6 BONG

American version of 6 BONG

Brit goes to the cinema

mfw Americans....

People on 4chan share their tales of England.

>go to England on vacation with some friends
>we have to meet at the hotel at 9pm
>it starts to get dark out
>got to check my watch
>I forgot it
>decide to go ask someone
>find someone to ask
>ARE YOU WIMBLY FOURS MATE!? IM CRIMBO NINAN SIX APPLE SMIBBLY DIN BIBBLY CHAP
>have no idea what he just said, ask him to repeat
>YOU WOT M8?
>he starts to laugh maniacally
>Big Ben rings out
>everyone stops in the fucking street
>a carriage with the initials HRH rides down the street
>the fucking queen herself sticks her head out
>OI YOU GITS DID YE HEAR THAT!? IT BE 6 BONG
>driver pokes his head out
>6 BONGERS!?
>another man leaps out of the sewer
>6 FECKING BONGERS!?
>people start pouring out in the street
>YA WANKERS IT BE CRIMBO SIX-A-BONG
>store clerks and chimney sweeps chanting SIX A-BONG SIX A-BONG
>we try to get away, the filth is choking me
>SIX A-BONG SIX A-BONG OLLY JOLLY ITS SIX A-BONG
>the lyrics drown everyone out, can't avoid dancers
>BANG UP THE KNACKERS AND SMACK YER MUM-
>OLL IN THE STREETS ITS SIX A-BONG
>fish and chips being thrown into the air en masse at this point

>Be American
>Vacation in England
>At a cafe, looking for food that isn't chicken masala or tea
>Queen of England rolls up in a horse and buggy
>on the wrong side of the road
>OI YOU LOT WUSSAT TOYME?
>stand there helplessly confused
>wax sculpture of the terminator emerges from the other street
>royal band appears behind the queen
>assaults the wax Terminator
>meanwhile Queen is shaving her legs outside of her buggy
>OI YOU LOT BLOODY IDJOTS WOT BONG N THE CLOCK IS IT
>people start panicking because big ben hasn't gone off yet
>I look at my watch
>it's 6 PM
>"Hey, it's six pm"
>SIX PIMS? THE FAK IS A PIM YOU ROLLY JOCKINGWIGGLE
>he pulls out a gun
>It has a watch on it
>OI YOU LOT IS 6 BONG
>big ben rings
>a loud voice comes on the speakers everywhere
>IT'S 6 BONG YOU LOT 6 BONG
>buses of people go by screaming "6 BONG"
>mfw

>go to London, England for a business trip
>go to a rental car kiosk to rent a car
>"hello, I'd like to rent a car"
>"OI WOT DID U SAY"
>"I'd like to rent a car please"
>"A CAR? YOU MUST MEAN AN AUTOMATED ROLLINGHAM"
>"yeah sure"
>he gives me the keys to a car
>get to the car
>it has two brake pedals and one doesn't even work
>can't understand how to get it moving
>go to return the car
>the guy refuses and says some gibberish on how it's supposed to be like that
>decide to take the bus instead
>get to my hotel, there is a bar across the street and my room isn't ready yet so I decide to stop there and see if I can catch up on the broncos game
>take a seat, everybody is watching some guy playing some wierd golf/baseball hybrid
>bartender yells "OI M8 WOT WILL IT BE"
>"a beer"
>"A WOT NOW?"
>"a beer"
>"A WOT?"
>point to a guy across the bar holding a beer
>"what he's having"
>"OH YOU MEAN A FIZZLY WIZZLY WOBBLY POP"
>"yeah that's what I meant"
>he pours me a beer
>it's warm
>tell the bartender it's warm
>"IZ DERE A PROBLEM WIT THAT M8"
>everybody is staring at me
>"n-no"
>go back to drinking my beer
>ask the bartender if he could put the football game on
>"OH YEA THE MANCHESTER UNITED GAME IS ON"
>he turns a soccer game on
>decide I have had enough of this backwards place
>finish my beer
>give it the applause it deserves
>everybody stares at me
>the room is dead silent
>slowly back out of the bar and run to my hotel room

>go to england
>head to restaurant for food
>watch is set to timezone of hometown
>ask someone what time it is
>TOYME? WOTS THAT?
>notice he doesn't have a watch on
>no one in england has a watch
>big ben starts to chime
>everyone stops what they're doing to count the bongs on their fingers
>man crashes his car trying to count the bongs
>waitress drops my order on the floor to count her fingers
>man running down the street: OI IT'S 7 BONG
>mfw

>Be American
>Go to Europe on holiday
>Picking up bags at the baggage claim
>As the bags are coming round people are clapping
>Ask someone what is going on
>"Oh it's just what they do here"
>Confused but leave Airport
>Trying to hail a taxi but not working
>People are just clapping in the street
>Taxis racing to get to the people who are clapping
>Lift my hands up ready to clap
>Everyone stops what they're doing
>Looking at my hands with tentative eyes
>I close them together and make a clap
>Suddenly everyone around me is clapping and applauding my clap
>Taxi races directly at me
>I hop in
>Ask to get to my destination
>Notice the fare is only going up in cents
>Get to destination
>Start paying the guy in cents
>He yells at me
>"SIR WHAT DO YOU THINK YOURE DOING?!"
>I tell him I'm paying him
>"LISTEN JOHNNY FOREIGNER WE ONLY TAKE CLAPS ROUND HERE SO YOU BETTER PAY UP OR ILL HAVE TO CONTACT THE AUTHORITIES"
>Grudgingly clap 350 times
>Notice the taxi drivers face slowly lighting up as each clap is delivered
>He's consciously waiting the next one as if he forgot the last one

>go to London
>watch a movie
>it ends
>complete silence
>I start to clap
>entire theater stares at me
>Muslim sharia cleric bursts in
>I am sentenced to death for triggering 
>Get beheaded
>As my consciousness fades I see the crowd waving jazz hands in approval

Such is life in the caliphate

See Also

• Great Britain
• Londonistan
• English Scum
• U WOT M8

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