Alisa Kuzmenko

Hey!

This article isn't lulz just yet, but its coverage can spark a lollercoaster. You can help by reverting people who delete shit, and vandalizing their user pages. See this article on Google? Want to add something? Join us!

Some time ago, a Russian Livejournal user by the name trackeri posted some juicy dox (baleeted) on a Ukrainian student named Alisa Cooze-menko, who had the best hobby ever - finding dead dogs and skinning them in her kitchen for the lulz - and, of course, taking pics for posterity. There was also a couple of videos made, but they're gone now.

Needless to say, over 9000 angry Russians put their vodka and women beating aside to troll Alisa and to show their heartfelt love for dead dogs everywhere.

Her info was almost as lulzworthy as the pics themselves:

• Name: Alisa Kuzmenko
  
• "I'm on the second year of the international relations college in Kiev, studying international business."
  
• Main online nickname: lir_fon_tamiir
  
• DOB: 1990-08-xx
  
• City: Kiev, Ukraine
  
• Telephone: +380 xxx-xx-xx
  
• About me: I'm Alice! And that's all I can say!
  
• Interests: Kafka, black metal, darkwave, Irish dance, piercing, turtles.
  

Her partner in crime's dox were also published by trackeri:

• Name: Anna Donchuk
  
• 18 years old
  
• Studying veterinary science in the Agricultural College of Ukraine
  

The Cumdumpsters Speakout

I'd hit it, with a hammer.

The girls made a statement after the comments started pouring in:

	“	I don't deny that it is us on the photos. Here goes... She started the second year of her university. All students had to prepare a dead bone and bring it to class. Many bought a prepared cow bone in a store, but Anya has principles, she wanted to find something... We were hoping to get a dead rotten rat at the most, but got lucky - we found a dog (still living) that's just been hit by a car. Well, we picked it up, worked on it and got a fucking awesome skeleton. As for the funny photos - there is exactly the same amount of them as technical photos! And after all, why not laugh, the animal is dead, it doesn't care. Did I answer all of your questions?	„
	—Actually, no, can I stick it in your pooper?

	“	We cannot open a case, because the dog was already dead - says assistant director to Kiev's metropolitan police, Vladimir Dmitrenko. - However, there is still the crime of cruelty to animals to consider. However, we don't have any material evidence to conclusively persecute them for what they did.	„
	—The Man

Previous Quote | Next Quote

After watching through the video several times, a local newspaper published an article on the matter, citing that the Agricultural College did not give the girls any assignments, and that they indeed did it for the lulz. They also say that the video shows them sticking candles into the dog's eviscerated carcass and blowing them out, like on a birthday cake. Good times were had by all.

The videos

Both girls appeared on a Russian program defending their actions and showing clips of the birthday cake dog. Caution, massive amounts of moonspeak ahead.

Video available on RuTube

Gallery of WHAT THE FUCK

You can't unsee this, seriously. About missing Pics

• 
  Alisa <3 dogz
• 
  sexy
• 
  this is ok in Korea
• 

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• 
  OH HAI 2 U
• 
  dat dog needs a medic!
• 
  LOL I'M DED
• 
  OH HEY NAW WASSUP DOG
• 
  Stupid rat, stop being dead!
• 
  This is delicious dog heart, I must eat it.
• 
  flier 1
• 
  flier 2

External Links

• News article on Alisa (translated)
• Her LJ
• Her matchmaking site profile
• Her favorite irish dance community (cause a girl has to have hobbies, right?)
• Video of the butchering
• Moar pics ya sick bastards (Archived: 1)