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Dogecoin

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Dogecoin (also known as Dodgycoin) is another shitty Bitcoin knockoff. It was introduced to the Internet on December 6th, 2013, and became favored by Shiba Inus worldwide because apparently, dogs care about human space bux.

Somewhere around mid-2014, Dogecoin found its way into 4chan, particularly its third crappiest board (ranking only behind /v/ and /mlp/, yet again adding another form of cancer into the site, creating a network for dogecoin trades - beg threads bumped by faggots who think they can acquire currency by clicking around on the internet. Now at least one bitcoin/dogecoin or steam-begging-thread can be found active on /b/ at any given time, which comes as no surprise!

In the year 2021, Dogecoin made an unexpected come-back... and went sort-of mainstream among Facebook normies and Twitter users, as well as the Redditors who championed it.


Origins

For those who actually have a job and don't spend all day on the Internet, Dogecoin is named after Know Your Meme's "Best Memes of 2013: Editorial Choices," Doge. The cryptocurrency is programmed by a former IBM engineer who never heard about memes, but when someone suggested Dogecoin, he went with it. While he had an interest in virtual currencies, he distanced himself from Bitcoin due to its association with Silk Road and other controversies, failing to realize Doge was popularized by a bunch of drug addicts.

Dogecoin's true purpose is to get people to spam the Doge meme everywhere so it becomes 2014's Most Hated and Unfunny Meme of the Year. A glimpse at news headlines and postings by currency holders confirms that Dodgycoin off to a good start. Those who can't afford to purchase a coin for $0.0006 but aspire to become a dogillionaire can still pack their Dogewallet with Dogecoins by visiting an online faucetwater bowl.

Is it unfunny yet?

Lemmings

"Make dogillions today!"

Due to the nature of virtual currencies, governments are unable to regulate them, so if someone's Dodgycoins get stolen, they're out of luck. For all intents and purposes, Dogecoins have the same worth as vaporware. However, since it was named after a popular meme, clueless people opened up their wallets, eager to invest.

When Dogecoin was first introduced, many thought it was nothing more than an Internet prank. A couple of weeks after its introduction, the value had decreased by 80% due to exploits in how new coins are generated. Most who purchased Dogecoins never heard of the thousands lost by others when sites that function as "online wallets" for Bitcoins were either hacked or shut down without warning.

With a currency less than a month old and a bunch of clueless usersinvestors, what could possibly go wrong?

doggywallet.com hacked

Dogewallet.com now points to their Reddit page.
These headlines are hilarious and original.
WHERE ARE MY SPACE BUX?

In an epic troll move that made the Grinch himself smile, this question was answered on Christmas Day. Someone managed to find a security hole in Dogewallet, where many stored their precious Dodgycoins. The hacker stole around 30 million space bux, worth about $12,000, earning him the distinguished honor of being the only hacker to steal less than what a part-timer at Burger King makes in a year.

After doggywallet.com was compromised, it was shut down along with its Facebook and Reddit accounts, a reasonable and totally unsuspicious move. Those who purchased coins "for the lulz" were suddenly taking Dodgycoins as serious business, much to Bitcoin's amusement. Doggywallet blamed users for storing large amounts of coins on its site, stating the currency should have been stored offline instead. In layman's terms, the web developers didn't know jack about security.

Still not having a clue, "investors" began posting email addresses, usernames, and other account information for all to see on Dogewallet's new Reddit page. Conspiracy theorists speculated this was an inside job, others panicked and some threatened lawsuits, proving the only joke here is everyone involved. At least now people take fake money...er...Dogecoins, seriously.

   
 
How will you do that? I lost over 160k doge, I emailed you the day before I got hacked, my username was sohaibk and the email that I used to message you was [email protected]. Send my Doges home: D5r7TXcU3JqqtBXAZXKJtNL7LAFUfFYeDm
 

 
 

—sohaibk, THANKS FOR SHARING!

Save Dogemas

After Dogewallet was cracked, those hoping to make serious money from Dogecoins saw the value of their investment drop by 25%. In an effort to restore faith in the cryptocurrency, Save Dogemas was launched with the stated goal of reimbursing those whose Dogecoins were stolen. Naturally, investors are cheap, so they created a website and Reddit page to beg the "community" for donations. Showing just how generous the investors are, they founded a group was that pledged to donate a whopping 1% of coins that are mined. It is safe to say the Grinch has experienced a very merry Christmas.

   
 
I've never seen something like this before in crypto-currency. Usually when something gets hacked the common response is for everyone to call the people who got hacked 'idiots'. To me, this is incredible
 

 
 

—Dogecoin co-founder Billy Markus, who is an idiot

YouTube

Below are some videos, a couple of them show how to mine Dogecoins. Go ahead, get in on the cryptocurrency action, we'll laugh at your ignorant ass when they vanish into cyberspace.

Doesn't cover Dogecoin's epic blunder

How to Mine Dogecoins #1

How to Mine Dogecoins #2

Quotes

   
 
Hello Dogewallet,

I mined 2400 dogecoins and I am collecting them as if they were real money. I would like you to refund these to my new safe offline wallet:

DLpxkpRGhH2G6Mf7juzcoetZV5NiFWn1sf

My username was: dennis1853 And my address was: D9vHp1TbGsAk7kresPBtmQaNYWRDaFxH5n

I'm very sad about this happening and I hope you will refund me in this way. I know you might not care about your small customers but if you do then refund me these Doges!

 

 
 

—dennis1853, sad about $1.36 in Dogecoins... GTFO

   
 
I'll give you chance to resolve this, but be aware that I'm beyond pissed since I lost 667k today; not a happy xmas.
 

 
 

—mondain, $400 in Dogecoins... dumbass

   
 
PLEASE SEND ME MY COINS IVE MESSAGED FOR DAYS OVER 10 MESSAGES
 

 
 

—Viper15973

   
 
I'll give you chance to resolve this, but be aware that I'm beyond pissed since I lost 667k today; not a happy xmas.
 

 
 

—mondain

   
 
I agree, I keep failing to understand why people would keep wallets online. I think there is appeal of "the cloud" for documents, games, lots of files and such. However with how early cryptocurrency is, I wouldn't trust anyone to keep my wallet safe and secure online.
 

 
 

—snackies

   
 
It's a disaster but why were you putting that much into an online wallet?
 

 
 

—ennervated_scientist

Gallery

Deleted Facebook page.


Is it unfunny yet? :D

See also

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