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{{goodnews|HOT TOPIC IS IN THE UK NAO!!11}}
{{goodnews|HOT TOPIC IS IN THE UK NAO!!11}}


[[Image:Hot Topic - gothjaks looking and pointing.JPG|thumb|250px|"oh my goth, LOOK!! It's a Hot Topic store!!!" ]]
<!--[[File:Hot topic fags dance.gif|thumb|Hot Topic customers perform their mating dance]]
[[Image:Hottopic2.jpg|thumb|[[Niggers]] have invaded Hot Topic.]]-->


[[Image:Hottopic.jpg|thumb|An example of Hot Topic customers.]]
'''[http://www.hottopic.com/ Hot Topic]''', also known as Hot Pocket, was started in 1988 by [[Jew|Orv Madden]], and has spread like [[AIDS]] in the late 90's thanks to the rise of the [[emo]], [[punk]], and [[goth]] subcultures among America's teens, and now has sprouted to [[over 9000|a fuckton of]] locations. Hot Topic provides [[faggot|clothing]], [[loser|accessories]], and [[Plastic crap|novelty items]] to [[faggots|America's goths, punk and emo subcultures.]]  From band merchandise and overpriced "gothic" and punk clothes to Care Bears and other 80's [[Larry Craig|faggotry]]. Hot Topic has set the modern fashion standards for the above mentioned [[yuppies|douchebags]]. Everything in the fucking store is overpriced. Like paying $25 for a fucking WALLET.
[[Image:Hottopic2.jpg|thumb|Another example of a Hot Topic Customer.]]
 
'''[http://www.hottopic.com/ Hot Topic]''', also known as Hot Pocket, was started in 1988 by Orv Madden, and has spread like [[AIDS]] in the late 90's thanks to the rise of the [[emo]], [[punk]], and [[goth]] subcultures among America's teens, and now has sprouted to [[over 9000|a fuckton of]] locations. Hot Topic provides [[faggot|clothing]], [[loser|accessories]], and [[mechanophile|novelty items]] to [[faggots|America's goths, punk and emo subcultures.]]  From band merchandise and overpriced "gothic" and punk clothes to Care Bears and other 80's [[Larry Craig|faggotry]]. Hot Topic has set the modern fashion standards for the above mentioned [[yuppies|douchebags]]. Everything in the fucking store is overpriced. Like paying $25 for a fucking WALLET.


Hot Topic is on the NASDAQ, under the ticker [[Hott|HOTT]].
Hot Topic is on the NASDAQ, under the ticker [[Hott|HOTT]].


Cool things about shopping at Hot Topic include being seen around other gay little Marilyn Mansonites thus making you [[Lame|cool]], paying upwards of $50 for a pair of pants that will completely fall apart within a few months of normal wear, buying patented "finger armor" (to put on your fingers before you dare to explore your nasty goth girlfriend's cavernous vagina), telling your friends how [[Emo|dark and mysterious]] you are for going there to buy ''[[Jhonen Vasquez|Johnny The Homicidal Maniac]]'' comics, and eventually, coming to sneer at the place you used to love so much because they've "sold out" and are now catering to emos as well as goths.  
Cool things about shopping at Hot Topic include being seen around other gay little Marilyn Mansonites thus making you [[Lame|cool]], paying upwards of $50 for a pair of pants that will completely fall apart within a few months of normal wear, buying patented "finger armor" (to put on your fingers before you dare to explore your nasty goth girlfriend's cavernous vagina), telling your friends how [[Emo|dark and mysterious]] you are for going there to buy ''[[Jhonen Vasquez|Johnny The Homicidal Maniac]]'' comics, and eventually, coming to sneer at the place you used to love so much because they've "sold out" and are now catering to emos, scene kids, goths and even hipsters.  
The sad part is, it no longer caters to wannabe-goth and emos now, you're more likely to find "mainstream" pop-culture shit like [[Doctor Who]], [[Cartoon Network]], [[Disney]], and [[My Little Pony]] there now!


__TOC__
__TOC__
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==How to Find a Hot Topic==
==How to Find a Hot Topic==
[[Image:Hot_topic_customer.png|thumb|right|This is how a typical Hot Topic consumer [[rage|rages]] against [[The Man|the system]].]]
[[Image:Hot_topic_customer.png|thumb|right|This is how a typical Hot Topic consumer [[rage|rages]] against [[The Man|the system]].]]
Hot Topic can be identified up close by its [[goatse|large black circular entrance]] with retarded spiderweb-reminiscent iron webbing and small display of novelty t-shirts in two windows located adjacent on either side.  However, from a distance, the store usually can be identified by emo, punk, goth or fag metal music playing at high volume and the putrid smell of incense. Music varies from location to location, depending on the musical preferences of the [[16 year old girl|store's clerks]], as well as the season in which the store is visited (example: fag metal is played in the summer, but is only allowed to be played certain times during the fall, winter, and spring - "the School Year" for all the kids who shop there). [[Tara Gilesbie]] travels to the [[United States]] daily to shop at Hot Topic. The lighting in the store will also be dimmed down to the point where consumers will not know all the terrible shit they just bought until they are outside. At this point the consumer can't return the product because typical hot topic consumers melt in the sun.
Hot Topic can be identified up close by its [[goatse|large black circular entrance]] with retarded spiderweb-reminiscent iron webbing and small display of novelty t-shirts in two windows located adjacent on either side.  However, from a distance, the store usually can be identified by emo, punk, goth or fag metal music playing at high volume and the putrid smell of incense. Music varies from location to location, depending on the musical preferences of the [[16 year old girl|store's clerks]], as well as the season in which the store is visited (example: fag metal is played in the summer, but is only allowed to be played certain times during the fall, winter, and spring - "the School Year" for all the kids who shop there). [[Tara Gilesbie]] travels to the [[United States]] daily to shop at Hot Topic. The lighting in the store will also be dimmed down to the point where consumers will not know all the terrible shit they just bought until they are outside. At this point the consumer can't return the product because typical hot topic consumers melt in the sun. It should also be noted, if you walk in and find items that include sex toys, glowy things, t-shirts and mugs with offensive slogans on them, and black light posters of Bob Marley, you are at Spencer's, which is easily mistaken for Hot Topic and vice-versa!


[[Image:Hottopicsmall.jpg|left|thumb|If you buy mass produced clothing sold here, you're NOT a conformist.]]  
<!--[[Image:Hottopicsmall.jpg|left|thumb|If you buy mass produced clothing sold here, you're NOT a conformist.]]-->
[[Image:Jennys_down_with_the_clowns.jpg|thumb|[[JuggaletteJenny]] shops at Hot Topic.]]
[[Image:Jennys_down_with_the_clowns.jpg|thumb|[[JuggaletteJenny]] shops at Hot Topic.]]


It should also so be noted that Hot Topic is the easiest store to shoplift in the entire mall, or even in the entire world. All you need to do is walk in, grab something, and stroll out. The sensors (if they even bother putting them there) don't do anything and the employees act like they're watching out for thieves but are just sitting around asking random customers if they need help finding something and that they're all out of [[Korn]] t-shirts. [[FAIL|But why would you even want to steal something from such a store that you find to be a black mark against the fashion industry]], regardless you'll totally look badass to your friends because you stole a NES controller pin from the store and that you're such a rebel and [[the man]] can't touch you? After all, the main highway to taking down the machine is followed by pilfering small items from stores that you claim to support.Then again, you can always do it for the lulz. They actually stopped carrying those stupid little buttons because there was a high rate of theft; there was a cry throughout the world as [[scene]] kids no longer had a way to express themselves. Hot Topic heard that cry, and started carrying the [[Theft|five finger discount]] buttons again.  
It should also so be noted that Hot Topic is the easiest store to shoplift in the entire mall, or even in the entire world. All you need to do is walk in, grab something, and stroll out. The sensors (if they even bother putting them there) don't do anything and the employees act like they're watching out for thieves but are just sitting around asking random customers if they need help finding something and that they're all out of [[Korn]] t-shirts. [[FAIL|But why would you even want to steal something from such a store that you find to be a black mark against the fashion industry]], regardless you'll totally look badass to your friends because you stole a NES controller pin from the store and that you're such a rebel and [[the man]] can't touch you? After all, the main highway to taking down the machine is followed by pilfering small items from stores that you claim to support.Then again, you can always do it for the lulz. They actually stopped carrying those stupid little buttons because there was a high rate of theft; there was a cry throughout the world as [[scene]] kids no longer had a way to express themselves. Hot Topic heard that cry, and started carrying the [[Theft|five finger discount]] buttons again.  


[[Image:HTprostitute.jpg|left|thumb|Hot Topic isn't just for poseur goths anymore.]]
<!--[[Image:HTprostitute.jpg|left|thumb|Hot Topic isn't just for poseur goths anymore.]]-->


==Marketing Skills==
==Marketing Skills==
In an example of life coming full circle, Hot Topic has taken steps toward eliminating [[fat|fat girls]] - once a dominating force in whimpering music subcultures - from their locations, though they still sell plus-size gothic [[lolita]] clothing (which is horrifying). They have begun opening a chain of stores, called [http://www.torrid.com/torrid/index.jsp '''Torrid''' (A.K.A. Fat Topic)], that provide [[fat|fat girls]] a place to purchase clothing that is decidedly less "hot topic".  These stores are normally located on separate floors to help keep the fat girls from [[I accidentally X|accidentally]] wandering into Hot Topic. Any Torrid is hopefully kept at ground or better basement level to keep the building from caving in. Also fat girls get too sweaty from taking the escalator.
In an example of life coming full circle, Hot Topic has taken steps toward eliminating [[fat|fat girls]] - once a dominating force in whimpering music subcultures - from their locations, though they still sell plus-size gothic [[lolita]] clothing (which is horrifying, and an oxymoron). They have begun opening a chain of stores, called [http://www.torrid.com/torrid/index.jsp '''Torrid''' (A.K.A. Fat Topic)], that provide [[fat|fat girls]] a place to purchase clothing that is decidedly less "hot topic".  These stores are normally located on separate floors to help keep the fat girls from [[I accidentally X|accidentally]] wandering into Hot Topic. Any Torrid is hopefully kept at ground or better basement level to keep the building from caving in. Also fat girls get too sweaty from taking the escalator.


==Poorly-made Clothing==
==Poorly-made Clothing==
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'''''NOTE:''' Even thought he may be right, MC Lars is a faggot and he's not punk either. Srsly, go listen to [[My Chemical Romance|The Minutemen]].''
'''''NOTE:''' Even thought he may be right, MC Lars is a faggot and he's not punk either. Srsly, go listen to [[My Chemical Romance|The Minutemen]].''
===Hot Topic is NOT METAL===
{{quote|See title. Why? huh, when you listen to metal you'll know.<br>|Some [[faggot]] who thinks anyone gives a fuck about something being [[Heavy_metal|"metal"]].}}
Also, anyone who's grown out of their [[Tom Cruise|Cradle Of Filth]]/[[Korn]]/[[Slipknot]]/[[Faggoth|Marilyn Manson]]-worshiping phase knows how fucking pansy Hot Topic is.<br><br>
===Hot Topic is NOT GRUNGE===
If it's not metal, then it's not grunge. Where the hell would [[you]] ever get such a retarded idea?
===Hot Topic is NOT GOTHIC===
<center>{{frame|<youtube>bZHQprudQDA</youtube>|border=#7E181F|background=#7E181F}}</center>
Wearing black doesn't make you a goth, smartass. Actually, it does. But nothing from Hot Topic will ever make you goth. Wearing anything from Hot Topic makes you ghey, because all [[real]] goths order their clothes from some [[shit]]ty [[German]] website or [[eBay]] (which is why all their pants are [[emo|6 sizes too tight]] or are [[fucked|used]] and look they're about to [[an hero|fall apart]]). Hot Topic has one kind of pants; <s>[[Shit|Tripp]], which are baggy and only worn by poser Goth-wiggers.</s> Almost all Hot Topics have stopped carrying TRIPP pants in favor of [[skinny Jeans|tight/skinny emo jeans]], (pre-[[jizz|bleach]]-[[fucked|stained]], because [[emo]]s are too [[fat|lazy]] to [[rip-off|do]]-[[punk|it]]-themselves) which fail so hard they make the TRIPP pants look good. This means all the [[juggalos]] and [[faggoth|poser goths]] either have to grow up or flee to one of the last three Hot Topics that still sell them: [[ghetto|Town East Mall]] in [[Texas|Dallas, Texas]]; Times Square in [[New York|New York City, New York]]; or that one in [[IKEA|Mall of America]].


==Hot topic is not t3h ub3r 1337 h4x==
==Hot topic is not t3h ub3r 1337 h4x==
Kind of like an irl [[4chan]] /b/, Hot Topic is now catering to the [[newfag]] population of America. Selling overpriced shitty merchandise based off of old memes, such as [[Chuck Norris]], [[All Your Base]], [[Japan|Domo-kun]], [[Portal|the cake is a lie]], and other [[Shit nobody cares about|well respected pieces of internet culture]]. It's helpful to know that as of September, 2008, they have taken their [[fail|marketing schemes]] to a whole new level, as now you can stroll on down to the store and pick up a nice [[V|V for Vendetta]] mask for 8 dollars. Henceforth, [[preteen|preteens]] now run around their local [[mall]] under the delusion that they are [[anonymous]], when it's obvious they're just a bunch of [[scene]] fags who are [[Doing_it_wrong|losing the game]].
Kind of like an irl [[4chan]] /b/, Hot Topic is now catering to the [[newfag]] population of America. Selling overpriced shitty merchandise based off of old memes, such as [[Chuck Norris]], [[All Your Base]], [[Japan|Domo-kun]], [[Portal|the cake is a lie]], [[Trollface]] and other [[Shit nobody cares about|well respected pieces of internet culture]]. It's helpful to know that as of September, 2008, they have taken their [[fail|marketing schemes]] to a whole new level, as now you can stroll on down to the store and pick up a nice [[V|V for Vendetta]] mask for 8 dollars. Henceforth, [[preteen|preteens]] now run around their local [[mall]] under the delusion that they are [[anonymous]], when it's obvious they're just a bunch of [[scene]] fags who are [[Doing_it_wrong|losing the game]].


===Hot Topic doesn't care about you===
===Hot Topic doesn't care about you===
Line 65: Line 54:
File:Gothic Wood.JPG|Standard [[poser|Hot Topic goth]], with [[fail|his obese family and extensive lighthouse collection]].
File:Gothic Wood.JPG|Standard [[poser|Hot Topic goth]], with [[fail|his obese family and extensive lighthouse collection]].
File:TOOL SKIRT.jpg|A [[sarcasm|fine, upstanding member of society]] sporting some [[crap|fine, quality merchandise]] from Hot Topic.
File:TOOL SKIRT.jpg|A [[sarcasm|fine, upstanding member of society]] sporting some [[crap|fine, quality merchandise]] from Hot Topic.
File:Hot Topic Kyd.jpg|Even [[fat]]ass [[faggot|gay dudes]] can become [[poser|broootal goffs]] with the [[faggotry|magick]] of hawt tawpik.
<!>File:Hot Topic Kyd.jpg|Even [[fat]]ass [[faggot|gay dudes]] can become [[poser|broootal goffs]] with the [[faggotry|magick]] of hawt tawpik.<!>
File:Goth Lee.jpg|<small>[[ICP]] hat: $20. [[ICP]] tennis shoes: $50. [[Hatchetman]] gloves: $17. [[Hatchetman]] snot rag: $30. [[Psychopathic Records]] t-shirt: $19. [[Rave]]r pants: $70. Looking like a complete [[tool]]: PRICELESS!</small>
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Goth Lee.jpg|[[ICP]] hat: $20. [[ICP]] tennis shoes: $50. [[Hatchetman]] gloves: $17. [[Hatchetman]] snot rag: $30. [[Psychopathic Records]] t-shirt: $19. [[Rave]]r pants: $70. Looking like a complete [[tool]]: PRICELESS.
File:Awesome goth.jpg|Typical Hot Topic model.
File:Awesome goth.jpg|Typical Hot Topic model.
File:MATTVAMPIREOPEN.jpg|[[You]] too, can be THIS [[poser|BRUTAL]]!!!
File:MATTVAMPIREOPEN.jpg|[[You]] too, can be THIS [[poser|BRUTAL]]!!!
Line 77: Line 66:
File:Punkkid.jpg|[[poser|What aforementioned Hot Topic fags actually look like.]]
File:Punkkid.jpg|[[poser|What aforementioned Hot Topic fags actually look like.]]
File:Dani2.jpg|What all mall goths aspire to look like.
File:Dani2.jpg|What all mall goths aspire to look like.
File:Goth in its natural habitat.jpg|BRB, sale at hawt tawpik.
<!>File:Goth in its natural habitat.jpg|BRB, sale at hawt tawpik.<!>
File:Hot Topic Movie.jpg
</gallery>}}
</gallery>}}


Line 86: Line 76:
Torrid (a [[portmanteau]] of Terrible and Horrid) A.K.A [[fat|Fat Hot Topic]] and [[Man the harpoons]], was originally a break off of Hot Topic for the more plus size gothic market, and usually found in the mall, on the floor bellow Hot Topic, on the on the opposite side, the Torrid goth style quickly died when the owners realized no one would buy this shit.  
Torrid (a [[portmanteau]] of Terrible and Horrid) A.K.A [[fat|Fat Hot Topic]] and [[Man the harpoons]], was originally a break off of Hot Topic for the more plus size gothic market, and usually found in the mall, on the floor bellow Hot Topic, on the on the opposite side, the Torrid goth style quickly died when the owners realized no one would buy this shit.  


When this happened, they quickly [[shooped|renovated]] their stores to appeal to a more [[preppy|Classy]]-black person-[[babby|Baby]] [[Fat|Phat]] style and that kinda [[oxymoron|preppy-punky]] thing where a fat chick will wear jeans, a tank top, and have her knock-off Chanel purse but considers herself "alternative" because she has hair that is [[guido|spiked]] in the back.  
When this happened, they quickly [[shooped|renovated]] their stores to appeal to a more [[preppy|Classy]]-[[nigga]]-[[babby|Baby]] [[Fat|Phat]] style and that kinda [[oxymoron|preppy-punky]] thing where a fat chick will wear jeans, a tank top, and have her knock-off Chanel purse but considers herself "alternative" because she has hair that is [[guido|spiked]] in the back.  


They do still, occasionally sell a watered-down pair of those TRIPP pants like at hot topic, that are flared at the bottom and are supposed to be [[pants nazi|pants]], but are too short to reach a [[midget]]'s ankles, let alone, a whale's. They also still sell that [[BDSM|Hot Topic-style]] lingerie and fishnet stockings with puffy lace and bows at the top, that are supposed to make chicks look [[sexy]], but carrying [[oxymoron|sexy lingerie in fat sizes]] kinda defeats the point, don't ya think?
They do still, occasionally sell a watered-down pair of those TRIPP pants like at hot topic, that are flared at the bottom and are supposed to be [[pants nazi|pants]], but are too short to reach a [[midget]]'s ankles, let alone, a whale's. They also still sell that [[BDSM|Hot Topic-style]] lingerie and fishnet stockings with puffy lace and bows at the top, that are supposed to make chicks look [[sexy]], but carrying [[oxymoron|sexy lingerie in fat sizes]] kinda defeats the point, don't ya think?
Line 98: Line 88:
* [[Skinny Jeans]]
* [[Skinny Jeans]]
* [[Fangirl]]
* [[Fangirl]]
* [[Poser]]
* [[Punk]]
* [[Punk]]
* [[Wigger]]
* [[Wigger]]
Line 104: Line 95:
* [[16 year old girl]]
* [[16 year old girl]]
* [[13 year old boy]]
* [[13 year old boy]]
*[[Ruby Gloom]]
*[[The Nightmare Before Christmas]]
* [[Race Guy]] - Yet another meme hot topic stole and made into a [[shit|shirt]].
* [[Triciakitty]]
* [[Triciakitty]]


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*[http://www.youtube.com/user/EmoBunny729 EmoBunny729: Hot Topic shopper/camwhore.]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/EmoBunny729 EmoBunny729: Hot Topic shopper/camwhore.]
{{Music}}
{{Music}}
{{emoseries}}
{{Template:Goth}}
{{Template:Goth}}
{{emoseries}}
{{cults}}
{{Timeline|Featured article December 18, [[2005]]|[[Fifty Hitler Post]]|[[HotTopic]]|[[Irony]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article December 18, [[2005]]|[[Fifty Hitler Post]]|[[HotTopic]]|[[Irony]]}}


[[category: Subcultures]]
[[category: Subcultures]]

Latest revision as of 10:13, 1 September 2022

Good News, Everyone!
HOT TOPIC IS IN THE UK NAO!!11


"oh my goth, LOOK!! It's a Hot Topic store!!!"

Hot Topic, also known as Hot Pocket, was started in 1988 by Orv Madden, and has spread like AIDS in the late 90's thanks to the rise of the emo, punk, and goth subcultures among America's teens, and now has sprouted to a fuckton of locations. Hot Topic provides clothing, accessories, and novelty items to America's goths, punk and emo subcultures. From band merchandise and overpriced "gothic" and punk clothes to Care Bears and other 80's faggotry. Hot Topic has set the modern fashion standards for the above mentioned douchebags. Everything in the fucking store is overpriced. Like paying $25 for a fucking WALLET.

Hot Topic is on the NASDAQ, under the ticker HOTT.

Cool things about shopping at Hot Topic include being seen around other gay little Marilyn Mansonites thus making you cool, paying upwards of $50 for a pair of pants that will completely fall apart within a few months of normal wear, buying patented "finger armor" (to put on your fingers before you dare to explore your nasty goth girlfriend's cavernous vagina), telling your friends how dark and mysterious you are for going there to buy Johnny The Homicidal Maniac comics, and eventually, coming to sneer at the place you used to love so much because they've "sold out" and are now catering to emos, scene kids, goths and even hipsters. The sad part is, it no longer caters to wannabe-goth and emos now, you're more likely to find "mainstream" pop-culture shit like Doctor Who, Cartoon Network, Disney, and My Little Pony there now!

How to Find a Hot Topic

This is how a typical Hot Topic consumer rages against the system.

Hot Topic can be identified up close by its large black circular entrance with retarded spiderweb-reminiscent iron webbing and small display of novelty t-shirts in two windows located adjacent on either side. However, from a distance, the store usually can be identified by emo, punk, goth or fag metal music playing at high volume and the putrid smell of incense. Music varies from location to location, depending on the musical preferences of the store's clerks, as well as the season in which the store is visited (example: fag metal is played in the summer, but is only allowed to be played certain times during the fall, winter, and spring - "the School Year" for all the kids who shop there). Tara Gilesbie travels to the United States daily to shop at Hot Topic. The lighting in the store will also be dimmed down to the point where consumers will not know all the terrible shit they just bought until they are outside. At this point the consumer can't return the product because typical hot topic consumers melt in the sun. It should also be noted, if you walk in and find items that include sex toys, glowy things, t-shirts and mugs with offensive slogans on them, and black light posters of Bob Marley, you are at Spencer's, which is easily mistaken for Hot Topic and vice-versa!

JuggaletteJenny shops at Hot Topic.

It should also so be noted that Hot Topic is the easiest store to shoplift in the entire mall, or even in the entire world. All you need to do is walk in, grab something, and stroll out. The sensors (if they even bother putting them there) don't do anything and the employees act like they're watching out for thieves but are just sitting around asking random customers if they need help finding something and that they're all out of Korn t-shirts. But why would you even want to steal something from such a store that you find to be a black mark against the fashion industry, regardless you'll totally look badass to your friends because you stole a NES controller pin from the store and that you're such a rebel and the man can't touch you? After all, the main highway to taking down the machine is followed by pilfering small items from stores that you claim to support.Then again, you can always do it for the lulz. They actually stopped carrying those stupid little buttons because there was a high rate of theft; there was a cry throughout the world as scene kids no longer had a way to express themselves. Hot Topic heard that cry, and started carrying the five finger discount buttons again.


Marketing Skills

In an example of life coming full circle, Hot Topic has taken steps toward eliminating fat girls - once a dominating force in whimpering music subcultures - from their locations, though they still sell plus-size gothic lolita clothing (which is horrifying, and an oxymoron). They have begun opening a chain of stores, called Torrid (A.K.A. Fat Topic), that provide fat girls a place to purchase clothing that is decidedly less "hot topic". These stores are normally located on separate floors to help keep the fat girls from accidentally wandering into Hot Topic. Any Torrid is hopefully kept at ground or better basement level to keep the building from caving in. Also fat girls get too sweaty from taking the escalator.

Poorly-made Clothing

All of the clothes that Hot Topic makes is from chinks who know nothing of the "Don't Tell Me" Culture. All clothing articles usually fall apart within less than 60 seconds of purchase. When you actually put on the clothes at home, the black loses its sheen, the bottom seven inches of the pant legs fray and rip themselves off, the seams on your ass and crotch tear open, the chains rust and all the neon green paint on them chips off, and you look like a fucking EMO bastard drinking coffee at an old coffee shop while on the computer talking with AIM, lulzing it up. If you think you're getting a good deal during the half off clearance sales (that's 50% off then another 50%, making a total of 75% off, retard), you're not. You're still wasting $5 on something that's going to fall apart in a week.

Hot Topic Backlash

If you're shopping here to fit in, you FAIL.
As edgy as edgy gets.
Wear these, and watch the "real goths" point at you and laugh as you walk by.

On the internet, Hot Topic has become the equivalent of a black person to be hurled by emo white chicks at each other to diss their punk credibility. Example: "I'll kick your Hot Topic ass." (not to be confused with "I used to shop at Hot topic and buy all my clothes there, but now that over 9000 million other people shop there as well, I think it's gay and I think YOU'RE gay for going there.") This can greatly damage the rep of an emo chick and can only be reversed by listing at least three obscure bands that no one else has heard of (little-known bands like Fallout Boy, My Chemical Romance, or Panic At The Disco fit this category nicely), or by quoting Less Than Jake lyrics.

Hot Topic is NOT PUNK ROCK

Making the video series My Immortal was not punk rock. However, doing it for the lulz is punk rock.

NOTE: Even thought he may be right, MC Lars is a faggot and he's not punk either. Srsly, go listen to The Minutemen.

Hot topic is not t3h ub3r 1337 h4x

Kind of like an irl 4chan /b/, Hot Topic is now catering to the newfag population of America. Selling overpriced shitty merchandise based off of old memes, such as Chuck Norris, All Your Base, Domo-kun, the cake is a lie, Trollface and other well respected pieces of internet culture. It's helpful to know that as of September, 2008, they have taken their marketing schemes to a whole new level, as now you can stroll on down to the store and pick up a nice V for Vendetta mask for 8 dollars. Henceforth, preteens now run around their local mall under the delusion that they are anonymous, when it's obvious they're just a bunch of scene fags who are losing the game.

Hot Topic doesn't care about you

Had a bad store experience? Hole in your new Tripp pants? Got treated like crap because you tried to make a return? Got stuck with ear gauges that were mislabeled as a different size? Go tell your mom because Hot Topic doesn't care. Messages to their customer service department will go unanswered, while you continue to get bi-weekly emails about more crappy products they're trying to push. They don't care about losing customers because for every one they lose, a tween wannabe will start shopping there.

Gallery of Hot Pocket

Meet the "Nonconformists" About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

SPECIAL MENTION: Torrid

Typical Torrid shopper.

Torrid (a portmanteau of Terrible and Horrid) A.K.A Fat Hot Topic and Man the harpoons, was originally a break off of Hot Topic for the more plus size gothic market, and usually found in the mall, on the floor bellow Hot Topic, on the on the opposite side, the Torrid goth style quickly died when the owners realized no one would buy this shit.

When this happened, they quickly renovated their stores to appeal to a more Classy-nigga-Baby Phat style and that kinda preppy-punky thing where a fat chick will wear jeans, a tank top, and have her knock-off Chanel purse but considers herself "alternative" because she has hair that is spiked in the back.

They do still, occasionally sell a watered-down pair of those TRIPP pants like at hot topic, that are flared at the bottom and are supposed to be pants, but are too short to reach a midget's ankles, let alone, a whale's. They also still sell that Hot Topic-style lingerie and fishnet stockings with puffy lace and bows at the top, that are supposed to make chicks look sexy, but carrying sexy lingerie in fat sizes kinda defeats the point, don't ya think?

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Featured article December 18, 2005
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