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Erowid

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Erowid is the result of years of scientific evidence compiled by astronauts under the effects of a wide variety of drugs and substances. If you ever wanted to know exactly how much stove cleaner or nutmeg you need to consume in order to trip balls you have probably come across Erowid as it is the only website on the internet that considers this type of information harm reduction and not too stupid and irresponsible to even mention. Contrary to the thought that Erowid must be hated by the DEA and other drug enforcement agencies around the world, Erowid is actually the leading promoter of drug legislation by conveniently listing exactly which drugs are currently legal in each jurisdiction and how to circumvent laws in place by listing legal but equally potent analogues of potent drugs like Ecstasy and Ketamine.

Dancing With The Island Of Mystical Crystal Interplanetary Space Fairies

The most famous and arguably useful part of Erowid is the Experience Reports feature which allows anonymous users to submit subjective reports of themselves under the influence of drugs. In previous generations, children growing up had to rely on learning the effects of drugs through their quiet uncles who drove the noisy volkswagon, stoner buddies, teachers, and the media. Contrary to what your creepy uncle and since deceased friend may have told you, snorting nutmeg doesn't get you high (it gets you super high) and anything that can be abused is fun and will have almost no side effects. These experience reports aren't just limited to commonly known drugs and household items, in fact, a large portion of the reports are around extremely vague and newly discovered chemical compounds created in sophisticated Chinese laboratories. Without valuable human test subjects provided by Erowid, the public would be unaware of inherent risks of many chemicals such as MDPPP potentially causing Parkinsons Disease and long term Mephedrone use causing people to become brain-dead DJs that speak in tongues while playing happy hardcore songs from 1998.

Erowid founders revealing that the inspiration for creating Erowid was an extraterrestrial being tunneling psychokinetic information through a stuffed toy won at a local carnival.
Donate to Erowid and receive a glass pipe. Wait? It's not a glass pipe? It's just some glass paperweight of a molecule? Fuck that.


   
“ 		 
The ant toxin was in the coffee. I slowly drank some more just to see what the affects would be like. They were pretty unpleasant. Really tingly itching all over my face and I started to feel flush. I stopped at this point and went and drank some water.
  		„
  		 

—Anonymous Male, After drinking coffee with fire ants in it.

   
“ 		 
bibbidy biddibi babba wohhhhhhhs hadabadahh
  		„
  		 

—MC Oddball, After insufflating 250mg of mephedrone daily for two years.


What Drug Is Right For Me?

Despite attempts to claim that Erowid is a harm-reduction website, many realize that it is actually the drug equivalent of metacritic. You wouldn't spend $59.95 purchasing Skyrim without first checking it's reviews would you? Why wouldn't you do the same for drugs? With Erowid, you can find out user opinions of drugs ranging from narcotics to dissociatives to full blown psychedelics and poison. Below is an example of awesome types of drugs with tons of reviews, be sure to check out which interest you!

All of these people woke up dead because they failed to research their drugs first.
  • Dextromethorphan
  • Methamphetamine
  • 3,4-methylenedioxy-N-methylcathinone (Methylone)
  • Datura
  • 2,5-dimethoxy-4-iodophenethylamine (2C-I)
  • Crack
  • 3-MeO-2-Oxo-PCE (Methoxetamine)
  • 1-benzofuran-6-ylpropan-2-amine (6-APB)
  • Sugar
  • 3,4-methylenedioxy-alpha-pyrrolidinopropiophenonepyrrolidinopropiophenonepyrrolidinopropiophenonepyrrolidinopropiophenone (MDPPPPPPPPPP)
  • Salvia
  • β-keto-N-methylbenzodioxolylpropylamine and propylamine accessories
  • Alcohol
  • 2,5-Dimethoxy-4-(propylthio)phenethylamine (2C-T-7)
  • 4-hydroxy-N-methyl-N-ethyltryptamine (Metocin)
  • Etizolam
  • 4-Acetoxy-N-dimethyltryptamine (O-Acetylpsilocin)

And the best till last (You may randomly meet God as a result of dying from these Drugs)

  • Jenkem (This includes Jenkanol, Jenkene, Jenkane and all of their 2, 3 and 4 position substituted analogues)
  • Diphenhydramine
  • Carfentanil
  • Fentanyl

"I Want To Get High But Don't Like Drugs"

What's that, you don't like drugs? Well, we can help you there! Below is a list of other cool shit that is cool, linking to Real Trip Reports!

What a typical Erowid user looks like while submitting a trip report

Billybadhoffa discusses witnessing shadow people and monkeys while under the effects of MDPV. This may seem irresponsible, but he is an astronaut scientist and doing important work.

What have you done lately to further humanity?


How can I get involved?

You may be wondering how you can contribute to a community like Erowid. Just follow the steps below and you too can help future generations.

  • Pour various cleaning chemicals together to create a turbo cocktail and drink it. Report the effects.
  • Purchase new and exciting designer drugs from China or Poland and consume vast quantities over a long period of time.
  • Buy books about pickles and tickles. All proceeds support Erowid.
Erowid

is part of a series on

Drugs

[Cut It OutExpand Your Mind]
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