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Demi Lovato

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BREAKING NEWS!!
DATELINE: HOLLYWOOD 24 July 2018 ... DEMI LOVATO FOUND UNCONSCIOUS FROM HEROIN OD, HIT WITH NARCAN...SRS
You would...

Demi Lovato is an 32-year-old Mexican Disney "star". Like every other girl pumped out of the Disney machine, she is both an actress and a singer.

Career

Barney and Friends

Jewing-up for srs bzns.

Demi Lovato made her acting debut in the series Barney and Friends, where she served as the fat fugly girl with glasses that Barney never talked to alongside her "best friend" and fellow Disney star, Selena Gomez. During her time on Barney, Demi would be seen playing a trumpet, an attempt to hide the large gap in her teeth. She would also have to wear glasses to cover up any signs of childhood down syndrome that was breaking through. All the dramaz can be seen here [[1]]. The mere appearance of Demi on the show caused a large increase in childhood homosexuality across the world and over 9000 muslim kids were stoned to death by their parents.


Camp Cock and Camp Cock 2: The Final Ram

Demi starred alongside the The Jonas Faggots for her first Disney TV movie.

The movie is about a spoiled 16 year old girl who goes to a music camp. She falls in love with Joe Jonas's character, an ugly musician. Unsurprisingly, Demi and Joe Jonas announced they were dating after filming the movies. Demi thought it would be a great idea to brag about dating the virgin faggot, upsetting tweens everywhere. Equally unsurprising is the fact that Joe Jonas once again ended a relationship in an incredibly queer way. Much like how he dumped Taylor Swift via the phone, he was such a huge fag that he couldn't dump Demi himself. He instead got his dad to call her to tell her its over creating lulz across the world and she even had to perform on stage with him the day after causing her butthurt to spew all over twitter. Demi left the faggapolooza tour of the world 6 days early to go to rehab because she couldn't stand Joe fucking Ashley Greene instead of herself even though he wasn't cos hes a Celebi.

Dramaz

Fighting with Miley Cyrus

Demi and Selena made a youtube video, where they basically act like the dumb attention whores they are. Following, Miley Cyrus and her friend Mandy made a response videos speaking the truth of Demi by poking fun at her having a gap in her teeth and applying makeup like a tranny and Selena for being a stupid scene poser. Of course, Miley and Mandy had to put out an apology clarifying that they were not being bitches, when in fact they were.

Fighting with Ashley Greene

The titties Joe Jonas left her for

Joe Jonas dumped Demi right before their Camp Cock Music Tour for one of the sluts from Twilight, Ashley Greene and because shes hotter Joe's purity ring has been missing ever since. Ashley is much older than both Joe and Demi, and more "experienced", having sucked off most big names in the industry such as Ringo Starr and Bubbles and Eddie from Frasier. To further piss off Demi, Joe brings Ashley everywhere with him, including their tour together. One of Demi's tween megafans brought a sign reading "Vampires Suck" to their tour, prompting Nick and the older ugly Jonas Brother to cry and Demi to lol. It is rumored that a catfight later broke out between Demi and Ashley at an airport, and is one of the reasons Demi went to rehab to recover from the pwnage.

Cocaine

Demi is a known cocaine user. She was caught doing many lines of cocaine on film, soon to be released. There were many witnesses:

"Demi was belligerent, being slutty and doing coke all over the house. The guy who hosted the party shot multiple videos of this and what I've seen with my eyes, Demi is screaming, 'Fuck all of you, I'm famous, I don't care what any of you think of me the whole world loves me.' The film showed her in the bathroom as she was finishing a line (of cocaine)."

And that is how rumours get started,pass it on.

Rehab

Demi with her backing dancers shortly before entering rehab; note the perma-virgin in the background.

Demi is currently in rehab for "physical and emotional issues", including cutting and eating disorders when in reality it is because she is an attention whore and she attmepted to beat the shit out of her backup dancer and needed a diversion. She and her family claim her "issues" stem from being Mexican, bullied as a child for being a fugly ex-Barney star.

Demi is a typical 16-year-old girl and proudly displayed the cuts on her wrist, because she's an attention whore. While she has never displayed any signs of an eating disorder, she claims she does to get more attention.


It is rumored that she feels inferior to more attractive Disney sluts like Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez, so much that that even idiots on IdeaWiki pair her off with Goofy in their shitty Kingdom Hearts ideas, and does absolutely anything to get attention, including:

  • Saying she likes The Irate Gamer more.
  • Dating Miley Cyrus's horseface brother, Trace Cyrus of Metrostation
  • Allowing her chin dent to be used to snort crack
  • Dating Rob Kardashian, Kim Kardashian's failure of a brother
  • Dating Fez from That 70's show.
  • Allegedly getting pregnant by a much older man (Fez is 30) and having a hush-hush abortion


Demi will be in rehab until 31st december 2012.

Punching Her Backup Dancer

Demi Lovato went to rehab to avoid taking responsibility for beating the shit out of one of her backup dancers, Alex Welch. Alex Welch, who appeared on America's Next Best Crew, is suing Demi for the altercation. It is rumored that someone alerted Demi's father that she was acting like a slut, and so Demi decided to blame Alex and then falcon punched her.

Daddy Issues

Self-Harming gets you concern, FAST!!!

Much like Lindsay Lohan, Demi has a crazy dad she no longer speaks to and is an attention whore like his daughter. Patrick Lovato has spoken to the press numerous times, blaming Demi's "issues" on Disney, "fame", her mother, the "industry", pizza, Wikileaks,Greenpeace,Haiti and numerous other things, much like a total cunt like his daughter.

Slutty Photos Leaked

Many pictures of Demi were leaked on the internet, including ones with her just in a see-through bra, and two with her pulling down her shirt while surrounded by friends. This pics would have been Fap material had they not been leaked paralell to Hayley Williams Tits tweet which was a lot more bigger news cos shes Hawt. You still fapped though.

Twitter War

In the year 20X2, While watching Disney Channel Demi caught two Eating Disorder jokes on Shake it Up! and So Random, her former show. Butthurt she went on a tirade about skinny girls on TV and Disney decided to pull the episodes. Probably because she threatened reveal the true location of the Disney Vault.

Sightly after that incident Demi announced she will be going on a twitter break, rumors of her re-entering rehab began. She then hosted a twitterview with fake sockpuppet accounts to ease her fan worried.

After the Grammy Pre-show she went on another break to a cleansing retreat, more rumors of a relapse began.

Fans

Just like the Jonas Brothers, her fans are largely 12 year old girls and Christian Conservative Americans who usually hate mexicans.

What can make made Demi Relapse

GREAT JOB GUYS! WE DID IT!

She walks in on Wilmer banging another woman.

She walks in on Wilmer having ass sex with Joe Jonas

Selena Gomez tells her she she will never love her in "that" way.

What /b/tards need to do

Draw a realistic pic of Demi and Selena in a close embrace kissing.

How to troll fans

  • Tell them she's a bitch and a whore, and will never know what a real song sounds like if it cunt punts her
  • Remind them she's only a girlfriend for Joe so fans don't realize he's gay
  • Remind them she's not a virgin
  • Tell them Purity rings are nothing but pieces of cheap plastic that symbolize nothing
  • Tell them she cuts herself. (better yet, tell them that she's an emo and her favorite music is black metal. She's not religious at all.)
  • Even better, tell them she's a Scientologist and Tom Cruise gave her 3 abortions already.
  • Remind them she is a massive coke addict and a slut
  • Remind them she gave her backup dancer a shiner
  • Remind them that every album she has made has flopped
  • Tell them that she is the next Lindsay Lohan
  • Tell them she had an abortion
  • Tell them everyone knows she is a gigantic slut and you've seen her do lines of cocaine yourself

Typical fans reaction

  • "YOU ARE ONLY SAYING THESE THINGS BCUZ UR SO JALOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111
  • "YOU KNOW THAT SHE HAS TALENT, AFTER ALL SHE HAS RELEASED MANY ALBUMS" (Well, everyone of them has flopped)

External Links

The Daily Fail reporting her slutty pictures taken just prior to entering rehab.



Demi Lovato is part of a series on

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