Geoshities: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 04:30, 28 April 2012

Yahoo! GeoShities was a free webhosting service founded by David Bohnett and John Rezner at least 100 internets ago as Beverly Hills Internet. It had nothing to do with Beverly Hills, and everything to do with 16 year old girls, soccer moms, Your Uncle Steve and everyone who wanted a free webpage with no bandwidth or storage.

It turned into an overly bloated crapfest within a few years. Anybody, and I mean anybody could have their very own webpage yippiee yay lol which made the place slow as fuck, since everybody was crammed onto like 3 servers in somebody's basement. Some argue that it's amazing that Geoshitties lived as long as it did as it clearly was not Web 2.0 and as such was old.

Despite all this, the company managed to go public and get stocks and everything, which made Yahoo! crap its pants cause that was their job. So they bought out Geocities, and made it even worse somehow. The price? $3.57 billion. Yes, that's Carl Sagan billion with a B.

Best viewed in Internet Explorer, with spinning skulls and shit!

Popular Uses

The service was the perfect place to put your fanfic and slash and stupid shit nobody cares about... until Portal of Evil linked to it, and then it craps out every hour on the hour until Yahoo! got off their ass and gave you more bandwidth. Of course, you could always buy bandwidth for your free service, which just made you fucking stupid.

Neighborhoods

The sites were devided into "neighborhoods" with fun names to ease in finding content and people with similar interests. This aspect was retired pretty quickly, but old sites were left alone because what ice eater's websites wants to lose their precious, precious Pagerank?

Area51 and Vault
Athens and Acropolis
Augusta
Baja
BourbonStreet
Broadway
CapeCanaveral and Lab
CapitolHill
CollegePark and Quad
Colosseum, Field and Loge
EnchantedForest
Eureka
Fashion Avenue
Heartland and Plains
Hollywood and Hills
HotSprings
MadisonAvenue
MotorCity
NapaValley
Nashville
LeftBank
Pentagon
Petsburgh
Picket Fence
Pipeline
RainForest
RodeoDrive
Research Triangle
SiliconValley, Heights, Park, and Pines
SoHo and Lofts
SouthBeach and Marina
SunsetStrip, Vine, Alley, Palms, Studio and Towers
TheTropics and Shores
TelevisionCity
TimesSquare and Arcade
Tokyo
Vienna
WallStreet
Wellesley
WestHollywood
Yosemite

None of these neighborhoods lived up to their names or actual purposes.

The Comprehensive List of Proper Uses

The End

Yahoo announced on April 23, 2009 that they would finally be dealing with their three and a half billion dollar mistake. On October 26, 2009 management removed every site on Geoshities. The service has been taken off-line for good. The only people taking exception to this are niggers. Why? We don't rightly know.

And nothing of value was lost. GOODNIGHT, SWEET PRINCE.

The Geocities spirit of shitty pages covered in animated GIFs, embedded music and eye-searing color schemes lives on at thousands of profile pages on MySpace and Freewebs.

Also, it still lives on Japan, who's suprised?