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Hyper Forums
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The Hyperactive Forums (aka Hyper Forums) are the internet forums for Australia's largest gaming magazine, Hyper>>. Like every video game-related forums on the internet, circle-jerking nerds whine about why their favourite games shouldn't be hated, why Nintendo are full of fail and AIDS, and WHO TOOK OUR FUCKING POSTCOUNTS.
Despite being a forum primarily about video games, no one actually posts about games on Hyper. Instead, the bulk of posts reside in Off Topic, which is essentially Hyper's version of a smelly, rat-infested shithole. In Off Topic, the most well-known infamous members compete for reputation. FUCKING FIXED AS OFF TOPIC HAS BEEN BLOCKED TO EVERYONE EXCEPT GEMERALD AND PRATTP. AS SUCH OFF TOPIC HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY PERMANENTLY MOVED TO THE MIGHTY JUSTICE FORUMS.
Due to the fact that 99% of Australia's population live within 15 minutes of each other, many members have met in real life causing all sorts of drama outside of and within the forum community. Similar to many other forums, Hyper has a wealth of unique celebrities, most of whom have copious amounts of pep.
Hyper Site & Forum History
Hyperactive 2.0 Website (1987 - 2002)
The original Hyperactive website was the magazine's internet hub and included site options for both the United States & Australia, but no one really knew why since everyone knows that all Americans are illiterate. It contained a whole bunch of useless crap barely related to the magazine that no-one cared about.
phpBB (2002 - 2005)
The first legitimate attempt at creating a usable forum system was a great success and allowed fans of the magazine to express their opinions about Hyper writers and gave them the ability to ask for Tomb Raider nude patches. The Hyper writers who actually bothered to frequent the forum left in disgust when they realised how much of a spam-filled pile of shit in the internet the forums had become.
vBulletin (2005 - present)
In 2005 Hyper changed to a vBulletin system, causing much drama. In early 2008, they upgraded from a hamster and wheel server to one which Next actually pay for. They got their money for this by selling peck (pep cut with crack) to Blake only to take it all away from him when the server was upgraded. Blake cried like a little albino girl for days and days, he even tried to be an hero, but he failed.
Black Thursday (TAT gets Banned)
On the 3rd of July 2008, TAT - the winner of the Most Popular Forumer for 2008 - got banned for posting a picture on this site. Many forumers an hero'd and ragequit due to the insane hypocrisy of this act, until Jubei the Red and his assistant Rawksuga founded the Mighty Justice Forums. MJ is a haven which is free from the white supremacist ways of Next, and unlike the current state of the Hyper Forums, people are free to pretty much post as they wish without constant fear of being butt-fucked unexpectedly. In the time that has passed since TAT's banning, many other users have been hit with temp bans under varying circumstances such as flirting with the line.
UYAC Era
While all went well under the Mighty Justice forums, it was too edgy and outrageous for Jubei to allow to live. It had attracted stigma and he could no longer be attached to it. Fortunately the wealthy philanthropist Alejandro donated much cash to the case and the Upstanding Young Adults Club came to fruition. At around the same time Hyper died for weeks, much rejoicing occurred. Then Hyper came back. There was fear that with it's return, so would nazism return to the internet. But it was worse. Hyper returned with no pep, no post count and no good members. How little things change. UYAC however continued to be a haven for the awesome.
Currently the greatest things in the UYAC world are Dolph Lundgren, sharks, burgers and the easy trolling of Hyper. Current serious topics of debate are the never ending "Does pineapple belong on burgers?" some uncultured members think pineapple does have a place on burgers but they'll soon be proven wrong.
Reputation Points HYPER IS NOW ONLY FOR FAGGOTS AND THERE'S NO MORE REPUTATION OR POST COUNTS.
The Hyper forums use vBulletin's reputation / karma system where users can rate a post as being good or bad, along with a message; commonly referred to as "pep" (positive reputation), and "nep" (negative reputation) by the Hyperactive community. To gain pep, and in turn, become a celebrity in Off Topic you generally need to be a nice guy while bringing the lulz. Some members, however, have risen to fame through spreading nep and causing drama: see Lex Snappington (below). Pep is so sought after that a pep-deity was made using the green pep icons: Peppysaurus Rex.
New users are generally given a leeway of around one hundred posts to make an impression. During this time it is up to the existing community to decide whether or not they should be pepped into staying or nepped into leaving.
One of the options in Hyper's version of vBulletin allows the reputation system to be disabled, resulting in a black person square as opposed to the typical green or red ones. This usually happens when a forum member is nepped constantly for not fitting the established posting mould, and is generally considered to be a mark of extreme failure.
Posters known for their Contribution to Reputation
- Blake
- The Angry Tasmanian
- Stevo
- Quatters
- Ryan Hayward
Ways to gain Pep
- Inflicting burns
- Starting a meme in the IRL Pictures thread
- Posting a good milestone
- Providing lulz
- Not being Artemis
- Flirting with the line
- Being Blake
- Being Blake
- Being Blake
- Being Blake
- Being Blake
- Being Blake
- Being Blake
- Being Blake
- Being Blake
- Being Blake
- Being Blake
- Being Blake
- Being Blake
- Being Blake
- Being Blake
- Being Blake
- Being Blake
- Being Hitler
- Being a girl
Ways to lose Pep include
- Poor first impressions
- Raging
- Trolling poorly
- Posting a poor milestone
- Not delivering a sex tape as promised
- Inducing a NEPZKRIEG (a planned "mass-nepping" of a single poster, usually with a nonsensical message or random .jpg)
- Being Moggo
- Being FX-GTZ
- Being thegreatlordpancake
- Being a girl
- Being alucard
Popular Threads
There are a number of enjoyable threads on Hyper, the following being a good list of threads to start:
Knex Adventures
The user known as Flaps provided large amounts of win when he starred in his Oscar Award-winning performance: "Knex Adventures with Hugo". This series gave birth to several memes, including: "Here comes mum!" and the Flapscopter.
- LINK: Knex Adventures
The Would You Hit It Thread
Created by batman sandwhich, TWYHIT is a place where members can post pictures of hot babes, the only reason the mods allow this is so people (Read: Super Mario) don't post half naked babes in every other thread. Nudity is not allowed on the hyper forums, images like this will get you the ban hammer.
The Positivity and Negativity Threads
Hyper has two threads for it's bipolar members, these threads are made of :) and :( respectively. The Negativity thread is home to poster etnlIcarus, where members challenge him to the crown of most emo poster. It was from this thread that the term "Having the Icky's" was coined.
The IRL Pictures Thread
Basically Hyper's version of Hot or Not. A great deal of memes start out their life in this thread.
Gaming Setup
ITT members clash E-Penii by posting photos of their Master System coupled by their High Definition Sanyo CRT television.
- LINK: Gaming Setups
Hyper Cakes
Hyper has a fascination with cakes, whether lesbian cooking, baking a cake or a 5 minute cake.
The Mods
Hyper is run by a group of extraordinary members whom Next pays handsomely for their hard work and loyalty.
Ashmaran is the current Head Admin of the Hyper Forums. The mods are so loyal to Ashmaran and his current régime that they continue to stay in their positions - despite the massive amounts of faggotry and AIDS that occur daily due to Next having their collective balls in a vice - and support every endeavour that he makes.
—Ashmaran | ||
—Ashmaran | ||
—reposting this for the lulz | ||
—Javer, to Big Kev, shortly before being banned. | ||
The Hyper Meet
Every few months different groups of Hyperians will gather in celebration of their post counts. At a meet, the following things WILL happen:
- Lucypie will prove that she isn't bi-sexual by kissing every girl that attends.
- Artemis will have his facial hair removed by tongue.
- heatz0r and Sir_Psycho will sleep together.
- Gnomey_g will find Mary-Kate & Ashley games to buy.
- Ruda will have dry sex with everyone.
- Lucypie will steal Tales' virginity.
- Comedy Duo Maxi & Quatters will end the meet at the local hospital.
- Quatters will buy at least one $100 round of Jagerbombs.
- Someone will state the fact that Mike-Towns is short.
- Nem and Spud will re-enact their favourite WRESTLEMANIA moments.
- Gemerald will not turn up due to being too busy sucking cocks.
- Moller will ask Bree if he can go out and she'll confiscate his phone and not let him leave the house.
- Burgin will happen.
Video of a typical Hyper Meet
#gg
#gg is an IRC channel run by covert hyper posters who have had their original accounts banned. Some Hyper forumers are members of #gg, however for them to become members without being banned they have to do the following:
- Step 1: Enter the IRC channel
- Step 2: Ask Lead or beeface which thread to "target"
- Step 3: Go to said thread and post Crab.jpg
- Step 4: ??????
- Step 5: PROFIT!
Although the IRC channel is a crucial means of communication for #gg, the main hub for #gg activity is their state-of-the-art website, referred to on the street as 'The Big Easy'.
A Typical #gg Chat Log
<Lead> im gay <simba> me 2 <Lead> im gay <simba> me 2 <Lead> im gay <simba> me 2 <Lead> im gay <simba> me 2 <Lead> im gay <simba> me 2 <Lead> im gay <simba> me 2 <beeface> awer
#gg now
Once considered the bane of Hyperactive's existence, following BLACK THURSDAY many members took back their criticisms of the rogue spam group and hailed them as the true prophets of the forums.
gg, unsurprisingly, no longer cared.
Hyper Villains Legends
DekarTyphon
Dekar rose to villainy when he stole 20,000 dollars from his work to pay for his bad music collection, consisting of Jay-Z bootlegs and Enya live performances. He is also known for living in the indie thread, making up underground artists to gain Pep. In 2007 DekarTyphon formed a popular Groove Metal band called DekarTyphon, the band consists of the members: DekarTyphon, DekarTyphon and DekarTyphon on vocals. However, the band's myspace was taken down after the band went bankrupt one month later, much to everyones pleasure.
—DekarTyphon talks about the band DekarTyphon | ||
B-B-BREAKING NEWS
On the 16th of August, 2008, Dekar redeemed all of his previous discrepancies and his obsession with Indy music (lol not quite) by amassing an incredible 15,000 posts and sticking it to Next. In the tradition of recent mod buttfuckery, despite being completely censored of any explicit or graphic imagery Dekar's 15th and final milestone was deleted, this shitty res'd screencap all that remains of the momentous event.
—DekarTyphon on the current state of the Hyper Forums | ||
gaselite
gaselite achieved much in his time at the Hyperactive Forums. He was the first member to officially reach 10,000 rep points (under the old system), and was given mod status by the forum's internet constabulary. Upon reaching all the highs that an ordinary forumer could, though, gaselite got bored and changed his ways. He became obsessed with taunting others for his own amusement, misusing his mod-powers, culminating in his unlawful editing of a new user's profile picture to a picture of some saggy man tits with a frowny face drawn on them. Upon realising that one of their own had gone rogue, the Mods expelled gaselite from their order; everyone assumed that the drama was over.
Unfortunately for gaselite and the rest of the Hyperactive community, MC FACE cracked the sads and instead of complaining to the forum Admin (as any sane, but butthurt user would do), went straight to the company in control of the Hyper Magazine, Next. Next immediately made their presence known by laying down a brand new set of rules, including a long list of things which will incur an automatic ban (NO EXCEPTIONS). As a result, gaselite received a 2-week temporary ban, ending his smug-fuckery.
Next still keeps tabs on Hyperactive, waiting for unaware users to brainfart, so they, too, can be given the Banhammer.
Morphix
Morphix was an unpopular forum member until he accidentally hit and killed a war veteran whilst speeding in his car, just 2 weeks after getting his P-plates. Currently serving time.
—Morphix | ||
Lex Snappington
Lex is the self-appointed troll of the Hyper Forums. Lex takes a lot of drugs; so much so that future generations of potheads will sniff his cremated remains in the hope of achieving the ultimate high. Lex is known for creating www.erowid.org, and will defend drugs and proclaim their brilliance to no end.
Lex is a constant source of forum drama. It is considered especially lolworthy to established members when n00bs come on the forum and whine, "why did you nep me lex?".
Oldskool
Oldskool, the most beautiful and photogenic of all Hyperians, had also grown tired with the rising amount of faggotry a massive sook due to being unable to post pictures of himself on the Hyper Forums. In a fit of beautiful rage, he posted the included image and text as a sweet farewell to the rising Nazism and Bolshevism of the Hyper mods.
—Skool's last words | ||
Natrak
Former moderator and forum hero Natrak was banned on what shall come to be known as RAGNAROK TUESDAY due to it undoubtedly being one of the final nails in Hyperactive's coffin.
A long time contributor wide across the forum who rarely stirred the pot, Natrak was banned for posting an entirely inoffensive image of Doctor Manhattan with an exaggerated cartoon penis.
SO PREPARE YOURSELVES MORTALS, FOR TONIGHT ASGARD SHALL BURN.
Famous ex-Hyperians
The Coconut King
The Coconut King (also known as TCK) was a wiry Hyperian of average height, with matted-down blonde hair. TCK posted in the early phpBB days, as well as the forum's very first incantation (pre-2002) when it had 4 hideous smilies. The move to phpBB was a positive one for coco, as it allowed him to express his love for Gnomey_g and pirates simultaneously.
Ghost_Recon/gR^/Nickos
Well known for raging on a daily basis, he soon raged hard enough that he left the forums for life.
PunkMonkey
PK was crazy. PK was also the original Hyperian spammer, and was the first ever user to reach 10,000 posts at his height. PK is best understood as an "ancient Blake" although Blake is quite affable whereas punk had a reclusive nature.
bowie
Well renowned for his shitty spelling, bowie had a cult following. Some members read his posts and thought they were reading messages from their God, while others couldn't read them at all due to the poor punctuation, lack of spelling and capitalisation, and an absence of coherence. He especially hated TAT and OldSkOoL, and was under the belief the he was in fact a hot babe, with a special place for catdogs. bowie's downfall came when he posted an extremely rare magic card, which, when played against OrchidEleven causes massive damage, but carries the risk of self destruction when played against Next.
Moggo
Moggo has a long and varied history on Hyper. Moggo v1.0 was mild-mannered and somewhat boring. When he returned to the forums as Moggo v2.0, he did so as a troll that, while being annoying, was always considered to be a shadow of the dominant troll at the time: Sytadel (aka Syt). Whereas Syt's delivery of insults resembled the precise cut of a skilled surgeon, Moggo preferred making those same precision cuts with a sledgehammer. Syt eventually took his foot off the pedal and Moggo eventually became more respected infamous as a troll, although between an obsession with Leigh Loveday's Arse and - more importantly - with Emma Watson he was better known as the forum's own incarnation of Pedobear. To be considered a freaky child-loving pervert by a bunch of sexless gamers is quite a feat.
This reputation only fueled Moggo's fire and he continued to flame and spam more and more, eventually leading to multiple bannings and account remakes. Some say that Moggo still lurks the forums, browsing the "Would you hit it?" thread to view Super Mario's barely-legal jailbait postings from trashy porn sites.
The Captain
The Captain came on drunk one evening and whinged about having his rep reduced by 2 squares in one hit by pep heavyweight TAT. As TAT is was a respected member, the Hyper community took offence to The Captain's words and unleashed a plethora of nep upon him. The rest, as they say, is history.
Saq, aka FX-GTZ
Saq originally attained forum notoriety when she he it posted in an extremely feminine manner, even going as far as describing herself himself itself for the rest of the gullible males on Hyper (who forgot the 30th rule of the internet). Saq made the mistake of posting an image of herself himself itself in a darkened room. 3 minutes later, with the aid of an expensive and extremely technical image modification program, it was revealed that Saq was in fact a man (unconfirmed as of 4/8/2008). Saq still posts at the forums under the name of FX-GTZ. Most of her his its posts are drug-fuelled rants which question whether or not Lex Snappington is indeed the drug superking of the forums. However it has recently come to light that she he it is infact a huge fan of dick girls.
Blazza
A true hero, Blazza was at the birthday bash for a fellow Hyperian's younger sister when he was caught digitally penetrating one of the other younger, and incapacitated, girls at the party. Needless to say Blazza set a standard all should aspire to. One other Hyperian Helmed Horror also stands to be mentioned in this vein, as once, at a friend of his sisters place, he masturbated into her bra which he found. Truly deserves mountains of pep.
TAT aka The Angry Tasmanian
TAT experienced the hard end of the Banhammer when it was revealed that he had posted images of explicit sexual content in this very article while the page was still linked to the Hyperactive Forums. Yes, that's correct: TAT was banned from the Hyper Forums because of something he posted on a completely separate website. Work that fucking shit out.
As well as being the reigning "Most Popular" member of the Hyper Forums, TAT is the current record holder for "Least Number of Infractions to Permanent Ban" at 1. According to the User Infraction Rules at the Hyper Forums, a user shouldn't be permanently banned until they have received 6 infractions. Using this logic not only are all Hyper mods being arse-raped by Next, but none of the cunts can count, either.
—The Angry Tasmanian | ||
UYAC
UYAC the Upstanding Young Adult Club is a hip funky place for only the coolest of people. Everyone used to be on Hyper, generally the ones who ended up on UYAC are the people who dominated rep ladders, annual popularity contests and the ones who promoted and were involved in meets.
Favourite activities of the UYAs are:
- Trolling Hyper
- Raging about Hyper
- Banning people who wear hats while posting
- Burgin
- Getting stoned
- Ripping hectic skids in their VL Commodores (Commodores are the only cars you can buy in Australia)
- Thanking whatever god they believe in that they're not Icky or worse, Aubergine.
UYAC Threads of awesome
Post a Simpsons Screenshot funnier than the last
What a thread. Laughs from start to finish with classic screencaps, classic lines and all round good times [1]
Photos of you burgin.
It's serious business here [2]
The 'Pics or GTFO' UYAC Compendium
If you have pics of someone. You gotta post them. [3]
The "Fuck I'm stoned" thread.
So fucking blizzed. [4]
Unfinished Business
To pineapple or not to pineapple. That is the question. But we all know pineapple doesn't belong on burgers. Fuck you Moller! [5]
Links
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