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Knife Control

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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File:StopKnives.png
Almost as gay as the Parkland Kids. Almost.
File:TheKnifeController.jpg
This is who you're putting in control of all those knives.

Knife Control is what happens when dumb European countries enact stringent gun control laws because of a single school shooting, spend decades importing millions upon millions of Islamic rapefugees in the name of "diversity" and then wake up to the realization that their capital city is now overrun with inexplicably rampant knife crime. This scenario is exactly what began to play out in the United Kingdom in March, 2018, as the city of London hit 8 stabbings per week and incompetent Mayor Sadiq Khan pushed the government to place all blame for the problem on knives rather than blaming the crazy Muslims and Somalian pirates who were actually doing all of the stabbing.

The Home Office's solution to the problem was the #KnifeFree campaign – a trendy fucking hashtag that encourages the citizens of the UK to further render themselves defenseless by abstaining from carrying the sharp multi-purpose utility item that is commonly referred as a "knife". To further hammer home the point of this campaign, they also highlighted several stories from young Britfags who were almost bobby-sticked to death by the coppers just because they had knives.


I Got Stabbed Now I Don't Carry A Knife To Defend Myself


"Noone will stab me if I don't carry a knife!"


"I lost a knife fight in front of my girlfriend so you shouldn't be allowed to defend yourself."


"I saw some kid get stabbed and now I'm scared of cutlery."


An Average Day in Nazi Britain

File:AverageDayInBritfagistan.jpg

Gallery

See Also


External Links


Knife Control
is part of a series on

The British
The Pride of Britain [-+]
Our Rich Cultural Heritage [-+]
The United Kingdom [-+]
[Stop shooting!Pull the trigger]
Knife Control is part of a series on Gun Control
Locus in quo:

Abilene Alleyway Shooting πŸ”« Capital Gazette Shooting πŸ”« Chris Dorner πŸ”« Christchurch mosque attacks πŸ”« Colorado Theatre Shooting πŸ”« David Long πŸ”« Dayton shooting πŸ”« El Paso Walmart Shooting πŸ”« Elliot Rodger πŸ”« Gilroy Garlic Festival Shooting πŸ”« Jacksonville Shooting πŸ”« Kyle Rittenhouse πŸ”« Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting πŸ”« Pulse Nightclub Massacre πŸ”« Randy Stair πŸ”« San Bernardino shooting πŸ”« Sandniggers in Paris πŸ”« Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre πŸ”« Santa Fe High School Shooting πŸ”« Shoahdown at the Synagogue of Doom πŸ”« Las Vegas shooting πŸ”« Texas church shooting πŸ”« Umpqua Community College Shooting πŸ”« Virginia Beach Shooting πŸ”« Washington Navy Yard shooting πŸ”« Youtube shooting πŸ”«

Supporters

Barack Obama πŸ”« Christians πŸ”« Concerned Mothers πŸ”« Democrats πŸ”« Dianne Feinstein πŸ”« Government πŸ”« The Kennedys πŸ”« Kurt Eichenwald πŸ”« Faggots πŸ”« Liberals πŸ”« Michael Bloomberg πŸ”« Jews πŸ”« SJWs πŸ”« Sensitive people πŸ”« Tara Strong πŸ”« Trayvon Martin πŸ”« Quinton Reviews

Main ideas:

Assault Rifle πŸ”« Gun πŸ”« Gun Control πŸ”« Murder πŸ”« Arson πŸ”« Bombs πŸ”« Mass Shooting πŸ”« School Shooting πŸ”«

Haters gonna hate:

Daisy Hogg πŸ”« Killers πŸ”« Republicans

Acts of revenge:

Boston Marathon Bombing πŸ”« Sandniggers in Paris πŸ”« Ariana Grande Massacre πŸ”« London Bridge Attack 2017 πŸ”« Capital Gazette Shooting

Objectors:

Charlton Heston πŸ”« James Holmes πŸ”« NRA πŸ”« Osama Bin Laden πŸ”« Republicans πŸ”« People planning a massacre πŸ”«

Pre-2012 Gun Massacres

Columbine πŸ”« Γ‰cole Polytechnique πŸ”« Dawson College πŸ”« Virginia Tech Massacre πŸ”« Austin, Texas πŸ”« NIU Valentine's Day Massacre πŸ”« Hungerford Massacre πŸ”« Anders Breivik