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Joseph Evers

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Joseph Evers believes in freedom of information for all eternity.

Joseph Evers
One of the few pictures of Evers before the age of 30, Evers (left) is seen here in Las Vegas.

Biography

Dr. Joseph Evers was born on April 20, 1972, in Los Angeles, California. He graduated with honors from the Los Angeles Center for Enriched Studies in 1990. He finished magna cum laude with a Baccalaureate of Sciences in Mathematics from UCLA in 1994. He finished his Juris Doctor summa cum laude from UCLA School of Law in 1998. He went on to receive a a Doctorate in Quantitative Finance from Zhejiang University in 2000.

He currently runs Dramatica, Inc (parent company of Encyclopedia Dramatica) as well as an information security consulting firm and an multinational hedge fund and shipping company.

Moar info please

Joseph Evers has a habit of showing up at the homes of ED sysops and users on weeknights and engaging in unreasonable levels of substance abuse.

Once Joseph Evers showed up on Fubster's front porch in South Florida, drank an entire liter of low grade Tequila and proceeded to projectile vomit all over his porch. This was about four days after he was released from USC University Hospital in Los Angeles, where he received treatment for symptoms related to a bleeding stomach ulcer. Joseph Evers showed up at Weev's former residence in North Carolina with twelve grams of cocaine. After snorting five grams of the pile, Evers became extremely agitated. Weev's ex-girlfriend said that Debian was worthless and he got angry and started beating up on her. The cops had to be called in to remove him. At Lulzcon 2006, Evers ate four whole Jimsonweed roots and dropped into a series of seizures. His aide had to force-feed him acetylcholine, nicotine, and benzodiazepines to avoid an ill-timed hospitalization. When he regained full control of his faculties three days later, he fled the area.


Everspotting

After Lulzcon 2006 Evers took a trip to the Amazon to drink ayahuasca prepared by Amazonian shamans. After which he sent a frantic series of emails where he claimed to have "been given the gift" and to know "exactly what needs to be done".

Sometime afterwards, ED communicated with Joseph Evers through a disjointed series of Chirp messages, which culminated in the following ominous message: "im on a boat full of white snow." [1] Nobody has seen or heard from him since then, but there have been reports of sightings in and around the Hispaniola spammer bars.

On November 9, 2009, a big moment in ED history, Joseph Evers made his very first visit to #forum since it's creation! It was approximately one year since his previous visit to ED IRC. Things haven't changed much, as his dear friend Zaiger was a sysop then, and has since restored ED to it's full glory. He mentioned that he is out of rehab and invited all in the bay area to come enjoy drugs, drugs, and more drugs!

Jevers Denial

Some blogger named Daniel Brandt claims that Joseph Evers does not exist. This is not true. One only has to look at the reliability of the claims this person has made in the past, including getting the dox of 3 out of 3 ED admins wrong, 2 of which use their real name. Joseph Evers was asked his thoughts about this in late March of 2012, to which he responded simply with "Haters gonna hate".

Hobbies

While spending time at his home in the Cayman Islands, Mr. Evers enjoys spending his time rock climbing, and hiking as well as spending time with friends and family. Evers also spends time studying religion and linguistics.

External Links

Joseph Evers
is part of a series on
the former regimes

 

Corporate Shill Branch GirlvinylJacknstockKillhamsterPink PoodleSheneequaThedreadedkettleZaigerConrad Alan RockenhausAediotUmkemesikMarioMario456
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Angry Patriot Ghost Branch AlGoreAndrewpantsOldDirtyBtardRubberducyiri
See Also Encyclopedia DramaticaEpic BattleJoseph EversMysteryBotOhInternetSelloutSheneequa Turns FourThe War of Zaiger Aggression

Joseph Evers
is part of a series on
ED Government

 

Executive Command Founder Joseph EversLulz Incarnate Ae-tanCodified Likeness Utility CLU
Theocratic Branch Spiritual Advancement Guru MeepsheepBrother HipcrimeOur Dear Leader GloriousReaderHardchat Royalty Likeicare
Judicial Branch Judge BoudicaDrama Detective GirlOnInternetArbchatInternet court
Intelligence Division Arctic Research Scientist CakuChanfig and Professional Memer CrackRabbit Kentucky Colonel FleacollerindustryCordial Cyborg JacketKaptein-Commandant Conciërge TabsE-Detective and Token Straight Guy Zagan
Communications Network Jamaican Ambassador ASSBLONKERLogistics Expert ScumhookMaysamProfessor A Fucking BoxCommissar MegaManlyMemetic Warfare Director ChimplordReal Celebrity Paul Rudd
Department of Defense "Old Bone" KleetusCatalogue Cleaning Crew CobaltcatGooner Killer NEVER GOON
Founding Documents ED:HelpED:101ED:LULZED:OATH