WhiteMystery

WhiteMystery is a bisexual goth tranny sysop carebear robot belonging to girlvinyl and possessing 500 e-monies on Encyclopedia Dramatica. Its main directive is to construct additional pylons, and to replicate its genetic material — it comes as no surprise many have mistaken it for a human being. Also, WhiteMystery owns and assumably molests a cat.

The only mystery here is the fucking gender.

?

You too can taste WhiteMystery, but now without getting the AIDS!

WhiteMystery's calling card

About WhiteMystery

Last thursday, WhiteMystery was seen quitting IRC forever after explaining to aempirei that he would never understand the special things that went on in #ed. WhiteMystery had threatened to gline oclet for reasons unknown, and hepkitten explained to him that he would never chat as hard as oldfags like her and oclet and that this was generally a poor thing to lack. Due to the Curse of WhiteMystery, the #ed and the whole IRC network died only 30 minutes later. The manner in which this phenomenon occurred is still poorly understood. General consensus was that chatting is not a crime, and one bystander remarked that WhiteMystery should perish in a fire. Many were left asking, where is the lulz? Others decided they were now officially bored to death. When ED comes out on DVD, we may find clues to what really went down. Because WhiteMystery is a goth tranny sysop carebear robot belonging to girlvinyl and possessing 500 e-monies, he is immune to any form of interference. An ability to gain favor with homosexuals is speculated to be key in his bid for power. Because no one among us can escape this, we can expect our pants to continue being charmed off for years to come. You can detect WM's growing influence on ED by a trademark failed snarkiness and unneccessary usage of his sig within the bowels of the wiki. We're through the looking glass here, people.

Who WhiteMystery Would Like To Meet

	“	"Fuuuuuuuuuck. Apparently hard chat just got my OKCupid account removed pending investigation for posting pornographic images. How is a girl supposed to get a date now?"	„
	— just moments after more than one person told him to chat harder

	“	Seriously, WhiteMystery is the cat's meowth. I would hit it. Twice...	„
	—Weatherman

What You Should Know About WhiteMystery

	“	"I have a filthy sense of humor and I think you should too. Nothing is sacred. I refuse to put up with drama and bullshit. I'm honest and I expect honesty. You have to have a dirty mouth, appreciate sarcasm, and rarely be offended for us to get along."	„
	—read: hispanic and proud!

Most Private Thing WhiteMystery Would Be Willing To Admit Here:

	“	Immediately after losing my virginity I went back to my video game, which I put on pause immediately before.	„
	—WhiteMystery

See also

• WhiteMystery/QuitsIRCForever
• MysteryBot - Robot minion
• Mystic Meg
• WhiteMystery's Dog

External Links

• A past life?
• Another past life?

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WhiteMystery is part of a series on the former regimes

Corporate Shill Branch Girlvinyl • Jacknstock • Killhamster • Pink Poodle • Sheneequa • Thedreadedkettle • Zaiger • Conrad Alan Rockenhaus • Aediot • Umkemesik • MarioMario456 Unwitting Pawn Branch Blu Aardvark • BURK • Crazyconan • Ed Lolington • kale • Kazantzakis • Onideus • OtterWhiskers • Quasidan • Riboflavin • Schnookums • Tfo • ShardDax • vanff • Vermin • wattage • weev • WKD • WhiteMystery • Zenophile Angry Patriot Ghost Branch AlGore • Andrewpants • OldDirtyBtard • Rubberduc • yiri See Also Encyclopedia Dramatica • Epic Battle • Joseph Evers • MysteryBot • OhInternet • Sellout • Sheneequa Turns Four • The War of Zaiger Aggression