Chick tracts

Not to be confused with the other kind of Chick Tract.

Hey Jack, whose ass did you cum in last night? OIC.

A typical Chick tract. No, srsly.

Jack Chick converts to Islam.

Cthulhu comes to roost! WILL YOU BE EATEN FIRST?

Cthulhu comes to roost! WHAT MUST I DO TO BE EATEN FIRST?

Silly Jack. Girls don't play D&D

Jack Chick is what happens when a comic book artist becomes a Christian fundamentalist. A typical Chick tract will usually feature a person who has yet to be "saved" or will be tricked by another character, who is usually the Devil in disguise. The character will eventually return to Jesus, after realizing the error of their ways. Everyone who isn't a Jesus freak goes directly to Hell, or is actively working for the Devil, or just goes to hell for very poorly justified reasons. They're often full of hilarious misinformation about just about fucking everything. Jack Chick tracts are a popular target for Photoshoppers, in part because they are so batshit insane. The inherent problem with shooping a Chick Tract is that the original untouched comics are usually the pinnacle of lulz and therefore cannot be improved upon.

Things Chick Hates

• Muslims! [1] (Duhhhhhh)
• Roman Catholics! [2][3][4][5][6]
• Evolution! [7]
• Dungeons & Dragons! [8]
• Freemasons! [9] (Masons are deists, hurr durr. Oh, and God hates penises!)
• Communists! [10]
• Wigwams! [11] (This is despite the fact that most prairie niggers nowadays are Baptist)
• Homos! [12] (Pedo rape is more acceptable than two consenting adults holding hands. Buttsex is also just as bad as murder! Apparently, Chick don't know 'bout condoms)
• Hindus! [13]
• Halloween! [14] (lrn2All Saint's Day)
• Buddhists! [15] (Because megachurches don't make money, amirite?)
• Jews! [16]
• Emos! [17]
• Santa Claus! [18]
• Truckers! [19]
• Mormons! [20]
• Christian Rock! [21]
• 16 year old girls! [22]
• Jehovah's Witnesses! [23] (This is the only one where he makes some valid points, mostly about the blood thing)
• U.S. troops! [24] (lolwut? Isn't America supposed to be a Christian nation?)
• Atheists! [25] (Duhhhhhh)
• Family Guy [26]
• Space Moose! [27]
• You

Oddly, Jack has no qualms about portraying Jew as black person. [28]

Apparently, Chick's site is b& in Singapore. LOL WUT?

Important Facts

• Jack Chick does not do it for the lulz
• Jack Chick hates Mudkips.
• Jack Chick is the original internet meme.
• Jack Chick is Pedobear, which also makes him a furry.
• Jack Chick causes global warming, but doesn't believe in it.
• Jack Chick is impervious to insults.
• There is Jack Chick Rule 34...but it sucks balls. In the bad way.
• Jack Chick made a movie.
• Jack Chick draws 'The Christian Hero' of his tracts in a style inspired by Tom of Finland.
• Jack Chick believes God and Jesus are the same person, therefore worships the robot GodJesus.

Chick Dissections

As mentioned above, there isn't much you can do to improve the lulz-quotient of a Chick Tract because they're perfectly insane. Still some people are willing to make page-by-fucking-page readings of them, making fun of them. Usually these are made by godless atheist heathens who TL;DR everything. Still, if you have some time on your hands, it's lets you see the tracts without letting your browser think you actually went to Chick's fucked up site.

• The Jabberwock dissections- The most TL;DR of them, but has probably the most done.
• The Jr. dissections- Less done than Jabberwock but still a bunch.
• The JK dissections- Newer, with less done.

Want to make one? Make an uninspired blogspot account and be sure to mention every 10 seconds that you're an atheist. Profit will follow.

Dox

You can send him some love at:

Chick Publications

8780 Archibald Avenue

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

(909) 987-0771

Gallery

• 
  In order for the savages to be cleansed of shit, they must accept God's Love Gift. The Gift is rape.
• 
  The picture showing the bannage of Chick.
• 
  The Muslims: what really happened.
• 
  "That's right bitch, as long as you don't worship Jesus, you might as well blow up the Pentagon."
• 
  Bob is a pretty cool guy!
• 
  Come into our hearts.
• 
  أشهد أن لا إله إلاَّ الله و أشهد أن محمد رسول الله

See Also

• Christian
• Sandwich Chef

External Links

• Chick.com Warning: May make you love hate Jesus.
• Chick parody comics
• The Jabberwock dissections
• Chick Tract Slash Fanfic Possibly the first.

[Boring. Move on.Read me!] Chick tracts is part of a series on Webcomics

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