Conker's Bad Fur Day

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Perfect for young and impressionable children. What could go wrong?

Conker's Bad Fur Day is a "mature" Nintendo 64 game about an alcoholic ginger squirrel named Conker who gets really fucking drunk and ends up lost in a strange, dysfunctional land which he has to leave in order to return home to his slutbag girlfriend; Berri.

The game is notorious for the Concerned Mothers who were stupid enough to let their kids play the vulgar atrocity, like they're letting their 13 year old boys make ED accounts. Soccer Moms everywhere bitched and moaned about it until ultimately, nothing happened. lol.

Plot

It might as well be Banjo-Kazooie, but with naughty words and a shit-ton of drugs thrown into the mix.

Conker awakens to find himself lost after a night of binge drinking, and he must find his way home to his girlfriend. Meanwhile, the Panther King orders his servant to find a replacement for the missing leg in his milk table. The servant suggests using a squirrel, and then orders his minions to search the land for one.

Heaps of crazy shit happens, and Conker has to fight a multitude of monsters that look like they came from an average DeviantArt user's imagination, including fighting a giant heap of singing shit.

Near the end of the game, Berri dies, and the Panther King's servant is revealed to be the evil mastermind, because he kills his master in order to summon his cyberpet; "Heinrich" so that he can pwn Conker. Conker doesn't even give a fuck and opens an air lock, dragging everyone's corpse into space (except for Heinrich). As Heinrich is about to kill Conker, the game freezes and Conker breaks the fucking Fourth Wall by asking the software developers to use 1337 hax so that the game can end.

Conker becomes the king and gets drunk. The end.

Characters

• Conker: Titular character, a drunk squirrel who apparently would make a great substitute for a table leg.

• Berri: Conker's slutty prostitute girlfriend. She's useless, and dies near the end of the game.

• Panther King: The king of the land Conker wakes up in. He is into BDSM, as proven when he threatens to use duct tape on his whiteknights who disobey him.

• Professor Von Kriplespac: Panther King's whiteknight, portrayed as a paraplegic neo-nazi weasel fuckwit who knows the answer to everything and anything.

Quotes

	“	I'm the great mighty poo and I'm going to throw my shit at you. A huge supply of tish comes from my chocolate starfish. How about some scat you little twat?	„
	—The Great Mighty Poo, singing his shitty opera or whatever the fuck it's called shows what kind of game the player is truly playing. Also known as a shitty waste of time they assume is art.

Gallery

• 
  No pants!
• 
  You Fap, You Fail
• 
  <3
• 
  Ein Volk, ein Reich,
  ein Eichhörnchen
• 
  Rule 34 isn't difficult to find.

See also

• Banjo Kazooie
• Goldeneye 007
• Nintendo 64

Conker's Bad Fur Day is part of a series on [Or Get OutGet N]

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