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Stephen Hawking

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Not even Internet Disease can help this
Facebookers comment on Stephen.
They see me rollin'...they hatin'...
I bet he also uses Wikipedia
That was so funny!
Stephen Hawking's Cameo in Doctor Who.

Stephen Hawking is the world's most famous cybernetically augmented pedophile. He is a theoretical physicist and Computer Science XVII graduate with an unfortunate disorder that makes him talk like an old Mac. He's a lot like a modern-day Galileo, if you happened to leave Galileo in the microwave for too long. Coincidentally, Hawking was born exactly 300 years after the death of Galileo. The comparisons end there however, as Galileo was able to wipe his own ass. Stephen Hawking is the only known retard to have contributed to society by writing a book that noone wants to read. Often when you explain to bleeding heart liberals that all retards and cripples should be left by the side of a mountain to die a la Spartan times they bring up the fact that Stephen Hawking is all up in their shit and he's awesome. Even though nobody knows what that robot voice is talking about. They miss the point though, [-] as Stephen Hawking was born on a wheelchair[/-] He was only diagnosed at 21. So it's still totally right to dispose of retards born that way. It is proven that Hawking is the biggest player ever and gets more pussy than all porn stars combined. He supposedly has the hardest wood ever.

God hates Steven...

Professor Hawking contracted Motorneurone disease after a disastrous attempt to divide by zero, using a Speak n Spell machine. Some say that he actually succeeded, and in that instant, all the secrets of the universe were revealed to him in a blinding light. Steven's body could no longer cope with all that information, and chose to shut itself down, in order to save energy for his precious brain. This is how he became the terrifying cyborg monster he is today.

...so does his wife.

A while back, the window licking genius was taken to hospital with unexplained injuries, including a broken wrist, gashes to the face and a cut lip (meth addict?). His nurse claimed that is was the doing of his second wife. In any case this proves 2 things, a) that the boy knows how to party, and 2) that if Steven can get pussy (at least twice), then so can YOU!

He is British

Stephen, as it is actually spelled, is British. He is a fine example of the British education system, however, Americans being American will no doubt claim that Stephen is one of them. Once his immediate family are dead and all the media have forgotten about him, they shall slowly start publishing fraudulent text books claiming he was of American heritage.

Really sick?

It has been speculated that Prof. Hawking is just lazy, and enjoys having his ass wiped by a nurse. He is the smartest guy in the world after all, and who can blame him?

New Theories

On Sunday, April 25th, 2010, the world's smartest man said one of the stupidest things possible. Professor Hawking stated that aliens may very well exist, but that we should avoid them at all costs so they don't sell us into slavery.

   
“ 		 
If aliens visit us, the outcome would be much as when Columbus landed in America, which didn't turn out well for the Native Americans.
  		„
  		 

—Stephen Hawking

Hawking Sex Tape

yup, the boy sure lieks to party.

True Romance

Finally, it can be told.

Hawking Smooth Talk

That's how he gets more pussy than you evar will.

Contributions

Gallery

  • Ah-Hah, I should have known!
    Ah-Hah, I should have known!
  • Bitches don't know bout my quantum particles
    Bitches don't know bout my quantum particles
  • Now you can play as your hero, Stephen Hawking.
    Now you can play as your hero, Stephen Hawking.
  • Even in 0 gravity he still can't get the apple.
    Even in 0 gravity he still can't get the apple.
  • Expounds on his theory about black person hoes
    Expounds on his theory about black person hoes
  • New Ubisoft Game Partnered With The Clever Fucktard Himself
    New Ubisoft Game Partnered With The Clever Fucktard Himself

See also

Stephen Hawking is part of a series on

SCIENCE!

[FizzlePop]

Stephen Hawking
is part of a series on

The British
The Pride of Britain [-+]
Our Rich Cultural Heritage [-+]
The United Kingdom [-+]


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