Trepanation

Obamacare means we're going to be seeing a lot more of this sort of thing.

Not to be confused with "trepidation"; trepanation (aka "Skullfucking"), is a brutal and barbaric form of surgery in which a hole is drilled or scraped into the skull. Ironically this is a pursuit that should be considered with much trepidation. Thought of by some as the cure for depression, one of the techniques most vocal supporters is Bart Hughes who is sometimes referred to as "Dr. Bart Hughes" though he did not complete his medical degree.

	“	No. They had cut and pierced themselves and others, and had experience with implants and things along those lines.	„
	—Volunteer when asked if his friend who performed this procedure had any medical background

Joey Mellen's Self-Trepanation

A rare image of /b/tards trepanning Cracky

In his book "Eccentric Lives & Peculiar Notions", John Michell describes a British group that advocates self-trepanation, to allow the brain access to more space and oxygen. The chapter is imaginatively called "The People With Holes in their Heads". Michell quotes a book called "Bore Hole" by Joey Mellen. Joey and his partner had made two previous attempts at trepanning Joey. The second attempt ended up placing Joey in the hospital, where he was scolded severely and sent for psychiatric evaluation. After he returned home, Joey decided to try again.

	“	After some time there was an ominous sounding schlurp and the sound of bubbling. I drew the trepan out and the gurgling continued. It sounded like air bubbles running under the skull as they were pressed out. I looked at the trepan and there was a bit of bone in it. At last!	„
	—Joey describes his third attempt at self-trepanation

Diary of an Anonymous Trepanner

	“	Then we turned on the drill to speed 4!	„
	—Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

The Hardware Store has all you need!

In 2000 an Anonymous Volunteer posted a series of TL;DR journal entries about his self-trepanation experience to www.modifiedmind.com which can be read here.

Seems leik a good idea?

Naturally it began with a huge number of unrealistic expectations such as "the key to a permanent consciousness increase was a hole in the skull, to restore the full brain pulsation of infancy. The key to more consciousness is sitting in the next room over. How can I know this and not unlock the door?"



After reporting that he felt different for a number of days, which was probably due to a combination of the drugs he had taken to numb the pain and the shock of having a fucking hole drilled into his skull, he decided that the uncomfortable and dangerous operation was full of fail and he now very probably had Aids.

	“	I have come to the frustrating conclusion that the trepanation has had no lasting effect. I mean, the effects were subtle the whole time anyway and they appear to have worn off.	„
	—Volunteer realizes he has been trolled

Bad headaches

Trepanation is a cure for migraines. It works. Also cures demon posession.

People who should get Trepanned

The toolz have evolved over time

• TheRedSkull
• Argent009
• OldDirtyBtard
• Matt Crimmins
• Swirl Face
• Knuckles Dawson
• Furries, but they aren't people anyway
• You

Links

• International Trepanation Advocacy Group - Sign up today 15 volunteers since 2000!
• TL;DR Journal of Anonymous Volunteer
• News Story about Trepanners
• World Health Organization's Advice on Trepanation

• Trailer for "Hole in The Head" Documentary

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Trepanation is part of a series on Body and Health

Trepanation is part of a series on SCIENCE! [FizzlePop]

Great Minds Alan Turing • Albert Einstein • Aristotle • Bill Nye • Charles Darwin • L. Ron Hubbard • Nikola Tesla • Richard Dawkins • Sir Isaac Newton • Socrates • Stephen Hawking Theories Balloon Boy • Theoretical physics • God • Existence • Evolution • Global Warming • Look Around You • Memes • Computer Science III • Large Hadron Collider • Apophis • How is babby formed? • The Comprehensive Theory of Lulz • Schrödinger's cat • Schrödinger's Cunt • Zero Division Proven by Science Alternative Medicine • Chemistry • Cubic Time • Earth • George Bush doesn't care about black people • Giant Thumbs • God hates fags • Gravity • HAARP • Intelligent Design • JEWS DID WTC • Motor Oil • No girls on the internet • Ouija Board • Duct Tape • Pluto • Raelism • The Moon • Scientology • Tree Hugging • Trepanation • Uranus Science in Action! 2024 Eclipse • Archaeology • Butyric Acid • Creationism • Diabeetus • Drugs • Electricity • Fire • Heart • Lawnmower • Lead • Lens flare • Magnetostatics • Marijuana Addiction • NASA • Nanotechnology • Nuclear War • Pain (Physical) • Sex • Tay • Thiopental Sodium • Uranium • WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE?