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/tg/
/tg/ is 4chan's board for traditional games. Mostly populated by neckbeards, its residents are often referred to as fa/tg/uys and ca/tg/irls, and sometimes variations thereof (such as devou/tg/uardsmen or excellen/tg/entlemen). Though /tg/ is supposed to be for traditional games, any subject that can be tangentially connected to them is fair game for discussion, with the caveat that any given "discussion" on /tg/ will consist of someone taking everything way too seriously, someone fishing guaranteed replies with the most obvious of bait, and someone being a total fucktard about pretty much everything. Note that this tolerance of subject material does not extend to what the janitor dislikes, an obvious example being ERPGs. In the case of the previous example, one can hardly blame a janitor for being a bit "overzealous" with his broom. The board is worksafe, meaning that it is flooded with all sorts of porn.
/tg/ has much in common with /a/ and /v/; instead of talking about how they love games, the board is dedicated to expressing their hate towards everything that can be tangentially linked to the board. Indeed, five minutes in /tg/ supplies 100% the daily recommended allowance of rage.
Fa/tg/uys also seem to love discussing the same tired topics over and over and over again and are also unabashed contrarians, loving to take something established and flip it around because ZOMG SOOOO ORIGINAL AND NEW AND FRESH. Because of this, upon visiting /tg/ you will also inevitably see a thread reading something like "OMG, guise, I've just had an awesome idea!! Right... Guise, listen... Listen, guise... How about... Right... How about good undead?" Most unfortunately, a board once renowned for it's sorta kinda intellectual properties has become a hive of SJWs, spouting buzzwords like "racism" and "misogyny" in total seriousness.
/tg/ has also spawned its own chan, tgchan, which is nowadays mostly ignored and considered something akin to a bastard child.
Origins
Many years ago when 4chan was young, neckbeards claimed "Warhammer Wednesday" on /b/, in which they attempted to flood the board with 40k. Naturally, furries objected to this, as they essentially wanted every day for themselves. Eventually the cucked one himself intervened, and created /tg/. Those who would become fa/tg/uys rejoiced in grand celebration, as they were now free from the predations of sexual deviants, at least of the anthro variety. To this day, even with a fresh userbase, devou/tg/uardsmen are deeply hostile to furries... much like everyone else. Furfags must hide their true natures when venturing to /tg/, lest a thread devolve into "flame the degenerate."
Things /tg/ unanimously likes
- Dwarves - Dwarves are strong, manly, and take shit from no one... making them the opposite of a fa/tg/uy.
- Welsh Corgis
- Crabs - Various types of crabs seem to be a staple in many fantasy genres, from "giant enemy crab" to Oblivion's infamous mudcrab. They can be tasty, too.
- Bears - Bears will fuck your shit right up. Then there is Bear Lore of D&D fame.
- Skeletons - better than those overexposed, faggot zombies, that's for damn sure.
- Brown girls - Generally these take the form of "chocolate elves," which is somewhat understandable, given the /tg/ maxim of "It's not rape if it's an elf."
- Warforged
- Landsknechts - No one can really blame them for liking badass infantry.
- Monstergirls - /tg/ is defined by several things, including card games, RPGs, and fetishes. This particular fetish is all-pervasive.
/tg/ Memes
- HERESY!! - Knee jerk reaction to something a poster doesn't like, or any 40k related subject that would be deemed as such from the perspective of the Imperium. It is occasionally decried as "hurresy" by those who didn't find the board 2 fucking hours ago, though most have come to consider this kind of thoughtless outburst as a fact of life, much like hornet stings and car wrecks.
- Alignment - Many a flame war has been started by the objectively terrible alignment system of D&D, largely due to its total incompatibility with reality or even common sense.
- Excuse me, Commissar
- Just as planned - Derived from the overly complicated machinations of 40k's Tzeentch, the Prince of Plots.
- Dare you enter my magical realm? - As is largely expected of sexually frustrated, socially inept manchildren, they just can't keep it in their pants... or out of their games, apparently. This phrase denotes the injection of a fetish into a game at the expense of everyone else.
- Bear Lore - Taken from a D&D sourcebook that required a Nature check to divine information regarding bears that would be common knowledge to anyone but a fucking Modron.
- Sir Bearington
- SPESS MEHREENS - Taken from Dawn of War: Soulstorm's Indrick Boreale, Captain of the Blood Ravens and Master of Speech Impediments. Less often, fa/tg/uys quote him on the tactic of "STEHL REHN."
- I put on my robe and wizard hat
- Anal circumferance - An actual character attribute taken from FATAL, a ridiculously complex RPG in which the results of sexual intercourse are gleaned by solving quadratic equations. It has been theorized the system was designed by a mathematician with a libido too great for his own good.
How to troll /tg/
/tg/ is one of the easiest boards to troll. Known methods for trolling include:
- 4e > 5e > 3.5e
- "Have you tried not playing D&D?"
- nWoD > oWoD
- "Elf slave wat do?" threads.
- Say that C.S Goto is actually pretty good writer who respects the fluff.
- Explain calmly why Tau are superior to every other race in Warhammer 40,000.
- Japan > The West.
- Wizards are underpowered.
- "This thread is irrelevant. Sage."
- Warmachines > Warhammer 40,000
- Eldar are not cheese mongers, they require real skill to succeed, and they receive no favoritism from GW.
- Touhou
- Basically everything that has anything to do with the Ultramarines.
- Implying implications
- Matt Ward.
- Request moar Cultist, /tg/'s board-tan and the target of merciless enforcing of Rule34 in the form of rapefics.
- Start a thread about medieval weaponry and/or insult polearms
Mods
/tg/ has no mods. That is the truth. Some mod who flips through the boards may delete a thread, but that's it. Sadly, the things were not always that way. In the times of old, the board was ruled by a large group of fascist dickwads called moderators that deleted all the awesome threads and ban EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. Not unlike the 40k universe, dark times for /tg/ indeed.
People were running to and fro, screaming as if the sky had fallen and as if all life had slipped from the natural pattern! "The Janitor!" They cried, "The Janitor has come and savaged our thoughts! He has taken our children! There is no hope but to despair!"
It was unprecedented and unexpected, and indeed it was just as they cried. From gathering to gathering, others tried desperately to piece together thoughts only to watch them melt away into nonexistence. Overhead loomed only a swirling and indefinite morass, and what this creature truly was swiftly became a matter of rampant conjecture. Soon men lept to arms and screamed to the sky, "Down with the Janitor! We must stop him before all is lost! We must destroy him and secure our livelihood!"
But valiant as these cries may have been, they were merely words lost in a din of confusion. Unerringly and without reprieve, Dwarf Fortresses toppled to the ground inexplicably or suffered from irreparable cave-ins. It was as if adamantium had been struck, and a legion of unholy elephants had trampled everything in a straight line across the world. Brainstorming circles which did not explicitly mention roleplaying manuals during their converse went up in flames and evaporated, leaving their participants stunned and confused.
Soon nothing was being created. All that remained was screaming and panic and all pointed their weapons furiously to the sky to call for action. But what action could they take? They were mere mortals before a force we did not understand! They had no tools with which to defend ourselves! Except, of course, their overwhelming stupidity.
"Derp!" they all cried in unison!
One man began conjuring images of anthropomorphic beasts lying with one another. Others joined in, testing the limits of how far the maelstrom would tolerate such a thing. Many continued screaming, "Derp! Derp! Derp!" in a rhythmic chant, hoping that it may perhaps drive the Janitor away to other lands. A few others attempted continue on as if nothing had happened, requesting that they help them min/max their mindless paladins or clerics.
Then, finally, without our even noticing, the great storm, "the Janitor", receded. Pictures of beasts in the throes of passion went unmolested, and though countless people continued to scream nonsense at each other, no more ideas vanished before their due. Gradually, and with much griping, things began to resume as normal. The scars remained, of course, as many insisted that this return to the casual would not last, but for now Dwarf Fortresses sprang up in greater number than before while other threads carried on expressing as many of their previously repressed views as possible.
Those who had come in late, or perhaps those who had seen the chaos but did not want to believe it would reoccur, began to speculate that there never was a "Janitor". They claimed it was merely sorcery; a trick to deceive us, for a laugh at their expense. They had no reason to fear, and as long as we did not grow excited we would all be fine. After all, there had never been reason previously to do away with Dwarves and Touhous, so why now?
Others reflected that it was a time of judgment. At last, a being had come to purge the awful Sodom and Gomorrah that was their filthy land. This had been a long time coming, more was sure to be seen, and above all else it was justified. "The Janitor" was their time of reckoning, and soon we would know who was worthy of survival in the upcoming strife. All beware. All prepare. There will be no forgiveness, no love, no understanding. Only damnation.
Some oldfags speculate that the mods were actually newfags who wrote 500 words of convincing bullshit. It is a mystery what caused the mods and the feared Janitor to disappear. Maybe it was moot's mighty banhammer or something else...
Namefags
- Jim Profit, exceptionally bad troll who ultimately got banned by Mootykins himself. Unable to deal with it, he tried to write several of articles about himself in an otherwise immaculate ED.
- Scriptarius, Finfag who lives in the gray sea of miniatures. Proud ex-owner of a curly hair about which songs were written and the minstrels were sung of in the ages immemorial. Once made an entire Warhammer titan out of gingerbread. His pics can be recognized from the painting of Hitler on the wall.
- Deathleaper's Fangirl, supposedly old school 40k fan and regular contributor to the "weekend smut thread," in which innumerable multitudes gather to read the latest tales of monster on human rape. Being ostensibly female, she's a Tyranid fan. What is it with women and Tyranids? Do they enjoy the constant birthing, or is it a matter of Tyranids being living engines of destruction?
- NiceDaemonette, easily one of the board's most reviled namefags. He is equipped with lewd imagery for any discussion, especially those pertaining to 40k. Two posts by this unrepentant faggot are more than enough to derail most threads, his presence ensuring 100 wrathful posts directed in his general location.
Not To Be Confused With
Links
- 1d4chan, /tg/'s own wiki. When it's up.
- Suptg thread archieve
- archive.moe/tg/
4chanarchieve - /tg/- The Rape Factory, in which /tg/ speculates how one might monetize industrial rape.
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/tg/ is part of a series on Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage. |