The Hunger Games

Jennifer Lawrence

The Hunger Games is another shitty overrated science fiction action-drama film. Some Argue that it is better than The Maze Runner, however, they both contain around the same amount of lesbian death. It is massively popular among 16 year old girls and 13 year old boys, eager to begin their descent into the faggotry of shipping. Hungerfags love masturbating to the shipping opportunities of the characters, and some of the especially perverse fans masturbate to the thought of niglets dying, because that's what the movie is - a bunch of adolescent-fucks going around killing each other and getting killed by the bad-ass totalitarian Government. Just to give you a clue, Hungerfags are even more annoying than Homestuck fans are.

The story takes place in a post-apocalyptic future in the nation of Panem, which consists of a wealthy capitol surrounded by twelve impoverished districts. There used to be thirteen impoverished districts, who all revolted against The Man 75-years previously; but The Man don't take shit from nobody, so they destroyed one of the districts wiping it off the map entirely then decided that every year they'd take a boy and a girl from each district and have the twenty-four of them kill each other on TV so that the districts would be intimidated, but also have a little bit of hope so that they wouldn't be pissed off enough to rebel. In short, this place's government knows how to keep their population in check pretty well, by creating a false sense of security while still exerting tight control, which is very lulz-worthy indeed.

Furthermore, it is believed that this movie was based on a book, but no one can confirm or disprove this because it features the most retarded usage of language imaginable, a romance subplot featuring the female as the dominant one to make Swedish girls wet. While its fandom has not gotten any worse than hope, it is cancer inducing and unimaginably gay nontheless.

Characters

All the characters have emotional problems, and won't STFU about them. Furthermore, their names are more than a little retarded. Furthermore, the authors of the movie/book (if such a thing exists) were just begging for the naming of the convention of the abduction of children to be exploited, in that it is called "Reaping". No, really.

• Katniss Everdeen: The main character, with perhaps the most retarded of all character names, who keeps having halucinations throughout the movie, and attracted millions of fucktarded adolescents to the movie with her jailbait tits. She's also a total camwhore because she has a boyfriend back home, but cheats on him on national television with some hipster idiot. A fan favourite among feminist enthusiasts of the movie as they percieve her to be a strong empowered female lead. This obviously attracts them as they are desperate to find a role model, not knowing that a strong female character does not equate a generic "born to kill" camwhore with wooden expressions. Masturbating to the actress will work for about 2 times, after which her stare starts to put you to sleep.

• Primrose Everdeen: Katniss's lolita of a little sister, who looks as if just begging to be reaped by the government, and indeed, her name was chosen for a good reaping, but her big sister comes to the rescue when she is chosen for the gladiator arena deathmatch thingy, by volunteering to go in her place. Please note that this means that Primrose was almost reaped. She dies in the third movie after getting bombed by a bunch of sand niggers.

• Peeta Mellark, aka Peeta Griffin: The male lead in the movie, with enough mommy issues to make Alan Harper from 2 and a Half Men jealous. His mom told him that he was going to die when he was reaped, and he was secretly in love with Katniss. Also, he knows how to blend in with rocks and trees with his make-up skills.

• Gale Hawthorne: Katniss's pussy of a significant other back home, who doesn't know how to make a move on a bitch. Furthermore, he just sits and watches his girlfriend go down on another guy on national television. Furthermore, his actor is an IRL faggot, making his role as a kind, docile nice guy easy to play. Millions and millions of shippers on tumblr and livejournal shat themselves with glee from teh exploitability of teh love triangle of Peeta-Katniss-Gale.

• Haymich Abernathy: Redneck alchoholic put in charge of training the freshly reaped Katniss and Peeta to better kill everybody. His list of things to teach teh kids wasn't very extensive – in fact, he admitted to only accompanying them for teh refreshments, but because Peeta is a total nervous faggot, he convinced Haymitch to teach them survival techniques.

Originality

Because most Hunger Games fans are ignorant to actual literature, they have no idea that the entire premise of The Hunger Games was lifted from a much earlier story titled The Lottery (although elements from Running Man, The Most Dangerous Game, etc were also taken). Essentially, the plot of said story consists of a family winning the annual "lottery" and one member being stoned to death afterwards.

Sounds familiar, no?

Woody Harrelson

The legend himself, Woody Harrelson

Woody Harrelson is a famous bad-ass actor renowned on the interwebs for successfully trolling reddit -- not that this is in any way hard. Last Thursday, He arranged something extremely gay called an "AMA", or "Advertisement for Movie Attempt" to promote his new movie 'Rampart', where he plays a corrupt cop in some gay nigger-infested ghetto in LA, but nobody knows the rest of the details because they stopped caring when he wanted to only answer questions about his movie, which is what he said he'd be doing anyway. The tards at reddit raged extremely hard when he wouldn't answer questions about being vegetarian or what inspired him, preferring to stick to the movie. Since the only responses he gave were "Let's stick to the movie, people" and "I consider my time valuable", reddit got really mad and then some faggot accused him of crashing his high school prom, having sex with a virgin and not calling her in the morning (as if Woody was a nigger), and reddit was already mad at Woody so they decided that this was an accusation of raep, which said faggot had not accused Mr. Harrelson of at all. Just like with literally everything else, the irony was lost on most redditors.

This is the image that caused the simultaneous ejaculation of millions of faggots worldwide. Their lulz standards are a little low.

Anyway, Woody Harrelson's antics became a shitty, overused meme (but still the best reddit could come up with), and all of reddit was circlejerking about him for a week. This particularly confused the only sane people on reddit, /r/circlejerk, because the default subreddits were stealing their thunder. Bottomline, Woody Harrelson became either hated or loved by every single person on reddit, with no middle-ground, and Rampart, the title of his movie, became synonymous with fucking a girl and never calling her again to most of reddit, (which normally reddit supports - These are the same people that believe men getting friendzoned by women should be a serious crime and that all accusations of rape against men are lies, and that men are actually more persecuted than Wimmins, and they will spend hours on end defending the rights of known rapists and pedophiles) but became synonymous with courage to the brave parts of reddit (again, circlejerk).

Meanwhile, another shitty, overused meme on reddit is the catchphrase "SO BRAVE", which doesn't actually mean anything. When a redditor says "SO BRAVE", that user is automatically guaranteed a shitload of upvotes within 2.1 seconds. Somehow, their hero Woody got cast in this movie, and, as if that wasn't enough because redditfags are all in middle school and read the books, for whatever reason, his character Haymitch said the line "SO BRAVE" in the movie, causing the simultaneous, collective jizzing of millions of redditors the world over in their pants when they saw this happen. Aside from unprovoked ejaculations, this line also provoked the redditfags to laugh their asses off at a serious part of the movie, causing the rest of the theatres' patrons to think they are special. Of course, they are right on. As a result, Woody is now analogous to the dubs guy of reddit, because you can simply respond with an image of Woody Harrelson captioned "SO BRAVE" to anything on reddit and receive millions of internet points. Sound familiar? Nope? Nothing? Anyway, the moral of this story is redditfags are dumb as shit and don't know how to clean semen out of their trousers.

Hungerfags are Racists

A significant number of fans having already wasted their time imbibing this cinematic abortion decided to take up arms via Twitter and tumblr on an heroic quest to bitch and moan about how the niglets in the movie weren't black enough to symbolize the evil that they were supposed to. Lots of civil rights activists stepped in to demand retribution from a bunch of racist 14 year olds, blaming the content producers for the racism of a few fans.

This entire ordeal was incredibly lulzy because nothing is better than watching racist conservatards and butthurt liberals have an internet fight.

Unfortunately, the dignified African American actors defeated the trolls by not letting it get to them. (1)(2)

Racist tweets about teh movie About missing Pics

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  Why does you not know how to punctuation smh
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  Ewe also wasn't suppose to spelling, azn.
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  But da's a nigga who tweeted dat! I don understan!
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  Don't worry chink, no-one will be sad when you die either.

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  There are no innocent Black-people!
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  C'mon... with ghetto-monikers like 'Cinna' and 'Rue' was there ever any doubt they were anything but negroids?
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  The way she's licking her lips says otherwise...
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  Maybe you're just a fucking retard.

Shitty Pictars

I can haz Meme? About missing Pics

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  Effie, the well-to-do socialite.
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  Admit it, you laughed like the 14 year old faggot you are.

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  Wiifag makes a poster.
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  Antoine Dodson talks plot with us.
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  Believe it or not this is the actual plot.

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