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Faggot in training

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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The fag Chris Chan when he was still training. Yes, that's his own cum in the glass.

Have you ever just been sitting at the bus stop, waiting for the train, or waiting to get a prescription filled and you've had that person come out of nowhere and then proceed to start talking to you, usually, about something they know very little about and they have to keep stopping the conversation so they can check their notes. If you say yes, then you have more than likely come across what we here at Encyclopedia Dramatica like to call a Faggot in Training. There are quite a few different kinds but most can be pigeon holed simply under RELIGION or Scientology because they're usually half educated teens being forced by their parents to collect money. Every 4 years another breed of the Faggot in Training appears but that is better read under the politics page.
To further define the term and to clarify some confusion one does not need be gay to be a faggot in training. To define, a full blown faggot is someone who pulls up by an outdoor coffee house, on a Harley, and sits there and guns their engine even when there is no red light. A Faggot in Training strives to be annonying.


The Religious Faggot in Training

For some of these alterboys, there may be a true Honest to God Faggot in Training in the group


If you pay me, I'll go away.


Hi. Can I tell you how L. Ron Hubbard personally saved me from virginity.

This is the most specialized Faggot in Training group and they will play you in anyway to get you to hand over to them your hard earned money. One of their favorite tactics is to bring along a cute child, who can barely read, and they'll ask if the child, with their big puppy dog eyes can say a prayer for you.
With their childish lisp and purposeful mispronunciation of words they have said over 9000 times, they pull at your heart strings and have you handing over a 10.
Worse than that are the teenage versions of the Faggot in Training. These are used with great skills by the Mormons and Scientologists.
Mormons tend to favor young males because if they go missing, no one cares because that's one less suitor and another girl without a husband and has to marry someone who already has 10 child brides, a win win for them I hear.
Scientology, on the other hand likes to parade its young girls around in spandex shorts, cotton tees and their nipples hard like eraser heads.
While the Mormons pretty much tell you that they'll go away if you pay them, the girl from Scientology will either convince you that she'll give up her phone number for a donation or will only keep talking to you so long as you pay up. It's almost like prostitution but if you fall for it, you're the one getting fucked.

Other Faggots in Training

My daddy, Gene Simmons said if I do this I'll look cool.


6 foot 8, not good at sports, will rip off anyone - including his father, Gene Simmons and you wonder why we made him the poster boy for a Faggot in Training.


Seriously, do you see the pattern. His dad, Gene Simmons supports this.


Last one. I promised his dad, Gene Simmons but Nick's goal is to let the guys know that he can suck their dick and tongue their ass at the same time.


Although these ones might not be as militarized as the religious type, they make up for it by being annoying as all hell.
The worst of them is what I like to call the Nick Simmons. These people don't know anything but they try to sound like they know something by always quoting an authority figure, in the case of Nick - his father Gene Simmons.
For instance, talking with someone like Nick Simmons you'll see a lot of this, "That's harrassment. I just asked my dad, Gene Simmons, and he said if you keep it up I can sue you. Or, "My dad, Gene Simmons, said that copying someone is part of the creative process." Seriously, he always names his dad.

  • The competitive Faggot in Training. This is usually someone who comes out of nowhere and in having a conversation with you they either have to have the worst or best of anything.

If you just got over a cold, they had SARS. If you're proud that you worked your ass off to buy a corvette, they just bought a Ferrari. If you recently just lost a family member, there whole family died on the Titanic and they're only here because of a Shoestring Paradox. Don't expect this type to prove anything because it's always not with|on them or they'll attack you for being an ass and ruining a nice conversation.

  • The e-begger. This is the one I hate the most. Look up Chris Chan and you'll see what I mean. These Faggots in Training have no intention of ever getting a job and they will whine to you on Youtube, Facebook, Twitter and other media how it is your responsability to support them for one reason or another but it's usually because the are a high functioning autistic, Their mother is constantly sick and they need money to buy meds or because they have a retarded child and they should be at home with them 24 hours a day. They all have prepared excuses as to why they can't work and their goal is to make you feel sorry for telling them to, "Get a Job," because if you feel sorry for them, you'll fund them. Their current situation is always someone else's fault and they are unable to take responsability for their own actions.
  • Some people want to include girls and all their girlness but that falls under GOTIS, Bitch, Whore, or Cunt. No matter how hard they try, girls can't be faggots because lesbians are just too damn awesome.
  • Finally it should be noted, that in the literal sense of a man wanting to have sex with a man, there is no training program. You're gay from that first day you ever wanted to put a dick in your mouth or take it in the ass For instance, if you look at the below classic pic of Samantha Fox and say, "She's ok but I'd rather have something with a dick." No matter how inexperienced you are, you're a faggot. Or to aleviate confusion, queer, gay, ass pounder, cock sucker, homo or a butt pirate.


If you look at this and your dick doesn't move even a little you might be, fuck it, you are a faggot.

See also



Faggot in training
is part of a series on

Life

[BRB HugboxGo Live One]

Faggot in training is part of a series on

Homosexual Deviants

Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.