Kevin & Kell: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 19:19, 26 March 2012

Kevin & Kell is your typical unfunny run-of-the-mill furfag webcomic that caused much butthurt and retarded editing wars on Encyclopedia Dramatica in early 2009 and again in 2010. The comic itself started long before last Thursday - all the way back in 1995, almost a decade before ED, and it still manages to retain an embarrassingly small fanbase. The persistent vandalism of this previously minor and forgettable article has proven the truism that as the number of 30 something unemployable furries living in their parents basement increases, the probability of 24/7 nerd rage approaches 1. This comic is so pathetic that its fandom vandalization of ED is a rare instance in which the furries came to the trolls instead of vice-versa.

The Comic

Others simply agree that it has always been shit.

Kevin and Kell began in 1993, a time when the Super Nintendo was still new and Michael Jackson was just forming his creepy image, by Bill Holbrook following his creation of two other successful comics. At first, he tried to get the publishers of his other strips to publish Kevin & Kell, but they knew crap when they saw it, so they rejected it. He tried for two years to find publishers until eventually giving up and self-publishing online. He now claims it went online as an experiment. Kevin & Kell was eventually published in a few magazines in the late '90s, such as Boardwatch Magazine and even Playboy. However, though these publications found the strip interesting at first, they quickly lost interest and dropped it.

Eventually, Bill managed to get one newspaper to publish it, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. They were going to can it as well but he literally begged his fans to whine to them by telling them how to cheat on an online poll, so that it could stay. Unfortunately, it worked. Currently, Bill is trying to get Kevin & Kell adapted into a cartoon series so he can traumatize all the little kids with furry images. In 2001, he pitched the idea to Cartoon Network, who quickly rejected his proposal. He then looked into producing his own cartoons with Flash, but after realizing that this would actually require some effort, he gave up on that. He claims, however, that he is in contact with a certain unnamed television producer who's interested in Kevin & Kell. He's been saying that for five years now. What's the hold-up, Bill?

	“	Years ago, Kevin Kindle the rabbit and Kell Dewclaw the wolf met in an online chat room. After falling head over heels for each other, they decided to meet in person. It wasn't until then that they realized they were from separate ends of the food chain. They eventually married knowing good and well they would be outcasts. Other than their unconventional pairing, these woodland Bradys are not unlike a typical American family.	„
	—Holbrook, trying to convince everyone that his comic is just for regular joes and not perverted animal fetishists.

Bill actually has two successful comic strips, On The Fastrack and Safe Havens. They have been running since the mid-'80s, and are actually published in real newspapers. They don't involve furry characters, and don't get much attention from him despite their far more successful status, because they don't satisfy his need for yiff.

Based on the informed gathered above, it's safe to say he has a secret stash of Kevin & Kell porn that he jerks off to every night, whilst cackling maniacally.

Critical Reception

Most furries dislike Kevin & Kell, albeit for stupid reasons (no graphic sex scenes or fetish fuel). The average furry regards it as a sad wannabe Sunday comic strip that lacks any potential and can only entertain a lobotomized retard. Holbrook has even been denied entry into furry conventions like DragonCon. Do not let the comic's longevity fool you. Not only is Kevin & Kell agonizingly unfunny, it is also the only furry comic to ever exist in which the main characters are heterosexual; therefore, it does not accurately reflect the sexual orientation of furry fandom, unlike other, far more successful comics.

If it wasn't for Kevin & Kell's association with the furry fandom the webcomic would be nothing more than a boring and unnoticed blip on the Internet. However, the fact that it includes furries automatically provides it with an undiscerning audience with no capability of judging shit as shit due to their inability to form legitimate critical opinions. Most of K&K's fans follow a generic routine of praising every facet of Holbrook's uninspired artwork, overused jokes, and deep plotline. Holbrook uses this to his advantage and influences the ranks of lowly unread webcomic reviewers to favorably list his artistic cum rag. For anyone who isn't a furry though, barring other groups of fucktards, it is not as easy to be fooled by this mediocre joke recycling sham like the gullible furries and most recognize it as the shitty drab it actually is.

	“	Holbrook has fallen in love with his characters, and can no longer bear to make them suffer. The inevitable result: Holbrook no longer works to make us like the characters; he just basks in the assumption that everybody already does.	„
	—It is not only EDiots who find this comic crap.

	“	Dude that has to be the most unfunny comic strip ever. And I've read Garfield.	„
	—KillHamster

	“	In a good tradition of newspaper comic, it repeats the same few jokes all over again for years. Characters are too-much black/white, so much that it's annoying.	„
	—Fan criticism.

	“	I was totally indifferent (re: ignorant) to furries until I read two Kevin and Kell strips and watched that AIDS-ridden musical video. Now I want the whole lot of you to be sterilized.	„
	—Roberto

	“	If I remember correctly Kevin and Kell wasn't even made by a furry, and of course doesn't even fit in amongst "furrydom" since none of the characters are having their asses inflated with "yiffy" or "murrypurry" bike pumps or go on about the "knot", so you'd have to wonder why furries would try to associate with the comic other than a desperate attempt to try to take credit for it. Also I should probably add that it's ironic that the "kevin and kell defense squad" is horribly homophobic and "he" or "they" throw around the word fag like it's a fad, understandably it'd be a sign of butthurt but considering that only ~22% of furries are straight (in the last survey) they should know enough not to resort to fag namecalling.	„
	—FrizzleFry43

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The Creator

Like all furry webcomic artists, Kevin & Kell creator Bill Holbrook relies entirely on monetary handouts from his lobotomized fanbase. Unlike most furry webcomic artists Holbrook has two other successful non-furry comics, this is because he keeps up the appearance of not living a desperately lonely life only concerned with making money to buy faux fur to add to his blow-up doll collection, which makes the fact that his fanbase is still willing to pay for these shit-stains even worse. Bill routinely uses his own family members in his comic including his two daughters Chandler and Haviland (whom have the worst names ever conceived.) Unlike most of his readers he attended college at Auburn, Alabama which means his degree is worth less than the paper it's printed on. Bill enjoys spending his donations on personal gifts, writing his own wikipedia article, and trying to convince people his worthless comic has a future of relevance of which he fails at.

	“	Unfortunately, I'll have to say that I prefer to discourage fan fiction. Even with the most innocent of intentions, artists in the past have gotten burned by the dilution of copyright. Sorry; I hope you understand, and that you'll continue to enjoy "K&K."	„
	—Bill, inadvertently admitting that he can't make a profit off of this dogshit while insulting his brain-dead fans

Staff

Terrance and Isabel Marks - Colorists - Bill's source of coloring, they are employed to distract people from realizing the full magnitude of his artistic short comings, no matter how numerous they number.

Doug Pratt - Business Partner - Holbrook's "e-mail" handler, he deals with filing Kevin & Kell's subscriptions so Bill can go to more furry conventions. He also owns a web hosting company named after the fictional ISP that employs Bill's mary sue that receives advertising through Kevin & Kell.

Chris Kohler - Webmaster - Kevin & Kell's IT bitch, he is responsible for updating the comic with every new mind numbing collection of old jokes and tired plot points the series is renowned for. He also manages the archive of masturbation material kept for furries who haven't had the chance to yiff themselves to the older strips yet.

All the info you will need to contact him for the next Furry Convention.
And if his IP address isn't enough...
No need to worry about lolsuits. Holbrook enjoys the free advertising.

Jesus Fucking Christ WATCH THIS SHIT

The "Kevin & Kell" Song

Kevin & Kell on TV

It seems Bill Holbrook was able to find a television producer stupid enough to actually bring his bland yet creepy at the same time comic to Television (they really are running out of ideas aren't they?): http://write2wow.web.officelive.com/NEWSLETTER.aspx Hopefully it gets shitcanned before it ever gets to air.

THE KEVIN & KELL DEFENSE SQUAD

THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ
THEY GOT TIRED OF PLAYING SOLO

File:KevinKellVandal.PNG

Gee, it sure is butthurt around here...

File:Kakdg.png

The Kevin & Kell Defense Squad.

In late March 2009, an unusually persistent group of vandals repeatedly attempted to blank the furry article. The Kevin & Kell Defense Squad (a title that they themselves invented) are a couple of whiny faggots who have been defacing the furry article (among others) with shit. Evidently, the most hardcore furry buttsecks did not leave them as butthurt as the pages here on ED.

It's suspected that the most persistent vandal of all is actually Bill Holbrook himself:

The username and e-mail address share similarities: specifically, all of them end with at least a single "1".
Most of the sockpuppets refer to some sort of giant rabbit; the main character in his comic is a giant rabbit.

Bill's characters are also based on his own family.

One of his colleagues (webmaster Chris Kohler) has experience in creating new proxies and IP addresses.
Nobody else gives a mouse-sized shit about this online cunt smear.

Because the ED sysops know shit when they see it, previous articles about Kevin & Kell were swiftly flushed down the shitter, wrongly leading Holbrook to believe that he had won (despite the fact that their original objective was to have the furry article removed).

The Copypasta

	“	Kevin and Kell is the greatest web comic of all time. It was started on September 3, 1995, and is among the oldest web comics still in existence to this day. "Kevin and Kell is a humorous, light-hearted comic based around Kevin and Kell Dewclaw, a married couple consisting of a rabbit and wolf, respectively, who have a son, Rudy, and two daughters, Lindesfarne and Coney. Kevin runs an ISP out of his house, and most storylines revolve around slice-of-life situations that often play off of the fact that all of the characters are animals. Kevin and Kell was voted Best Anthropomorphic Comic Strip in the 2003 Ursa Major Awards." That doesn't really do this strip justice, as it is ingenious beyond anything seen in things like Garfield and Peanuts, and it's creativity is beyond what most would see in an online strip like this.	„
	—The copypasta they vandalize with.

	“	Kevin and Kell: 1 You fags: 0 Better lock this page again! Lol...you retards cannot stop Kevin and Kell. You think you can stop us? With Bill Holbrook on our side? No way! We will not be silenced. We will not be driven away. Soon all of this site will read: KEVIN AND KELL DEFENSE SQUAD. Of course, unless, you remove the hate and lies surrouding what you call "furrydom." Is it not odd that you only go after the "easy targets" within our group? Is it not odd that you only attack the "crappy" literary and artistic works of us furries? No, it's not odd, because YOU ARE COWARDS. So you people really think you can stop us? Kevin and Kell IS taking over, whether you like it or not.	„
	—Serious Business

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[-+]Known Sockpuppets

Please feel free to show your appreciation if you have not done so already

User:Bananajustwannago
User:Begeloltarian101
User:Bigbunny1012
User:Brokentoesher
User:BunnyIsHereNow
User:CAcademyC
User:Dontcountonit
User:Faggotnotonice
User:Fruitcakesfruitcakes
User:Fruitytoocupsfag101
User:Gayshitmaskfag
User:Gayshowerboyfuck121
User:Ggggtangggzzz
User:Hairyfudgebalfun
User:HolbrookisBack
User:MacReadyFlame
User:MagicSwordOns
User:Mernaderk
User:Neversaynevertous
User:NoSlanderHere
User:SayNotoCancerz
User:StopThisNow
User:TacoBurgerFishPolt
User:Terribleburn
User:Terrorizinguno
User:Thatbook11
User:TheBunnyisHere
User:TheHolbrookKing
User:Thereisnotbelt
User:TheyAreSlanderingYou
User:Toiletpaperbeard
User:Toocalibers
User:Touchefagtrollsgold
User:Uwbakitaki
User:Ufagsnvrlern1
User:WarnerWilson1012
User:Weareoutsiderz
User:Wewillprevail
User:Zerotoanon121

UPDATE

Over a year after this article was written (April 2010), the KEVIN AND KELL DEFENSE SQUAD crawled back to their keyboards and resumed their vandalism spree. Strangely, they no longer wish to defend furries; they just want the picture with the giant dick removed. EDiots are still debating whether they are refering to this image or the picture of Holbrook himself.

For even MOAR bitching and whining, see the talk page.

File:KevinAndKellTalk.PNG

Gallery of "Revenge"

This article needs moar rule 34 and hateart.
You can help by adding moar rule 34 and hateart.

Fap About missing Pics

SCARY
SHIT
It looks like Billy actually put some effort into this.
Fix'd

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Very impressive.

Very impressive.
Bill rallies the troops for a DDoS attack.
Holbrook pathetically begging his small fan-basis to help keep his strip in the one newspaper stupid enough to publish it. Unfortunately, it worked.
Typical artwork

Typical artwork
Write your own Kevin & Kell strip!

Write your own Kevin & Kell strip!
You can bet Bill is inside that foam bunny head.

You can bet Bill is inside that foam bunny head.
Tartlets can draw better hate art.
Not to be confused with these two niggers
Kevin & Kell Rule 34.
Holbrook tries to appeal to Star Trek fans.
Holbrook among fellow furfags.
D. C. Simpson is a Kevin & Kell fan.
Bill is a Sonic fag.
Holbrook uses his comic to express his support for child abuse.

Bill Holbrook drew this himself. Really.

Bill Holbrook drew this himself. Really.
He also uses his comic to express his support for incest.
Kevin & Kell hate art.
At last - gay furry buttsex.

External Links

The Kevin and Kell "comic"

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-div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; left:0">[[Image:Kevin Kell Threat.PNG]]</div>
 [[File:BillHolbrookBanner.jpg|center]]
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Featured article April 20, 2010
Preceded by Fuckin Magnets	Kevin & Kell	Succeeded by Fergie Oliver

Kevin & Kell: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 19:19, 26 March 2012

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