Call of Duty: Black Ops 2

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New title, same old shit.

Call of Duty: Black Ops 2, (aka Carl on Duty: Black Cops 2) is the latest game from the fags that brought you Call of Duty: World at War and Black Cocks.

Campaign

Assist patriots in their liberation of foreign soil and horse cocks.

Alex Mason and his buddies got fucked over in South Africa during the 1980s and somehow unwittingly assisted a future Illuminati leader's plans for screwing the US in the ass. The majority of the game consists of everything getting blown to fuck, people getting torn up with machine guns and the unveiling of robotic military personnel.

Confirmed Characters

• Alex Mason: The same brainwashed and crazy Aussie from Black Cocks returns for the first half of the game.
• David Mason: The loser son of a loser dad.
• Frank Woods: HOLY SHIT FRANK WOODS SURVIVED HIS JIHAD AGAINST KRAVTCHENKO BUT WAS ROYALLY FUCKED IN THE LEGS SO HE'S NOW FORCED TO HELP WITH SPIC CONTROL!
• Jason Hudson: Some fat guy who has shades for eyeballs, gets fucked over with mason and woods
• Raul Mendez: A beaner Illuminati leader who plays the role of antagonist.
• Harper: The Dumb/funny badass for this game.
• The US President: A wimminz, thus meaning that this game is purely fantasy, for there will never be any wimmin president.
• Viktor Reznov: A ruskie who was featured in World at war and in Black ops as Mason's Fuck Buddy
• Tian-Zhao: A chink that nobody really cares about. Like IRL Azns.
• Jonas Savimbi: A nigger that you will help when sent to Angola in the flashback, to kill commie niggers and Cubans.

Multiplayer

Geyarch, looking to rearrange the Create-a-class system completely now allows players to create classes based on how much shit they put on. So you can have 3 perks minimum and you get 3 perks for each weapon you take off, so you can have all perks in the game and have only a knife to be a 1 man army. Sound familiar?

Also, the entire game can be read here (SPOILERS BE AHEAD) [1]

Confirmed Perks and Killstreaks

• Ghost - Campers. Enough said.
• Fast Hands - Throw grenades and swap weapons faster. Who exactly would benefit from this perk again?
• Dexterity - Climb obstacles faster. In other words, useless.
• Lightweight - Run faster like the pussy you are.
• Flak Jacket - Protection from RPGs and 'nade spam.
• Tactical Mask - A perk that prevents you from being fucked over by fart gas.
• Coldblooded - Second perk Campers will largely benefit from.
• Hardline-Earn killstreaks with one less kill, only used to turn maps into a shitstorm with rc-xds.
• Hardwire-Copypaste of assasin pro from mw3
• Toughness-Flinch less when shot will,pointless due to teh quickscopes that kill you in 1 shot
• Awareness-Hear playes from far away,usless as everyone will not move
• Dead Silence-Same as in other games
• Eingeneer Re-roll care packages and booby trap care packages
• Extreme Conditioning Run longer,pointless as everyone camps

• UAV: Oh you'll never guess what this does after seeing it in every game since CoD4.
• Care package: As with the UAV, it's the same shit from MW2 onward.
• RC-XD: The nuke on wheels from Fag Ops that caused much rage and lulz is back.
• Hunter Killer Drone:Copypaste of predator missle from mw2
• CUAV:Fuck up the radar
• Gaurdian:Gay Dubstep machine the kills you if you stand in front of it too long
• Lightning STrike: Copy paste of mortar team
• War Machine: Automatic Grenade Launcher Fire many grenades into one place for guaranteed lulz.
• Steal Chopper:/invisible Helicopter.will get shot down in .666 seconds
• Microwave Turret: A fictional turret.
• WartHog:Strafe Run
• Death Machine: A motherfucking Minigun. That is all.
• Hellstorm Missile: A rocket launcher sent down to earth by god himself for 1 purpose only. To clear the entire map of Call of Duty players.
• QR Drone: Copy of the Gunship pilot from Black Ops 1, except you now control a UAV and shoot enemies.
• AGR Tank: A small Assault Drone from MW3.
• Sentry Gun: Gee Treyarch, you really caught people off guard with originality. YOU CANT KNIFE THEM ANYMORE HOLY SHIT.
• Orbital VSAT: The Niggerbird is back!
• Single Seeker Drone: The Hand of God smites thee with unerring accuracy. Will cause butthurt.
• EMP: Redundant, since there's an EMP grenade.
• Helicopter Gunner: Same shit from MW2.
• Lodestar: Shoots at least 100 lodes of cum onto the map.
• Attack Dogs: Exactly what is says on the tin.
• Drone Swarm: Futuristic wave of microbots that swarm the map and buttrape all enemies.

Weapons

All anyone usually cares about. Includes all concurrent weapons and revealed weapons from the spoiler.

Primary

Assault Rifle

• AK-47: As every game from CoD4 onwards needs it's terrorist/nationalist weapon of choice, this faggy piece of shit returns to blow loads in the player's face.
• AN-94: Reskin of the AK-47, pointless. Treyarch dosen't even model the 2 round burst that makes this gun good, either.
• M16: Such an uncommon weapon, Treyarch. I guess we will still be using this jamtastic gun in 2025.
• Commando: Copypasta from the original Fag Ops.
• Galil: Treyarch includes a weapon that no military in the world uses. (except jews and niggers)
• FN FAL: Moar like Fail, amirite?
• Type 95: The FAGmas gets replaced by the same chink commie bullpup rifle from MW3. It will probably be even more overpowered than it was in that game.
• Type 25: Treyarch pandering to the AZN fanbase by including more gook fire-power.
• M4A1: The signature weapon of the US army.
• M8A1: Nazi-trash, CoD protocol dictates at least one per title.
• SCAR-H: Why Treyarch, why?
• SIG556: 3 round burst piece of shit.
• SMR: When teh Aug and M14 have sex.
• SA-58: It's the exact same thing as the FAL. No seriously it has the same skin and everything.
• Tar-21: The Tiny Arab national Rapist of the 21st century, back from MW2. Probably will not get used as people will probably use the T-95/T-25/RPG.

Submachine Gun

• MP7: Looks like the AK74u of MW3 is back to cause more butthurt.
• Vector K10: Copypasta from MW2.
• Uzi: Useless SMG is useless.
• Chicom: Bullpups are becoming more common, now there's a bullpup SMG. Its a Chink commie gun too, hence the designation Chicom.
• PDW57: Fictional.
• MSMC: Reskinned mp9 from mw3
• Scorpion Evo III: Fictional.

Light Machine Gun

• Mk46: Shitstick that everyone will use because in MW3 it was rape incarnate.
• LSAT: Britfag LMG.
• QBB LSW: Another Britfag piece of shit.

Sniper Rifle

• Storm PSR: Totally not a Barrett .50cal.
• Ballista: Bolt-action rifle because nothing screams realistic combat like [[Shit nobody cares about|running towards your victim, spinning around 360 degrees or what ever and shooting them in the face with a Sniper meant for long range combat]].
• DSR 10: A second bolt-action for more quickscope kills, posesses an awkward triangle scope that magically turns into a cylinder upon aiming.
• SVU-AS: Retarded WA-2000/Dragunov replacement.

Shotgun

• KSG: The Ruskie weapon that players became butthurt over in Black Ops due to it not being included in multiplayer.
• M1216: Select fire shotgun.
• R-870 MCS: The token pump action operated shotgun for Rule of Cool.
• Saiga-12: Copy of the USAS-12 from MW3.

Secondary

Handguns

• M1911: The series' signature handgun.
• KAP-40: Futuristic looking pistol.
• Five-Seven: M9 Beretta replacement.
• The Executioner: A revolver, the token magnum handgun for a CoD game.
• Beretta 23R: 3 round burst piece of shit. Can pwn people from miles away.
• Tac-45: The high capacity low damage pistol. Replaces the Universally Shitty Pistol .45 from MW3.

Launcher

• RPG: Included in the game for the same reason as the AK-47. As utilised by Niggers in the 1980s.
• MM-1: Huge fucking drum fed grenade launcher. Might be fun to spam.
• FHJ-18 AA: A rocket with erectile disfunction.
• SMAW: Free fire or lock on fuckstick nobody really uses.

Grenades

Lethal

• Frag: Rendered obsolete by Semtex.
• Semtex: An adhesive grenade that you'll hear detonating almost as much as Claymores.
• Claymore: Renders Bouncing Betties obsolete.
• Tomahawk: An axe that sounds badass when you throw it. You will always miss and get raped.
• Bouncing Betty: Or 'Buttsecks Bitch', launches into the air and explodes, raping everyone.
• C4: Dear god this is getting so repetitive ED has ran out of ideas of what to say.

Tactical

• Flashbangs: Ghey, doesn't do shit.
• Shock Charge: EMP renamed.
• Smoke grenade: Causes butthurt on Hardcore due to the slight damage on detonation.
• Concussion grenade: Does more shit than the Flashbangs.
• Tactical Insertion: Boosting. That is all.
• Tazer spike: Some faggy thing the US police forces use to immobilize targets.

Other shit

• Combat Knife: Because players can survive 10 bullets in the face but die by a knife to the feet. Super realistic, right? Actually the knife dosen't always 1 hit anymore.
• Assault shield: Riot shield. It's not even a weapon. Can be placed down in front of you to give you some movable cover though.
• Ballistic Knife: Used by the Soviets in the first cold war. Why is this back?
• Crossbow with Exploding tip: Samefaggotry from Black Ops 1.

Zombies

The previous limit of four players has now been increased to eight. The engine used for zombies has been changed from singleplayer to multiplayer, so you can have multiplayer games with zombies thrown into the mix.

Wonder Weapons

All that has been confirmed is there's a lightning gun called Tesla Gun. But since the Tesla Gun was the file name for the Wunderwaffle DG-2, it could just be that.

AnonOps?

Say "Hi" to the 'bad guy'...

	“	#Anonymous featured in new COD Black Ops 2 trailer - http://bit.ly/JRr521 Hijack ALL the drones! (srsly...we're kidding DHS),	„
	— YourAnonNews

	“	TRAILER: COD Black Ops 2 featuring #Anonymous - http://bit.ly/JRr521 Hack ALL the things!! But seriously, nice attempt to stay relevant.	„
	— YourAnonNews

Previous Quote | Next Quote

See also

• Call of Duty: Black Ops, Where the story and skins were ripped from.
• Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, Where the rest of the shit is ripped from.
• Shit, which the game is.
• Faggot, a requirement for being on the Treyarch development team.
• Autism, another requirement for being a developer or a member of the fanbase.

External Links

• Why is Anonymous in the Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 Materials? - Forbes

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