The Family Circus

The original comic is known for its heart-warming truths.

The Family Circus (originally called The Family Circle until the magazine—a publication old grannies used to masturbate to while dreaming of a time when men wanted to fuck them—sued and forced the name change) is a comic panel arriving in a newspaper near you. The strip is inked/colored by his son Jeff, whose lobotomy stitches haven't fully healed yet. The real truth was that Keane beat his kids like every other parent did back in the days because if he didn't, they'd probably turn out like Chris Chan or Nevada-tan.

Despite disproving of the myths about the "'burbs and the nukes", this strip is somehow still in print, and is about as milquetoast as watered-down tofu by comparison.

Overall, the strip is completely unfunny. It's also published worldwide, which is probably why half the planet thinks Americunts still want to be cowboys and child molesters. This strip is an even bigger pile of shit than "For Better or Worse", which highlights the boring life of a banal family in Canada. Good God.

Dysfunctional Family Circus

"The Dysfunctional Family Circus" is the name of a series of parodies of The Family Circus. Its themes are mainly about incest, cannibalism, pedophilia, bestiality, Satanism, rape, and ritual murder. Naturally, this goes against what the strip creator was trying to say, but he seems to be completely oblivious to all of this.

The best version was run by Greg Galcik from 1994 to 1999. Galcik's featured original Keane art without captions and allowed DFC fans to suggest their own captions, especially captions that revealed their own tortured childhoods. From these Galcik (and several other editors, some of whom are major Wikipedos in their own right) selected the best ones for internet archive, because they hold the power. Overall, they are perfect for a good family read.

In 1999, Galcik got a cease-and-decist-or-we'll-fuck-you-up letter from King Features Syndicate, Inc., the distributors of Family Circus. While Galcik had a good case under parody protections, after a phone call where he and Keane got to know each other better, Galcik chickened out and dropped the DFC after Keane let him complete his 500th DFC. Much to the chagrin of Keane and Galcik, numerous archives of Galcik's DFC and the earlier works can be found all over the World Wide Web (see below).