Sonic CulT

Sonic CulT is what you would get if you threw elitism, self-loathing, and furfaggotry into a blender. The userbase consists of angsty teenagers that constantly bitch about how much Sonic sucks now (not realizing that he always did) and a bunch of oldbies that bitch about how their community has gone down the shitter -- you can see the same pattern of self-loathing in 4chan's /b/ board. Acting like a Tough Guy Gangsta is also a requirement for joining; as most of the board still seems to be following to role model of convicted Pedophile Pachuka. The Sonic CulT community mainly focuses on hacking the Genesis Sonic games and making the newer ones bearable to play. The veteran hackers of the site have all either left or are waiting around for the next Sonic 2 Beta to be found.

The current owner of the site is Sazpaimon.

Pachuka

The original owner of Sonic CulT was Pachuka (real name: Eric Robert Gray) up until he got arrested and thrown in jail for the second time for sexually assaulting some 15-year-old girl. Before he left, he was notorious for trolling the fuck out of the owners of other Sonic sites, most notably Andy Wolan, who at one point actually threatened to sue Pachuka for causing him so much stress that he started bleeding out of his anus.

Upon being released from prison, Pachuka wrote this letter indicating that he's actually a flaming homosexual:

Dear Sonic Community,

Strange how the mighty have fallen. Forgive my spelling and handwriting; neither are very good. Maybe someone can type this up.

I'll dive into the meat and potatoes of curiosity, you deserve nothing less. In Oct/Nov of 2004, I broke up with a girl who was once my best friend. She had an abusive drug addict boyfriend and she got pregnant; She moved eight hours away. He was beating her while pregnant, so I called the police. He went to jail and she came home. The first time I saw her, her right eyeball was crimson red. It bursts vessels from him punching her. It broke my heart. Her boyfriend got out and followed her home. She gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I loved that little girl to death and couldn't stand the idea of her father hurting her, so I seduced my best friend. Over the next year and a half we dated, but my best friend was a horrid girlfriend and I was a horrid boyfriend. I cheated with twelve different girls, one I'll call "Girl A". Girl A was very disturbed mentally. She couldn't even kiss due to a phobia. Well me and the best friend split, and I realized that I loved her. I was heartbroken, so I got further with Girl A. Girl A had a friend, "Girl B". Girl B was 15, as Girl A was very immature. She hung out with much younger girls to make her feel more mature. Girl B started showing me affectionate attention during my time with Girl A. I was flattered obviously, but I explained that I had no interest. This didn't sway her pursuit, but I dealt with it. In my lame depression, it felt good to be chased. Anyways, Girl A lost her mind and became very abusive towards me. We split and Girl B came to the rescue, with lots of "AWW poor baby" attention.

I was a mental train wreck. One night Girl B called me up saying her boyfriend (who was also in his mid 20s) dumped her for her 14 year old friend, "Girl C". She claimed she was suicidal and sad, so I came along to play hero. Stupid me. I told her she could hang out with me, watch a movie and kick back. Help her feel better, my intents were just that. Unfortunately, her's weren't. We watched the movie and she got frisky. She began cuddling, then kissing on my neck, and purring in my ear. I stopped it and told her we couldn't. She was ok and agreed, but 10 minutes later there she was again. After a bit of back and forth, I gave in, partially due to libido and partially due to my fear of hurting her feelings. So we kissed and touched and got a bit too frisky. Now I didn't fuck her, didn't get a blowjob, no hand action, nothing at all. But I did kiss and grope a girl who was 15; sexual battery. 243.4PC, I think. I COMMITTED A FELONY CRIME. And to top it off, Girl B told Girl C. Girl C told the ex girlfriend, Girl A. Girl A confronted Girl B [Saznote: The letter says “Girl C,” but as it doesn't seem to make sense I'll put girl B. I also changed the next occurrences to “Girl B”], Girl B tells all kinds of horrible stories to cover her ass. But that lie and many others was relayed from the ex girlfriend to the police. Yep, the ex turned me in. By this time, Girl B's father knew. Girl B never told the truth. I guess it was too embarrassing, who knows? To be honest, I can't be sure what happened and I long since stopped caring. Luckily the courts fucked up.

See, the girl and I talked online a bit. I also used DeadAIM. For those who are ignorant of what that is, DeadAIM is a hacked AOL instant messenger. It has a feature that logs ALL conversations. The court took my PC looking for evidence to damn me. They found logs proving she was lying, but there was proof that we fucked around and kissed. No sex, but groping. I was convicted of squeezing a boob. Go Me. Should I be angry? No. Should I blame her? Nope. I did something wrong. She wasn't old enough to make the choice. And as can be seen by her dishonest actions, she couldn't handle the situation. That's why those laws exist, to protect those too immature to handle the complex nature of sexual emotions.

Am I proud of this? No I am not. Ashamed? No. Shame is an emotion reserved for the incurable mistakes. Her life will go on, so will mine. The world doesn't stop spinning for mistakes. So an emotional meltdown and general life factors led me to do something stupid. It doesn't end however. What about that good ol' PACHUKA revenge? Let me explain something. PACHUKA is a fake person. He's also dead. I don't desire retribution anymore because I found the power of forgiveness. Sound lame? Well fuck you. Fuck you too. Forgiveness is the ultimate vengeance.

Think about it. Letting go of the pain of people's actions makes you the better person. I want to be the better person. Not that I look down on anyone anymore.

Same goes from Sonic CulT. I always needed that last word. Had to get everyone. Had that power. Want to know why? I was powerless. My life has been a shitpile since birth. I'm not looking for pity; I'm looking to explain myself. See, I was a nerd from early on. Glasses, body odor, ate my boogers, really a lady-killer. But as life went on, I learned to adapt and assume roles. I played the part of many people. PACHUKA, Seashell, Reala, many others, and I got the attention I desired. I've been a fake for so long, I forgot who I was. I slept with 32 girls in that time, became popular, became the person I wanted to be, like some lame 80s movie.

Why such a passion for Sonic? Well, I was 11 when my mom got cancer. She was very likely to pass away. It was a rough year and we were low on cash, but on my 12th birthday, I got my first genesis and Sonic 1. As lame as it is, Sonic helped me through those hard times. I felt grateful to him for that. So what if the form of your savior started to degrade with time? I hated watching Sonic go through that. Maybe that was the source of my hostility. Who knows, who cares?

Yes I admit, I cheated, hacked, lied my way to the top, but power and acceptance are powerful drugs. Even worse when you stop caring what people think. It becomes control lust. To be honest, I will never give a fuck what you think about me or what you say, but I do regret those I stepped on. The Moogle Cavern, SSRG, Area 51, SFGHQ, the Artail crew, Sonic Classic, and a hundred others. Jan, Andy, Kulock, Sue, and hundreds of random people I abused, I apologize. I don't ask your forgiveness, but I urge you to learn this power. To anyone I hurt, I am sorry.

Such is life. We learn, we grow. If anything, I can serve as a bad example. Don't follow me, don't hero worship me; I was not a good person for a long time. I am not to be emulated or adored. I know from personal experience - be yourself.

For those entering adulthood or entered adulthood, respect your local consent laws. They're there for a reason. And if you're under 18 and you find someone sexually pressuring or taking advantage, call the police. They will listen.

Sorry to disappoint those who wished for me to be a rapist or a child molester, but I'm just not. Look me up, its not that hard, but I had a lot of bad karma and I truly earned all I got. I ran my bath, now I have to soak in it.

Life. Live it. Learn from it. Learn to forgive, learn to let go. Learn to love who you are. If you don't love yourself, who will?

I won't be back.

Yours Truly, Eric

PS - Question everything.
PPS - I miss you all, especially the girl who flies in her dreams. I still call it Plaid ;)

Tree of life, bring to me
The one true thing I truly need
Let the power grow, let it feed
With every person who sees to read

tl;dr: Prison has taught me that raping kids is bad, I used to be an asshole, and I'm not coming back.

The Reala Show

Sometime after Pachuka changed his name to Reala, he decided to test the limits of his e-fame by starring in his own show titled "The Reala Show," which he used to counter-troll a website that made a video mocking him. Both episodes of The Reala Show can be found on Google Video:

The s0nicfreak Saga

s0nicfreak is a girl that ran a torrent site that was forcibly removed by the MPAA. She then fled to Mexico and started camwhoring on the forums in response to many clitpixplz requests. To make money while hiding in Mexico, she started an auction on the site for her used panties, which ended poorly. She was then forced to whore money off her boyfriend. (As a side note, the auction was not the first time she attempted to whore herself for money.

She eventually got knocked up and promised the members of the forums that she would name her child after Yuji Naka, the lead programmer for the Genesis (Megadrive for you eurofags) Sonic games. Noone believed she'd be fucking stupid enough to do it, so she wasn't paid much attention. When she finally did have the baby, she actually went through with it and made her newborn daughter's first name Yujinaka.

Naming her first-born child after a mediocre gaming icon is not the only instance of her creepy obsession. She also had Yuji Naka's name tattooed on her hand. Pictures here.

boobpixfur10bux

The auction for panties was not the first time that s0nicfreak tried to whore herself for money. Back in 2004, she tried to get people to give her money for shitty low-res nudepix. Needless to say, she got the money before the end of the day.

The pictures in question can be found here: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Other Members

Beta - Probably the longest-running admin on the site.

Borisz - Another admin. He's from Hungary, which isn't even locatable on a map, and is therefore most likely a communist.

Ryoga Masaki - Extreme weeaboo/faggot

Stoko - Internet married to Ryoga

Wetflame - Stalker

IUG - Anti-social cunt. Bans all new members upon first forum post.

The Sonic X-treme Hoax

Sonic X-treme was a game that was scheduled to be released on the Sega Saturn, but Sega, already on a suicidal downward spiral, decided not to release a game featuring their mascot on their flagship console even though it was well on its way to completion. Because the game was unreleased, most of the site's members would smash their own dicks with a hammer just to get a chance to play it.

One member, drx, put up a torrent for a fake ISO of a beta version of Sonic X-treme a few days before April Fool's Day, and Chris Senn, one of the people who worked on the actual game, released some game footage to make the hoax seem more legitimate. Apparently the whole fucking website was ignorant of the upcoming holiday and thus went apeshit over the discovery. When it was revealed that it was all just a hoax, the entire community felt so butthurt that some began questioning their personal views of reality itself.

X-CulT

Even the Sonic community had grown tired of Sonic, and, thus, X-CulT was born. X-CulT was created for stealing shit, hacking and researching any game that isn't Sonic-related since the members of the forums need something to do now that nobody that remembers the Genesis gives a fuck about Sonic games anymore. Some of the games covered in X-CulT include

Furfags, retards and losers still flock to the joint regularly, but most of the faggatory still comes from Pachuka himself.

SonicCulT hentai doujinshi drama

(Mitsuharu Takura's comments are in italics.)

From: Mitsuharu Takura Sent: Fri Mar 02 17:07:30 2007

Subject: Quit to upload Furry Bomb doujinsies!! This e-mail from JAPAN. I'm Mitsu Takura,Furry Bomb doujinshi artist. My friends taught me my doujinshies all pages uploading in Sonic cult site. Did you see Furry Bomb's last page? I wrote"Please don't copy,scan,upload~this doujinshi!!!". Want you to upload Furry Bombs. Please quit to upload Furry Bomb doujinshies. If you don't quit to upload,I'll quit to draw Sonic adult.

Alright so let me break this down

This e-mail from JAPAN.

Holy shit an email from JAPAN. This deserves special attention!

I'm Mitsu Takura,Furry Bomb doujinshi artist. My friends taught me my doujinshies all pages uploading in Sonic cult site.

I'm sorry, I can't control it if all your doujin pages feel like uploading themselves. Maybe you should train them better. Your friends seem like they enjoy teaching you things. Maybe they can teach you how to properly train doujin pages!

Did you see Furry Bomb's last page? I wrote"Please don't copy,scan,upload~this doujinshi!!!".

Oh that's okay then, we're only uploading them not copying and scanning them. I thought we were doing something we weren't supposed to do. Phew!

Want you to upload Furry Bombs.

Way ahead of you.

Please quit to upload Furry Bomb doujinshies.

..but...you just said...Oh whatever

If you don't quit to upload,I'll quit to draw Sonic adult.

That's okay then, most of the characters are underage, that means you can keep on drawing them. Can't wait to see Furry Bomb #6

Sonic community takes a trip to bantown

The pigs have simultaneously shut down Sonic CulT, S2Beta, and 7chan, reportedly for child porn on the b section of the site. Obviously a republican KKK conspiracy. The coppers have reportedly hired Mike Sandy, the renowned haxxxxor from the village of black person.