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Ass Rape

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Ass rape is like regular rape except that it's in the ass. The politically correct term for ass rape is surprise buttsecks. Frivolous mentions of ass rape are triggers that send the almost raped into rabid convulsions of self-righteousness and generate many lulzy proclamations about how insensitive metaphors contribute to their victimhood. Like normal rape, victims of ass rape are asking for it.

What the fuck is it with cats?

In order to help the almost raped overcome their painful experiences with foreplay, it is important to use the phrase "ass raped" at every available opportunity.


Health Benefits

As the inside of one's ass contains far more membranes than any other orifice, it will absorb the rapist's semen at an accelerated rate, entering it directly into your bloodstream and providing you with well needed protein. Being ass raped will help prevent aging.

For this reason, you must never let the rapist felch you after depositing his semen. You must keep his sweet victual nectar contained in your ass for as long as possible, giving it a chance to seep in.

SURPRISE!


See Also


 

Ass Rape is part of a series on

Sex

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Ass Rape
is part of a series on
Surprise Sex
 

Forms of Rape

Almost Rape πŸ’” Asking for it πŸ’” Ass Rape πŸ’” Baby Rape πŸ’” CΓ¦k RΓ¦p πŸ’” Cyber Rape πŸ’” Date Rape πŸ’” Ear Rape πŸ’” Fart Rape πŸ’” Gay Rape πŸ’” Prison Rape

Rapey Shit

Battle Raper πŸ’” Campus Rape Epidemic πŸ’” Clarissa πŸ’” Here Comes The Airplane πŸ’” Netorare πŸ’” Rape Checklist πŸ’” Rape Clock πŸ’” Rape culture πŸ’” Rape Day πŸ’” Rape dollars πŸ’” Raped Statistics πŸ’” Rape Kit πŸ’” RapeLay πŸ’” rape.sh πŸ’” RapeX πŸ’” Raping Little Suzy πŸ’” Sharking πŸ’” Stealthing πŸ’” You Gonna Get Raped

[No means no!Moar ræp plox!]


Fake Rape Victims

April Fletcher πŸ’” Bill Cosby Accusers πŸ’” Brock Turner's Drinking Buddy πŸ’” Charlotte Eloise Smith πŸ’” Crystal Shinkle πŸ’” Cyntoia Brown πŸ’” Eleanor de Freitas πŸ’” Emelia Holden πŸ’” Emma Sulkowicz πŸ’” Erica Kinsman πŸ’” Farrah Abraham πŸ’” Jackie Coakley πŸ’” Jennifer Marie Baquing πŸ’” Heather Lind πŸ’” Jessica Leeds πŸ’” Kesha Rose Sebert πŸ’” Kicesie πŸ’” Kurt Eichenwald πŸ’” Lena Dunham πŸ’” Magz πŸ’” Michael Gimson πŸ’” Michael Jackson's Playmates πŸ’” Nikki Joly πŸ’” Trump Rape Accusers πŸ’” The Unrapeable πŸ’” Vigouroux


Real Rape Victims

Noone


IRL Rapists & Sexual Predators

Al Franken πŸ’ž Andi Dier πŸ’ž Australians πŸ’ž The Batman Rapist πŸ’ž Bill Clinton πŸ’ž Bubba πŸ’ž Carter Reynolds πŸ’ž Dan Schneider πŸ’ž Dr. Date Rape πŸ’ž George Takei πŸ’ž Glenn Beck πŸ’ž Harvey Weinstein πŸ’ž Herman Cain πŸ’ž John Kricfalusi πŸ’ž Josef Fritzl πŸ’ž Kurt Eichenbald πŸ’ž Laurelai πŸ’ž Lena Dunham πŸ’ž Mohammed πŸ’ž Rapefugees πŸ’ž Russell Brand πŸ’ž Sean Windingland πŸ’ž Stormy Daniels πŸ’ž Ron Corcoran πŸ’ž The Krassenstein Brothers πŸ’ž Tyler Malka πŸ’ž Wallace Spencer πŸ’ž Zoe Quinn


Fictional Rapists

A RAPE SPIDER πŸ’ž 8-Bit George Armstrong Custer πŸ’ž Donald Drumpf πŸ’ž Pyramid Head πŸ’ž RAPE APE πŸ’ž The Rapeman πŸ’ž Rape Rodent