Finger Box
Finger Box is a wonderfully crafted "Box of Pleasure" that is usually made from wood or sometimes Aluminum 4chan /b/. In the opening post of a Finger Box thread, a seasoned internets expert phrases a seemingly genuine query regarding said finger box, in a manner that suggests that everyone will know what the OP is referring to. The fiendishly clever trap is now set for some hapless victim to come along and spring it by inquiring what a finger box actually is - thus outing themselves as a newfag. Much hilarity is then shared by everyone who is in on the 'joke'. What we learn from an anthropological standpoint from this embarrassingly unfunny and oft-repeated forced-meme, is that:
OF COURSE THIS IS ALL ONE BIG JOKE. DON'T TAKE THIS SHIT SERIOUSLY.
- The denizens of /b/ are easily amused by their own antics.
- They are also apparently unaware that everyone on /b/ is a fucking newfag
- Rising unemployment is having an unforeseen effect on the internets.
Anonymous seeks the ED seal of approval
—ED | ||
Sample Post
What is a finger box?
A finger box, though ostensibly a relatively simple device, is in fact a staggeringly complex machine comprised of several thousand finely crafted components. These are most often distributed in sets of nine, but the poor, the disenfranchised and the mentally handicapped have all been observed amusing themselves for hours at a time with just a single unit. Finger boxing (also referred to colloquially as 'fingering' and/or 'boxing') is a rapidly growing trend among teens aged 13-18. The first instance of the device, though in a cruder and less intricate form, was invented by Sir Eustace Henry Trollington more than 130 years ago in Dunbartonshire, Scotland.
A Finger box basically creates a variety of sensations by stimulating the nerves of the finger tip, though the fun was short-lived when a group vicious saboteurs started contaminating the devices with old razor-blades, broken glass and ebolavirus. Panic ensued as a result of the dismemberments, lock-jaw and in some cases, slow and inexorable deaths. This led to the inevitable banning of the devices by the UK parliament in 1919, with the rest of the developed world quickly following suit.
Although still illegal, the finger box black-market saw a boom in sales during the 1980’s and was redeveloped into its current electrical module in the mid 1990’s buy an unnamed Chinese worker. The device works on the same principles as electrical prosthetic limbs, an electrical impulse is shot up the nervous system that will make the hand think that it is feeling something; anything can be simulated such as stroking a cat or shaking a hand.
The finger box costs around $50 per box and demand outstrips supply by ten to one, with some waiting times rumoured to be up to four years. Reportedly, some fingerboxes have been sold for over $5000.
Trolling with Finger boxes
- Go to google and find a picture of a finger box.
- Start a finger box thread.
- Samefag and act like other anons that love finger boxes
- Never say what it does but say it's fucking great.
- Talk about how it's so much better than your last finger box
- Basically be fucking annoying as this list.
- ???????
- Profit
Tutorial Video
You'll be fingerbanging in no time.
See Also
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Finger Box is part of a series on Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage. |
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Finger Box is part of a series on Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage. |