ZDaemon

THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ. BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.

Your average ZDaemon tough guy.

ZDaemon is a source port of Doom with support for online play. The community is almost terminally stupid and very easily offended by the tiniest things, even by CS and WoW standards.

The IRC channel is a cesspool of random retarded spewings and creepy innuendo which is repeated verbatim and frequently spouted forth by their automated bot. Their forums aren't much better, with all of the normal fixin's of social posturing, clan posturing and administration favoritism.

So basically, it's like /b/.

People of Interest

• deathz0r: Former Judeo-Bolshevist admin who would lock any fucking topic that doesn't catch his fancy, which was about 2/3rds of them. He was a fucking self-important douche who threatens the banhammer for the lightest infractions. Left the community due to massive butthurt over having his power level taken below nine thousand. He can't seem to let go, however, and still insists on trying to play under an alias every time he obtains a new IP.

• Kilgore: The greek lead programmer. Basically follows whatever the rest of the administration team decides. Gets really pissed when you point out that the launcher is set up to pirate commercial games by default if it can't find them on-hand. Is also suspected to be an anal pirate of sorts himself. [Added Note] This self righteous paranoid stupid mother fucker, has able to pull together some of the most uptight snot nosed programmers in existence whos only purpose is to exploit those who are accused of attempting to sabotage Zdaemon and make a example of them. This person apparently has no idea about running a good game and does not deserve lead programmer in the Staff roster. The one sure fire thing to get a boot-to-the-head from this jackass is simply by trying to defend the cocky Ralphis in anyway possible, might as well start fingering his ass because nothing upsets him more then anyone actually trying to spill the beans and reveal his whole poorly laid excuse to keep every other programmer away while he steals top dog. Perhaps someday he will finally give up pretending to be a 'Government Official' and live up to his new name an hero.

• AlexMax: Former mod who left Zdaemon because he was unable to ignore a couple of complete noobs on the forums, and later he is banned from the ZDaemon community for grandstanding over shit nobody cares about. AlexMax was so butthurt over his ban he decided to make this article. However, he failed to realize that nobody else actually cares about Doom community drama, not even those that were a part of it and especially not ED.

• NightFang: The original "mastermind" behind Zdaemon, who began work with his own source code brand and enough C++ training to pump Paris Hilton's ass with, Also showed off his Computer Science III skills by writing a CSDoom server crasher, and a personal aimbot for his own game. Quit when he realized that people were actually taking his game seriously.

File:Zdaemon raider.jpg

A glimpse at Raider's Aryan heritage.

• Raider: The classic "project lead" who actually does nothing but have his ego masturbated and ban people who don't like him", except his "ego" is suspected to be "masturbated" by teenage girls and the occasional pre-teen. He's suspected to be in his early forties, for perspective.

UPDATE: It seems that Raider and Kilgore the power couple have been keeping a secret from their followers. Ralphis who was good friends with Nightfang and helped in the beginning with programming from the beginning was banned for "Trying to jeopardize the Zdaemon Staff by causing them legal issues". The explanation of why this cess-pool of shit happened can be explained here. Not only did they clean up their own lies but it turns out that Nightfang actually returned to ZDaemon, before permanently packing his bags and fucking out of there, asked Raider if he could take the project back Raider replied "no" then Nightfang stopped giving a shit. No one gives a shit...

File:Zdaemon romeo.jpg

Romeo sharing an intimate moment with a clan member.

• ROBERTK: Greatest fucking player that ever roamed ZDaemon. He recruits himself into other clans every week or so because he has skills. Only black jesus knows why he's not banned yet. Orite the admins are shit eaters.

• Danni: Another programmer with access to the source code, comes on once a year to code one line and then fucks off, also created ZDaemon 2.0, a version that doesn't exist.

  

  A search party attempts to locate Toke's body.

• Toke: (deceased) Toke was an amateur level designer who died because he could not operate a vehicle properly. Known for making numerous, highly repetitive levels often with custom monsters. Toke levels will have roughly 50,000 imps in one room, 500,000 demons in the next, etc. Players disinterested in variety, puzzles or fun fawn over Toke's levels. One Toke map, "PENIFSUCKS," was named after Anti-ZDaemon crusader PENIF following numerous run-ins with The Purple Squad that forced Toke to redesign many of his favorite maps. Toke died shortly after the maps creation.

• SwiftShot: There aren't even enough words in the english language that can even begin to explain just exactly who this jacked up fucktard is. Swiftshot a name where some hate, and some respect only because he got them drunk one night and then beginneth to buttsecks them into a coma only to wake up in his basement strapped to a metal bed with baby mongooses cuddling around them and a TV screen above their head that reads over and over "LOVE ME LOVE ME". Anyway, this troll is possibly one of the most straight forward people who automatically hates every god damn person alive, unless he knows you. He goes out of his way to point out any and all flaws people make just for shits and giggles then proceeds to finger his anus hole while jacking to his exp points never giving any though to how much of his pathetic life he's wasted away to play an online game just so he can tell other people he's better then them. But of course a troll isn't a troll until they start a clan and get everyone in it to immediately back him up in whatever shit drops out of his mouth, thus [NK] was spawned from the depths of hell. Making sure that wherever he went, if he wanted to make someone look stupid just because he can he will always have a brainwashed zombie retard beside him, they went so they can begin sucking on his massively huge E-dick. Maybe some day he will lose the abilities to use his hands and we won't ever have to hear from his vaguely thrown together insults and finally put an end to the reason why Abortions exist.

• Romeo: I asked my crack team of specialists to come up with a name for this guy, but all we could think of was 'dipshit'. His clan practically defined the term clan posturing by having a million members in it but 95% of them too busy playing WoW to actually play.

• Thunder: Deceased. That didn't stop her from becoming the target of a post-mortem lolcow when someone joined a server aliased as her.

• Fucking Gay Sicamore: This mentally retarted Canadian shithead is more stupid than his Russian Ancestors themselves. Constantly wining, sicamore has been receiving anal sex from his daddy since he was about three, legend says. He attempts to make maps and scripts but he fucks up all the time and cannot produce anything but total horse feces. He continues to jizz on the tits of gay SDA clan. His name is Oleg the Faggot.

  

  Gay Sicamore Mapa

• Mr-Cheater: A mentally challenged Canadian and self-proclaimed "biggest troll on zd." In all cases to date, his trolling attempts have resulted in the purest form of fail known to exist. He leaves the community forever at least three times a month. He is known to whine incessantly when banned from any server/IRC for his terrible trolling attempts and then trying to spread drama to places that honestly don't give a fuck and whine when he's kicked out of those places too. Fled to Skulltag, another multiplayer port for Doom after getting serious butthurt. Immediately proceeded to troll the forum as well the IRC channel. He was banned from their IRC channel over 9000 times and managed to get several major Doom IRC channels kicked off of IRC.OFTC.NET before the admins finally grew some balls and decided to ban him from EVERYTHING. After being banned he turned into a total pussy and now spends his free time begging the skulltag admins to unban him and trying to create new accounts to prove that he's changed. HAHAHAHA Disregard that, He was almost V& for giving out 1/10 of Skulltag's Moderation Team's Doxs, so he left to places like Tomgreen, 420chan, ED:IRC and some ventrilo communities that once hold old YTMND users, He'll sadly be missed by those who think his trolling was epic, future and present trolls that are not sucking the Skulltag's Moderation Team's dick. If you see a spectacularly unfunny edit done to this page it's probably done by a Mr-Cheater alt.

Update (11/2010): No one really knows where Mr-Cheater has ran off too. He still tries to play ZDaemon and Skulltag every now and again using aliases. He Also still tries to troll but he's just too bored with the community and left for some music forums. Even though he weilds the Guiness World Record for the world's smallest ballsack. He's a genius with proxies and just ban evades from zdIRC and skulltalk time to time just to fuck with them. He also created LeVar Burton Day.

Mr-Cheater, getting v&.

• Heatpack (Ice_Cold): The very definition of human failure, Ice_Cold is an awesome white TeamSpeak rapper, virgin, and lady's man. He is obviously one of the most skilled e-lovers to ever exist, as you can clearly see by reading one of his fuck logs. He has a strange affliction for plump young Russian girls. He forced a female member of the community named Horsey to kill herself after he was afraid to show up at a mall to meet her.

• AF-Domains: A well known Basement-dweller and IRCop in the community. It is rumored that he hasn't left his basement or seen sunlight since becoming an IRCop years ago. When asked why he is always online he claims he is "paid" to do his job, but won't say how much or in what form; leading to much speculation. One group of strapping young intellectuals has decided to attack this issue head-on, releasing this report which implies that he is not really paid, but frequently gives Raider oral sex to keep his position of power in the community. Some go as far as assuming that he is not human, but actually Raider's male sex-doll that is programmed to K-Line everything in sight while they fuck. This sex puppet fucktard who belongs to Raider has got to have some of the worst administration skills known to man. This basement dweller is so uptight about his job he will ban anyone who dares even try to skid the borderline of trolling, bitching or maybe even starting a conversation about dicks who the fuck knows. Domains who has probably by now has separate account names so that he may stand in awe at his position of power and jack off to Raider's ability to let him keep that position has been the pinnacle of epic fail, letting this man in charge is the same as trying to give a security guard at a mall a gun and telling them to shoot anyone who tries to steal or leave without pay.

• zombeh: Huge attention whore. Became popular by saying "<3 (person)" whenever any random (person) logs in. Will have e-sex with anyone to get moar attention. Thinks she is 1337 at internet, but only knows the memes fail and the shit spamming of "buttsex" (meme courtesy straight from the fucking empty minds at Zdaemon). Has every kind of myspace ripoff page on the internet. Also, emo, 16 year old girl, camwhore,and really sucks at the actual Doom game. Has no point in life besides to get more e-friends that she doesn't know, and have e-sex with other attention whores on ZDaemon, to get more attention from the horny mods (whom encourage this shit by setting the bots to quote all of her "horny moments").

• Penif: Founder and unofficial leader of "The Purple Squad." This guy's daily routine consists of joining cooperative servers and murdering teammates, essentially ruining the game for everyone, or at least as he sees it. Penif is so busy failing at ruining other people's fun that he has yet to be laid and will most definitely die a virgin. Penif believes that his efforts in "ruining other people's fun" are successful, but in reality they result in nothing more than epic failure, as it takes less than nine thousand seconds to call a vote to kick him and his butt buddies off of a server. Also of note, is that Penif has a huge fetish for furry porno and loves to share this fetish with others on irc and that he was unable to correctly spell "Penis". Penif could do the interwebs a huge favor by becoming an hero.

• [DX]Chain Confirmed ipod fanboy and major faggot, he's elitist and is known for sucking the administration's tiny e-dicks. His parents provide a loving home for him and his ipod collection. He's also offended at any mention of piracy or any other illegal activities. To heighten his iPod fueled ejaculation of constant bullshit, he runs an inactive and failure clan which is used in full to keep in touch with his clanmates. When speaking to Chain, be sure to question the existence of God. (he's a devout christfag).

• The Purple Squad: Retards who go around on ZDaemon servers and attempt to be badass by blocking shit and murdering teammates. Sadly, these morons fail to realize that ZDaemon has had the ability to kick and ban people since about 2005, and that their attempts at ruining others fun results in epic failure ever single fucking time.

• Madgunner: This guy is not only a black person, but he's also gay! He is confirmed to have AIDS contractd from buttsex, no doubt. He is known to "rap" on teamspeak and solicite buttsex too. He is also a "PROUD" registered sex offender. Once banned in 2006 for sending pictures of his black dick to people on #zdplayers. Thinks he is an internet tough guy yet he admitted that he was beat up by a girl once. To make a long story short, he is REALLLY GAY! Madgunner was arrested back in 2002 for having sex with 11 year old boy. He was arrested back in 1999 for sex with a dog. He is real sick fuck. QUIT FUCKING MOVING HIM! HE IS ON THE TOP BECAUSE HE IS A REAL SICK FUCK!

• Pl0x aka ZombieMachine: One of Ninja's Australian butt buddies, Pl0x is your typical internet tough guy (Yes, that is actually his real user name.How ironic...) who goes around threatening to kick people's asses and bragging about his foot long dick. Pl0x admits to being on viagra which is quite lulzy, as he is less than nine thousand years old. He is an open and active supporter of legalizing pedophilia and also has a fetish for mancubus porno (WTF is wrong with this dude!?!). When asked by a community member as to why he enjoys his sick fetishes so much, he replied with "my therapist thinks it is healthy for me to look at animated pornography". Pl0x made a clan once, but no one actually gives a shit about it since it died two weeks later, resulting in epic failure and massive butthurt. Arguably the most disturbing fact about this guy is that he may have children. Update: After seeing the horrible stuff that was written about his butt buddy Ninja, Pl0x has decided to vandalize this article. Of course failure ensues whenever he does this, but you should remain villigant nevertheless. If a unfunny edit is made to this page, then most likely Pl0x is the cause. Being the internet tough guy that he is, he has declared that he will "kick ED's fukin ass". How truly horrifying...

• Ninja: Thirteen year old Australian anal pirate who is known for going around on servers and bragging about his massive dick while at the same time offering his sex service to guys. Known for making a short lived clan called BFG which failed miserably and died painfully because no one in the clan actually played Doom. All anyone in BFG would do was pointlessly chat on IRC all day sharing their sexual fantasies with each other. A lulzy fact about this guy is that despite the fact that he offers sexual favors to guys and gets "erections from huge juicy cocks", is that he denies being homosexual and claims that he is "as straight as an arrow". Much lulz occurs if you talk to him about his sexual orientation. Update: Apparently Ninja is attempting to make another pointless clan called "Elite Crew." As you can see from this shitty site, that it is truly serious business.

Hai gaiz mai name is Kal_Foxis and I play ZDaemon on mai PSP!!!!1

• DarthBane aka Animal *: There is not enough deadly shit in the world to supply everyone who wants this fucking kid dead. DarthBane, which is the kid's most-known of many aliases that include S_Tails and AjuntaPall, is a 9 year old Internet Tough Guy from Los Banos, California. He spends the good portion of his day down in the basement on his computer, annoying the piss out of everyone he happens across with stupid comments like ":O :o :O :o I'm breathing!" and "JOIN MY GAME JOIN MY GAME JOIN MY GAME JOIN MY GAME!!!" but when you join his game he pussies out and leaves, and cries to his mommy, who then proceeds to make him a bowl of soup and touch him where he pees. He is afraid of everyone, yet claims to be friends and claims to help everyone, though everyone who he claims likes him have said otherwise, many times. He makes Mr-Cheater look smarter than him. When will this kid take a hint and go become An Hero? [Added Note] Making yet another return to Zdaemon, from months long of fucking off. He tromps around as if he owned the place then screwed some guy in the ass and went to stow him away in the closet. He's the leader of the upcoming future dead clan [BaR] who are nothing but comprised of retards who's IQ has reached below 9000! With his still-and-always-will-be bitching ass as head sucking everyone's dick until they reply "lol nub" then releases the shitfest of pointless internet argues bringing out the original Darthbane we all know and wish would die. So on behalf of all things that are alive and are burning away at your mightiness Darthbane... plox gtfo kay thx bai.

Kal_Foxis IRL

• Kal_Foxis aka Iton_Crux* Just when you thought the ZDaemon community couldn't get any more retarded, this guy pops in. Kal_Foxis is a self-proclaimed homeless person, furfag, diaper fetish enthusiast [1], and a 15 year old internet tough guy who goes around claiming he can beat everyone when in reality he sucks badly. He claims to have ZDaemon and Skulltag on his PSP, but anyone with an IQ above 9000 realizes that this is fucking impossible since both ZDaemon and Skulltag are closed source, and that the PSP uses completely different architecture. Furthermore, the PSP doesn't even have a fucking keyboard or mouse. After realizing that nobody at all likes him, Kal_Foxis decided to cosplay as Iton_Crux, yet the dumbass failed when he told everyone that he was going to do this on teamspeak. Despite the fact that everyone knows that he is Iton_Crux, Kal_Foxis still insists that he is not him, and that Iton_Crux is his little brother. To make this more realistic, while logged in as Iton_Crux, Kal_Foxis will attempt to emulate childish behavior by typing in shit such as "Iza good cruxy 0_o" or "Iza gotta go to bed its past Iza bedtime 0_o" or "HAI EVERY1 ^_^". After being banned from #zdplayers for continuously threatening some other guy who pisses him and his brother off named beelzebub, Kal_Foxis attempted to bypass his ban by creating a new account under the oh so subtle name of PSP_USER resulting in epic failure yet again.
  Update: After realizing that he sucks just as badly at Skulltag as he does at ZDaemon and everything else in life, Kal_Foxis decided to use an aimbot and a wallhack so that he could finally tell off his "haters" and grow his e-peen by an inch or two. While in theory this sounds like a good idea (Skulltag has no cheating detection of any sort), one must remember that Kal_Foxis has a severe case of mental deficiency and as a result does not know how to be discrete when it comes to cheating. As a result, it took less than 9000 seconds for him to get caught and banned as demonstrated by the video below. After receiving the ban hammer, Kal_Foxis attempted to claim he was not cheating but that his psp was sending lag packets which only made it look like he was cheating. Sadly, the Skulltag administrators did not believe this truthful statement, but there is still hope! Kal_Foxis has created a online petition to prove his innocence! It has also recently come to light that in addition to being a liar and a retard, Kal_Foxis is also a furry [2][3][4][5][6][7] and a sick fuck who has a diaper fetish [8].

Update 2 After going a month without skulltag and his impse fetish, he does what any faggot would do. BAN EVADE, but that's not it folks! After ban-evading he straight up tells one of his "friends" that he's kalfoxis in disguise, great move captain dumbass. But it gets better, after a week, about 5 people already thinks that Kalfoxis aka Friskies, was hacking. Great job on being subtle. Then, someone finally tapes a demo and sends it to the admins. But oho it gets better, the dumbass admin remmirath thought Kalfoxis/Nexuiz wasn't hacking what a fucking dumbass. All hope seemed lost, until! Some hater posted a slowed video of that demo on youtube, so remmirath can tell if he was hacking or not because is ballsack is where his brain is supposed to be. And, boom! He's banned. Also, genius move on joining the same clan as one of your haters, nice move there chief.

Just saw the history of this page, Kal_Foxis's name here is "floppy dick", any edit done by "floppy dick" is most likely him.

File:Kal diaper.jpg

Kal_Foxis and his favorite fetish.

File:Kals art.png

One of Kal_Foxis's many artistic masterpieces... He is known to jerk off to this picture on teamspeak.

Protip: If you are going to wallhack, try not to make it this fucking obvious.

Protip: If you are going to aimbot, try not to make it so fucking obvious, I mean really, some random faggot out of nowhere beats a top tier player.

• Mhaas11: Yet another big idiot. Born in Egypt, this guy comes on zdaemon thinking he is a man of the house. This retard will join numerous clans without even asking! He is even seen on #zdplayers with these unauthorized clan tags and the admins are too busy picking their buttholes to do anything about it. Whenever he wins a match on doom he will say something stupid like "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" or "YEAH ME BEST". Mhaas11, best known for his award winning phrase "you can,t see me ( i best ) ; Never give up!!"

Holy Shit Effort

Due to the administration being extremely paranoid after past dissent, trolls and miscellaneous butthurt, trying to gain access to the community itself, for lulz or otherwise, is a bit of an ordeal. IRC access requires a special IRC client that is built in to the game launcher itself (though efforts to modify and recompile a normal IRC client have been met with success in the past) and a valid ZDaemon account (which are automated). To gain forum access, you need to register a forum account and then join IRC and PM one of the admins until they sanity check your IP and activate your account manually. Being 'found out' means being banned from IRC, the forums and the game metaserver itself. Effort.

Clans and the huge E-Dick

ZDaemon, like any other gaming community, has many clans that like any other community, are so retarded that upon actually getting a Wicked Sick (30 frags without getting killed), will make countless moviesto show off their immense virtual penis size and then post it on the Forums, usually done by recent immigrants in the United States. Despite this, they will quickly attack a player who takes this game seriously. Sure, there are decent clans in the Doom world such as DUI Jetsons HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT! (All Skulltag clans are epic failure... Such as A3) that were around long before ZDaemon was. These are not to be confused with the crappy clans on ZDaemon that sometimes start and finish within a week.

The DDoS

When people become sick of Raider's shit, they go out in style. One of the more notorious (and funny) flame-out's in ZDaemon history was CodeImp's exit stage left. CodeImp happened to be the lead coder behind Skulltag Online, a server browser for Skulltag, ZDaemon's "rival". He created an 'update' to Skulltag Online, which was specifically designed to DDoS ZDaemon's master servers when the program was next used. It worked beautifully, and no one could figure out why ZDaemon was offline for a few hours. Unfortunately, he made the mistake of labeling his work, and was finally found out by someone with Computer Science III who took a look inside the program itself with a hex editor.

Update: the lulz unexpectedly continues when someone adds Codeimp's heroic exploits to his profile on the Doom Wiki. His Doom Wiki profile currently contains no mention of the exploit and the discussion page has been blanked while the argument continues in a less conspicuous place, with retarded ZDaemon players screaming about "cyber terrorism" on one side and CodeImp denying everything and making thinly veiled threats on the other.

• Fallout Thread #1
• Fallout Thread #2

Your servers aren't your own

	“	They can do what they want as long as they don't violate (or intentionally allow others to violate) our TOS. Servers that repeatedly allow cheating, unfair gameplay or abuse players have been banned from the master. It's true that you can do anything you want with your server. That's your right because you paid for it. However, I also have the right to exclude it from the master server list if I want to. So, you better run a respectable server if you want anyone to see it in the list.	„
	—Raider

	“	Any server which does not use the master ban list will be removed from the server list in the launcher. The global ban list is intended to eliminate cheaters and other banned users from public servers. We have recently observed several servers which either intentionally or unintentionally ignore the master ban list. We will not allow anyone to circumvent the ban list for any server that advertises to the ZDaemon master. If your server has been banned for this reason, you can correct the problem and contact the ZDaemon staff and request to have your server un-banned.	„
	—Raider, ZDaemon Main Page

Considering the fact that maybe a quarter of the total bans on the banlist are community drama related and not cheating, you, as a server admin, are now forcibly 'involved' with the latest retarded community drama if you like it or not.

The Community

• ZDaemon Main Site (just like the Game, straight out of the 1990's)
• Forums (complete with ringamarole signup process)
• Banlist (tl;dr)
• Skulltag Another online doom port that is so shitty that it makes ZDaemon look good in comparison.

Drama

If you have drama that has yet to be categorized in the main article, link it here

• Someone aliases as another deceased player
• Oh, furries too!
• The administration team covertly releases a "cheat" that actually deletes files off your hard drive.
• Apparently, you aren't allowed to piss pubbies off on your own server

ZDaemon is part of a series on Gaming Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.