Hard Gay

Hard Gay (Moonspeak: ハードゲイ, pronounced Hâdo Gei, hoo~), real name Masaki Sumitani, is a Japanese IRL troll and person of public interest. He is shown getting himself into awkward situations with the Fapanese general public, then doing a "good deed" of sorts on a major variety TV show. In the past, he has been known to facehump elderly women, act as a crossing guard for a group of children, and pose for pictures with tourists. He is already married and not gay irl, however true fags know he plays for both teams.

Fooooooo!!!!

Razor Ramon, as he was known, donned some black PVC and was born as Hard Gay. Ecstatic, he runs out onto the streets and started emitting his gay mating call, Fooooo~!!, humping every man that responded. This culminated in a cocksucking rampage that encompassed all of Tokyo, as well as much of Englandistan. He has a verbal tick and IRL spams Hoooooooo since he says this after every sentence he finishes.

Hard Gay just wants to hailp!!!! make the world a better place!

He then traveled all over Japan by TV, turning every man on the entire island gay despite there being millions of stumpy-legged domineering azn chicks. In regards to this, he's often called "The Johnny Appleseed of Gayness".

The True Gay Mission He was Sent for

Apparently Hard Gayminator, also known by fapanese bishies as Hardo Gay, came undetected into this ugly yet beautiful world and he is popularly known by his sake mates as Masaki Sumitani, which proabably isn't his real name, God forbid. Arrived at Harima, Hyōgo Prefecture, Japan during December 18, 1975, like how Terminators teleport from the distant future, Gay was a super intelligent life form who was aware that Paris Hilton, Chris Crocker, and Britney Spears are his potential opponents. So to avoid being called a dipshit faggot by fapanese from his local village, he cheated in the final grand entrance exam at Hyogo Prefectural Kakogawa Higashi High School, which later got him fucking damm good grades to enter Doshisha University. Liek all Asians and Vinnies alike, Gay knew that he cannot outbeat the smartass geekos so he did Commerce to scare the living daylights of them. It is said that those who had witnessed Gay in their class is liek seeing God doing one maths quiz in a few miliseconds, and those who had actually tried to cheat from him had themselves turned into black person for life.

Gay's calling to be the gayest icon in Japan (another gay icon of Japan would be the "yaranaika" man featured a lot on stoopid and cheezy yaoi comics for 16-year old girls who are mostly azn with no life and wanted something to fap to.)began when he was in college and got interested in gayist-wrestling. This prompted him to create the 'professional name "Razor Ramone" for himself, but later in 2005 his name later evolved into Razor Ramon RG ("RG" meaning "Real Gay"), ironically stating his true motive to be on Planet Earth, to spread the gospel of Gay. He was brought in on the gimmick after the fail but win name gained immense popularity amongst fapping fappanese fatsochickos. It was through wrestling in his so called college years, that the Gayminator met Makoto Izubuchi a.k.a Hard Gay M.K.II, with whom he would later form the comedy duo Razor Ramon in 1997. During their pretentious college years which was basically a lie, the gay bastard won the Fukuwarai award in the Imamiya Kids’ Ebisu Manzai Contest and gained pedo experience worthy of a Pedobear Award Recognotion on the stage through the audition liverape performance SABUKI at 2chome-gekijo, an Osaka Gayist-Anonymous Pretending to be Stand-Up Comedians club opened by the Yoshimoto Kogyo gayish comedy troupe at which many amateur gay comedians from the Kansai area start their career.fail miserably during the course of time when the Two Gays dominated the turf and were forced on the streets to either act liek emo-like furries that would be burned on the stake or start a career pretending to be failed Soulja boy wannabes

After completing his degree at the prestigious Doshisha University using means of the Internet, HG got a job at CO-OP KOBE, as a grocery delivery man disguised as a PVC suit man to carry Osama Bin Laden's great deeds and collect information for his many rendezvous points. His desire to pursue a career as a professional gay comedian led him to quit his job after four months, when he joined Yoshimoto Kogyo with his partner ,Hard Gay M.K.II, often mistaken as Makoto the senile guy. The uncorrupted duo ,known throughout Fapan as "Razor Ramon", made their Gay TV (which is shown to kiddies alike) debut in 1999 and won the Judges 'Special' Award in the ABC Owarai (Comedy) Grand-Prix in 2000. Both Gayminators joined the Yoshimoto Kogyo-produced program Yoshimoto Shin-kigeki, one of the most popular gay comedy stage acts in Japan, in 2001, often playing gay yakuza, gay salarymen, gay udon restaurant owners, gay construction workers, and other gay characters.

Advent Hard Gay

Gayminator had successfully trolled the country he had lived in, under the alias of Haado Gay (ハードゲイ, Hādo Gei?), shortly after introducing himself as a new challenger to all stupid people alike in terms of global mindfuck (like Paris Hilton) in 2002, and by fanboy and girl votes from his possessed shrunken banana island of Fappan, he rose quickly in terms of national popularity prominence rank in 2005. The term "Hādo Gei" the Gayminator's new challenge theme stolen from his star and spangled gay rivals that glorify their gay subculture which made America look like a total faggot in similar fashion to, say, "punk". In Fapan, gender subculture with distinct dress style are in fact trans-gender or drag, which in Japan is referred to as "Gei ゲイ". In turn, the term "hard gay" became the reference to more threatening male dominator oriented "drag" seen to be feared upon in Le Americas. The comedy, which meant to be a threat to Westerners telling them that the Fapanese will win them in terms of gaycity, is derived from the fact that Hard Gay is 100% an agent alien superweapon and therefore, can get away with most outrageous behaviour or comment. The fact that Hard Gay does not portray any Japanese gay subculture also explains why the sketch hidden with hidden messages from the Gayminator to the Fapanese was allowed to be aired on Japanese national TV, which has its own code of political correctness masked by desu notes.

While the official name is "Razor Ramon HG," Gayminator is most frequently known as "Hard Gay," or simply "HG." Dressing in a tight black PVC gay fetish outfit, he goes around performing acts of charity (yonaoshi, “or so called social improvement meant to influence victims into accepting gay culture”) for unsuspecting bystanders while performing trademark pelvic thrusts and mating call vocalizations, often accompanied by the stolen song "Livin’ la Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin. The Gayminator once attacked a shota harem drama in Fapan called "Atarashi No Danshi", when he was looking for his seme partner Fuu. It turns out that Fuu is a hooker who had cheated on many unsuspecting wimmins and to love the main character (God why she must be a girl?!), the main charcter had to endure all teh beatups from all the wimmins alike. Hardo Gay was one of the few "wimmins" who kept going around the house saying "FOOOOOOOOOOO" at the top of his voice like he didn't care until Fuu told him the real truth that he isn't gay.To teh Gayminator's plan to invade Fuu's life, he failed hard and had to teleport before Fuu could cut off his wiener.

Gayminator I's "unsuspecting victims" are either shocked or scared when he suddenly appears by means of teleportation, terrorizing them with his gay antics, sex toys and pedophilia collection. But despite his harassing methods, the gay hard is well loved by all living in Japan, young and old, for he is gay and full of win in form of a PVC suit. However, his apprentice, Hard Gayminator M.K.II, wasn't really enthusiastic about the gay domination on the fapanese culture and frequently kills the main scheme of the Gayminators by speaking in a mild and ungay way, which much to the bishies ,AGK, and Angry Homo Kid (who obviously want to have it) bitter disappointment, killed their orgasms and consequently, a pile of shitstom hit the rebellious Gayminator.

Sad Truth

Hard Gay is so prolific in Japan, people make their dogs into miniature HG's kawaii!!!1!

Sadly, the gay domination of Gayminator Hard Gay was shortlived. Before he could fuck the mids of Fapan even further, he was cured of his faggotry by Jesus through SALVATION!, and he married a native Fapanese wimminswimsuit model who took control of him thanks to Limecat. Looking back, he claims he has no regrets, and is quoted as saying, "I'd still do it for the lulz." That hasn't stopped him from a slashin' and a burnin' everything associated with his fame, in an "IRL DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING" rampage of sorts. He is succeeded by the boring version of his incarnate, the Gayminator M.K.II who isn't as win as the original.

A couple of better photos are still on-line, but HG's management company is determined to facilitate his reinvention, by any means necessary, even if they had to hire more Gayminators from the West like Crockey Gay or some other neighbouring european pedoes like the Solid Frizzleweiner.

External Links

• Some photos, user-created content
• Flash Animation, created by a 13 year old boy
• Some fanboy merchandise

Hard Gay is related to a series on AZNS.

[Domo ArigatoHerrow]

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Featured article August 28 & 29, 2024
Preceded by Donny Long	Hard Gay	Succeeded by Fat Acceptance Movement