Mikhail Pivnev

Mikhail Pivnev
Nationality:	Ruskie
Highscore	injured 1
Top 25?	Lmao fuck no.
Style	Single player
An Hero?	No, pussied out

Mikhail Pivnev or Mikhail Klebold is an unoriginal zoomer nerd from Putinstan who on September 5th 2017 at the ripe age of 15 attempted to bring the legacy of IRL trollers Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold to the khanate but ended up becoming Russia's version of Sebastian Bosse.

Background

Mikhail was born in 2002 in the artic shithole that is Russia. Growing up, he wuz a gud boy, until he started to started to get picked on by the jocks at school. This constant shitting on the little fuck escalated to one time, an incident in 2014 where a group of the lowlifes humiliated him in front of his peers and took his shoes from him. He apparently bitch and moaned about this to his mother about the incident, but she gave zero fucks and told him the incident was his fault. After this incident, Mikhail believed it was the beginning of the end for him and decided he would get revenge on the fucks who assraped him for great justice and lulz. In the months leading up to NBK he became fascinated by Hitluh and teh naz1s and edgy shit like Columbine. Infact our boy Mikey was so dedicated to Reb and VoDKa he turned his Vk page into a literal shrine. He would also threaten pull amok several times to his classmates, which in return would prompt them to report the threats to the principal, but thankfully, the principal didn't believe them. He had also threatened to commit his attack on 9/11 because of lulz, but ultimately didn't.

Loadout

Class Setup
Item	Accessories/Bonus
Primary: Pump action pellet shotgun	Pellet gun mommy and daddy gave to him as a gift. Literally won't kill ANYTHING. Does 1 pt. of damage
Melee: Axe	Generic Axe. Does 5-15 pts of damage
Throwables: Homemade smoke bombs	Meant to be used for concealment and to cause coughing. Does 0 pts of damage
Perk: Nazism	Double damage against Jews, Slavs, and non-whites.

Attack

On 9/5/17 our hero arrives late like his heroes Reb and VoDKa did before their attack strolling into the school wearing a trench coat and combat boots and heading for his class. Upon entering the classroom his 39 year old female teacher demands an explanation, but instead our hero proclaims he came to die and shoots his teacher with his shitty "gun" and strikes her in the head with the axe, but the faggot doesn't even bother to continue to strike her some more to drain her health bar to zero, probably assuming she's dead already. He then continues to shoot his pellet gun in random places but not attempting to shoot at anyone else and throwing smoke bombs like an aspie in a FPS TDM just spamming flash bombs around the map. 3 students escaped the classroom by attempting an hero (AKA jumping out the window) but sustained injures. Eventually our pathetic excuse of a hero is arrested and later cries like a bitch saying how sorry he is.

Aftermath

In Feburary 2019 Mikhail Pissnev was sentenced to d--7 years in jail after expressing deep trolls remorse and is most likely getting buttsecks by older men in the gulag shower rooms as of right now. He is probably also undergoing de-radicalization due to his "NATZEE!!1" beliefs and his probably getting cucked by normie psychiatrists that "Eric and Dylan were not ruskee enough!1" and is to give up his Columbine hentai and furry porn

Videos

Mikey reenacting his "massacre"

Gallery

• Gallery of Failure
• Robbie Hawkins if he was a Columbiner
  Robbie Hawkins if he was a Columbiner
• Too bad that ak isn't real.
  Too bad that ak isn't real.
• File:Pivnevfingergun.jpg
• Eric Harris wannabe
  Eric Harris wannabe
• File:D0A41-62.png
• Russian Neo
  Russian Neo

Graded Score

Graded score
Kill count:	0/20
Accuracy:	1/20 Idiot couldn't aim or kill for shit.
Style:	5/20 First Russian Columbine copycat
Butthurt:	3/20 Nobody cares.
Bonus:	0/20 None.
Total score: 9/100 (F-)

How about acquire ACTUAL weapons next time. Oh, and don't be a pussy with them. See full ranking

See Also

• Vladislav Roslyakov - Russian Columbiner who got it right. Even outdid both Eric and Dylan by death count and execution!
• Sebastian Bosse - Who he basically is.
• Columbine - What he tried to live up to.
• Nazi - What he was.

Mikhail Pivnev is part of a series on Columbine

[All jocks stand up!NBK]