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Favregeddon: Difference between revisions
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[[File:Jenn-sterger-pic_330x500.jpg|thumb|Jenn Sterger (who blocked Brett's pass)]] | [[File:Jenn-sterger-pic_330x500.jpg|thumb|Jenn Sterger (who blocked Brett's pass)]] | ||
[[File:500x_favreshirt.jpg|thumb|Brett Favre: [http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/gossip/2010/10/brett-favre-jenn-sterger-pictures.html serial sexter]]] | [[File:500x_favreshirt.jpg|thumb|Brett Favre: [http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/gossip/2010/10/brett-favre-jenn-sterger-pictures.html serial sexter]]] | ||
'''Brett " | '''Brett "{{Archive|EKGLK|Screaming Lord Byron}}" Favre''' is a true [[R. Lee Ermey|American hero]] from [[Red State|the heartland]]. This <s>40</s> 50-year-old [[Billy Mays|manly-man]] was also the starting quarterback of the [[NFL]]'s <s>Green Bay Packers</s> <s>New York Jets</s> [[Minnesota]] [[Vikings]] with numerous records and accomplishments on the gridiron over a long and storied career playing [[handegg]]. Having spent most of his stellar career as [[1337|the franchise player]] of [[white trash|Green Bay Fudge Packers]], this fan favourite was <s>unceremoniously dumped</s> retired in favor of a younger QB with fewer injuries and a nicer ass. He subsequently [[disregard|unretired]] and joined the New York Jets where he sucked a big one. After retiring again at the end of a disappointing season, he came out of retirement and joined the Packers' hated rivals, the Vikings. | ||
But all of this is [[shit nobody cares about]]. What [[you]] ''will'' care about is his career in [[sexting]]. No stranger to making bad passes, (having thrown the most [[fail|interceptions]] in NFL history -325- over a span of the most games in NFL history with interceptions thrown -189), in [[2008]] Mr. Favre threw up a wobbler of epic proportions. | But all of this is [[shit nobody cares about]]. What [[you]] ''will'' care about is his career in [[sexting]]. No stranger to making bad passes, (having thrown the most [[fail|interceptions]] in NFL history -325- over a span of the most games in NFL history with interceptions thrown -189), in [[2008]] Mr. Favre threw up a wobbler of epic proportions. | ||
Bat-shit insane former commentator John Madden made the world clear to the fact that his [[lemonparty|ancient, flabby ass is open]] for Favre 24/7. | |||
==The Scandal== | ==The Scandal== | ||
| Line 23: | Line 27: | ||
While sexting is primarily a fun activity for [[12-year-old boys]] and [[16-year-old girls]], it's even catching on with [[old people]]. Even your grandpa is doing it! Sometime in [[2009]], the sports site, Deadspin, broke {{Archive|iZhkO|a story}} about then [[handegg|New York Jets]] QB, 50-year-old '''Brett Favre''', having leched after the Jets' totally [[I'd hit it|bangably sexy]] in-house sideline reporter, former ''[[Playboy]]'' model [[Jenn Sterger]]. After unsuccessfully trying to hit on her young, pert arse via [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmErRP2GR4M plain old boring voicemail] and [[text message|text messages]] (he was, however, successful in [[DO NOT WANT|creeping her out]]) the 'happily' married grandfather turned to sexting, sending her numerous, miserably underwhelming cockpix and a picture of himself butt nekkid (save a pair of Crocs) [[fapping]]. | |||
<center><youtube>7_D7wughWN8</youtube></center> | <center><youtube>7_D7wughWN8</youtube></center> | ||
While hilarious, the story largely went unnoticed until the decrepit old man decided to unretire (again) and signed with Minnesota Vikings. While this -in and of itself- was no big deal (since [[nothing of value was lost|he totally sucked during his tenure with the Jets]]), the [[tabloids|New York Troll Department]] saw some major [[lulz]] potential when the Vikings headed East to play the Jets at home in October [[2010]]. Reviving the 'scandal' [[lulz|exactly one week before the game]] and tracking down Ms. Sterger for interviews, the NYTD sent the story fucking everywhere for Jets' fans to enjoy and use as ammo to taunt the old man who had ruined their [[fail|2008 season]]. Further [[DGT|drama-generating]] and lulz were had when Favre's pathetic unanswered voicemails and texts were made public to accompany the cockpix. After the whole shebangabang went viral, the [[NFL]] had no choice but to open an investigation into grandpa Favre's unwanted [[rape|sexual harassment]] which unearthed further allegations of Favre being naughty with the Jets' in-house female masseuses. As of writing, the investigation is still ongoing -as is Mrs. Favre's [[RAGE]] about the whole (non) affair. | |||
===Reaction=== | ===Reaction=== | ||
Favre has been largely (unlike his cawk) silent about the ongoing brouhaha but released the following statement: | Favre has been largely ([[truth|unlike his cawk]]) silent about the ongoing brouhaha but released the following statement: | ||
{{quote|I'm not getting into that. I've got my [[fapping|hands full]] with the Jets.|Favre}} | {{quote|I'm not getting into that. I've got my [[fapping|hands full]] with the Jets.|Favre}} | ||
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<video type="vimeo" id="16227419" width="540" height="406" desc="Colbert Weighs In " frame="true" position="center"/> | <video type="vimeo" id="16227419" width="540" height="406" desc="Colbert Weighs In " frame="true" position="center"/> | ||
==TL;DR?== | ==TL;DR?== | ||
| Line 80: | Line 83: | ||
==External Links== | ==External Links== | ||
* | *{{Archive|iZhkO|Jenn Sterger: Brett Favre Once Sent Me Cock Shots}} | ||
{{tinyquote|In fact, Sterger claims that, in one of the photos Favre allegedly sent her, he's masturbating — while wearing a pair of Crocs.|Deadspin}} | {{tinyquote|In fact, Sterger claims that, in one of the photos Favre allegedly sent her, he's masturbating — while wearing a pair of Crocs.|Deadspin}} | ||
* | *{{Archive|NoHVE|Two More Women Who Worked With Jets Received Lewd Texts From Favre}} | ||
* | *{{Archive|EKGLK|Did A Jets PR Person Act As Liaison Between Brett Favre And Jenn Sterger}} | ||
*[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/362046/october-13-2010/sport-report---steroids--commonwealth-games---brett-favre-s-sexting Colbert chimes in] | *[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/362046/october-13-2010/sport-report---steroids--commonwealth-games---brett-favre-s-sexting Colbert chimes in] | ||
*[http://www.officialbrettfavre.com/home/ His official site] | *[http://www.officialbrettfavre.com/home/ His official site] | ||
Latest revision as of 20:26, 22 September 2018
|
This article needs moar pix and shoops. You can help by adding moar pix and shoops. |
Brett "
Screaming Lord Byron" Favre is a true American hero from the heartland. This 40 50-year-old manly-man was also the starting quarterback of the NFL's Green Bay Packers New York Jets Minnesota Vikings with numerous records and accomplishments on the gridiron over a long and storied career playing handegg. Having spent most of his stellar career as the franchise player of Green Bay Fudge Packers, this fan favourite was unceremoniously dumped retired in favor of a younger QB with fewer injuries and a nicer ass. He subsequently unretired and joined the New York Jets where he sucked a big one. After retiring again at the end of a disappointing season, he came out of retirement and joined the Packers' hated rivals, the Vikings.
But all of this is shit nobody cares about. What you will care about is his career in sexting. No stranger to making bad passes, (having thrown the most interceptions in NFL history -325- over a span of the most games in NFL history with interceptions thrown -189), in 2008 Mr. Favre threw up a wobbler of epic proportions.
Bat-shit insane former commentator John Madden made the world clear to the fact that his ancient, flabby ass is open for Favre 24/7.
The Scandal
<video type="vimeo" id="16227169" width="540" height="406" desc="Cockpix @02.08 " frame="true" position="center"/>
While sexting is primarily a fun activity for 12-year-old boys and 16-year-old girls, it's even catching on with old people. Even your grandpa is doing it! Sometime in 2009, the sports site, Deadspin, broke a story about then New York Jets QB, 50-year-old Brett Favre, having leched after the Jets' totally bangably sexy in-house sideline reporter, former Playboy model Jenn Sterger. After unsuccessfully trying to hit on her young, pert arse via plain old boring voicemail and text messages (he was, however, successful in creeping her out) the 'happily' married grandfather turned to sexting, sending her numerous, miserably underwhelming cockpix and a picture of himself butt nekkid (save a pair of Crocs) fapping.
While hilarious, the story largely went unnoticed until the decrepit old man decided to unretire (again) and signed with Minnesota Vikings. While this -in and of itself- was no big deal (since he totally sucked during his tenure with the Jets), the New York Troll Department saw some major lulz potential when the Vikings headed East to play the Jets at home in October 2010. Reviving the 'scandal' exactly one week before the game and tracking down Ms. Sterger for interviews, the NYTD sent the story fucking everywhere for Jets' fans to enjoy and use as ammo to taunt the old man who had ruined their 2008 season. Further drama-generating and lulz were had when Favre's pathetic unanswered voicemails and texts were made public to accompany the cockpix. After the whole shebangabang went viral, the NFL had no choice but to open an investigation into grandpa Favre's unwanted sexual harassment which unearthed further allegations of Favre being naughty with the Jets' in-house female masseuses. As of writing, the investigation is still ongoing -as is Mrs. Favre's RAGE about the whole (non) affair.
Reaction
Favre has been largely (unlike his cawk) silent about the ongoing brouhaha but released the following statement:
—Favre | ||
However, Stephen Colbert had plenty to say.
<video type="vimeo" id="16227419" width="540" height="406" desc="Colbert Weighs In " frame="true" position="center"/>
TL;DR?
TL;DR? See the vidya below.
Additional lulz were had by the usually unfunny folks at SNL who spoofed Favre's endorsement deal with Wrangler Jeans. Wrangler has responded by pulling their Favre ads from all NFL games for the foreseeable future.
<video type="vimeo" id="16285619" width="540" height="406" desc="SNL's Spoof Favre Wrangler Commercial " frame="true" position="center"/>
Irony
See: Pants on the ground
—Favre | ||
Prelude to Favregeddon
It appears that this whole episode did not come out of the blue. Apparently, upon joining the Jets, Favre began to stalk Ms. Sterger on her MySpace, setting up an account with the ludicrous handle of Screaming Lord Byron to hit on her assisted by a Jets' PR dude. Behold and take a seat.
See Also
External Links
—Deadspin |
- Two More Women Who Worked With Jets Received Lewd Texts From Favre
- Did A Jets PR Person Act As Liaison Between Brett Favre And Jenn Sterger
- Colbert chimes in
- His official site
- Jenn Sterger's site
- Jenn's twatter
- Jenn's Failbook page
- A page full of twitter Brett Favre penis jokes
- Failbook: Fandom page
- Failbook: I hate Brett Favre
- Failbook: Brett Favre - Please Just Retire
- Failbook: When Brett Favre cries, Chuck Norris cries too.
- John madden responds
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| Featured article November 4, 2010 | ||
| Preceded by OldDirtyBtard |
Favregeddon | Succeeded by ChadSyphrett |