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Internet money

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This article is about the mythical currency. For IRL money, see Money.

Internet money is a mystical entity. Its users assume the word to be interchangeable with IRL money, even as they claim it to be worth at least 100 times more. Internet money is almost always bandied about in Internet United States Dollars (E$).

Internet money includes things similar the fake merchandise credits at stores that list their retail price 10x what things are worth and oddly charge tax and shipping/handling even though it's supposed to be free, thus making the credit fake. Another type of fake money is PayPal, where anyone sending money can press a button on paypal and instantly get their money back for up to two years. Credit cards, when used over the internet, are also e-money -- a simple charge back is all it takes to reverse a transaction, once again proving how fake internet money really is.

Currency Conversion

Use this handy chart the next time you find yourself in Internet court:

  • Amount lost when one wastes 120 seconds responding to a post on LiveJournal: E$350
  • Cost when 100 people download a 100KB JPG from your webhost: E$500
  • Amount of money to be won in the very weakest of slander lawsuits: E$1,000,000,000
  • Amount of money to be won in a slander case in which a user's sexuality is questioned: E$Graham's number
  • Amount of money it costs to file an actual lawsuit: E$0
  • Conversion factor for E$ to $: 0
  • Mentioning any of this to a budding e-lawyer: priceless

Conclusion

Remember, in Internet court, facts are your enemy. Broad, unprovable statements win at least 100% of the time: Internet time is internet money!


Example of Internet Money from PayPal.

See Also

External Links

[RecessionInflation]
£€ Internet money is a part of a series on Money
Companies

AdFlyAdobeAmazonAppleAT&TBDICBellBitcoinBurger KingCelestial ToystoreComcastCostcoDisneyDuckDuckGoeBayEthereumFox NewsGNWTGoogleHappy Madison ProductionsIBMIKEAMicrosoftMcDonald'sMTVNew Media RockstarsNintendoNovellOracle CorporationPatreonPayPalSonySun MicrosystemsT-MobileVerizonViacomWal-MartWikiaYahooYouTube

People

Bernie MadoffBill GatesChad HurleyGregory KohsHal TurnerJewsJimbo WalesKlaus SchwabL. Ron JeremyLarry SangerLyor CohenMario LaudicinaMartin ShkreliSteve ChenSteve Jobs

Ideology / Politics

AusterityBailout PlanCapitalismCommunismGlobalisationGovernmentGun controlHealth Care RageIceslaveJudaismKarl MarxObamacareRon PaulAyn RandRandroidSocialistRonald ReaganWelfareZeitgeist MovementZeitgeist - The Movie

Selling

AdvertisingBitcoinBriberyExtreme AdvertisingBilly MaysPorn AdvertisementsShamwowSpamSubservient ChickenWinnebago ManGeorge Zimmer

Topics

419 Nigerian Email ScamsThe Dot.Com BubbleEconomistEconomyForeign GirlfriendInternet moneyJew GoldMoneyNFTsPoorProfitRape dollarsScientologyToilet Paper HoardingUnlimited disposable income