The Guardian

Every day is Africa Day in The Guardian! Fucking moralfags.

The Guardian is a Britfag newspaper. Unlike tabloids such as the Daily Mail and the Sun, this one is quite progressive and is mainly read by people who are rather left of center and dogmatically approve of libertarianism liberalism (get it right everybody hates Matt fucking Ridley, eh Monbiot?) for all, as well as many college (aka university) students who don't know anything about the real world and are thus taken by the radically all-encompassing ideas within the newspaper. It's also well known for its online website version of its paper, which features many interesting articles and has a network of blogs which people with differing views regularly engage in flame wars on.

100% of British Wikipedia admins are Guardian readers. Also, you can bet that by now at least one Guardian columnist has seen this very fucking page.

In-Depth Guide

History and Readership

Typical Guardian reader on her gap year in Ecuador before returning to university to do a postgraduate course in anthropology.

The Guardian was founded at least 100 years ago, in Manchester in the north of England, but nobody gives a fuck. It mainly came to our attention for being one of the most interesting online newspapers, for good or for bad (actually, both). According to TOW and our own original research, it has created a new breed of stupid liberal, who believe that the child in Africa is equal to them on every level - morally, spiritually and monetarily. This usually manifests itself in stupid, liberal old fucks who smoke pot, are vegetarian, participate in paganistic rituals and live in the countryside and believe in universal harmony for all, as well as young people who have too many new ideas on their mind and haven't hit that stage in life where reality kicks in. On the rare occasion when these people have enough cash to part with they like to embrace cultural appropriation by drinking a fine wine and eating fine cuisine in a location too 'exotic' for the average Sun or Daily Fail reader to visit, being hypocritical because the 'ethical living' thing Guardian readers embrace is just a conspiracy amirite?

Guardian readers contrast massively with the readers of those other two types of tabloids. Whilst the average Sun reader is thick as pigshit and willing to swallow whatever vile propaganda Rupert Murdoch throws at them unquestioningly, and the typical concerned mother at the Daily Fail clearly does not give a fuck about what happens to anyone except the English and their children, the average Guardian reader doesn't give a fuck about people in her own country who read these other two tabloids and likely looks down condescendingly upon them whilst also experiencing much self-hatred and liberal guilt even for being a privileged, modern Normano-Briton, feeling misanthropic about everyone except those people who have never set foot on the island of Britain and have no ancestors who have ever set foot there either. Unlike normal tabloid readers, Guardian readers would quite likely allow criminal gangs from Pakistan and Nigeria to take over England if they had the choice, but they don't, because people with money think that this is batshit crazy.

Content

And this is the sort of thing that makes no one take them seriously.

Their website's main page and their newspaper's front page general reflects serious business primarily, but is a bit more quirky than the front pages of papers read by those who are taken seriously. The Guardian has pretty much been anti-Iraq war right from the start and mocks Dubya at every opportunity. There's a lot of shit to do with Obama in there as well, and the views on him in The Guardian are as mixed as his parentage. They particularly enjoy talking about multiculturalism, homosexuality and other pieces of shit nobody cares about.

Their blogs and comment is free sections are one of the biggest havens for moralfags to debate things with each other on the entire internets. On South Ossetia and Kosovo-related issues there are many communist sympathizers who believe that Putin is better than Tony Blair because they've never been to Russia and they don't realize that saying one totalitarian state is better than another is like saying that one woman in a porno featuring an MFF threesome has a tighter anus than the other one. Still, it is awesome that The Guardian dislike the large number of bureaucratic laws created by Tony Blair Gordon Brown's government because they don't want to see censorship or their beliefs being made into thought crimes.

The Guardian is also a pioneer of the culture of the internets, rather like Encyclopedia Dramatica. They are known to loev Anonymous, and even stood up for Epic Nose Guy (although the Daily Fail did as well, lawl), whilst also embracing the unfunny aspects of chan culture such as the Obama Rickroll and Bush being made into a lolcat. As a result of this faggotry, they were goatsed by Britchan who The Guardian actually linked directly to, hogging bandwidth from them.

They also go into excessive detail about Wikipedia to a degree that the average Sun reader wouldn't even be able to begin to understand, even worse than Valleywag. Much of it is critical of TOW which we here at ED appreciate, yet since it has many different people writing for it, sometimes Jimbo is allowed to use it as a mouthpiece for his driveling bullshit, which is likely to be able to brainwash Guardian readers being the moralfags that they are. Hell, they even mentioned Willy on Wheels in The Guardian, wonder who's gonna be next?

Guardian Talk

The Guardian, boss of Sonic & Knuckles, Sandopolis Zone Act One!

No mention of the Guardian is complete without GuardianTalk, an online talkboard filled to the brim with hard core trolls and the lulz that accompany them but which is slowly declining despite the fact that the banhammer there is pretty lame and their security is about as robust as the American economy. GO NOW AND TROLL!

Links

• Guardian Talk. Dedicated talkboard which runs on a hint, hint|not-very-secure version of WorldCrossing. Home of endless, epic political trolls by both conservatives and libtards alike about such topics as Freedom™, why you hate America, and of course the ever-popular Israel / Palestine conflict. Feel free to goatse until it bleeds, oh, and give BryanHinnen my love while you're there.
• Their website.
• Guardian talkboards were shitcanned a couple years ago, the gibbering remnants of this once-proud empire now continue their pointless bickering at justthetalk.com, where some promising drama occasionally happens. Infiltration in progress since June 2014, watch this space.