David Cerny

The artist and his negroid daughters.

David Černý is a sculptor and an IRL troll from the Czech Republic. After years of having severely pwned his own country on too many occasions to count, Cerny grew bored of trolling the same place all the time and decided to troll all of Europe. He succeeded in January 2009 and received over 9,000 Canadian dollars euro for his hard work, proving the power of old memes - specifically, that successful troll can indeed be extremely successful.

Pwning Europe

Geographically correct view of Germany.

In 2008, Cerny made more money than you by getting 50 grand in grant from the European Council, in return for working with sculptors from the 27 European Union nations, in order to create and exhibit 27 sculptures codenamed "Entropa" to honor those nations. Cerny then tastefully trolled the whole continent by delivering on time, but explaining that he took the instructions to mean that rather than honor the countries, he was supposed to "honor" them.

And that he did. Although, regrettably, the exhibition lacks any trace of mudkips, the black person or 34, the sculptures make up for those shortcomings by depicting each country as follows:

• Germany is shown simply in its satellite view, with the country's highways forming the official symbol of Germany.
• Austria (Australia) is a fucking nuclear plant, with a barely visible symbolic cellar.
• Finland depicts its most famous citizen, having freshly ingested Finland's only edible product and looking for friends through his rifle scope.
• Spain covers its ugliness by flooding itself with concrete.
• Holland is also flooded with what may be water or urine; only the peaceful religion survives the flood.
• France is shown surrendering to striking workers.
• Poland raises a huge flag of gay pride, upheld by the hands of priests and nuns.
• Belgium is a box of chocolates, symbolizing that you never know what you'll find in the country: emptiness, rat droppings, stale food - the choice is vast.
• Luxembourg is all for sale.
• Italy is nothing but a soccer field, full of gay players.
• Bulgaria is a toilet urinated on by the mighty Turkey.
• Denmark is a bunch of Lego blocks forming the holy snout of Mohammad.
• Romania sucks, although this time it's through Dracula's teeth.
• Estonia is nothing but hammer and sickle.
• Lithuania invites death by disputin' the Putin through the power of piss.
• Malta is a big pocket elephant.
• Sweden is cheaply packaged into a crappy Ikea box, with several parts missing.
• Cerny's own Czech Republic is a flashing display of some of the most famous quotes from its controversial president, which is really a bit of a cowardly cop-out, as there is a considerably more famous internets Czech patriot out there.
• Slovakia is a sausage aimed at the hungry, hungry Hungarians, as true Hungarian men love to smoke the sausage.
• Hungary itself is, of course, a sausage, and an ecologically radioactive one, too.
• Slovenia is a rock honoring the first invaders tourists who visited the country in 1213.
• (f)Latvia is just a snowy mountain.
• Portugal has beef with everyone.
• Cyprus's two halves warmly embrace each other.
• Greece is killed with fire.
• Ireland is a furry bagpipe; potatoes are inside.
• Britain is kickbanned from the exhibition, as it does not belong anywhere near Europe.

Priests during an erection.

In sounds and images.

Aftermath

Turks pee in this?

While the European Council itself was enthusiastic and wanted to recommission Cerny, the exhibition resulted in massive outcry from several depicted countries (and applause or boredom from the others). All of the butthurt countries claimed to have nothing in common with their portrayals; aiming to prove it, Holland's Dutch Party promptly announced a jihad on Cerny, Germany called him a Jew and threatened to put him in the hot spot, Slovakia tried to bribe him, and Bulgaria was so pissed on off that its words of protest only came out as sounds of gargling. Groups of Irish patriots were also concerned with the fact that Cerny did not include the UK - "them fookin' English bastards got off easy like!".

Reacting to that, Cerny issued an apologetic response and a deeply moving explanation: "YHBT".

Trolling Redux

With the sounds of butthurt still loud, Cerny proved his trolling prowess further by rubbing salt in the wounds and admitting that none of the other 26 sculptors actually existed, their biographies and quotes were all made up by him, he was the designer of all the sculptures, and he pocketed all the millions of Czech dollars that the sculptors were supposed to share. This time, however, Cerny managed to suppress the flames and avoid causing further outcry by admitting: "I did it for the lulz".

Art Gallery

• 
  Cerny trolls and pisses off his homeland.
• 
  Cerny trolls and drowns Saddam.
• 
  Cerny trolls the U.S. and scares American drivers.

External Links

• Report from some news service of the only country kickbanned from the exhibition
• The Czech Republic plays France and surrenders, but to Bulgaria
• Cerny begins the noble task of trolling USA

David Cerny is part of a series on Trolls Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.