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Kerry Keane
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>Unknown at 04:48, 16 April 2011. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
Your mother is trash for not aborting you. Now your cunt of a mother just feels guilty for bringing you into the world, and like the rest of us, wishes you would die already.
There's nothing worse for an attention whore than having their pathetic crap flushed away. Kerry thought that DejaNews (now Google Groups) was purging itself of her AIDS:
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Not everything I write is showing up where it should.
I *am* anti-American. ... There are about five sane people in this country, it seems. And no, I'm not one of them. I fear that I am turning into another street-corner Jeremiah.
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—Keane, who got that last part right
Crash Into Me: The Meltdown
All that shit was nothing compared to what happened when she got drunk and totalled her car. She thought it was a conspiracy:
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Called Enterprise and left a message, and got a phone response from them right away, saying they had a car. I mean, they called me almost immediately.
Got there, and yet another thing was weird : the car was RED. It is unfailingly silver when I rent it. Very weird. ...
As I was leaving, I saw a rather large middle-aged man watching me. The neighborhood is mixed race, and I know all of the white people in it, and I didn't recognize this guy.
that way there is no way out for me because i have to rape myself in order to 'clear' all of the code ... i'm not gonna testify to every bit of 'code' stolen from my life ... they are carefully taught to not make sense and to use the code that is culled from my life ... i know, i had a dinner conversation with one of these 'fish' ... it was all gassy code from my life, and then the asshole turned around and told me I was 'psychotic'
I googled some stuff and her name is Kerry Lynn Keane. What I gather from googling is that she was the one in the car accident and she was possibly raped at one time. I googled the name Kerry Keane and it ties to this website.
At some point she accumulated too much brain damage to continue posting to Usenet, so she went one step more retarded and made a MySpace page. Much lulziness ensued!
I get medical bills and harassing phone calls from medical billers ALL THE TIME. ... I was strong-armed into getting into an ambulance on several occasions.
Why doesnt baseball stop you from hurting me. To prove to you and your asshole un-generous woman-hurting buddies in baseball, who know this goes on and who dont tell you to stop, I punched myself in the head. Ive been slapping and punching myself in the head for about a year now, and your baseball friends stay in their arrogant little matinee idol tower and bully me about their problem. They have done nothing for me, but play up for the cameras what good guys they are. I have resorted to physically punching and slapping myself and checking myself into emergency rooms to get them to prove how nice they are. They wont do it.
I envision a future in which obsessive, vindictive wackos never follow people on the internet AGAIN. It is possible, people. Menacing or hateful behavior online is NOT "part of the territory" and we should all be thinking of ways to banish these people until they get help and/or get in trouble.
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—Kerry, wishing she hadn't published her crazy everywhere
Following people around on the internet - snooping, hacking, engaging in private "intelligence".....is ILLEGAL. ... Even companies like Google or Wikipedia have no reason to snoop on what you do on the internet and don't have much interest in it....unless you are engaging in something criminal. For that, you would already have to be under suspicion of another crime.
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—Kerry Keane, Internet Lawyer
Kerry has even tried to wipe out this page, claiming that its author was arrested. No such thing has happened, of course, since there's no law against telling the truth about a psycho bitch.
Let's face it, there are no laws in this country that obligate you to practice compassion, forgiveness and consideration. Once you've left a school or workplace, they all forget about you, as if you're not a human being. Don't we all forget those with whom we've shared workplaces and schools and social lives?
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—Kerry
Well, they couldn't wait to forget about you.
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I don't understand how my former employer can carry on as if I don't matter, and is if I ought not feel as if I have the right to anything, as if I'm to blame for everything. I left Columbia because I felt it no longer had a sense of mission, I felt it had not lived up to its values.
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—Kerry, not understanding what the word "fired" means
I have to admit that I've always been interested in celebrity "gossip" but only because it dovetails with my interest in sociology and psychology - the relationship of celebrity to the rest of us, or the relationship of entertainment to the rest of society.
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—Kerry, proving that excuses are like assholes -- everyone has one, and they all stink
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I can't figure out what has happened to me that I can't read like I used to. You would think that someone who had spent her life in academia would be able to get some reading done during a two-year unemployment period.
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—Kerry, who apparently never learned the word "lazy" in all her time in "academia"
Back in 2001, we were in a hiring process at Columbia....and one of the things one of the candidates said to me - after learning I attended Northwestern - was, "you have a reputation at Northwestern."
To me that was disturbing and absurd. I tried very hard to keep a low profile while I was there.
It seems to run in the family. I was just looking through my father's old yearbooks at De La Salle, and he said that his hobby was "sleeping". Why I seem to attract people who hate me without cause is baffling to me.
I'm not blind or stupid about it - it's always been clear to me that they're nothing more than a bunch of creepy racists. Creepy racists who get off thinking they've found their secret little scapegoat, someone on whom they can blame all of their failures and humiliations on.
But the funniest thing happened the other day. I walked up to Duke - and he playfully head-butted me and knocked me right to the ground! It was so unlike him, but he did it in such a cute and playful manner. ... He had a frustrated look on his face, and he head-butted me, like he's trying to tell me, "I know you're having a hard time, and this is how people treat you." He copies what he sees around him.
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—Kerry, whose own dog hates her
Stop raping your dog and maybe he'll treat you better.
Notice how she manages to whine about how the whole world hates her when describing an incident with her own dog.
Vandalism
It's not a big surprise that Kerry has vandalized this page. Check this shit out. She vandalized the Buttsecks page!
Now everyone hates her, and she's gone off mumbling threats to have us all arrested. Ph33r her!
