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Eclipse: Difference between revisions

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[[Image:1eclipse222.jpg|right|250px]]


[[Image:1eclipse444.jpg|thumb|right|300px]]
[[Image:1eclipse444.jpg|right|250px|link=Illuminati symbol]]


[[Image:1eclipse222.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Loki's [[Furfag]] son Fenrir gets ready to eat the sun]]
Every so often a giant [[dragon]] will swoop down from the [[heaven]]s above to eat the giant fiery hydrogen death ball of infinite [[cancer]]. If you follow the much cooler [[Nazi|Norse Mythology]] version, [[Furfag|Fenrir Wolf]] will eat the sun and quickly shit it out after getting his ass kicked by the [[Germany|Asgardian]] badass Tyr.  Unfortunately, if you're a [[Islam|kowtowing rug jockey]] your religion won't allow you to go outside and watch this marvel of astronomy with your naked eyes, like you should. Most likely, your Mullah will put out an order and demand that everyone come to the mosque, dressed in their best [[an hero|suicide vest]] and pray from when the eclipse starts until the giant monster above becomes frightened by your prayers and spits the sun out of his mouth, failing to eat it. [[truth|We wish we were joking.]]


On 21 August 2017 a giant [[Dragon]] will swoop down from the heavens above to eat the sun.  If you follow the much cooler [[Nazi|Norse Mythology]] version, [[Furfag|Fenrir Wolf]] will eat the sun and quickly [[shit]] it out after getting his [[ass]] kicked by the Asgardian badass Tyr.  Unfortunately, if you're a [[Islam|kowtowing rug jockey]] your religion won't allow you to go outside and watch this marvel of astronomy with your naked eyes, like you should.  Most likely, your Mullah will put out an order and demand that everyone come to the mosque, dressed in their best [[an hero|suicide vest]] and pray from when the eclipse starts until the giant monster above becomes frightened by your prayers and spits the sun out of his mouth, failing to eat it.  [[Truth|I wish I was joking.]]
==Why The 2017 Eclipse Was So Important==


[[Image:1eclipse555.jpg|thumb|right|250px|The end is near. If you have a gun shoot into the sky at a 45-degree angle to protect yourself]]
[[File:Rahu erde schatten.jpg|right|thumb|250px|If you're a Muslim and were to look outside your mosque, this is what you'd see. Don't believe us? Observe the eclipse for 5 or 6 minutes with your unprotected eyes and you'll see we were not lying]]


== Why This Eclipse Is So Important ==
2017 was the first eclipse to occur over the Continental [[United States]] in [[at least 100|99]] years. What this meant was that [[scientist]]s didn't have to go trampling off to some [[Africa|shithole third world country]] full of [[terrorist]]s and risk getting their [[pwnt|head chopped off]] by some crazed sand-eater for "[[just because]]" reasons. Otherwise, as over 75% of the world is covered in water, most solar eclipses happen over water making them hard to observe, because astronomers either have to be on a ship that will be in that location or be on a plane following it in order to record and collect data.


[[Image:1eclipse555.jpg|thumb|right|250px|The end is near.  If you have a gun shoot into the sky at a 45 degree angle to protect yourself]]
The unfortunate consequence is that every [[retard|fuckwit]] in the world will be broadcasting these events telling us about [[Scientology|aliens and Xenu]].


[[Image:1eclipse333.jpg|thumb|right|220px|If you're a muslim and were to look outside your mosque, this is what you'd see.  Don't believe us?  Observe the eclipse for 5 or 6 minutes with your unprotected eyes and you'll see we were not lying.]]
If you missed out on the 2017 one (because you were in [[jail]], chained to a radiator, [[loser|you couldn't get out of work]], or [[your mom]] was afraid of giant moon rabbits invading Earth), there will be another one on 8 April 2024.


[[Image:1eclipse888.jpg|thumb|right|225px|The moon is an evil souless monster that wants to eat your soul 21 August 2017.  Your only protection is to stare at the eclipse.]]


This is the first eclipse to occur over the Continental [[Americunt|United States]] in [[at least 100|99]] years.  What this means is that Scientists won't have to go traping off to some [[shit|shit hole]] third world country full of [[terrorist]]s and [[fail]] to risk getting their [[dead|head chopped off]] by some crazed ass sand eater for [[Just Because]] reasons.  Also, as 75% of the world is covered in water, obviously, most solar eclipses happen over water making them hard to observe because astronomers either have to be on a ship that will be in that location or be on a plane following it.<br>
==What Exactly Is An Eclipse==
Having this eclipse happen over the entire Continental United States is a godsend in itself, for the obvious reason that is is happening in a civilized part of the world and scientists dont have to go to some lifeless desert that the [[Religion|towel heads]] and [[bestiality|camel fuckers]] are fighting over this week but because it is happening over [[America|The U. S. Fucking A.]] and being full of [[education|college towns]] community and respected, there will be a large number of Astromers recording and collecting data on this eclipse.  Except for the slight chance of a Deliverance style [[Anal|surprise anal sexing]] in the hills of [[Georgia]], most scientists will be rather safe.<br>
The unfortunate consequence is that every [[retard|fuckwit]] in the civilized, free world will be podcasting this event and telling us about [[Scientology|Aliens and Xenu]].<br>


[[Image:1eclipse999.jpg|thumb|right|250px|What those dirty non-believers want you to believe]]


== What Exactly Is An Eclipse ==
Really? If you're one of those [[atheist|Giant Terrestrial Land Hydra - Flying Spaghetti Monster]] twits that can't believe the [[truth]] when we tell you that a Giant Scandanavian Wolf, born when an [[Tom Cruise|angry dwarf]] fucked a horse, is eating the sun then we'll amuse you with the [[lie]].
 
An eclipse is when an astronomical body is temporarily obscured by a second body as it passes between the primary body and the viewer in what is known as [[education|syzygy]] or a straight-line configuration of three celestial bodies in a gravitational system.
[[Image:1eclipse999.jpg|thumb|right|220px|What those dirty non-believers want you to believe]]
After such a nice triple point, scrabble word like syzygy, most of you will stick with the easier example that a giant wolf is eating the sun.
 
Really? If you're one of those [[Atheist|Giant Terrestrial Land Hydra - Flying Spaghetti Monster]] twits that can't believe the [[truth]] when we tell you that a Giant Scandanavian Wolf, that was born when an [[Tom Cruise|angry dwarf]] fucked a horse, is eating the sun then we'll amuse you with the [[lie]].<br>
An eclipse is when an astronomical body is temprarily obscured by a second body as it passes between the primary body and the viewer in what is known as [[education|syzygy]] or a straight-line configuration of three celestial bodies in a gravitational system.<br>
After such a nice triple point, scrabble word like syzygy, most of you will stick with the easier example that a giant wolf is eating the sun.<br>


== Eclipse Safety ==
== Eclipse Safety ==


[[Image:2eclipse111.gif|right|left|220px|No matter what you've heard, this will never happen]]
[[File:Melting face.gif|thumb|right|250px|No matter what you heard, this will never happen]]
 
[[Image:BerserkEclipse.jpg|thumb|right|220px|When the sun is covered the door will be opened to the netherworld and demons will have domain over Earth again.  You will only be able to protect yourself with a sword]]
 
First and foremost, despite what you've heard, staring at a solar eclipse at the moment it achieves totality is perfectly safe because it's only the moon you are looking at.  If there was any danger of looking at the moon don't you think there'd be warnings about doing it at night?  You can look all you want at the moon at night with nothing happening to your eyes so how can it be any more [[stupid|dangerous]] during a total eclipse?
In fact, you can even view the moon through a light amplifying tool like a telescope with no ill effects, so how can an eclipse be bad? <br>
All this talk about infrared and U.V. Radiation is nothing but [[truth|lies]] because have you ever heard of anyone getting a sunburn at night?  It has never happened.<br>
If for some reason [[your mom]] is bitching you out about blue shift, radiation and other made up things that don't exist, all you need is a good pair of Raybans and you'll be perfectly safe because they advertise themselves as being able to filter out 100% of all these made up things.<br>
The reason why no one wants you to look at the moon unprotected during an eclipse is because you'll be able to see the [[Sailor Moon|rabbits]] living on it's surface mining marshmallow topping.  So go ahead, stare away.<br>
 
== The ED Mythos Regarding Eclipses ==
 
[[Image:1eclipse777.jpg|thumb|right|220px|Schnitzel and The Pondcat burning a fat one.]]
 
[[Image:1eclipse123.jpg|thumb|right|220px|The simplest example of what happens during an eclipse.]]
 
[[Image:2eclipsenull111.jpg|thumb|right|220px|Looks like Null's getting trolled again]]
 
[[Image:2algore234.jpg|thumb|right|220px|Please. I promise I'll be good.  Someone tell Al Gore to quit it with the math.]]
 
*The reason the Diamond Ring event happens during an eclipse is because [[Chris Chan]] is trying to win over another girl that he has fallen in [[love]] with by offering her jewelry.
 
*It has been written that [[BakaRed|Schnitzel and The Pondcat]] will bring about the end of the world when they roll the sun up in a [[drugs|fat-one]] and smoke it.  This is why there is always a ring of fire associated with an eclipse.
 
*Some have said an eclipse happens because [[Girlvinyl]]'s [[fat]] ass is getting in the way of the sun.  Make sure you scream, '''"Move your fat ass out of the way Girlvinyl"''' at the sky to make the eclipse go away.
 
*Some have said that [[BakaRed]] went on a bender and is pissing on the sun making it go out.


*The [[retard|Liberals]] were right and [[Trump|Our Great God Emperor Hero]] set up his [[Simpsons|Sun blocking machine]]
[[File:BerserkEclipse.jpg|thumb|right|250px|When the sun is covered, the door will be opened to the netherworld and demons will have domain over Earth again. You will only be able to protect yourself with a sword]]


*[[Troll]]s showed up at [[Null|Null's]] [[your mom|Mother's]] house again so he turned out the Sun and is hiding under the bed.
First and foremost, despite what you've heard, staring at a solar eclipse at the moment it achieves totality is perfectly safe because it's only the moon you are looking at. If there was any danger of looking at the moon don't you think there'd be warnings about doing it at night? You can look all you want at the moon at night with nothing happening to your eyes so how can it be any more [[stupid|dangerous]] during a total eclipse? In fact, you can even view the moon through a light amplifying tool like a telescope with no ill effects – so how can an eclipse be bad?


*[[Islam|Terrorists]] are blowing up the sun.
All this talk about infrared and ultraviolet radiation is nothing but [[truth|lies]]; have you ever heard of anyone getting a sunburn at night? If for some reason [[your mom]] is bitching you out about blue shift, radiation, and other made up crap that doesn't exist, all you need is a good pair of Raybans and you'll be perfectly safe because they advertise themselves as being able to filter out [[nothing|100%]] of all these made-up things.


*It's [[Goatse]]
Besides, the reason why no one wants you to look at the moon unprotected during an eclipse is because you'll be able to see the [[Sailor Moon|rabbits]] living on its surface mining marshmallow topping. So go ahead, stare away.


*[[Religion|G-D]] is rolling his eyes at all the little [[T.I.T.S]] faggots.
==The ED Eclipse Mythos==


*It's a [[Evolution|Darwin Test]] designed by [[religion|G-D]] himself to weed out the dumbass, dirty potheads like [[Doopie DoOver]] and the [[autistic|Short Bus Squad]] at [[Kiwi Farms]] by getting them to stare at the sun and melt their eyes right out of their heads.
[[File:Black sun.png|center|450px]]


*After a 3 hour mathmatics lecture by ED [[nerd|philosopher/intellectual]] sysop Al Gore, it's a predictable astronomical event where the moon blocks the sun and casts a shadow on the Earth. Seriously? Who would ever believe this line of [[Bullshit]]?
* The reason the Diamond Ring event happens during an eclipse is because [[Chris Chan]] is trying to win over another girl that he has fallen in [[love]] with by offering her jewelry.
* It has been written that [[BakaRed|Schnitzel and The Pondcat]] will bring about the end of the world when they roll the sun up in a [[drugs|fat-one]] and smoke it. This is why there is always a ring of fire associated with an eclipse.
* Some have said an eclipse happens because [[Girlvinyl]]'s [[fat]]ass is getting in the way of the sun.  Make sure you scream, "Move your fatass out of the way Girlvinyl" at the sky to make the eclipse go away.
* Some have said that [[BakaRed]] went on a bender and is pissing on the sun making it go out.
* The [[Leftard|Liberals]] were right and [[Trump|Our Great God Emperor Hero]] set up his [[Simpsons|Sun blocking machine]]!
* Trolls showed up at [[Null]]'s [[Your Mom|mother]]'s house again so he turned out the Sun and is hiding under the bed.
* [[Islam|Terrorists]] are blowing up the Sun.
* It's [[Goatse]]!
* [[God]] is rolling his eyes at all the little [[T.I.T.S]] faggots.
* It's a [[Stupid|Darwin Test]] designed by [[God]] himself to weed out the dumbass, dirty [[pothead]]s and the [[tards|Short Bus Squad]] by getting them to stare at the sun and melt their eyes right out of their heads.
* After a 3-hour mathematics lecture by [[Carl Sagan]] on the [[Ouija Board]], it's a predictable astronomical event where the moon blocks the sun and casts a shadow on the Earth. Seriously? Who would ever believe this line of Bullshit?


<center><youtube>mRH-URpgZrM</youtube></center>


<center><youtube>DVQ3-Xe_suY</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>DVQ3-Xe_suY</youtube></center>


{{quote|So you're betting $1 that says that Doopie DoOver will be dumb enough to burn out his phone's camerea trying to record the eclipse.  I'll take it.|Schnitzel accepting a bet}}
==Total Solar Eclipses==
===August 21, 2017===


 
[[File:2017 solar eclipse path map USA.jpg|center|550px]]
{{Quote|'''So you're betting $1 that says that Doopie DoOver will be dumb enough to burn out his phone's camerea trying to record the eclipse.  I'll take it.'''|Schnitzel accepting a bet}}
 
==Eclipse Times And Map ==
 
[[Image:1eclipse111.jpg|center|550px]]




Line 99: Line 79:
*Charleston, SC______ 1:16 pm EDT_______ 2:47 pm EDT
*Charleston, SC______ 1:16 pm EDT_______ 2:47 pm EDT


===April 8, 2024===
<br>
<center>
{{frame|<gallery perrow=5 heights="150px" widths="150px" class="center">
File:Map texas 2024.png|Texas
File:Map oklahoma 2024.png|Oklahoma
File:Map arkansas 2024.png|Arkansas
File:Map missouri 2024.png|Missouri
File:Map illinois 2024.png|Illinois
File:Map kentucky 2024.png|Kentucky
File:Map indiana 2024.png|Indiana
File:Map ohio 2024.png|Ohio
File:Map pennsylvania 2024.png|Pennsylvania
File:Map new york 2024.png|New York
File:Map vermont 2024.png|Vermont
File:Map new hampshire 2024.png|New Hampshire
File:Map maine 2024.png|Maine
File:Map usa 2024.png|USA
</gallery>|border=black|background=white}}
</center>
<br>
==Gallery of Awesome==
<br>
<center>
{{frame|<gallery perrow=5 class="center">
Image:2eclipsenull111.jpg|Looks like Null's getting trolled again
Image:2algore234.jpg|Please. I promise I'll be good.  Someone tell Al Gore to quit it with the math.
Image:1eclipse777.jpg|Schnitzel and The Pondcat burning a fat one.
Image:1eclipse123.jpg|The simplest example of what happens during an eclipse.
Image:1retardcwc111.png|Just in case you needed proof about retards, electronic media and eclipses
Image:7eclipse876.jpg|As seen from a welding lens and a camera phone.
Image:Eclipse_-_Space_View.jpg|As seen from SPAAAAACE!
Image:Eclipse_-_Free_Glasses.jpg
Image:Eclipse_-_Jet_Liner.jpg
Image:Eclipse_-_Screaming_Sun.jpg
Image:Eclipse_-_Watchers_-_01.jpg
Image:Eclipse_-_Watchers_-_02.jpg
Image:Eclipse_-_Watchers_-_03.jpg
Image:Eclipse_-_Watchers_-_04.jpg
Image:Eclipse_-_Watchers_-_05.jpg
Image:Eclipse_-_Watchers_-_06.jpg
</gallery>|background=#A9A9A9|border=#C0C0C0}}
</center>
<br>


== Disclaimer ==
== Disclaimer ==


The writer of this article is a mean spirited [[Jew]] and is pissed off for one reason or another, most likely because someone tried to steal his [[Jew Gold]] or because he met his [[girlfriend|girlfriend's]] mother and peered exactly 25 years into the future. You should not take any of his advice about looking into the sun at any time. If you are dumb enough to look into an eclipse, you deserve to have your eyes melted out of your head and have an article written about you where everyone can point and laugh at your stupidity.  
The writer of this article is a mean spirited [[Jew]] and is pissed off for one reason or another, most likely because someone tried to steal his [[Jew Gold]] or because he met his [[girlfriend]]'s mother and peered exactly 25 years into the future. You should not take any of his advice about looking into the sun at any time. If you are dumb enough to look into an eclipse, you deserve to have your eyes melted out of your head and have an article written about you where everyone can point and laugh at your stupidity.  


== See Also ==


== See Also ==
[[File:Mcdonalds staff 2017 notice about break for solar eclipse.jpg|thumb|220px|God Bless America]]
[[File:The_black_sun.png|right|250px]]
*[[Berserk]]
*[[Berserk]]
*[[Carl Sagan]]
*[[Carl Sagan]]
Line 119: Line 145:
*[[Bill Nye]]
*[[Bill Nye]]
*[[Religion]]
*[[Religion]]
*[[Pain (Physical)]] This is your body saying "''OMG! THEY WERE RIGHT. MY EYES <b>ARE</b> MELTING OUT OF MY HEAD!''"
*The [[Moon]] obviously
*[[Gurren Lagann]] I like the evil moon.
*[[Gurren Lagann]] I like the evil moon.
*[[Sailor Moon]] Seriously, how could I not?
*[[Sailor Moon]] Seriously, how could I not?


{{science}}
{{science}}
{{atheism}}
{{atheism}}
{{truth}}
{{Solar System}}


{{truth}}
{{Timeline|Featured article August 20 & 21, [[2017]]|[[The Daily Stormer]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Joss Whedon]]}}


{{Solar System}}
{{timeline|[[ED:AOTN|Featured Article]] April 7 & 8, [[2024]]|[[Sailor Moon]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Genocide]]}}


{{Timeline|Featured article August 20 & 21, [[2017]]|[[The Daily Stormer]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|TBD}}
[[Category:2017]]
[[Category:2024]]
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:Events]]

Latest revision as of 16:39, 25 August 2024

Every so often a giant dragon will swoop down from the heavens above to eat the giant fiery hydrogen death ball of infinite cancer. If you follow the much cooler Norse Mythology version, Fenrir Wolf will eat the sun and quickly shit it out after getting his ass kicked by the Asgardian badass Tyr. Unfortunately, if you're a kowtowing rug jockey your religion won't allow you to go outside and watch this marvel of astronomy with your naked eyes, like you should. Most likely, your Mullah will put out an order and demand that everyone come to the mosque, dressed in their best suicide vest and pray from when the eclipse starts until the giant monster above becomes frightened by your prayers and spits the sun out of his mouth, failing to eat it. We wish we were joking.

Why The 2017 Eclipse Was So Important

The end is near. If you have a gun shoot into the sky at a 45-degree angle to protect yourself
If you're a Muslim and were to look outside your mosque, this is what you'd see. Don't believe us? Observe the eclipse for 5 or 6 minutes with your unprotected eyes and you'll see we were not lying

2017 was the first eclipse to occur over the Continental United States in 99 years. What this meant was that scientists didn't have to go trampling off to some shithole third world country full of terrorists and risk getting their head chopped off by some crazed sand-eater for "just because" reasons. Otherwise, as over 75% of the world is covered in water, most solar eclipses happen over water making them hard to observe, because astronomers either have to be on a ship that will be in that location or be on a plane following it in order to record and collect data.

The unfortunate consequence is that every fuckwit in the world will be broadcasting these events telling us about aliens and Xenu.

If you missed out on the 2017 one (because you were in jail, chained to a radiator, you couldn't get out of work, or your mom was afraid of giant moon rabbits invading Earth), there will be another one on 8 April 2024.


What Exactly Is An Eclipse

What those dirty non-believers want you to believe

Really? If you're one of those Giant Terrestrial Land Hydra - Flying Spaghetti Monster twits that can't believe the truth when we tell you that a Giant Scandanavian Wolf, born when an angry dwarf fucked a horse, is eating the sun then we'll amuse you with the lie. An eclipse is when an astronomical body is temporarily obscured by a second body as it passes between the primary body and the viewer in what is known as syzygy or a straight-line configuration of three celestial bodies in a gravitational system. After such a nice triple point, scrabble word like syzygy, most of you will stick with the easier example that a giant wolf is eating the sun.

Eclipse Safety

No matter what you heard, this will never happen
When the sun is covered, the door will be opened to the netherworld and demons will have domain over Earth again. You will only be able to protect yourself with a sword

First and foremost, despite what you've heard, staring at a solar eclipse at the moment it achieves totality is perfectly safe because it's only the moon you are looking at. If there was any danger of looking at the moon don't you think there'd be warnings about doing it at night? You can look all you want at the moon at night with nothing happening to your eyes so how can it be any more dangerous during a total eclipse? In fact, you can even view the moon through a light amplifying tool like a telescope with no ill effects – so how can an eclipse be bad?

All this talk about infrared and ultraviolet radiation is nothing but lies; have you ever heard of anyone getting a sunburn at night? If for some reason your mom is bitching you out about blue shift, radiation, and other made up crap that doesn't exist, all you need is a good pair of Raybans and you'll be perfectly safe because they advertise themselves as being able to filter out 100% of all these made-up things.

Besides, the reason why no one wants you to look at the moon unprotected during an eclipse is because you'll be able to see the rabbits living on its surface mining marshmallow topping. So go ahead, stare away.

The ED Eclipse Mythos

  • The reason the Diamond Ring event happens during an eclipse is because Chris Chan is trying to win over another girl that he has fallen in love with by offering her jewelry.
  • It has been written that Schnitzel and The Pondcat will bring about the end of the world when they roll the sun up in a fat-one and smoke it. This is why there is always a ring of fire associated with an eclipse.
  • Some have said an eclipse happens because Girlvinyl's fatass is getting in the way of the sun. Make sure you scream, "Move your fatass out of the way Girlvinyl" at the sky to make the eclipse go away.
  • Some have said that BakaRed went on a bender and is pissing on the sun making it go out.
  • The Liberals were right and Our Great God Emperor Hero set up his Sun blocking machine!
  • Trolls showed up at Null's mother's house again so he turned out the Sun and is hiding under the bed.
  • Terrorists are blowing up the Sun.
  • It's Goatse!
  • God is rolling his eyes at all the little T.I.T.S faggots.
  • It's a Darwin Test designed by God himself to weed out the dumbass, dirty potheads and the Short Bus Squad by getting them to stare at the sun and melt their eyes right out of their heads.
  • After a 3-hour mathematics lecture by Carl Sagan on the Ouija Board, it's a predictable astronomical event where the moon blocks the sun and casts a shadow on the Earth. Seriously? Who would ever believe this line of Bullshit?

   
“ 		 
So you're betting $1 that says that Doopie DoOver will be dumb enough to burn out his phone's camerea trying to record the eclipse. I'll take it.
  		„
  		 

—Schnitzel accepting a bet

Total Solar Eclipses

August 21, 2017


  • Location______ Partial Eclipse Begins_ Sun Completely Obscured
  • Salem, OR______09:05 am PDT_______10:18 am PDT
  • Idaho Falls, ID______ 10:15 am MDT_______ 11:33 am MDT
  • Casper, WY______ 10:22 am MDT_______ 11:43 am MDT
  • Lincoln, NE______ 11:37 am CDT_______ 1:03 pm CDT
  • Sabetha, KS______ 11:38 am CDT_______ 1:05 pm CDT
  • Jefferson City, MO______ 11:46 am CDT_______ 1:14 pm CDT
  • Carbondale, IL______ 11:52 am CDT_______ 1:21 pm CDT
  • Hopkinsville, KY______ 11:56 am CDT_______ 1:25 pm CDT
  • Nashville, TN______ 11:58 am CDT_______ 1:28 pm CDT
  • Talulah Falls, GA______ 1:07 pm EDT_______ 2:37 pm EDT
  • Columbia, SC______ 1:13 pm EDT_______ 2:43 pm EDT
  • Charleston, SC______ 1:16 pm EDT_______ 2:47 pm EDT

April 8, 2024


  • Texas
    Texas
  • Oklahoma
    Oklahoma
  • Arkansas
    Arkansas
  • Missouri
    Missouri
  • Illinois
    Illinois
  • Kentucky
    Kentucky
  • Indiana
    Indiana
  • Ohio
    Ohio
  • Pennsylvania
    Pennsylvania
  • New York
    New York
  • Vermont
    Vermont
  • New Hampshire
    New Hampshire
  • Maine
    Maine
  • USA
    USA


Gallery of Awesome


  • Looks like Null's getting trolled again
    Looks like Null's getting trolled again
  • Please. I promise I'll be good. Someone tell Al Gore to quit it with the math.
    Please. I promise I'll be good. Someone tell Al Gore to quit it with the math.
  • Schnitzel and The Pondcat burning a fat one.
    Schnitzel and The Pondcat burning a fat one.
  • The simplest example of what happens during an eclipse.
    The simplest example of what happens during an eclipse.
  • Just in case you needed proof about retards, electronic media and eclipses
    Just in case you needed proof about retards, electronic media and eclipses
  • As seen from a welding lens and a camera phone.
    As seen from a welding lens and a camera phone.
  • As seen from SPAAAAACE!
    As seen from SPAAAAACE!


Disclaimer

The writer of this article is a mean spirited Jew and is pissed off for one reason or another, most likely because someone tried to steal his Jew Gold or because he met his girlfriend's mother and peered exactly 25 years into the future. You should not take any of his advice about looking into the sun at any time. If you are dumb enough to look into an eclipse, you deserve to have your eyes melted out of your head and have an article written about you where everyone can point and laugh at your stupidity.

See Also

God Bless America

Eclipse is part of a series on

SCIENCE!

[FizzlePop]

Eclipse
is part of a series on
Atheism
Gods & Methodology [-+]
High Priests [-+]
Denominations & Organizations [-+]
Followers [-+]
Sheeple & Heresies [-+]
Accessories & Related Concepts [-+]

Eclipse is part of a series on

Truth

Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.

The Sun Mercury Venus Earth The Moon Mars Jupiter Saturn Uranus Neptune Pluto Space Nibiru
Featured article August 20 & 21, 2017
Preceded by
The Daily Stormer 		Eclipse Succeeded by
Joss Whedon
Featured Article April 7 & 8, 2024
Preceded by
Sailor Moon 		Eclipse Succeeded by
Genocide
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