NeoGAF

NeoGAF admin: Giant racist

NeoGAF is a fail site started by the 40-Year old virgins who like video games. It is known for its Excellent mods and Profound Discussion. The site is plagued by constant GIF spamming and ridiculously esoteric "inside jokes". Its self-obsessed users are sometimes referred to as simply NeoFAGs.

NeoGAF is not the best site to troll due to disposable emails being B&. Mods will delete anything that is repeated and go through so much "quality control" that they manage to cut out quality. Essentially it is a gaming site that makes big deals about Gaming News that was already reported on multiple sites before it. Due to its large cult-like fanbase, it is predicted that this article will be trolled as soon as it hits teh internetz.

Be sure not to sneeze or they might fuck your ass.

The Site's Owner: Tyler Malka

Tyler "EviLore" Malka is the sad loser who runs this site. He has been implicated in several dramas including leaking revenge porn and facepainting it, making racist posts, calling Leigh Alexander names before changing his mind and going SJW for hits and shoving his fat fingers up some woman's ass because he bought her a drink so now she owes him sex.

Tyler is a giant nerd, desperately trying too hard to impress his internet friends into thinking he is cool and banning anyone on NeoGAF who say that he isn't. But despite making a bunch of money from shilling Sony on his site, he still can't find one woman to sleep with him and spends most days doing group activities alone so that he can take pictures of it and later post about it on NeoGAF.

Going to NeoGAF: A Primer

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Hey there honest citizen. You found out the internet. I'm sure you'll be wanting to visit internet based locations relevant to your interests. If you like purchasing items, you may try eBay, the internet auction site. If you like watching entertaining videos, you may want to peruse Youtube. But if you interests are focused on the new phenomena of gaming, then you should try ~~IGN~~ ~~Gamespot~~ ~~Gamespy~~ ~~Engadget~~ ~~Joystiq~~ NeoGAF.

Hold on there Mr. Anxious. You're only getting started at this whole "world wide web" thing, so you need to learn a few rules before you go to sites like NeoGAF.

Step 1: Buy an Email

Though many alternatives that are free exist, you have to pay to get into NeoGAF. I hear your pleas. Enough of this "I already paid money for the internet, now the email too? Why can't this 'internet' thing make like Evolution and take a hike?". Well, NeoGAF is a quality site. Think of it as paying to post there. This is to prevent the harmful cancer of trolls from having their way with this site.

Step 2: Learn the Lingo

At NeoGAF, you'll experience all kinds of people there. As such a "lingua franca" begins to emerge. Terms like LTTP (Late to The Party) and IIRC (If I Recall Correctly) are used profusely in NeoGAF, and it is essential that you use terms like these alot. Some other ones to spam is GAF>(Something here)>GAF and "Ponyfying" your avatar with the courageous visages of the MLP ponies.

Step 3: Write "GAF" correctly

NeoGAF is not written as Neogaf, neogaf, NeoGaf, Neo Gaf, or especially not Neo gaf (This is blasphemy to the GAFFERs).

Step 4: Making GIFs

At NeoGAF, GIFs or Graphic Interchange Format based Animations is important. You may have to upgrade your router to support it. Worry not, though, as GAFFERs feel that GIFs are very important, and now you must too. To make one, get a series of images and put them into an image editing program like GIMP and GIF away. Don't give me that look. GIFs are very funny and important, and are not just people's stupid avatars. Get GIFing.

Step 5: Repetition is Key

In NeoGAF threads, make sure to repeat a similar message over and over again. Also, unless a message has been quoted 1000 times, if someone clarifies something, ignore it. It's not important enough to read.

So honest citizen, you now know how to use the internets. You can now go to sites like NeoGAF and not feel afraid. Happy surfing citizen.

The Mods

The mods at NeoGAF are like the Jews of the internet (Jews can't use the internet normally. Their claws are too big for the keyboard). They have many a rules:

No going to Joystik
Also, no going to Go Nintendo, Sp00ng, VG Charts, Petition Online, ~~Out of the Gulag~~ Imageshack.
No fraternizing with members of the opposite sex.
No shooping or whooping. Srsly.
No Rickrolling
No ~~Raping~~ Saying "Rape Time"
NO CATURDAY WTF??!?!?
No Racism (Towards the inferior races Jews, Spics, or Niggers)
No Lolicon, because it instantly summons the SJWs to battle over the legal rights of fictional characters and the mods are too lazy to properly tame both sides of the ensuing flame wars

There are more tacit rules, like a fgt named PantherLotus got banned for calling all Republicans Mr. Racist Bigoted. Banned for the TRUTH!?!?!!1!!!!1 Despite being an admirable trolling attempt (Unless he actually is a liberal, in which he can go cut himself). Recently, there was also some cool dude named WiiWillRockU who was banned for viral marketing a Professor Layton game on Twitter that he had no financial stake in. And despite the guy creating tons of lulz on GAF, they threw him to the dogs (THOUGH IN THE END THE GUY GOT HIS OWN WEBSITE AND WENT TO E3 while ~~the mods cut themselves in shame~~ said good riddance). Bottom line, GAF mods are unbearable.

Members

After the cleansing of every rational individual that used to post there by feminazi mods, the site is now full of autistic shutins who go on social justice crusades and pretend to be better than everyone else judging them using unrealistic standards that make no sense in real life (which is expected considering the kind of "people" we're talking about). Opa-Ages is frequently hosting neoGAF special olympics threads to decide on the biggest awkward shutin of the month. These are actually photos they chose and posted of themselves in the FaceGAF thread which means they were the best they could find. Yes, these people look like that at their best.

NeoGAF bans

Reasons for ban from NeoGAF: Posting on NeoGAF About missing Pics

Banned for saying people get banned for saying people get banned a lot.
Banned for being a misogynist who believes in conspiracy theories by a the misogynist, conspirator admin.
Everybody getting banned!
Banned for not meeting NeoGAF "standards"
Banned for no reason to intimidate other members

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Banned by mod making a big deal out of him saying people today make a big deal out of nothing

FeoNAG

One day on GAF, a discovery was found. Another site called NAG had been literally copying everything they did. Every fucking thing. ToS, layout, announcements, tags, even those little messages under the username. BELIEVE!!!

But it gets better. Or worse. However you look at it. This guy who runs NAG is from black person and is named Miktar. He's also a dragon furry. No srsly. OB SERVE. Also, he admits he faps to dinos in the thread and says he does it as a hobby and not for a living (Fursecution would prevent such a market from developing). It gets lulzier here:

	“	I like the curve	„
	—Miktar on Dragon Penises.

MOAR PLOTTWISTS!!! It turns out Miktar's real name is Ed Kock and his husband shows up to defend him. This is srs bsns. Also, a pic of a naked man humping an inflatable dragon was found on his FTP. Seriously.

NAG is easy trolling material and can be exploited by the average EDiot as it takes disposable email and has a fanbase of idiots (Not unlike GAF). Just go on NAG and talk about the Furries and Niggers that go there. Also the fanbase is cultish towards their Dragon Leader. They also have Signatures (CLEARLY SUPERIOR!!!!!!)

How To Troll NAG

You can troll NAG fairly easily. Go onto here for all random furry and nigger bashing rants and here for all "GAF>NAG>GAF" spewing.

Also, if that fails, you can always use their IRC at ~~nigger.furfag.gay~~ sa.shadowfire.org for massive win. NAG uses /b/'s memes alot for some strange reason. Furries are not welcome at /b/. Just make sure to there and spam this image from his FTP non-stop.

Members of NeoFAG: Pedophiles in Denial?

Posted on Ausgust, the third, 2012. RurouniZel (A Roneryfag.and a ShittyFan, of 2D Sonic-Games. Insisted upon that with a TL;DR Message, NeoFags who enjoy the Atelier-Series were being Accused of Being Pedophiles Without Giving a emphasis, on Examples of Said-Accusers from Previous-threads, Calling them Pedophiles. Resulting in a Garbage-Circlejerk of people Arguing over Whenever or Not, People who play them are Pedophiles.