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Hidoshi
Hidoshi Nobunaga (his real name is Hillary, so manly) is a miserable, rotund wapanese boy, internet troll, and Cosplayfuck from Ontario, Canada. The "Ontario Council for Over-Privileged White Bastard Kids who Hate their Race and Culture" says that Hidoshi "...May be the most absurd and certainly the most white wapanese asshead to ever infect the internet with his self-loathing and asshattery." (Published Online Report January 2006). On the few occasions that he's not jammed up Usagi Kou's ass, he is making life both difficult and amusing for people online who actually don't mind being whatever race they were born.
Red Sun Troll Rising
hidoshi began his career on the internet in the same anonymous toilet that all trolls begin in- but unlike his fellow trolls, Hidoshi had a flair for the Azn aesthetic, and a vast knowledge of asian culture gained from watching tons of anime and surfing asian porn sites. Almost overnight, he took his painfully amateurish photographs and sketches and went public as "Hidoshi". He tries to pretend to be a web-designer, but he really just beats off to 16 year old Japanese schoolgirl pictures online, acts like a dickhead troll on Live Journal, and maintains a website to make himself look like he's trying to be professional and normal.
Being wapanese, "Hidoshi" is his dream-world name, the name he imagines he'd have if he lived in the fantasy anime world, populated by tons of hot Azn chicks and barely-dressed young girls with eyes the size of basketballs. His actual boring European name is not recorded in the Canadian National Database for White Kids Lost to Wapanese Schizophrenic Withdrawal (WKLWSW) because his Lutheran parents disowned his lily-white ass the day he came home wearing mascara to force his eyes to look slanty.
A New Name, to Overcome His Dishonor
The eradication of his birth certificate by his painfully white family left him without a name, but he took this opportunity to get rid of his original boring name, (which was probably something like Kevin) and looked to his love for Asian culture to inspire him. In a stunning display of originality, he took the name of Oda Nobunaga, a kick-ass Samurai who nearly took over Japan centuries ago- though unlike Hidoshi, Oda Nobunaga was competent, sane, not ashamed to be what race he was born, and Oda Nobunaga had moved out of his parent's home by age 17. At 29 and still beating off in his parent's basement, Hidoshi is a bit behind his idol.
Hidoshi's parents did finally take him back in, but made him <live in the basement, requiring him to go below anytime his white relatives- which is all of his relatives- visit.
Hidoshi wished for ages that he could get off the couch he lives on in his parent's basement long enough to see if his fat gut and arms (hard-carved out of years of mountain dew and Burger King discipline) could actually lift a samurai sword, but this would have required him to stop beating off to asian porn and preparing for his coolest cosplay show evar. So he never got around to it.
An Enemy of the Tanaka Clan
Hidoshi finally left home one night, in a huff because his parents wouldn't let him watch the famous anime Sailormoon, and was shocked to discover two heavily armed and armored air-tanks hovering in his backyard, ready to take him out to do battle with the wicked Tanaka Clan. Grabbing his trusty spiked three-piece-rod, and pulling his hair back into the best wapanese ponytail-topknot-fucktard thingy he could, he swooped off to Japan to save his people.
Upon awakening in the hospital, Hidoshi discovered that he had in fact fallen down the stairs when the railing broke as he screamed and cried and yanked on it in frustration at his parent's refusal to let him see his cartoon. All the same, to this day he is still a sworn enemy of the Tanaka Clan and waits everyday for a 16 year old girl to come to his door dressed in a skimpy martial arts outfit and wielding a massive oversized sword, who will give him a blowjob and teach him super leet martial arts skills.
Hidoshi the Oni: Trolling Feudal Japanese Style
Oni were the trolls of ancient japan. In honor of their great tradition, Hidoshi has gone all over the internet posing as a Buddhist and a "Theosophist" which is another name for a special sort of pagan religion, which gives you permission to believe that all religions are true, and to essentially believe whatever the fuck you want.
Hidoshi trys his hardest to make people think he's not a wapanese loser, but an actual Asian. Oddly enough, even the most idiotic people online seem to be able to smell out his honky white ass, even through a computer monitor.
To date, Hidoshi has been removed from eleven live journal anime communities and cosplay communities, for being himself. His imitation buddhist act has led him to put his white foot in his fake asian mouth time and time again at the live journal buddhists community, but only the kindness of the owner there- who doesn't think that the internet is serious business- has allowed Hidoshi to be his bitter and stupid wapanese self. The actual Buddhists there read Hidoshi's posts when they need a bit of levity or relief from the seriousness of their meditation schedules.
In the Mood for Rape, and a Surprise in the End
Hidoshi finally met his dream: a 16 year old Japanese schoolgirl online that he could rape. Upon arriving in Tokyo, Japan, Hidoshi had to be escorted from the airport by security because of the reactions of the local actual Japanese- which was a shocking outburst of anger and violence towards his pasty, fat white ass. He made it to the schoolyard that he was supposed to meet his dream girl in, but she turned out to be a police sting.
Hidoshi spent 6 months in a rice crate, being raped by a scary japanese man. In deep withdrawal from reality, Hidoshi was able to see that his asian bubba was in reality a demon beef-injector that came from outer space to destroy the federation of mankind, and that he had to resist the implantation of the tracking device that would latch on to his colon and lead the demon beef injectors back to the headquarters of the Air Armor Squadron.
By the time the American consulate sprung Hidoshi from jail, he was at peace- getting tons of hot asian semen pumped up his ass turned out to be a kind fate- for Hidoshi knew that at least a little bit of that man's Japanese sperm was swimming around in him, and would always be there, in some way- meaning that he was no longer Wapanese, but Azn.
Various Troll Identities and Pseudopodia
You may have seen Hidoshi's posts, if you have ever seen the following user names:
- Reply from suspended user
- hideyuki_tah
- arashi842
- artistic_g4m3r
- arasi_kitty
- Hidoshi_Nobunaga
- Hidoshi
- sithlordsanji
- darth_strix
- narutoyaoi
- saeto
- anon81033
- bebe2886
- Busta9877
- dynamycpnai
- firedude289
- geesoto79
- Grterpower
- IncuMozfan
- Iznoquarter420
- erikpineda
Hidoshi and Drugs
An anonymous ED user has come in and given this moving testimony:
"I am adding this, having delt with this man in the past. I know him as a pusher of ecstascy and marijiuana and other drugs. I purchased my first 'e' pill from him at age 13 and grew quickly addicted. He continued to provide me with it, eventually convincing me to try other things like acid, 'shrooms, special K and cocaine. Because of him, I became an addicted shell, dropping out of school at age 15. I was warned about him from freiends, family, my pastor and people in my school and community, but I didn't listen to them. He was so nice to me. It all basically started because I loved to watch Anime and was fascinated with Japan. The drugs came up later, when he handed me an 'e' pill at a J-pop dance at an anime convention. He acted like my friend, then when i wanted more, he charged me for it. I am 18 now, and trying to get my GED, struggling to overcome my addiction. Because of him, I f'cked up my life. I dropped out, lived on the streets for a matter of eleven months off and on, starting when i was 16. I am just now getting things under control. I f'cked things in relationships with my parents, my friends, my relatives and my little brother who I stole from so I could afford more drugs. He used to trust in me, look up to me. Now, he doesn't trust me and barely talks to me. This man screwed up my life and has done the same and keeps doing the same. He preys on young kids, seeing the money he can make and the sexual favours he can gain from the girls. He is a scum bag and you shouldn't trust him. He seems like some computer geek, like he couldn't be anything dangerous but he's hiding this part."
Hidoshi and Lolicon: The Great Sundering
A short and concise account: Hidoshi, teh wapanese boy of great failure was once seen placing what seemed to be a giant girl shaped condom on his disfigured cock. This was later discovered to be a 12 year old lolicon, whom Hidoshi succeeded in tearing apart. He forced her vagina straight out her mouth after penetration. 13 others have gone missing, and 20 bodies have been found this way. Hidoshi, I salute you.
External Links
See Also
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Hidoshi is related to a series on AZNS. | [Herrow] |
