Hulu

Hulu

Type	Website For Streaming Online Content
Founded	2006
Contact Information	12312 W. Olympic Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90064 Phone: 310-571-4700 Fax: 310-571-4883
Key people	CEO Jason Kilar
Industry	Entertainment (Streaming Video)
Products	Every Family Guy clip ever.
Website	Hulu.com

	“	It will simmer your head-meat down to a bubbling brainy fondue.	„
	—Eliza Dushku speaking about Hulu.

Providing viewable content thru a Flash player console, Hulu is a syndication service and media content congregator/aggregator that can give you high definition streaming video from NBC, ABC, FOX, Comedy Central, PBS, USA Network, Bravo, Fuel TV, FX, Speed, Sci Fi, Style, Sundance, E!, G4, Versus, A&E, Oxygen and website content from Funny Or Die and Onion News Network. The site is a wonderful place to go and catch up on all of your favorite television shows, especially if you are too stupid to work a DVR, too poor to afford video-on-demand services from your cable provider, or too lazy to pirate the shit off BitTorrent, but hold on there Mr. Rest-of-the-World… Hulu is only for Americunts.

Nomenclature

Original logo after the Clown Co debacle.

	“	Hulu is short, easy to spell, easy to pronounce, and rhymes with itself. Subjectively, Hulu strikes us as an inherently fun name, one that captures the spirit of the service we're building.	„
	—Hulu CEO Jason Kilar

Originally, Hulu was going to be named “Clown Co,” but the resulting laughter at that domain/company name was so loud, it caused Hulu’s board of directors to reconsider. They chose Hulu and promptly received more laughter, some people even saying that Hulu is the dumbest name a 100 million dollar website could have.

You are going to hear a lot of happy-crap about how the word “Hulu” is some nifty traditional Mandarin word for “a gourd that holds something precious.” Forget all that bullshit, the name “Hulu” was chosen by a marketing team because it is quick, simple, is “fun to say,” and it happens to “tend to remind a person of “Youtube” or “Google.”

The closest real word to “Hulu” is hülü, the Azerbaijani word for “peach.” So while you are in Azerbaijan, plug your laptop in and go and watch this “peach” of a website…oh wait, you can't.

History

Hulu CEO Jason Kilar looking like a smug bastard.

Baldwin explaining that television will rot your brain.

The Hulu venture was thought up in 2006 when a few entertainment and media conglomerates got together and tried to figure out a way to stop people from using torrents to download and watch television shows. Hulu began to take shape in March of 2007 when it was offered as a private beta for a select few testers. Once Google caught wind of this venture, they initially scoffed, but they also quickly snapped up YouTube just in case Hulu turned out to be for real.

Initial Advertisements

President Obama pwnt by Hulu Super Bowl ads.

Further viral advertising.

For several months prior to Hulu’s first public release, they inundated the web and television with viral marketing in the form of commercials and clips that depicted several Hollywood personalities as aliens. The ads stressed that television melted your brains, but that was a good thing, because as aliens they were going to eat them and preferred them as soft as possible. While the advertisements were given a small chuckle at first (the original ad with Alec Baldwin had a higher viewership percentage than the Presidential Inauguration in 2009), people soon realized that smug asshole entertainers talking about being from other planets was probably a lot closer to the truth than any other more comfortable explanation.

The ad campaign, dubbed “We’re Hulu…Evil and proud of it!” was a mild success, spawning sequel advertisements that also stared Baldwin. Some people might argue that publicly proclaiming that you are evil and proud of it might be detrimental to a company’s image, the commercials really hit home when people geo-located outside of the United States attempted to watch Hulu content…then the message became all too clear.

Hulu Desktop

	“	Hulu Desktop is a lean-back viewing experience for your personal computer.	„
	—And the fat nerds get fatter.

Hulu is currently offering a browser free version of its services in the form of “Hulu Desktop,” which is a standalone player that can be used to watch any of Hulu’s online content. It boasts several nifty features such as compatibility with Windows Media Center computer remote controls and the ability to do just about what all other DVR’s can do, unless you are trying to use it in Canada.

Taking On the Torrents

Hulu, from its inception, was designed to combat the downloading and sharing of premium television content via peer to peer file trading. Since that initial design was implemented, hulu has gone out of its way to make that not possible. Since Hulu is an “above the board” company, they cannot use content without permission from the content’s copyright holder. What this means is that if you can get a show you like on a torrent, you should probably download it rather than watch it on Hulu as you will get higher resolution, a better picture, and the ability to burn that show to a CD or DVD and then watch it on your home television.

The original idea of providing free content without the legal hassles is a noble one, but it is also an almost impossible task considering the fact that if you were to attempt something like this, you are going to have to deal with all sorts of prima donnas, media conglomerates, and chintzy Jew lawyers who are trying to wrench every dime out of such shitty programs as Burn Notice. Also, since your programming is paid for by advertisements, torrent files have yet another advantage over your product due to the fact that DVDs don’t have commercials or wait screens. HA HA HA! DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS!!

To further add insult to injury, since Hulu’s content is streaming media viewable through the FLV format, it can also be ripped just like a YouTube video. Several sites offer free Hulu downloading software and you can download “Hulu rips” from various peer to peer downloading sites.

Distribution Outside the United States

Typical foreigner trying to watch House MD.

	“	I click the big Play button I get the message that the service is not available in my area (Meaning suck it Canadian Boy - lol). Anyway I kinda figured it was going to happen and I understand about different rights in Canada and all that jazz, but what I was wondering was if there was a way to sneak around that?	„
	—You and 6 billion other people are wondering the same thing.

For all intents and purposes, Hulu is not available to internet users outside of the United States. This is due to copyright issues that Hulu has with content providers who think they are not getting enough money to warrant worldwide distribution. Of course this problem causes all sorts of rage within the un-American community, often in the form of flat out anger at Americans themselves, as if a normal day to day American could change what a massive conglomerate does with its business.

Ragequotes

Are you in Namibia? This is what you are going to see.

No more Rachel Ray for you, sucka.

By not allowing foreign markets, Hulu risks losing revenue in the short term.

Hulu is banking on the popularity of its content (SNL, Family Guy, The Simpsons) to overcome losses in foreign cash.

The drama caused by Hulu’s hatred of dirty foreigners is quite palpable on the web and is cause for a great many lulz while watching simple Europeans trying to struggle with proxy servers. The very flagrant pop up that tells a foreign viewer they are not allowed to view content is comparable to telling them they are second-class citizens…which they are, a fact that bears great relevance to this article.

	“	How hard can it be to make a freaking TV station for the 'net? Apparently, it's impossible. Note to content providers: if you don't provide any legal means to consume your content, people will do it illegally. That's a shame, because you're not only missing out on advertising income but also go so far as turning away consumers who are willing to pay for your stuff. Illegal, free P2P networks are not your competition. Your only competition is your own mind-boggling stupidity.	„
	—Some dude named Udo.

	“	LOL, I knew there there was no possible way that this site would be more successfull than youtube. They have no features that are useable. They deleted all of the fox content off of youtube, and all in one lame attempt they try to detour you to their crappy website. But people can simply download their shows, or stream them from other countries. They also force you to watch lame advertisements just as though you are watching television. One of the main purposes of streaming television shows is to avoid commercials. Thanks FOX, but try again, because this website sucks ass.	„
	—Matt, the angry Nigerian

	“	Hulu.com is the WORST. It's bad that they can stream to other sites.. but we can't view them because we don't live in the States! I see them on YouTube advertising there 30 to 2 min clips they say Watch Your Favorite Shows. Anytime. For Free. They should add "Only in the USA.. otherwise you guys are fucked.	„
	—CodeBlack, the smelly Turkish Hulu hater.

	“	HULU SUCKS IT DOESENT SHOW THE WHOLE EPISODE I HATE THE BEGINING AND THE END ITS JUST SO STUPID HULU SHOULD BE SUED CAUSE NOBODY LIKES IT AND ITS SHORT IM JUST SO MAD HOPE ITS NOT ON YOUTUBE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!UHHHHH gOD!!!!	„
	—FFFFFFFUUUUUUU

How to Watch Hulu If You Are a Dirty Foreigner

Hulu users complain of bad picture quality and low resolution.

Whereas iTunes is sooooo much better.

No Elisha Dushku for you!

There are several ways to watch Hulu if you cannot due to your geographic location. These are the two that have been tried and to the best of my knowledge work better than others.

Method One

1.Get rid of Internet Explorer you dumbass.

2.Download Firefox. Yes, it sucks for a lot of things, but it also allows you to utilize add-ons which will grant you access to Hulu content, so quit your bitching and follow directions.

3.Get a proxy switching add-on. There are several to choose from. Try more than one to find one that works best for you and also to find one that will allow you to watch Hulu.

4.Find some proxies.

5.Make sure to use a proxy located within the United States.

6.View at your leisure.

Method Two – this method has been blocked several times by Hulu and may not work, depending on which version of hotspot shield you are using, if Hulu is actively trying to block VPNs, or if they have found yet another way to stop the service from accessing their content.

1.Download Hotspot Shield.

2.Run it.

3.Go to Hulu and enjoy.

Eh, Sorry Dirty Foreigners

	“	While it’s annoying for users outside of the U.S. not to have access to the great content, considering that many of the proxy servers also blocked advertisements, you can on some level see where Hulu is coming from on that. Of course, those users are now probably just going to use a service like BitTorrent to find and download the content for free anyway.	„
	—Back to the torrents!!!

Hulu has begun its Final Solution against people outside the United States and are now using geo-positioning to block foreign viewers. While this is a relatively new development, it seems to be air tight at this point in time. Like any other security measure that a programmer will use, eventually there will be a work-around for this new set of events, but until that time, there is no solution.

• UPDATE - Boxee, an internet media center application similar to Windows Media Center, has an RSS feed to Hulu that may be able to be hacked. Read more about it here. The feed sounds a bit flakey, but hey, if you can't get the American television programs you want to watch, don't blame ED.

Disney

The Hulu family of brands, including the new Disney acquisition.

While 3% is a very minor share, adding ABC and Disney will give a long term edge over Youtube.

	“	As @Modex said: Hulu only works inside the USA. I assume he is also Canadian. The huge problem with Canada is extreme protectionism of politically powerful cable monopolies (Shaw, Rogers) that hides under a veneer of support for Canadian cultural content (whatever the that is - as far as I can tell it means huge sums of tax money for bad movies made in Quebec and being able swear in TV dialog after 9PM).	„
	—TWBurger crying about shitty Canadian television and how the Disney/Hulu merger will affect his inability to watch it.

	“	Eventually Disney will own everything.	„
	—Moar crying.

Disney’s ongoing plot to rule the world is no secret. In yet another monstrous move designed to bend young people’s minds, they have acquired a 30% stake in Hulu. While this may seem innocent and wholesome at first, it will probably be the first sign of premium content’s death on the Hulu domain. While right now, it is possible to view certain mature programming, when the reigns are fully taken over by Disney, most of that content will be removed or censored, unless it is something broadcast by ABC or one of the other Disney tendrils that strangle the media world.

Hulu’s Advertising Worth

Hulu is worth more to its advertisers than JewTube is. Why? Because Jewtube mainly consists of videos like this:

Who would want to spend millions of dollars in advertising budget on that crap? Yeah, the video is funny, but it’s longevity value is about three seconds in internet time. Next week there will be something new. Compare this to the main content on Hulu, which is full episode popular television fare. There really is no comparison when both sites go after advertising sponsors. In the future, look to JewTube to branch out or change its original model to include more mainstream content.

Quotes

	“	Fear the internet, enforce the old model	„
	—This seems to be Disney, and Hulu’s take on everything.

“   I realize that my fellow bloggers in the States might be all kinds of enamored over Hulu but for the rest of the world it is just another stupid geotarded product that is as about as useful as female mammary glands on a bull.   „     —Butthurt foreigner Steve Hodson.     “   I can't even find 1 episode of Space: Above and Beyond, Star Trek The Next Generation, or Deep Space Nine. I thought it was supposed to be this great site to watch Tv shows. Well, then why can't I watch the shows I want to watch? They have freaking Howard the Duck but no Duck Tails. WTF is up with that?   „     —A sample of the nerdrage.     “   Good to see Disney buying into the inflated numbers that Hulu pumped out. Now that they’re in - Hulu’s blocked out the non-US viewers. Yes, even those using HotSpotShield type anonymizers. Next step - Outragous Subscriptions. And the end of Hulu. Betcha Newscorp is dumping Hulu. At least they only own 70% now.   „     —Isn’t the whole point of making a business to make money?     “   The four fatal flaws of Hulu: 1. Hulu video is notably grainier than iTunes. It looks terrible blown up to full-screen on anything bigger than a 15" laptop. 2. Hulu's player is much screwier than iTunes. "The following program is brought to you with limited commercial interruption by FILE NOT FOUND." "Firefox has blah blah blah give up." 3. would gladly pay extra, as I did via Apple, to lose the idiotic commercials. An uninterrupted Battlestar episode, or two or three, is a darkly absorbing visit to another world. Not so on Hulu, where Best Buy disrupts the fabric of the show's alternate universe. 4. The final insult: They don't have all the episodes I haven't seen. Why not? I'm serious. Dear Hulu publicists: Why not 30 Rock Season 2, Episode 1?   „     —Shit is so uncash.     “   I work for a small movierental website. So many studio simply panic when you mention the word 'internet', they only think one word from that moment on: 'piracy', the completly miss the more important thing: 'future'   „     —If Hulu keeps going like it is, piracy will be the only future.     “   Media went global 10 years ago, it's time the content providers realize this.   „     —Some guy pissed about the BBC     “   Hulu.com should be dropped from all Canadian search results. It is useless to us, and very annoying.   „     —You can hear the bawwwing all the way down in Texas.     “   I do feel, though, that we as non-Americans need to make our voices heard whenever someone tries to shill Hulu as the next great thing, especially if (and this scenario bugs me) we start seeing more content going Hulu-exclusive.   „     —Like this has ever worked. Previous Quote | Next Quote

Video

How Hulu is going to get rid of Jewtube.

Quitting the tubes forever.

See Also

• Portal:YouTube
• Youtube
• Google Video
• Television
• Rupert Murdoch
• Streaming Video Content
• Copyright

External Links

• Hulu’s Executive Team.

• Go Watch some television. Unless you are a dirty foreigner.

• Excellent discussion on why dirty foreigners cannot and will not receive Hulu.

• Canadian Alternative 1

• Canadian Alternative 2

• Canadian Alternative 3

• Canadian Alternative 4

• LOL, they still hate dirty foreigners.

• Company Profile at Crunchbase.com

Featured article April 5 & 6, 2013
Preceded by Evildoer Korea	Hulu	Succeeded by Social Justice