High Functioning Autism

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High Functioning Autism is a condition that does not exist and has never been recognized by the American Psychiatric Association. Its most frequent sufferers are speshul snowflakes who believe their mental disorder grants them super powers greater than the much sought after Assburgers. HFA shares many similarities with 'tism except it requires a lengthy process of self-diagnosis and being so inept at life that the only explanation (aside from being a lazy fuckass) is it JUST couldn't be their fault. Luckily, HFA is immensely useful in explaining away all of your faults while still implying you are secretly the smartest person ever! Depending on the day of the week and who is laughing at them for being miserable failures the symptoms of HFA can drastically change. It simultaneously removes the subject's ability to utilize social skills while in no way impacting them in any measurable way the next, and how dare you try to deny their life of struggle. Other symptoms include "genius" level intellect in every topic not useful for getting a job or pursuing a career, staying up all night playing video games, and being as unproductive as possible. Basically it's Aspie except instead of having even a slightly negative impact on a person's life, it has none.
To Summarize: HFA is the final evolution of lego cluster personality disorder. A convenient excuse for the fat dumpster fire that is the life of a fucking dork by claiming their addiction to Wikipedia and avoiding hygiene makes them the smartest nerd in the room, despite their lack of success doing anything important.

Famous Individuals Afflicted with HFA:

• Randi Harper
• Laurelai
• Chris-Chan
• Every user on Reddit

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High Functioning Autism is part of a series on Psychology