Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Suburbs

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>AlGore at 19:34, 21 March 2015. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Suburbs cause people to go to totse.

The Suburbs, also known as "suburbia" or "the burbs", is an assembly-line built housing community that one day everyone will live in. In the outskirts of cities suburbs grow rapidly like a spreading cancer on the landscape devouring resources, farmland, and hope along the way. The suburban community consists of a specific ratio:

Per 10,000 identical houses, with identical soccer moms, who drive identical minivans and have identical kids named Jason and Jenniferrrrr, there are:

Spoiled Shits

YO YO! I BE FROM DA GHETTO!! THUG LYFE!

All families from the suburbs are Jew and have at least two SUVs per child they have, as well as both parents who work. Suburbs create many problems starting with the children who are spoiled beyond all belief with the massive amount of income generated by both parents. Since the parents put their jobs and plans for that new Hummer that needs to fill the eighth empty garage spot first, the children are left at home with the T.V on to act as a babysitter. With the combination of watching such mindfucking garbage as MTV as well as having unmoderated access to the internets, the kids will turn into some of the worst scum of society.

The boys will turn into dumbass wiggers who can't speak a word coherent English, and the girls will turn into slutty dressing prostatots who pull all sorts of stupid shit thanks to sites like Livejournal, MySpace and DeviantART. All this violently stupid behavior goes unpunished because society now believes that discipline and a good spanking is child abuse, so drugging them with Ritalin for the hyper, and Paxil for the emo is the more "humane" solution. Suburbs are only second to the Deep South in terms of inbreeding. There is no medication for that though and instead it is accepted as another liberal alternative lifestyle based in the tenets peace and love.

Destruction of Society

Due to such long ways out of the communities and lack of proper transit everyone must have a car, making suburbs the biggest cause of traffic in cities, pollution, and SUV rollover fatalities. Another problem is everyone will eventually become fat and have diabeetus since everyone eats fast food. One day, estimated in a few years, society will come crashing down when the spoiled little fucktards who lived on their parents dime for all their lives, will have to get work to support themselves and their should-have-been-aborted offspring when their parents die. The parents were the last generation without the instant gratification of the internets which actually made them able to focus and gain their successful careers instead of ignoring schoolwork to check the latest message they got on FacebookDISREGARD THAT. They are a bunch of entitled white asshats whose careers are only successful because they jew'd the inheritance away from their siblings who have since joined the ranks of America's forgotten impoverished and unemployed.

Further damage will result from all the CO2 emissions from SUVs causing global warming to melt the ice caps and flood the Earth. With these waters combining with trillion tons of garbage created by fast food outlets; the streets will flow with filth and cause global AIDS. We can only hope the Chinks nuke all the suburbs before that can happen.

And nothing of value will be lost.

See Also
Suburbs
is part of a series on

Life

[BRB HugboxGo Live One]
Retrieved from "http://edramatica.com/index.php?title=Suburbs&oldid=175632"