wat|FINDS HALO AT THE END!]]}}
[[File:Haloreachxboxmarketplace.png|thumb|250px| [http://marketplace.xbox.com/en-US/games/media/66acd000-77fe-1000-9115-d8024d53085b/?p=1&of=6&bt=0&sb=1&did=f0000001-0000-4000-8000-00004d53085b New Low Price amirite!] ]]
'''TANK>Everything'''
lulz
Halofags are excited because now they can use jetpacks!!!1! (As if Gaylo wasn't gimmicky enough) And CODfags say that armor abilities are copying perks, and it's true, but no one gives a shit because COD stole from Halo, and Halo stole from just about everywhere else.
Also included in Reacharound is the ability to make maps, called Forge World. This allows 13 year-old boys to create all sorts of fuck-ups and sorry excuses for levels. Of course, if you're playing Gaylo in the first place, you don't have the attention span to build an argument, let alone a map (says the SDF tard that thinks ModNation Racers is better).
[[Shit nobody cares about|BUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOU CAN DRIVE A FORKLIFT TRUCK!!!!!]]
'''TL;DR''' Halo ODST and COD:MW2
== Characters of Reacharound ==
*'''Carter''': No nonsense [[Guido|Douchebag]]. Leader of [[Retards|Noble Team]]. He dies because he [[an hero|an heros]] for your miserable life by [[9/11|crashing his pelican dropship into a Scarab.]]
*'''Kat''': Some bitch who doesnt stfu and who likes to touch and hax everything, lost her right arm because she gave Carter a handjob and he came on her face. She dies by getting shot by a needle rifle round. Lulz. After she dies, [[you]] decide to drag her body off the battlefield for [[necrophilia|later use]]. When Reach first [[came]] out, snapshots of her ass were always at the top of the "Top Downloads" list, which is not surprising given that the average Halofag spends too much time in the basement to talk to women and also fucks their sister.
*'''Jun''': Bald guy with a [[France|weirdass accent]] and who loves to shoot at rocks. Jun has the shooting ability of an autistic 5 year old retarded monkey who just did 20 kilo's of cocaine and then fucked his sister. Went off with Halsey and [[Shit nobody cares about|nobody knows where or what has happened to him.]]
*'''Emile''': <s>black person</s> Nigger with a [[Fail|cool]] skull helmet and [[Dildo|knife]]. Gets stabbed by an Elite with an energy sword.
*'''Jorge''': Big-ass bearded guy with big-ass gun. Will [[internet toughguy|fuck you up]]. Kills himself in Covenant ship to save Reach by blowing it up, but more, even larger ships came like an endless swarm of [[nigras]].
*'''Noble Six''': [[You]], Talks less than a mute retard. Gang raped by [[dinosaurs|elites]] at the end. Plays online to continueously bash fags and big up <s>Ha</s>Gaylo as the greatest thing EVAR!!
==Weapons==
With each passing halo game comes [[shit|brand new exciting weapons]] so Bungie can actually look like they are doing something. You have a wide variety of faggoty weapons, equipment and grenades. Each weapon in Reacharound looks exactly like weapons in the last 500 Halo games, only they suck more cock.
===Human Weapons and equipment===
They are preferred the most because we like rooting for the home team.
*'''The Assault Rifle (GayR):''' This was first to arrive in Halo 1, but no one used it due to the 1337 pistol. [[Shit nobody cares about|Because nobody used it]], it was omitted from Halo 2. [[Baw|Fan boys complained, however, and it arrived back in Halo 3 to not be used again]]. Since it is the most skill-oriented weapon in the human arsenal, it is the default starting weapon in all default gametypes, and rightly so. The Halo 3 version was originally planned to include a 14x scope due to its effective range while fired fully-automatic, but this plan was scrapped shortly before launch.
*'''Magnum:''' '''THE''' greatest weapon in gaming history. In Halo 1, the pistol killed you faster than you could say [[Rage|"FUUUU"]], and if you looked at it hard enough, [[LOL WUT|it grew a scope]]. It was used in every Halo game after, but it sucked dick because of the BR. The M6 Magnum is famous for being the most imbalanced weapon in Halo history, and for being the first and only reason for people to complain why they absolutely cannot stand the most recent Halo title; so that not every 13-year-old adolescent smart enough to not hold down the trigger while aiming somewhere in the vicinity of an enemy's head through a scope that doesn't actually exist can't take down someone in 3 shots from the far side of sidewinder. In Halo: Reacharound, Bungie took these complaints into consideration, placing a scope on the M6 pistol in hopes of shutting up those who complained for years about how much they hated Halo 2 and 3. But they didn't realize until it was too late that they didn't make the pistol (or the game) nearly easy enough for people to stop their bitching.
*'''Battle Rifle (1337 4 SH0T!):''' [[Fox News|The most fair and balanced]] weapon in the game. This weapon is why every player in Halo is so gay when in comes to camping/non MLG game types. [[Shit nobody cares about|They think strategic playing is only using a weapon that kills in 4 shots to the head. They fail to realize that there is no strategy involved in Halo, only skill]]. This is why they end up getting pwned by the guy with a shotgun and bawing about it.
*'''Sniper Rifle (Camping Rifle):''' [[Truth|Don't know how to melee/BR/use grenades/play in general? You're in luck because like every FPS, Halo has an over-powered sniper rifle! It is basically a semi-automatic with a 10x scope attached that 1-shots to the head. Very easy to use. If you use this weapon, you are nothing more than a camping faggot that has to hide behind his team and shoot from far away to get kills.]]
*'''Shotgun (Troll Rifle):''' Hated by every "pro" player in the game. Use this weapon as much as possible as a trolling method. Bonus points if you're in Team slayer and you get MVP by using nothing but it. Then proceed to shit talk the other team and your own in the lobby for sucking so much.
*'''SMG (Shitty Machine Gun):''' This weapon replaced the AR in Halo 2. It has a range of, like, -3 feet or something, and can be dual-weilded. Also sounds like a broken airsoft gun. Bonus points if you kill someone with overshields with a SMG-Plasma Rifle combo.
*'''Rocket Lawn Chair:''' What every team will be fighting for at the start of the game. Used only to kill yourself.
*'''Grenades:''' spam them as much as possible. '''Fun Fact:''' Grenades have done more friendly fire damage then regular damage in Halo 3.
*'''Spartan Laser [[Shoop Da Whoop|(SHOOP AND WHOOP)]]:''' No description needed.
*'''Turret:''' Another good way to troll MLG players. Boy they're whiny little bitches aren't they?
*'''Flamethrower:''' A very good weapon because it gives you the satisfaction of [[Kill it with fire|KILLING IT WITH FIRE]].
*'''Melee:''' [[Falcon Punch|FALCON PAAAAWWWWNCH!!!]], [[lolwut|two punches does more damage than 30 bullets from an assault rifle]]
*'''Missile Pod:''' Perfect for getting rid of [[Bike|dat nigga who stole yo banshee]].
*'''Flag:''' [[unfunny|It's next to the headlight fluid]].
*'''Traffic Cone:''' [[LOL WUT|LOL WUT]]. Some serious shit, dont diss the trafic cone, it will '''FUCK YOU UP'''.
*'''Tripmine:''' Bound to make your enemies [[Rage|"FUUU"]]. Even though it is generally useless, you can sometimes get that double kill when you enemies are too blind and deaf to hear the warnings of the deadly tripmine. [[LOL WUT|It's physically incapable of killing someone on foot but can still blow up a tank]]. If you see your teammate's mine, be sure to [[an hero]] and kick him [[for the lulz]], thus causing your team to lose because you're down one player. But that doesn't matter because kicking that guy was the funniest thing since [[9/11|WTC]].
*'''The Tea-Bag:''' [[Butthurt|As if this game wasn't gay enough, this weapon became the most commonly used weapon in the game, though not actually a weapon, it allows you to show your true superiority in terms of faggotry.]]
*'''The Bingo Wheel:''' A troll's ultimate weapon for forge matches. It is acquired in forge by placing 2 trip mine spawns next to each other and set them for immediate respawn. Then you get a partner troll to spin an open box so the open side always faces you. You then proceed to toss [[over 9000]] trip mines into the spinning box. Eventually, the super fortified halo box will start ejecting mines through its edges. Not only does this lag the piss out of even a local forge match, but it overloads the map, causing everything to disappear.
===ODST Weapons===
ODST have to have special stealth weapons due to the fact that they can't run out into battle like a crazy retard absorbing bullets like some sponge and then [[Call of Duty 4|hide behind a wall for five seconds and repeat]].
*'''Silenced SMG:''' Shitty machine gun that shoots quiet bullets. Whoopdee-fucking-doo.
*'''M6S:''' The Halo 2 magnum in the guise of the Halo 1 magnum.
===Cock-venant Weapons and Equipment===
Generally not used because all Covenant weapons suck. You must wonder how a futuristic race cannot even make weapons better than more primative weapons that fire lead.
*'''Plasma Rifle:''' Pretty good in Halo 1. Only good in the other Halo games if used with a combo because they can't kill shit by themselves. Not even zombies. Has even worse aim than the Ass Rifle.
*'''Plasma Pistol (I'M SAMUS!):''' This weapon is the shittiest [[evar]]. However, it has its upside as you can charge up the blast to knock out all the other players' shields. Yet another good trolling method against MLG if you then pull out your BR and one shot him in the face.
*'''Cock-venant Carbine:''' This weapon is .05 seconds faster than the BR, however no one uses it. Just goes to show you how gay the BR is.
*'''Needler (Noobler):''' This weapon has both homosexuality and down syndrome. It fires pretty [[Faggotry|pink needles]] at the rate of 30 miles per hour. However, don't fuck with someone in Halo 3 if they have this weapon because the needles it fires will make [[you]] explode if they shove enough of them up your ass. Has a range of only 30 feet, any closer or farther away and it's useless. Also if you don't hit them with enough shots to kill them it does absolutely no damage.
*'''Beam Rifle:''' Just as gay as the human sniper except no one uses it.
*'''Fuel Rod Cannon:''' Not used in Matchmaking due to its pwnage.
*'''Energy Sword:''' Preferred weapon for Elites (which is probably why they got pwned in all the wars) and whiny children who can't kill with any other weapon, the energy sword is a camper's delight. Allows you to lunge [[Over 9000]] feet and defy gravity. You can pretend all the other weapons matter, but let's get real; this is the only weapon you'll ever fucking use.
*'''Plasma Grenade:''' [[Cock|Sticky blue balls]] that allow you to kill your enemy with more lulz. Throw them at people and they attach like an angry cat. They attatch themselves to an enemy using cum and are a great way to make [[Gay|MLG]] players go FUUUUU!. Ever since Bungie included armor lock in reacharound, sticky grenades have since became completely and utterly useless.
*'''Mauler:''' It's the same as the shotgun except it's allowed in MLG game types. [[Serious Business|Srsly WTF]]. Originally planned to include a 8x scope but was scrapped shortly before launch.
*'''Spiker:''' The worst weapon in Halo 3. Try and kill someone with this and you'll fail miserably.
*'''Brute Shot:''' Pretty good weapon that shoots balls of exploding [[shit]] at your enemies. Don't use it too close to your enemy or else you'll involuntarily become [[an hero|an hero]].
*'''Spike Grenade:''' Same as plasma except they stick to walls and generate more [[Lulz|lulz]].
*'''Gravity Hammer:''' Same as the sword except your enemies fly farther.
*'''Fire Bomb:''' [[Kill it with Fire|KILL IT WITH FIRE]].
*'''Bubble Shield:''' A giant boob that protects you from everything except other players coming inside the shield to pwn you and enemy vehicles because apparently vehicles and bullets arent made out of the same fucking metal.
*'''Flare:'''"Blinds" your enemies even though you can still see their fucking gamertag above them.
*'''Radar Jammer:''' As if your radar doesn't fail already, this will fuck with your head.
*'''Regenerator:''' Only used to troll people not using 1-hit kill weapons. In other words, useless. Also its for fags and cock lovers that suck to much at the game to stay alive longer than 5 seconds.
*'''Power Drain:''' Used to drain only you and your teams health since you'll most likely fail at throwing it.
*'''Overshield:''' Makes your shields power level [[Over 9000|over 9000]]. Also for cock lovers who can't stay alive. Watch out though, because a [[Fisting|punch to the back will kill you.]]
*'''Active Camo:''' [[Sarcasm|You are completely invisible to all players and it lasts for a long time.]] Active camo is about as useful as a horses cock at a lesbians convention. if you move any faster than your 90 year old whore grandmother, the active camo becomes completely useless. although is it fun for trolling with the sniper rifle lulz.
*'''Sc(arab) Gun''' Some dickweed Covenant soldier decided it would be a good idea to leave an overkill weapon on a building in the enemy planet. If you have absolutely no life, you've probably fired this gun. The only way to obtain it is to [[Fellatio|convince]] a Banshee pilot to let you borrow the damn thing, then fly it through a [[Anus|small tunnel]]. If you're stupid enough, you'll also come across a large soccer ball that does fucking nothing.
===Foreskinner Weapons===
*'''Sentinel beam:''' Piece of shit. No wonder those ancient faggots were killed by a bunch of fucking zombies. It's not included in matchmaking.
===Halo:Reach Weapons===
The new weapons in the game based on observation and interviews.
*'''Grenade Launcher(Poop Pipe):''' [[obvious|Launches grenades]]. Has an alternate fire mode, but you'll never see that used because it can't be spammed.
''Halo 3: ODST'' was a typical Jewish scheme to [[ipod|sell somebody the same product twice with a new package]]. Basically, it was ''Halo 3'' without energy shields.
*'''Concussion Rifle:''' The Brute Shot if it looked like a buttplug and had four extra shots of exploding shit. Annoying and cheap to fight against.
*'''Designated Marksman Rifle:''' Replacement for the Battle Rifle because it sucked too bad in the last two games. The DMR is also a hit scan weapon which should mean it has no bullet travel time, although Bungie somehow found a way to make it worse than the BR. It also fires as slowly as your 80 year old grandpa fucks his 20 year old niece and is really gay just like Bungie.
*'''Combat Knife & Carved Knife:''' Sharp blades of metal that you can use to [[cut]] people...or [[pain|yourself]]. In a nutshell, its fucking awesome.
*'''Needle Rifle:''': If the needler and the carbine got it on, this would be their [[downs syndrome|baby]]. It also takes around 90 shots to kill someone with and if ever in a 1v1 with a DMR cock sucker, you will die.
*'''Plasma Repeater:''' Same as the [[Cock|plasma rifle]] except it fires [[Cum|plasma]] faster than you can throw [[Tits|snowballs]] this time. Its also completely useless in Reacharound and nobody uses it.
*'''Plasma Launcher:''' The Covenant rocket launcher. It sends [[balls|blue balls]] of rape that chase after you and explode. I've only seen this piece of shit on 1 map and nobody knew where the fuck it was.
*'''Target Locator:''' Point this at some unfortunate [[13 year old boy]] and he will be smitten by God. Or shove it up your ass and feel the vibrations.
*'''Focus Rifle:''' Useful version of the sentinel beam with a scope. Not as "pro" as the sniper rifle. It sucks cock.
*'''Assassination Kills:''' Not exactly a weapon, but just as useless. [[Gears of War|For some reason]], Bungie thinks it's cool to show a five-second clip of you [[rape|stabbing]] an enemy instead of just [[buttsecks|bonking]] the fucker and moving on to the next one. Because reacharound is the biggest flop ever and they needed assassination kills to make the game not suck as hard.
===Vehicles===
=== ''Halo: Reach'' ===
Human vehicles mostly suck.
*'''Mongoose:''' The worst, crappiest vehicle in the whole halo series. Basically a quad bike with shitty brakes and no gun. Has two seats so the enemy gets a double kill when it's eventually blown up.
*'''Warthog:''' Human middle class vehicle. A big car with a big fucking gun on the back. Three types - The machine gun, which sucks ass, the rocket hog, which sucks even more ass, as the rockets to marginaly more damage than throwing [[jello]] at your enemy. Third is a gauss, which is not using in matchmaking due to it's pwnage.
*'''Scorpion:''' Perhaps the only decent human vehicle, this is a huge [[tank]] which shoots massive shells that kill everything, but moves slowly than your dead grandmother.
*'''Falcon:''' A shitty double bladed helicopter which has two guns, neither of which face forward, and are not operated by the driver. So if your flying solo get ready to be [[pwned]].
Cockvenant vehicles are less shit, but still suck.
Microsoft finally decided to cash in on the [[Call of Duty|Cock of Duty]] bandwagon by making CoD with energy shields, AKA ''Halo: Reach''.
*'''Ghost:''' A decent vehicle, like a mini hovercraft with double guns that are useless, so just use it to run over people like a [[nigger]] on crack.
*'''Revenant:''' Big hovercraft with a big gun that will fuck your shit up. Go figure.
*'''Wraith:''' HUEG hovercraft almost as big as teh xbox itself. Fires a huge gun which blows shit up, but the bullet moves so fucking slow your enemies can see it coming and GTFO.
*'''Banshee:''' What everyone will be fighting for at the start of a game. For lulz, wait with a rocketlauncher and blow it up when it spawns before yo team gets in.
=='''[[Call of duty 4|Perks]]:'''==
=== ''Halo: Combat Evolved 2.0'' ===
*'''Sprinting:''' Not really an armor upgrade. It just gives your character enough brain cells to figure out how to run. While sprinting, you also cannot [[cum|shoot]]
Another attempt by Bill Gates to copy Steve Jobs' marketing strategy. Comparable to OOT's Master Quest.
*'''Armor Lock:''' Makes your character useless for 8 seconds. Will deploy an EMP blast, [[lie|but nobody's stupid enough to stand near you]]. Its also abused more than whitney houston and is a major crutch for all the autistic faggots born without thumbs that play this fucking game. Armor lock also single handedly destroyed Reach and thats why nobody plays it anymore.
*'''[[Trolling|Jet Pack]]:''' Allows you be be more of a pussy to your team. Its also good for alerting all your enemies of your presence, thus allowing them to direct all 8 of there cumshots onto your face. Swallowing is optional.
*'''Active Camo:''' Allows you to sneak up and [[Team Fortress 2|sap sentries]] at the expense of your hearing.
*'''[[barrel roll|Evade]]''' Another derp ability for elites. More brain cells are added and you now have the ability to [[lol|roll]]. You can only roll twice though because anymore and your retarded elite's brain might short circuit.
*'''[[copypasta|Hologram]]:''' It sends a clone of yourself running directly into enemy fire, then it stands still. If it gets shot, it vanishes. [[Retard|Surprising, it works 99% of the time]]
*'''Drop Shield:''' Same thing as the bubble shield, except blue, and it explodes if you punch it.
==Friends and Enemies==
=== ''Halo 4'' ===
===Friends===
After 4 years of chronic [[masterbation]], Chief wakes up in the shipwreck from the last game and finds himself crashing into Requiem. A giant robot planet with giant robot [[orgies]] and plants. Masterchief awakens [[Hitler|the Didact]], who is this [[oldfag]] that commits mass [[lollercaust]] to build his army of robots. A big [[dildo]] ship called ''Infinity'' crashes on the planet and fucks off again because [[Faggot|Captain Del Rio]] is a [[pussy]]. [[Scientology|The Covenant unite with their gods]], Chief pwns the Didact with a [[Cock|grenade]] to the [[Mouth|face]], Cortana dies, fanboys bawww.
*'''[[Army|Marines]]''' These dumb mother fuckers enjoy long walks on the beach, driving into rocks, driving off cliffs, shooting at rocks and generally shooting at anything besides the enemy. They stroke Master Chief's massive cock any chance they get and even have wet dreams about him. They rely on him to save there asses through out the whole game and have no idea what there doing. There also A bunch of gay sailors and [[You have no friends|your only team mates.]] Don't even try to say the elites were on your side in the 3rd game, we all know you just used them for meat-sheilds and target practice. The marines are competely fucking useless, even on easy. All they do is scream whenever they get shot and run out into fire like [[retards]]. Sometimes they will say something stupid, like "Are you made of Leperchuans? Cuz that was awesome!" Really. That is one of their many awful lines in Halo 2. Oddly enough, only the [[Mexican]] marines say it.
===Enemies===
The Campaign is continued with Spartan Ops. A shitty episodic series which is nothing more than [[Call of Duty|coop firefight with less replayability and a generic objective]]. Repeated [[over 9000]] times!
*'''[[Dinosaurs|Elites]]''' The backbone [[military]] force of the [[Scientology|Covenant]] empire. The manual for each game and the books say that these pricks are smart. '''Bullshit.''' Just like every other person in the game, they will run into enemy fire like they were some [[white]] [[bitch]] trying to catch a stream of [[cum]] being lovingly administered by some random black person. In the second game they got their stupid asses booted out of their [[cult]] when they found out that [[Scientology|the religion that they loved and worshiped was bullshit]]. They came crying to humans to save their sorry asses, and we did, but only because we were getting [[pwned]] too. All you have to do to kill one is grab a plasma pistol and a magnum, shoot the plasma pistol once, and then get a headshot with the magnum.
The cinematic story runs aside the missions and goes as follows. ''Infinity'' fucks back to Requiem after crying for 6 months around Earth. Spartans go full [[lollercaust]] on covis and prometheans. Palmer is a bitch to Halsey, resulting in having Halsey's [[oldfag]] arm shot off, and captured by [[Scientology|the Covenant]] along with half of a special key that tells you where the Forerunner's secret [[weed]] stash is. Also, [[WTF|Requiem plummets into sun]] and [[Michael Bay|ends in a big explosion]].
*'''[[Monkey|Brutes]]''' After the [[dinosaurs]] were removed from office, these [[fat]] fucks came in to replace them. These guys are even easier to kill than elites because they don't have shields, so all you have to do is get in a headshot or two.
If you try to play the multiplayer, you will find yourself foaming from the mouth in rage. If you somehow manage to get a high K/D in the game, you will constantly be playing against MLG faggots that try their hardest to ruin the game for others and will make you rage so hard that you will become extremely violent in person and will kill anyone that gets in your way.
*'''[[Midget|Grunts]]''' The dumbest enemy AI I have ever seen in a video game ever. They serve no purpose and are used as meat shields by the Elites and Brutes. Who would have thought that these Wizard of Oz munchkin rejects would actually be the smartest enemies in the whole damn game? However, they are still the most useless enemies in the game. They will do nothing but hide behind random things while they cry and [[shit]] themselves. On the rare occasion that they decide to shoot you, they will miss. Killing a nearby Brute/Elite makes them run away.
If you want to break all of your controllers and even your Xbox, or become an enraged mass murdering killing machine, this is the game for you.
*'''[[Furry|Jackals]]''' The greatest [[trolls]] in the game. They will hide behind sheilds and shoot at you, draining your energy sheilds [[at least 100]] times faster than other enemies, while the only thing you can do to beat them is grenade [[spam]]. In other words, they are really fucking easy to kill.
To add to it being the most infuriating game ever, it is also the most broken game ever. [[343 Industries|343i]] studios (fun fact, 343i translates to the largest collection of retards on the planet) is incapable of making a simple proper kill cam system (which even the chimps that make call of d00ty have figured out how to make work), they are incapable of balancing weapons, incapable of launching proper updates to fix the game, they are so boring that they copy COD garbage, thought that ordinance was some how a good idea, and are so bad at making maps that they some how managed to fuck up Valhalla from ''Halo 3''. The worse fuck up that 343i thought was a good idea was the ranking system, which completely ruins the game all on its own. Nobody knows how it works. You can be the starting level in multiplayer and you can be still be placed in games against +100 SR level no-lives, in which they will then start raping your asshole into a bloody pulp. If you are some how able to get a high K/D, multiply the previous sentence by a thousand.
*'''[[Steroids|Skirmishers]]''' Basicly a bunch of Jackals with an overdose of steroids making them a bitch to shoot as they [[Asians|CLIMB UP FUCKING WALLS]].
Not only is the multiplayer completely and utterly broken, but Spartan Ops takes the word "broken" to a whole other level. 343i thought it be a good idea to copy maps straight out of the campaign and pass them off in Spartan Ops, where you will play on the same maps 20+ times in a row. To make that boring, repetitive situation even worse, 343i thought it be a good idea to make elites 8 feet tall ninjas with shields more powerful than the bullet proof armor that you would find on a modern day tank. Not only is that annoying when it comes to a single elite, to make things worse 343i has no sense of balance when it comes to how much AI you will play at once, so when ever you have to go against an elite, you will find yourself fighting off several armadas of elites, along side entire armies of grunts and jackals, and if you're lucky, 4+ hunters all at once.
*'''[[Killdozer|Hunters]]''' They are made out of lots of [[cocks|worms]] and go in pares due to fuck-buddy reasons. These giant faggots take [[at least 100]] shots to kill but the covenant to [[retarded]] to find out how to cover up the [[butts|backs]] of them. This means you can just keep [[fisting|punching]] the fuck out of their [[butts|backs]] until they die.
Words cant describe whats its like trying to play against entire space-time bending, intergalactic Promethean empires.
*'''[[Zerg Rush|Drones]]''' These things are hard as hell to kill. They die in one hit, but there are [[over 9000]] of them each time you fight them. They fly around like little pricks and are a [[bitch]] to try and hit.
Oh and eggheads.
*'''[[Terrorists|Engineers]]''' Used to heal the enemies around them. If you shoot them they will explode. If you don't, they will leave you alone. Of course, [[you]] being the [[retard]] that you are, will probably shoot them because [[ALL CAPS|THEY ARE SO FUCKING SHINY KILL IT!!!]]
=== ''Halo 5: Guardians'' ===
==Master Chief==
So it's been a few months since Chief fucked up [[Oldfag|Didact]] and lost his blue cybernetic sex doll, and he's been palling around with his bros and hos on vacation (i.e. shoving their fists down alien scums' throats; love what you do!). But it turns out that even in death the blue chick won't leave him alone and tells him to get his ass to Meridian, a colony of hicks who keep reminding you that the South will rise again.
The Master Chief, aka ''Master Queef'', ''Captain King'' or ''Master Chef'', is some sort of futuristic cross between [[300|Leonidas]], and [[Mecha-Hitler]], and is a [[fag|pretty cool guy]] because eh kills aleins and doesn't afraid of anything. He's equipped with a half ton full body armor that amplifies strength, has energy shields, and a slot for an AI/USB flash drive, but [[Irony|ironically]] offers zero protection from bullets. Indeed, a [[fellatio|single shot to the head]] will penetrate the futuristic helmet, and will instantly kill him, [[buttsecks|as will a light tap to his back]], but that is ok as he will just respawn in like 5 sec anyway as well as there is a new checkpoint every fucking 5 meters or so. It is also thought that one of his weaknesses may be [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCdtnnwOUA0&feature=dir Head-On.]Master chief also has the ability to [[mexicans|jump higher than most planes can safety fly]], which is even more fucking retarded because of the amount of armor that motherfucker wears.
Meanwhile, there's another squad of super-special Spartans, Fireteam Osiris, who also get their lulz in the mass murder of space Muslims. Made up of a Brute, Buck the ODST-turned-sellout, and two vaginas (a black chick and a girl who keeps flooding her armor whenever she thinks about sweet sangheili cock), they're tasked with finding the AWOL Blue Team and bringing them to justice. They follow Chief to the South-in-Space, where an AI with alzheimers alternates between insulting the demigods and crying for their help, before confronting Cortana's fucktoy Warden Eternal and then Chief and Co. themselves. After breaking Chief's glasses, the Brute gets the absolute shit kicked out of him by the pissed off Space Jesus who hitches a ride on a [[Neon Genesis Evangelion|Guardian]] and leaves Osiris to think about what they've done.
<center><gallery>Image:KaptainKing.jpg|Captain King
So we all knew Cortana wouldn't stay dead, right? Like, who didn't. But what we didn't know was that she would come back as a [[Nazi]] bent on bringing [[Slavery|peace]] and [[Communism|order]] to the galaxy. So Chief has to fight his way through Warden's legions (how is she planning on ruling the galaxy when she can't even control one horny Ultron knockoff?) to reach her while she reminds him how sweet dat robo pussy is. When Chief finds her he tells her to cut the shit and get back in the kitchen, but she puts him and his pals inside a big floating soccerball for a 10,000-Year nap until she whips things into shape.
Meantime, Osirirs visits Arbiter, who as it turns out, also gets his kicks shoving a long, hard sword deep into the Covenant's quivering, warm flesh. And after a few years of being the butt of the official galactic pastime, there's only one place left where the dirty Muslims can hide; so you get to help the biggest hunk on Sanghelios put the absolute beatdown on the last Covie bastards while hijacking a Guardian to find Chief and apologize for being so disrespectful. Despite Warden and his army fucking shit up, and Vale distracting Arbiter's troops with blowjobs and creampies, you manage to climb aboard and head off while Arbiter's troops finish buttfucking Covies as they beg for mercy.
After [[faggots|Bungie]], having realized what a [[AIDs]] covered [[shit|turd]] they had crapped out, left the Halo series in the caring [[jew ]]hands of Microsoft and the newly spawned 343 Industries; [http://xbox360.ign.com/articles/117/1172941p1.html| Halo 4 was announced] at E3 2011. As if we didn't have enough 12 year olds on the internet. Along with this being an obvious [[sellout|cash-in]], numerous canon issues have already surfaced. Issues which are sure to have [[fanboys]] foaming at the mouth with rage, or creaming their pants with glee CoDfag style. It is likely that much lulz maybe had by trolling Halofag forums about either these details, or any speculation about the game. These issues include, but are not limited to: jetpack, wierd-ass pistol and attatchement, different armor,and the giant planet construct. Alongside Halo 4, a remastered version of Halo: CE was announced. It promises to be pretty <s>good</s> [[shit]] <s>because Halo 1 was pretty good</s> [[HAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS]].
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
[[I Am In Your Base Killing Your D00ds|They get to Cortana's base]] and meet Guilty Spark's less-retarded sister, who immediately captured the fanbases' hearts by tossing you a tank and gushing over how good you are at killing bitches. You fight your way through robots and Covies who are too busy cumming over being in heaven to realize they just got royally rekt by Galactic Hunk #1 Thel 'Vadam, and manage to snag Chief and Co. while Cortana flies away in a [[RAGE]] to take over Earth and beyond with her army of Death Star-sized angels. In the end, Chief gets together with his bro Arbiter and mother/kidnapper to discuss how best to make Cortana chill out.
|<center><big>'''You and your reaction to Halo 4'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>TE45McSXU48</youtube></center>
<br>
==Halo 2.0==
Commonly referred to as the best Halo yet.
Hungry for more money, Bungie went to George Lucas for advice. Like Lucas has done with his movies, Bungie has now decided to take the best game they made and fuck it all up with cheesy graphics and "remastered" campaign levels. Hence, Halo Anniversary was born. Along with unnecessary enhanced graphics, it includes the shitty maps that made it into Halo PC and not into the original version, moar graphics, online co-op, lens flare effects, moar graphics, and a Master Chief that looks like it was shat out of a graphic designer's asshole. According to Bungie, the changes they've made to the game are just enhancements that are purely tasteful, and they have not significantly changed the game at all. Even though the trailer shows that Halo Anniversary is clearly a completely different game.
Halo Anniversary will be released sometime in November.
=== ''Halo: Infinite'' ===
In true 343i fashion the story was yet again retconned and totally thrown out the window with this supposed sequel to Halo 5. Everyone's dead except Master Chief and a Hungarian bum who was named [[Cringe|'Brohammer']] by the [[Retards|Halo community]]. For whatever reason Master Chief woke up in space next to a Halo ring, the Guardians from the previous games are totally gone and instead the main villain is now a Brute who's in cahoots with the one from Halo Wars 2, so expect a lot of players coming from Halo 5 and who don't like RTS games to not understand shit.
==Novels==
<center><youtube>qZpQoeHobFQ</youtube></center>
[[Image:WTF1.png|thumb|left|The idea of what happens at the end of the game series.]]
[[image:GAY.jpg|thumb|right|A [[typical]] Major League Gamer.]]
Not only did this [[retard]]ed game make it on some kind of bestseller list, but a bunch of [[ass]]holes thought it would be funny or something to kill some trees for this Master of [[teh]] [[ghey]]. The [[book]]s include:
== Characters ==
===Halo: The Fall of Reach===
=== Main Characters ===
A bunch of little whiny [[skript kiddie|six-year olds]] [[fail]] at saving a planet from complete [[pwnage]].
===Halo Graphic Novel===
[[Image:Master chief.jpg|thumb|Master Chief was [[Pedobear|abducted as a child]] to become a super soldier.]]
''Halo'' characters Bungie didn't care enough about to make stories for now have their own book. That's really it. Just a bunch of drawing. Oh, and there's [[porn]] in it. Drawn [[porn]]. Tentacle [[porn]] going into child anus with Master [[faggot|Queef]] watching over them with a huge metallic phallus. Yeah. Go buy it.
===Halo: The Flood===
* '''Master Chief:''' [[Pretty cool guy]] who has a shield that absorbs damage to make up for the fact that his billion-dollar, half-ton, state-of-the-art armor suit can't even stop handgun rounds.
The game put into a [[book]]. YAWN. Oh, and sometimes the [[faggot]] aliens point of views are shown but nobody cares because they die soon anyway.
* '''Cortana:''' Annoying bitch whose job it is to be the Master Chief's Navi. Dies in the fourth game, is resurrected as a surrogate antagonist in the fifth game, and resurrected again in the sixth.
* '''Captain Keyes:''' A wise old captain. Dies in the first game due to being assimilated into the [http://halo.wikia.com/wiki/Proto-Gravemind Proto-Gravemind].
* '''Sargent Johnson:''' A sassy [[nigger]]. Dies in the third game.
* '''343 Guilty Spark:''' A [[gay]] robot that floats around. Is jealous that he can't be Master Chief's Navi. Dies in the third game.
* '''Miranda Keyes:''' Typical woman pilot. Dies in the third game.
* '''The Arbiter:''' A small dinosaur that you get to control. Becomes an atheist after listening to [[Richard Dawkins]] and turns on the Covenant. Voted "Sexiest Person of All Time"; capable of making women cum just by ordering them to make him a damn sandwich. Can cause enemies to defect just by flexing his pecs (it's canon, look it up).
* '''The Prophets:''' [[Catholic]] priests who get bored with molesting grunts and decide to blow up the universe. Were once "Sexiest Species in the Galaxy" before the Forerunners came along, shot down their brothels, and made them start worshiping old people. Thanks, Forerunners.
* '''[[Flood Detected|Gravemind]]:''' Audrey II.
===Halo: First [[Strike]]===
=== Friends and Enemies ===
Note: This is NOT the first of the series of books, even though it is called the FIRST [[strike]]. Fagtards, you will be confused. The same [[skript kiddie|six-year olds]] blow up a gigantic space station whose [[leet|1337]] [[skill|skillz]] are naught.
===Halo: Contact Harvest===
==== Friends ====
The following is an actual excerpt from the book, it is not fanfiction:
:''She put her hands on Avery's shoulders and pushed him onto his back. Sitting astride his ankles, Jilan helped him with his pants. Then she crept upward, planted her hands on either side of Avery's head, and began to move.''
:''Avery was instantly entranced by the back-and-forth sway of her bosom. He cupped the weight of her in his hands and knew at once he'd made a tactical error. The heavy roundness of Jilan's skin started an ache that crept up his legs and settled on the small of his back. All she had to do was squeeze, and a moment later he [[I Came|was spent]].''
===Best Novels===
'''[[Army|Marines]]:''' These dumb mother fuckers enjoy long walks on the beach, driving into rocks, driving off cliffs, shooting at rocks and generally shooting at anything besides the enemy. They stroke Master Chief's massive cock any chance they get and even have wet dreams about him. They rely on him to save their asses through out the whole game and have no idea what they're doing.
Unlike Origin Software, Bungie completely denies that they ripped off or were even inspired by Larry Niven's ''Known Space'' novel series. Bungie completely denies that the mind-controlling Flood were inspired by the mind-controlling Puppeteers, '''''OR''''' the religious slavers that fight humanity down to Earth, the Covenant, were inspired by the religious slavers that fight humanity down to Earth, the Kzinti, '''''OR''''' the ancient human ancestors that built the Halos called the Forerunners were inspired by the ancient human ancestors that built the Ringworld called the Pak, '''''OR''''' the ancient weapon worlds used to contain the Flood called the Halos were inspired by the ancient weapon worlds used to contain the Puppeteers called Ringworld.
However, Bungie has admitted that they were inspired by Frank Herbert's ''Dune'', with its spice Melange to describe Master Chief's life-sustaining and mind-altering addiction to [[cocks]].
Oh, and don't try attack them, because apparently they are enraged by you turning on them and juice themselves up with magic damage potions.
==Halo:Legends==
==== Enemies ====
[[File:720X405 legends 3.jpg|thumb|right|The image that caused 13-year-old fanboys to shit brix]]
{{Spoiler|FORERUNNERS BALEET EVERYTHING AND AN HERO TO STOP THE FLOOD. THEY THEN REVIVE ALL LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE AND THE FLOOD COMES BACK ONLY TO DIE AGAIN. ALL WOMEN SPARTANS DIE EXCEPT KELLY. ARBITER DIES IN THE SECOND STORY. SGT GHOST DIES IN THE 5TH STORY. FRED AND THE BLACK GUY ALSO DIE IN THE LAST VIDEO}}
Why ruin the gaming world when you can ruin the cinematic one too? That's right, someone though it was a good idea to make halo an anime. The video itself is comprised of peoples sob stories and shows [[sammich|how much women fail in the army and should just stay in the kitchen.]] The only thing good about it is that it FINALLY explains what the [[shit nobody cares about|fuck is happening in the halo story line]]. All the stories are shit. One is based on [[Dragon Ball Z]] and another is [[DeviantArt|horribly filter raped]].
'''The Covenant:''' [[Catholics|Religious zealots]] whose sole purpose is to kill off the humans. The Covenant is made up of several different species, two or three of which magically appear out of nowhere during the storyline. Despite having immense technological and numerical advantages, they manage to fuck up the attack on Earth and fail miserably.
A small shitstorm ensued on Halo forums when a picture of a teddy bear keychain started popping up in relation to one of the collab vids called Homecoming. This caused all the 13 year olds to collectively shit brix at the thought that maybe their hyper-masculine franchise might have a sensitive side to it.
'''Forerunners:''' Ancient aliens who died a long time ago. Faggots will tell you that humans are descended from them, but that's just about as retarded as saying that [[WE WUZ KINGZ AN SHEIT|the ancient Egyptians were black.]] They created the Halos and for some reason captured but didn't kill the flood before they died. Turns out they're also kinda assholes for the most part whose own parents decided they'd better have a post-natal abortion, before the Forerunners threw a fit and killed most of them.
'''Flood:''' Nigger version of the [[Star Trek|Borg]]. When enough of them have an orgy together, they create a Gravemind. Revealed to be the descendants of the godlike Precursors who created every living being, until Forerunners pissed them off with attempted genocide and decided to cause pain and suffering for everyone forever and always after. Thanks, Forerunners.
==Halo Pros==
== Novels ==
MLG or Major League Gaming (also known as chronic [[masterbation|jerking-off]] [[retard|syndrome]]) is a league devised by some [[fag|faggot]] named [[lol wut|Sundance]]. I'm not kidding; his fucking name is Sundance. MLG is full of faggets, queers, 45 year old virgins and pedophiles that love cock. They think there superior to all gamers because they were born with thumbs and use them...quite well I might add. Despite your faggotry and generally over sized ego's there a bunch of swell cock sucking faggots that love enormous amounts of nigger cum all over there faces and eat a lot of cock.
The League is completely devout to developing professional [[basement dwellers]] and pointedly alienating themselves from the [[Woman|opposite sex]]. This "League" is not only afraid of speaking to woman, but also hates any woman that try to get involved in gaming. They make crude gay remarks about how woman belong in the kitchen, but the truth is they'll never get close enough to a woman to have one make them a sandwich. The only woman thats ever made these faggots sandwiches are there mothers.
Someone, realizing that bored 13-year-olds would need something to do while being grounded for trash-talking on Xbox Live, decided to create books for them to read. They're only slightly better than your average fanfic.
[[13 year old boys]] usually call themselves [[tourneyfag|MLG pros]] because they spend their time playing custom games with other "MLG pros." None of them go to MLG events because their [[your mom|parents]] don't want to drive them, but the ones that do go lose in the first round and get [[butthurt]]. Then they return to their respective [[internets]] forums and [[cry|bawwwwww]] about how unfair it was. They also watch videos of all there favorite MLG pro's and ask them what there in-game sensitivity level is. They still suck there mothers tits and eat a lot of cock.
=== ''Fall of Reach'' ===
MLG recently had a show on the USA network which showed the ''Halo 2'' segment of the pro circuit. It was super lame and [[Noone|no one]] really liked it. Except when [[Walshy]] started crying because his [[gay|great]] team didn't win. This created a few lulz to many people who love seeing [[unrealistic expectations|other peoples' retarded hopes and dreams]] not come true. Walshy is a faggot pussy that wouldn't last 5 seconds outside of his mothers basement and loves black cum.
<s>A long time ago in a galaxy far far away</s> Humanity has spread across the galaxy like some sort of sick fungus, led by the [[Jewnited States of Americunts|UNSC]]. Some colonies have gotten pissy about taxation without representation or major abuse or some shit and threaten to rebel, with [[Islam|Insurrectionists]] bombing shit left and right (fun fact: [[9/11|guess what year this shit was released!]]) So after [[Lies|pursuing peace through reasonable dialogue and exhausting all efforts to peacefully negate aggression]], the genius [[Mary Sue]] Doctor Halsey abducts a bunch of kids to turn into war machines and assassinate anyone who stands in the [[Nazi|UNSC's]] way.
This is, of course, a [[moot]] point, because anyone who devotes his life to being a pro at a videogame is a [[fucktard]] and has no real ambitions in life.
If course, that would hit too close to home for the Amerifats who play this shit, so they only get in one good mission. Then a hoard of alien called the Covenant shows up from nowhere with a boner for melting planets, see how ridiculously unethical humanity is being, and decide to kill them for <s>Allah</s> the Forerunners. Once again we've got to remind you that this came out right after 9/11, so "subtlety" wasn't a priority beside "revenge fantasy". Anyway, these Islamists-in-space start wrecking the absolute shit out of humanity, while the UNSC squeal like bitches and pray to God that the Covenant doesn't find their really good shit on Reach.
<video type="youtube" id="KWF1ue0XLPI" width="540" height="406" desc="The 4 year old has since changed his Gamertag a few times to avoid harassment by pedophiles." frame="true" position="center"/>
For the rest of the plot, read the damn title.
Shows how the real pros of ''Halo'' talk to the noobs. Note how the 4 year old is actually winning the argument and completely owning the 13 year-old kid. Both are fucking idiots though and deserve to be raped by michael jackson.
=== ''The Flood'' ===
<video type="youtube" id="Y2VekrXIPtA" width="540" height="406" desc="Notice how everything this kid says sounds oddly familiar." frame="true"
A shitty adaption of Combat Evolved. Just go play the fucking game, there's nothing to see here.
position="center"/>
This also shows how [[retard|uber leet gamers]] talk to noobs.
=== ''First Strike'' ===
==Flood detected==
So after the Halo gets btfo Chief gets some alone time with Cortana drifting in space. After he gets tired fucking the USB slot he decides it's about time to grab something exotic and fuck back off to Reach. So he grabs that one black guy who isn't dead for some reason and borrows a supercarrier from its understanding captain. When he gets back to Reach he picks up some of his bros and hos and steals some magical time-warping MacGuffin... you know what, nothing really happens here, the point is he kills a few aliens and gets back to earth eventually.
Another vile spawn of the Halo series is The Flood. they are [[lie|NOT ZOMBIES AT ALL]], but are little spider things that [[rape|burrow through your skin]] and take you over turning you into a [[Rosie O'Donnell|hideous monster]]. After [[pwnt|PWNING]] the ancient faggots who lived [[over 9000]] years ago, the faggots fired [[cock|weapons of mass destruction]], pwning [[and nothing of value was lost|all life in the galaxy]]. Yet somehow they came back and proceeded to pwn humans and teh covernant once again. Again the only way to kill the flood was to completely [[pwnt|pwn]] every living thing in the galaxy. This is apparently the only way to get rid of the flood although the Master Chief seems to do a pretty good job of it.
[[Tl;dr|Long story short]], the Flood were better when they were called the [[Star Trek|Borg]].
== Halo: Legends ==
==Fanboys==
Why ruin the gaming world when you can ruin the cinematic one too? That's right, [[Micro$oft|someone]] thought it was a good idea to make Halo an anime. The video itself is comprised of peoples sob stories. The only thing good about it is that it FINALLY explains what the fuck is happening in the ''Halo'' story line. All the stories are shit. One is based on [[Dragon Ball Z]] and another is horribly filter raped.
Despite its lack of [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Italian plumbers]] and [[Mario|blue hedgehogs]], Halo may be the most fanboyed game of all time.
A small shitstorm ensued on Halo forums when a picture of a teddy bear key-chain started popping up in relation to one of the collaboration videos called Homecoming. This caused all the 13-year-olds to collectively shit brix at the thought that maybe their hyper-masculine franchise might have a sensitive side to it.
{{morphquote|halofanboys||font-weight: bold;|
== Fanboys ==
wow, i think these people cant handle th fact that they suck at Halo.
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Halo
Despite its lack of [[Mario|Italian plumbers]] and [[Sonic|blue hedgehogs]], Halo may be the most fanboyed game of all time. This is evidenced by all of the inexcusably shitty edits made to this page, and all the MASTER CHIEF VS MARIO VS SONIC flash [[Shit|cartoons]] on [[Newgrounds]].
http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/Halo
== Gallery ==
Not only that, i cant find ONE single article about them liking a game.
Anyway, those pages alone have turned me off these websites.|Igloobanana, ''[http://lounge.moviecodec.com/games/butthurt-anyone-84014/]''
File:Cortana.jpg|[[Orgasm|The knowledge... So much... So fast! It's glorious!]]
|Wait wait wait
File:Halo 3 fan fap material.jpg
File:Actualcortana.jpg|What the fanboys secretly hope Cortana to be.
File:Halo4cortanaself.jpg
File:Halo 3 condoms.jpg|Official Halo product.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Halo.png
File:Halo Brofist.gif
File:Zero Suit Master Chief.jpg
File:Halo knees.jpg
File:Blackandwhite.jpg|[[Rule 34]], anyone?
File:Haloelite.jpg|The Arbiter, savior of the Covenant.
File:Stuck_it_ware.jpg|Bungie... why so dirty? [http://www.bungie.net/Online/Halo3UserContentDetails.aspx?h3fileid=59636319 bungie link to DL]
File:Vehicles_deployed.jpg|Typical game of ''Halo'' in progress.
File:Halokid.jpg|The typical [[13 year old boy|''Halo'' player]]. Don't believe me? Go play ''Halo 4'' on Xbox Live.
File:Masterchefstory.jpg|''Halo'' in a nutshell.
File:halo_teabag.gif|A fallen player's view of his slayer about to get sniped due to being a faggot-humper who is more concerned about bragging over a kill than the task at hand.
File:Master Chief.PNG|How ''Halo'' fans see Master Chief
File:Captain Queen.jpg
File:HATERS GONNA HATE Reach.jpg
File:LegendaryEditionforyourcat.jpg|This is why everyone wanted the Legendary edition of ''Halo 3''.
File:Needler 3.jpg|[[Goatse]]?
File:fat_elite.jpg|[[Fat Furs|The final boss of ''Halo'' 1]]. Seriously, the game is that fucking easy to beat.
File:Elite human.gif
File:Halo-Maddie-where-are-you.jpg
File:Halo1.gif
</gallery>}}
You go to a website which is meant to make fun of everything, and you complain about them making fun of things?
== See Also ==
Derp.
[[Image:Pinkuh elitewang.jpg|thumb|[[Zeta toy|Another]] official Halo product]]
Also, Halo sucks.|Haylias, ''responding to previous''
* [[An Halo]]
|the website IS made to make fun, yes, [[lie|but that doesn’t mean you gotta make fun of the people who play it]]. Hell, they insulted Sgt. Johnson. [[not gay|You just don’t do that. ever.]]
* [[bungie.net]]
* [[Copypasta/Archive_12#How_Halo_Reach_ruined_my_life.|How ''Halo Reach'' ruined my life]]
* [[Machinima]]
* [[Pretty cool guy]]
* [[343 Industries]]
[[bawww|and is it the fact that IT sucks, or do you simply suck at it? Or is it that you do not like FPs games at all? what reason do you have?]]|Igloobanana, ''to previous''
== External Links ==
|I've beaten Halo: Combat Evolved on every level. The cool thing is the ending when you beat it on Legendary Mode. I would tell you what happens in the legendary ending but I don't what to spoil it for you. It's worth seeing though. I don't know why, but I think the last level (The Maw) is the EASIEST level to beat on Legendary. I mean, once you get a shotgun and Rocket Launcher, or at least when [[usi|''I'']]get a shotgun and a Rocket Launcher. If anybody needs help, you could always ask me!|Mike, ''[http://www.trap17.com/index.php/Halo-Game_t5478.html]''}}
* [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/zeropunctuation/2304-Zero-Punctuation-Halo-3 An honest and true review of ''Halo 3''.]
* [http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7826663.stm Basement dweller pwned parents because they took away his Gaylo 3.] It is not known whether he teabagged them after the deed or not.
* [http://fanficofthelegendary.ytmnd.com The worst fanfiction of all time]
[[File:Pinkuh elitewang.jpg|thumb|[[zeta toy|Another]] official halo product]]
*''[[bungie.net]] - the Bungie official website of cocksucking doghnuts. The mods ban anyone who doesn't worship Bungie and love to suck cock.
*''[[Metroid]]'' - Where Bungie got their inspiration for ''Halo''
*''[[Unreal Tournament]]''
*''[[Doom]]
*''[[Timesplitters|TimeSplitters]]
*[[An Halo]] - Halo fanboy who scores -1 in RL
*[[Daniel Petric]] - A kid who pwned and attempted a double-kill his parents in the head for taking away his copy of ''Halo 3''. This guy is fucking hardcore and a perfect example of why Daniel should run Bungie because he 1-shots IRL and doesn't afraid of anything.
*[[Flood detected]]
*[[Halo Store]] - A gay store filled with action figures and condoms so you can fuck your blow up doll.
*[[Machinima]] - Probably the gayest part of Halo. fags like Rooster teeth made a fortune making videos off this garbage franchise and are now owned by Microsoft, Bungie and no longer think for themselves.
*[[Pregame lobby]] - The Gaurd, makers of Pregame Lobby, have some stuff to say.
*[[Pretty cool guy]]
*[[Supreme commander]] - Rooster Teeth, the makers of ''Red vs. Blue'', are making movies based on SC.
*[[DJ KEEMSTAR]] - This guy rage quit Halo IRL after realizing Reacharound was a failure and tryed to copy COD lulzzz
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/Copypasta/Archive_12#How_Halo_Reach_ruined_my_life. How Halo Reach ruined my life] - Another amazing [[copypasta]] story related to Halo: Reach. (Picture on the right is very relevant).
==External Links==
{{Gaming}}
*[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/zeropunctuation/2304-Zero-Punctuation-Halo-3 An honest and true review of ''Halo 3''.]
*[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7826663.stm Basement dweller pwned parents because they took away his Gaylo 3.] It is not known whether he teabagged them after the deed or not.
*[http://fanficofthelegendary.ytmnd.com The worst fanfiction of all time]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/videogamestarBrandon Faggot who thinks Gaylo is real]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NfG-wfGfjU <s>Another reason why people shouldn't even be playing shitty games like this in the first place.</s> SORRY! BALEETED BY USER...]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMfuPMMyI1E Master Chief finishes the fight]
Halo, is an overrated, over-hyped FPS game with outdated controls, terrible graphics, shitty characters, and a convoluted storyline that was once considered "good" only because most gamers have never read a chapter book in their lives. The online multiplayer is scientifically designed to get on your nerves. The storyline also took several creative liberties from some shitty 1970's book called Ringworld, that nobody cared about, and also ripped off vehicles, designs, and Sgt. Apone (Johnson) from Aliens, which everyone did care about. The game was credited for saving Microsoft's Xbox from being branded a corporate money and timesink.
It's like saying a bike with training wheels is better because anyone can ride it.
The original Halo was known for being the only "good" Xbox game that wasn't available on other platforms. It received extremely good reviews from every major publication thanks to its great level design that repeated the same goddamn gray corridor every 30 feet, which cut loading times. And as if the repetition wasn't bad enough, halfway through the game, you get to play through each level BACKWARDS!
The original story involved the Master Chief, a 26th century Spartan, who killed a fucktonne of zealots and stopped a giant ring in outer space from fucking up everyone's shit, thus saving world/universe/day/whatever.
It was also notable for having a handgun that could headshot people from literally half a mile away. Every multiplayer game became a chorus of moans and profanity as just getting within 500 yards of a competent player would result in death.
If the player completed the game on Legendary difficulty, he was rewarded by a nigger and an elite hugging. Bungie's innovative trend of rewarding effort with bestiality never really caught on with other developers.
Halo PC
A shitty port of Halo to the PC by Gearbox Software. Despite the dated graphics, you needed a "high-end" PC to run it decently. The only reason you would want to play Halo PC is for the single-player campaign, as the multiplayer is complete ass. No votekick, no voice chat, laggy online play, and a community of retards.
Halo Lag Edition (a.k.a. Halo Trial)
And you thought that Halo PC was laggy? Then you'll want to try the Halo Trial, which has the worst netcode in the history of online multiplayer games. Forget playing this freeware demo; it's hardly even a game since it doesn't even work. And if you do manage to get the multiplayer to work by buying the fastest internet connection possible, you'll meet players even more annoying and idiotic than the ones who play the full version. The only thing the Halo trial is good for is the one campaign level that it comes with, but the fun of the campaign level quickly diminishes after you save and quit, sit through the 20-minute video of Sgt Johnson screaming at you to buy several copies of the full game, then come back later only to find that the trial doesn't actually save your game.
Halo Custom Edition
Another shitty port of Halo to the PC, only with no campaign mode and the ability to play poorly-made custom maps. Gearbox released some shitty hack tools to go along with Halo CE so you can make your own maps. However, there are really only 3 known custom maps in existence. Because of the lack of good modding tools, many Halo CE fans decided to make their own hack tools, which are almost better than the Gearbox ones, aside from the fact that nearly all of them were written with .NET Framework and have constant exception errors or just don't work at all. Before Halo 2 for Vista came out, some maps ported from the Xbox version turned Halo CE into the poor man's Halo 2 multiplayer.
Halo 2
Halo 2 was basically just Halo 1 with bugged cutscenes, better textures and no atmosphere.
Like any somewhat decent game that makes a lot of money, the designers had to fuck it up beyond all recognition. They took all of the redeeming qualities of the original and used them as enemas to get more "innovative" content out for the new game. The graphics were glitchy, the physics were non-existent, the weapons were shit, and the singleplayer levels were only slightly less shitty. Unfortunately, the 1000 years spent in MS Paint to improve those levels resulted in the multiplayer levels suffering tremendously. The game somehow sold even more copies than the first, and millions of 13-year-olds blindly embraced it as a gift from God.
While the story of the first Halo was passable, the story of the second was riddled with plot holes, like how the Covenant somehow find Earth and (conveniently) a brand new Halo ring, or how they just randomly throw in the Venus Fly Trap from the Little Shop of Horrors halfway into the game.
Halo 2 also introduced a new playable character—The Arbiter—a Covenant warrior who was shunned by his people for letting the Master Chief blow up the first ring.
We also get introduced to a stupid bitch who (despite being shown piloting extremely recklessly) somehow became a captain, some prophets, the aforementioned Venus fly trap, and an entirely new alien race that suddenly spread throughout the entire universe and took over the Covenant overnight.
Halo 2 was one of the first and most popular games for Xbox Live. Unfortunately, its multiplayer had even more holes than its storyline. Countless glitches existed, the most notable of which was the ability of the player to become a rubber bouncy ball and escape the map boundaries. Master Rusemen found ways to exploit the networking and force people to endure unbearable lag and random bullshit like tanks being destroyed with a single shot from a sniper rifle, sword attacks from impossible distances, etc.
Halo 2's design improvements, such as the ability to hold two guns at once, were hailed as innovative, new, and totally original by people who had never played Marathon, Goldeneye, Unreal Tournament or Perfect Dark.
Halo 2 Vista
A shitty port of Halo 2 to the PC. It was exactly the same as Halo 2 for the Xbox, except it has better graphics and a map editor. To get the ability to play a three year old Xbox game, all you had to do was downgrade to Shitsta.
Microsoft tried to jew the community by claiming that Halo 2 needed DirectX10 in order to run, which is why it required Vista. Deeply unamused, the community quickly released a patch which installed the game on XP with a framerate increase. Microsoft became butthurt and refused to release any more Halo games on PC.
Halo 3
Johnson dies. By the final installment of the trilogy, you would think the story couldn't possibly get any more butchered... right? Wrong. There are so many plot holes and random shit happening that anyone who didn't throw his Xbox 360 into the trash is probably a casual to the highest degree.
But hey, nobody cares about the story anymore, it's all about mindless zombie run'n'gun multiplayer! Halo 3's multiplayer, while much more polished than Halo 2's, still left much to be desired... or it least it would have, if the target demographic didn't have the collective attention span of a squirrel. Many of the old glitches were replaced by new "features," such as the ability to be killed by a traffic cone, despite the half-ton, energy-shielded armor suit you're wearing.
Two new things that Bungie added were a map/gametype maker and the ability to record matches and make screenshots. The theater caused the internet to be flooded with incredibly shitty videos of 13-year-olds doing retarded things while trying to imitate the mosquito ringtone through their mics. Halo 3's map/gametype maker, while a good idea in theory, was crippled by Bungie's incompetence. Despite this, every person who had ever picked up an Xbox controller immediately set out to create the best maps and modes ever, which resulted in thousands of "super speed, low gravity, insta-death weapons" gametypes.
Halo Wars
An attempt at making a fun console RTS. Despite being only slightly more complex than your average tower defense game, it was too much to handle for most of the Xbox Live crowd. Much rage and butthurt was directed at Bungie, despite the fact that Bungie didn't even make it.
It quickly lost its playerbase due to the above-mentioned quality and the fact that each leader had a special power that, if spammed well enough, could win the game no matter what, which caused the few people who could play it to quit out of boredom.
Microsoft finally decided to cash in on the Cock of Duty bandwagon by making CoD with energy shields, AKA Halo: Reach.
Halo: Combat Evolved 2.0
Another attempt by Bill Gates to copy Steve Jobs' marketing strategy. Comparable to OOT's Master Quest.
Halo 4
After 4 years of chronic masterbation, Chief wakes up in the shipwreck from the last game and finds himself crashing into Requiem. A giant robot planet with giant robot orgies and plants. Masterchief awakens the Didact, who is this oldfag that commits mass lollercaust to build his army of robots. A big dildo ship called Infinity crashes on the planet and fucks off again because Captain Del Rio is a pussy. The Covenant unite with their gods, Chief pwns the Didact with a grenade to the face, Cortana dies, fanboys bawww.
The Campaign is continued with Spartan Ops. A shitty episodic series which is nothing more than coop firefight with less replayability and a generic objective. Repeated over 9000 times!
The cinematic story runs aside the missions and goes as follows. Infinity fucks back to Requiem after crying for 6 months around Earth. Spartans go full lollercaust on covis and prometheans. Palmer is a bitch to Halsey, resulting in having Halsey's oldfag arm shot off, and captured by the Covenant along with half of a special key that tells you where the Forerunner's secret weed stash is. Also, Requiem plummets into sun and ends in a big explosion.
If you try to play the multiplayer, you will find yourself foaming from the mouth in rage. If you somehow manage to get a high K/D in the game, you will constantly be playing against MLG faggots that try their hardest to ruin the game for others and will make you rage so hard that you will become extremely violent in person and will kill anyone that gets in your way.
If you want to break all of your controllers and even your Xbox, or become an enraged mass murdering killing machine, this is the game for you.
To add to it being the most infuriating game ever, it is also the most broken game ever. 343i studios (fun fact, 343i translates to the largest collection of retards on the planet) is incapable of making a simple proper kill cam system (which even the chimps that make call of d00ty have figured out how to make work), they are incapable of balancing weapons, incapable of launching proper updates to fix the game, they are so boring that they copy COD garbage, thought that ordinance was some how a good idea, and are so bad at making maps that they some how managed to fuck up Valhalla from Halo 3. The worse fuck up that 343i thought was a good idea was the ranking system, which completely ruins the game all on its own. Nobody knows how it works. You can be the starting level in multiplayer and you can be still be placed in games against +100 SR level no-lives, in which they will then start raping your asshole into a bloody pulp. If you are some how able to get a high K/D, multiply the previous sentence by a thousand.
Not only is the multiplayer completely and utterly broken, but Spartan Ops takes the word "broken" to a whole other level. 343i thought it be a good idea to copy maps straight out of the campaign and pass them off in Spartan Ops, where you will play on the same maps 20+ times in a row. To make that boring, repetitive situation even worse, 343i thought it be a good idea to make elites 8 feet tall ninjas with shields more powerful than the bullet proof armor that you would find on a modern day tank. Not only is that annoying when it comes to a single elite, to make things worse 343i has no sense of balance when it comes to how much AI you will play at once, so when ever you have to go against an elite, you will find yourself fighting off several armadas of elites, along side entire armies of grunts and jackals, and if you're lucky, 4+ hunters all at once.
Words cant describe whats its like trying to play against entire space-time bending, intergalactic Promethean empires.
Oh and eggheads.
Halo 5: Guardians
So it's been a few months since Chief fucked up Didact and lost his blue cybernetic sex doll, and he's been palling around with his bros and hos on vacation (i.e. shoving their fists down alien scums' throats; love what you do!). But it turns out that even in death the blue chick won't leave him alone and tells him to get his ass to Meridian, a colony of hicks who keep reminding you that the South will rise again.
Meanwhile, there's another squad of super-special Spartans, Fireteam Osiris, who also get their lulz in the mass murder of space Muslims. Made up of a Brute, Buck the ODST-turned-sellout, and two vaginas (a black chick and a girl who keeps flooding her armor whenever she thinks about sweet sangheili cock), they're tasked with finding the AWOL Blue Team and bringing them to justice. They follow Chief to the South-in-Space, where an AI with alzheimers alternates between insulting the demigods and crying for their help, before confronting Cortana's fucktoy Warden Eternal and then Chief and Co. themselves. After breaking Chief's glasses, the Brute gets the absolute shit kicked out of him by the pissed off Space Jesus who hitches a ride on a Guardian and leaves Osiris to think about what they've done.
So we all knew Cortana wouldn't stay dead, right? Like, who didn't. But what we didn't know was that she would come back as a Nazi bent on bringing peace and order to the galaxy. So Chief has to fight his way through Warden's legions (how is she planning on ruling the galaxy when she can't even control one horny Ultron knockoff?) to reach her while she reminds him how sweet dat robo pussy is. When Chief finds her he tells her to cut the shit and get back in the kitchen, but she puts him and his pals inside a big floating soccerball for a 10,000-Year nap until she whips things into shape.
Meantime, Osirirs visits Arbiter, who as it turns out, also gets his kicks shoving a long, hard sword deep into the Covenant's quivering, warm flesh. And after a few years of being the butt of the official galactic pastime, there's only one place left where the dirty Muslims can hide; so you get to help the biggest hunk on Sanghelios put the absolute beatdown on the last Covie bastards while hijacking a Guardian to find Chief and apologize for being so disrespectful. Despite Warden and his army fucking shit up, and Vale distracting Arbiter's troops with blowjobs and creampies, you manage to climb aboard and head off while Arbiter's troops finish buttfucking Covies as they beg for mercy.
They get to Cortana's base and meet Guilty Spark's less-retarded sister, who immediately captured the fanbases' hearts by tossing you a tank and gushing over how good you are at killing bitches. You fight your way through robots and Covies who are too busy cumming over being in heaven to realize they just got royally rekt by Galactic Hunk #1 Thel 'Vadam, and manage to snag Chief and Co. while Cortana flies away in a RAGE to take over Earth and beyond with her army of Death Star-sized angels. In the end, Chief gets together with his bro Arbiter and mother/kidnapper to discuss how best to make Cortana chill out.
Commonly referred to as the best Halo yet.
Halo: Infinite
In true 343i fashion the story was yet again retconned and totally thrown out the window with this supposed sequel to Halo 5. Everyone's dead except Master Chief and a Hungarian bum who was named 'Brohammer' by the Halo community. For whatever reason Master Chief woke up in space next to a Halo ring, the Guardians from the previous games are totally gone and instead the main villain is now a Brute who's in cahoots with the one from Halo Wars 2, so expect a lot of players coming from Halo 5 and who don't like RTS games to not understand shit.
Master Chief:Pretty cool guy who has a shield that absorbs damage to make up for the fact that his billion-dollar, half-ton, state-of-the-art armor suit can't even stop handgun rounds.
Cortana: Annoying bitch whose job it is to be the Master Chief's Navi. Dies in the fourth game, is resurrected as a surrogate antagonist in the fifth game, and resurrected again in the sixth.
Captain Keyes: A wise old captain. Dies in the first game due to being assimilated into the Proto-Gravemind.
Sargent Johnson: A sassy nigger. Dies in the third game.
343 Guilty Spark: A gay robot that floats around. Is jealous that he can't be Master Chief's Navi. Dies in the third game.
Miranda Keyes: Typical woman pilot. Dies in the third game.
The Arbiter: A small dinosaur that you get to control. Becomes an atheist after listening to Richard Dawkins and turns on the Covenant. Voted "Sexiest Person of All Time"; capable of making women cum just by ordering them to make him a damn sandwich. Can cause enemies to defect just by flexing his pecs (it's canon, look it up).
The Prophets:Catholic priests who get bored with molesting grunts and decide to blow up the universe. Were once "Sexiest Species in the Galaxy" before the Forerunners came along, shot down their brothels, and made them start worshiping old people. Thanks, Forerunners.
Marines: These dumb mother fuckers enjoy long walks on the beach, driving into rocks, driving off cliffs, shooting at rocks and generally shooting at anything besides the enemy. They stroke Master Chief's massive cock any chance they get and even have wet dreams about him. They rely on him to save their asses through out the whole game and have no idea what they're doing.
Oh, and don't try attack them, because apparently they are enraged by you turning on them and juice themselves up with magic damage potions.
Enemies
The Covenant:Religious zealots whose sole purpose is to kill off the humans. The Covenant is made up of several different species, two or three of which magically appear out of nowhere during the storyline. Despite having immense technological and numerical advantages, they manage to fuck up the attack on Earth and fail miserably.
Forerunners: Ancient aliens who died a long time ago. Faggots will tell you that humans are descended from them, but that's just about as retarded as saying that the ancient Egyptians were black. They created the Halos and for some reason captured but didn't kill the flood before they died. Turns out they're also kinda assholes for the most part whose own parents decided they'd better have a post-natal abortion, before the Forerunners threw a fit and killed most of them.
Flood: Nigger version of the Borg. When enough of them have an orgy together, they create a Gravemind. Revealed to be the descendants of the godlike Precursors who created every living being, until Forerunners pissed them off with attempted genocide and decided to cause pain and suffering for everyone forever and always after. Thanks, Forerunners.
Novels
Someone, realizing that bored 13-year-olds would need something to do while being grounded for trash-talking on Xbox Live, decided to create books for them to read. They're only slightly better than your average fanfic.
If course, that would hit too close to home for the Amerifats who play this shit, so they only get in one good mission. Then a hoard of alien called the Covenant shows up from nowhere with a boner for melting planets, see how ridiculously unethical humanity is being, and decide to kill them for Allah the Forerunners. Once again we've got to remind you that this came out right after 9/11, so "subtlety" wasn't a priority beside "revenge fantasy". Anyway, these Islamists-in-space start wrecking the absolute shit out of humanity, while the UNSC squeal like bitches and pray to God that the Covenant doesn't find their really good shit on Reach.
For the rest of the plot, read the damn title.
The Flood
A shitty adaption of Combat Evolved. Just go play the fucking game, there's nothing to see here.
First Strike
So after the Halo gets btfo Chief gets some alone time with Cortana drifting in space. After he gets tired fucking the USB slot he decides it's about time to grab something exotic and fuck back off to Reach. So he grabs that one black guy who isn't dead for some reason and borrows a supercarrier from its understanding captain. When he gets back to Reach he picks up some of his bros and hos and steals some magical time-warping MacGuffin... you know what, nothing really happens here, the point is he kills a few aliens and gets back to earth eventually.
Halo: Legends
Why ruin the gaming world when you can ruin the cinematic one too? That's right, someone thought it was a good idea to make Halo an anime. The video itself is comprised of peoples sob stories. The only thing good about it is that it FINALLY explains what the fuck is happening in the Halo story line. All the stories are shit. One is based on Dragon Ball Z and another is horribly filter raped.
A small shitstorm ensued on Halo forums when a picture of a teddy bear key-chain started popping up in relation to one of the collaboration videos called Homecoming. This caused all the 13-year-olds to collectively shit brix at the thought that maybe their hyper-masculine franchise might have a sensitive side to it.
Fanboys
Despite its lack of Italian plumbers and blue hedgehogs, Halo may be the most fanboyed game of all time. This is evidenced by all of the inexcusably shitty edits made to this page, and all the MASTER CHIEF VS MARIO VS SONIC flash cartoons on Newgrounds.
The typical Halo player. Don't believe me? Go play Halo 4 on Xbox Live.
Halo in a nutshell.
A fallen player's view of his slayer about to get sniped due to being a faggot-humper who is more concerned about bragging over a kill than the task at hand.
How Halo fans see Master Chief
This is why everyone wanted the Legendary edition of Halo 3.
What the fanboys secretly hope Cortana to be.
Official Halo product.
Rule 34, anyone?
The Arbiter, savior of the Covenant.
Bungie... why so dirty? bungie link to DL
Typical game of Halo in progress.
The typical Halo player. Don't believe me? Go play Halo 4 on Xbox Live.
Halo in a nutshell.
A fallen player's view of his slayer about to get sniped due to being a faggot-humper who is more concerned about bragging over a kill than the task at hand.
How Halo fans see Master Chief
This is why everyone wanted the Legendary edition of Halo 3.
The final boss of Halo 1. Seriously, the game is that fucking easy to beat.
