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Bernie Goetz: Difference between revisions
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[[File:Goetz.jpg|thumb|220px|The Jew, The Myth, The Legend.]] | [[File:Goetz.jpg|thumb|220px|The Jew, The Myth, The Legend.]] | ||
[[File:VegetarianBernie.jpg|thumb|220px|30 years later.]] | |||
'''Bernhard Hugo Goetz'''{{Jew}} (a.k.a. '''The Death Wish Gunman''') is an [[American]] hero, [[Tree hugger|environmentalist]] and professional [[Jew]] who is most well known for his tireless efforts to clean up [[New York]]'s filthy, [[vermin]]-infested subway system in the mid-1980s. In the decades following his [[Mass shooting|humanitarian work]] and [[Second Amendment]] activism, Goetz has taken up numerous hobbies such as selling [[weed]] and harbouring [[Squirrelking|squirrels]] in his apartment, much to the chagrin of his landlord. Goetz also lost the 2009 [[Nobel Prize for Racism|Nobel Peace Prize]] to [[Barack Obama]] due to the Nobel committee's [[anti-semitism]]. | '''Bernhard Hugo Goetz'''{{Jew}} (a.k.a. '''The Death Wish Gunman''') is an [[American]] hero, [[Tree hugger|environmentalist]] and professional [[Jew]] who is most well known for his tireless efforts to clean up [[New York]]'s filthy, [[vermin]]-infested subway system in the mid-1980s. In the decades following his [[Mass shooting|humanitarian work]] and [[Second Amendment]] activism, Goetz has taken up numerous hobbies such as selling [[weed]] and harbouring [[Squirrelking|squirrels]] in his apartment, much to the chagrin of his landlord. Goetz also lost the 2009 [[Nobel Prize for Racism|Nobel Peace Prize]] to [[Barack Obama]] due to the Nobel committee's [[anti-semitism]]. | ||
Revision as of 20:58, 10 May 2018
Bernhard Hugo Goetz✡ (a.k.a. The Death Wish Gunman) is an American hero, environmentalist and professional Jew who is most well known for his tireless efforts to clean up New York's filthy, vermin-infested subway system in the mid-1980s. In the decades following his humanitarian work and Second Amendment activism, Goetz has taken up numerous hobbies such as selling weed and harbouring squirrels in his apartment, much to the chagrin of his landlord. Goetz also lost the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize to Barack Obama due to the Nobel committee's anti-semitism.
Bernie Goetz first rose to national fame on December 22, 1984, when four black youths decided to surround him and politely demanded that he give them $5 so they could afford to buy half of a Something Awful account from their local drug dealer. Not willing to be a victim like every other goddamn Jew on the planet, Badass Bernie decided to respond to the teenagers' demands by pulling out a .38-caliber revolver and shooting every single fucking one of them.
Following the failed mugging, the four entitled niglets decided to play the race card and Bernie Goetz was eventually put on trial for 4 counts of attempted murder – all of which he was acquitted of. Goetz was, however, convicted of unlawful possession of a weapon because the fucking government had previously denied his request for a concealed carry permit despite the fact that he was previously mugged and wanted to exercise his Second Amendment rights to defend himself.
—Bernie Goetz, Nigger Exterminator | ||
—Troy Canty, before being owned by a dorky Jew | ||
—Bernie notices bulge. OwO what's this? | ||
—Bernie Goetz | ||
—Bernie Goetz, on shooting niggers | ||
See Also
