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Scorehero
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Add pixplzkthnx to Scorehero Plz to be adding some pix now kthnx. Consult the image selection process for help, or just google up some pix.Plz remove this notice once there are plenty of pix. |
Score Herois where your free time goes to die a slow, painful death. ScoreHero turns a normal Guitar Hero player into a full on raging Guitar Queer-o. Created last Thursday, it is a breeding ground for the worst kind of nerd on the series of tubes: the hopelessly obsessed, short tempered Guitar Hero/ Rock Band fanboi. These are the people you see commenting on EVERY Guitar Hero/ Rock Band video exclaiming,
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The site itself can be broken down into two distinct areas: the leaderboards and the forums. The leaderboards are where bored rich teenagers and creepy 40-year-old men come to fap about how they pressed some buttons when their Ecks-Bawks told them to like Asspies. Srsly, troll for great justice. The forums are where people come to discuss how playing the same 3 songs over and over again until they know when EVERY. SINGLE. NOTE. will appear makes them "Like, the greatest guitarist EVARRRRR!!!unoone". The forums can be summarized using a simple equation: /b/- lulz + old memes + fail. The sysops are notorious for their total lack of logic and totally corrupted idea of the definition of trolling, and are known to ban users for even hinting, nay suggesting that maybe, just maybe, their 10 minute youtube videos of them pressing 5 colored buttons in time to a song written by a serious artist (or Homestar Runner, lulz) is not really that impressive, and that they should become An Hero A.S.A.P. KTHNXBAI.
The Leaderboards
Imagine, if you will, that you are 13 again (or for the first time, shota). For your birthday, your parents buy you Guitar Hero. You play it day after day, slowly progressing from Easy to Medium to Hard and finally to Expert. You plink and plunk your way through a few songs, and invite a few friends over and have a great time trying to beat each other's scores and play your favorite songs. One day on the computer, you find there is a small group of people who have taken this fun game and turned it into work: they no longer play it for fun, but to prove that they have a bigger e-penis than you do. The ONLY time they've ever played with someone else was with a 35 year-old stranger at a tournament with 200 other sweaty nerds just like them, and they've played every song at least 100 times. These are the kinds of people who post on the leaderboards - they are on par with tourneyfags when it comes to their total devotion to making their favorite game totally unplayable for everybody else. Let it be known here: no NORP has ever posted a score on the leaderboards. EVAR. The leaderboards are cemented for the most part: once a game has been out for long enough people will have gotten so many high scores that it will be physically impossible to break into even the #100 spot, let alone the top 10. Srsly.
The Forums
The forums are filled with those kids. You know them: they're the quiet kids you saw in school who didn't talk to ANYONE: not the teacher, not other kids, and certainly not you. There are literally hundreds of threads with no replies begging people to play with plastic instruments with them. By far the most pathetic subforums are "Will Rock For Food" (An ironically named forum considering how everyone here is a fatty), where people ask each other to play with them, "Technique, Style, and Gameplay", where you discuss RED BLUE BLUE RED RED GREEN ORANGE YELLOW BLUE YELLOW RED BLUE BLUE BLUE with fellow retards, and "STAR STAR STAR STAR STAR", where you tell people how much of your life you've wasted playing a children's game. Oh, and nice middle finger: stick it to the man. It
Trolling
Due to the total head-in-arse-y-ness of the community as a whole, trolling is remarkably easy:
- Join the forums and start a thread titled "Play Real Guitar". Copypasta:
"My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass colored circles. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun pretending to be a rockstar, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook. Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot on expert. I'm pretty much perfect. I play guitar in a touring band, and we're signed to a major label. What bands do you play in, other than "The Plastic Instrument Faggots Feat. Your Mom? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening."
- Create an account and go to one of the hardest songs on the leaderboards (Hot For Teacher, Freebird, Raining Blood, etc). Because of the fucktarded-ness of the site as a whole, you are not required to post any fucking proof at all of your high scores. Post 3 or 4 points above the highest score - this increases believability. Watch the 13-year old boy who posted the last score BAWWWWWW endlessly, then possibly An Hero. A Winrar is you.
- Do the same as above, but post an obviously shopped pic as proof. The subsequent BAWWWW will drown everyone within a 9001 mile radius. Deny all accusations.
- Go to the Official Guitar Hero News forum. Post about the new Guitar Hero: Rick Astley game coming 2012. When they all baw give them this DECISIVE PROOF: http://tinyurl.com/GHRA-Confirmed
See Also
- Guitar Hero
- Rock Band
- Basement Dweller
- The Actual Site In All It's Faggotry and Glory
- Video Games
- No Life
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Scorehero is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |