LUE

The sheer insightfulness of LUE in its archived glory.

LUE, an acronym for Life, Universe and Everything is the most infamous GameFAQs forum board. If you dislike TL;DR articles, click here for a brief, yet complete, summary. If 4chan is the asshole of the internet, LUE is the colon.

In 2004 LUEsers have migrated to LUElinks, which is now an enormous a failed invite-only file sharing site linkfarm known as The End of the Internet that wound up in this stale form of fail because it was originally intended as a site so Luesers could trade porn pics without getting banned on Game Faqs. Unfortunately, being run by 13 year old boys with no real world experience or concept of the law they thought private site meant that you didn't need to obey the law and one after the other people would give up ownership to someone else because they were party vanned for hosting that right amount of CP that the feds could claim wasn't coincidental but rather intentional. In other words, they were running a Child Porn site. The most recent luser,not lueser, to gain control of the site was deathly afraid of getting fucked in the ass by a black prisoner and took their mother's advice and made the site so boring that no one would want to go there ever again.

Though aside from the links section, ETI's GameFAQs-themed boards are still active with thousands of people online at any given time.

The Origins

In the beginning, there was GameFAQs.

GameFAQs was started by CJayC as a repository of fake Pokémon codes. There was a small message board, but membership was restricted to only those who had obtained Mew by moving the truck. GameFAQs was eventually successful enough to add a second board, this one devoted to those who had unlocked Luigi in Super Mario 64 and those who resurected Aerith at the church. The population of both boards grew over time, and more and more boards were added, until one day CJayC, at the peak of his creativity, formed Life, the Universe, and Everything, a board named after a line in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Originally founded by CJayC to host mind-challenging threads and extremely intellectual debates about life in general, it soon gathered a group of insightful individuals whose common intellect soon grew too powerful for CJayC (or anyone else on the internets, for that matter) to handle. LUEsers, as they started calling themselves, slowly mutated into a species of overpowered individuals. Linked together by mystical powers that cannot be comprehended by mundanes, they built a religion around their new holy God that they worship daily: LUEshi. Outside experts conjecture that the LUEsers must have found nothing less than the meaning of life, and that it must be somewhat connected to LUEshi.

Raiding exploits

LUE made many a raid in it's time. While most were pretty fail, some were noteworthy. Perhaps the most infamous was the invasion of a Livejournal belonging to a girl named "JustShana"... Or, rather, was named "JustShana", seeing as how she had become An Hero before LUE found it. Her parents kept the journal open after she died to allow her friends to post sappy comments and poetry. Unfortunately for them, they left the door wide open for the entrance of an INTERNET HATE MACHINE. Much like 4chan's raid of Mitchell Henderson's myspace, LUE came, saw, and had sex with Shana's corpse. Gamefaqs, being full of pussies, screamed to CjayC for e-justice. He responded by committing the great SteriLUEzation, which will be detailed later in the article.

Another of the more interesting raids was the assault upon Gamefaq's own Zelda Social Board, which was notorious for being more elitist than LUE. A popular user, Umaro, stopped by to talk about the triforce tattoo he had gotten done to himself. The Zelda Social board instantly went batshit insane, pissing themselves because someone posted a topic related to the Legend of Zelda series on their board. Yes.. On the Zelda.Social.Board.

Umaro ran to LUE to cry about how the mean people yelled at him over the internets, and LUE promptly responded by totally overrunning the board with goatse, trolling, posting various topics related to Zelda, and basically fucking up the social board's shit. The destruction was so great that the Zelda Social board became hidden to those that did not know it's URL, and for several years afterwords if one stumbled upon it and posted anything vaguely resembling an LUE meme, the entire board would proceed to go into one huge, conglomerate fetal position and cry like frightened children. CjayC, being the lulz-killer that he is, promptly LUE and instituted a karma(Like a point system on gamefaqs) amount that had to be reached before one could access it. This event went down in history as "RevoLUEtion".

The cult of LUEshi

Like Pat Robertson trying to make a buck, the LUEsers began to evangelize. They began posting LUEshi, their trademark ASCII representation of Mario Riding Yoshi as seen on the cover of Super Mario World, to every message board, chatroom, IRC channel, Wiki, and mailing list they could find. Surely this simple message contained immeasurable wisdom; alas, even the most talented scientists could not decipher LUEshi's message of hope as their research was cut short by CjayC. He made posting the LUEshi ASCII grounds for a permaban

The LUElita wars

One of the more memorable events on LUE. One of its user QuistisLionheart, an attention whore of grandiose personage started dividing LUE by selecting people at random, with topics titled, "Post your email here and I will send you a pic of me." As it started to get out that she was actually sending these randomly chosen people pornographic images of herself, angry, self abusing, one eyed monkey beaters looking for free pron began to get angry that she wasn't including them in her mailing list started verbally attacking her, thinking that they could bully her into adding them. Wanting to stay on her good side, those that were being favored by QuistisLionheart's "generosity" for handing out pictures of herself would always rise to her defense and many fights broke out. She would also start topics that were risque in nature and almost always sexually driven. Half of the board led by JarJarBinks felt that she was a whore and wanted to run her off. As stated earlier, any replies in this nature towards her would quickly start a war. At the same time there was a lot of debate about her real age. QuistisLionheart claimed to be 16 but there were skeptics who had acquired her pictures, that put her age at 11 or 12 hypothesizing that she was rather undeveloped for a girl that was supposed to be 16. After an accidental admission on her part, this theory turned out to be true. Because of her admission to being underage and her ability to start fantastic flame wars on the board, QuistisLionheart received an IP ban and never returned.

Following this event and the drama that it caused, there were many attempts to copy this event but the most notable one that occurred and ended the LUElita wars was done by ExcelMinmei. Copying and revising QuistisLionheart's original tactic of sending pictures to random people, ExcelMinmei used more of a teaser style pictures. Instead of sending pictures showing nudity, ExcelMinmei sent pictures taken from the back showing bra straps, in bathing suits or what could be described as a near panty shot. More importantly, ExcelMinmei also posted "Sexy" pictures on the board itself for everyone to see. After the board started to divide like it did with QuestisLionheart, ExcelMinmei started a topic that promised if it were to get 500 posts in under an hour and close, she would do a strip show for everyone to see. The topic closed in 15 minutes. Fulfilling the promise a link was posted for the strip show. Much to everyone's surprise and horror it was discovered that ExcelMinmei was actually a boy. More so, a rather well equipped boy because when he stripped down from a skirt, blouse and jacket to his tighty whities, he made sure to let everyone see what he was packing when he turned around for a frontal shot from the camera. Much like how the QuistisLionheart event ended, where those that didn't fall under her spell taking the higher ground and accusing users that did as being pedophiles, ExcelMinmei's fans were accused as being homosexuals.

It should also be noted that LUE user EroticJoe became one of the most hated users on LUE when he met up with QuistisLionheart for what he referred to as a "Meet and Screw", when they both discovered that they were from the same region of Canada. The pictures were tame but like all virgins in front of a computer screen, LUE became disgusted and angry when they found out another user from their board got laid.

The SteriLUEzation and fall of LUE

When LUE and the Cult of LUEshi started to expand beyond control, CJayC was contacted by the FBI; he was given a direct order to close LUE to new members. CJayC complied and made it so only accounts created before November 15, 2003, 21:31 could join LUE. LUEsers were shattered, as this meant that the cult of LUE could no longer expand, but was doomed to wither. The group, sensing that its message would never be understood by the mere mortals of teh internets, started to become more and more closed and self-centered, quickly growing a sense of elitism. But hope springs eternal in the hearts of men, and the evangelization of LUEshi never truly stopped; their deity can still be occasionally sighted in several places like YTMND, 4chan and even in Miyamoto's hands.

LUELinks: A new hope

Tired of being ostracized, discriminated and oppressed by GameFAQs moderators that never converted to LUEshim and didn't allow relevant an on-topic links like the Unholy Trinity to be posted, a group of LUEsers founded LUELinks, a place where LUEsers could post their links without being persecuted by moderators that lacked the mental capabilities to understand the sheer awesomeness of their posts. Thus, LUELinks was born. At one point, CjayC tried to make posting, or even speaking of LUELinks a bannable offense, at which point LUEsers started to deny it's existence. Much care was taken in order to assure infidels never gained access to LUELinks; they hung a sign outside saying "NO GIRLS ALLOWED", for example. LUELinks grew to become more than just a place to gather links, but to this day its depths remain unplumbed.

LUEshi and other deities

A rare LUEshi fridge magnet. (I didn't have any L or H magnets, k?)

LUEshi

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LUEshi is the official mascot of LUE and LUELinks.

DEAR GOD, IT'S NOT JUST LOOKING AT ME!

Wait, what's that? Wait, something clicked.

OH GOD I CAN UNDERSTAND FOREVER! I'M ASCENDING TO THE HIGHER PLANES AS I TYPE WHILE I REMAIN BOUND BY MATTER!

Featured article November 30, 2007
Preceded by Didaskalos	LUE	Succeeded by Cryptokids

Captain Planet

Captain Planet is guaranteed to bestow immortality upon any group of LUEsers that succeeds in summoning him.

As part of their quest for enlightenment, the LUEsers have run across many of the secrets of the universe, not the least of which is Captain Planet. It is said that whenever five conveniently-gathered LUEsers are in trouble, they have but to recite the incantation below to summon their salvation:

Earth!

Fire!

Wind!

Water!

Heart!

GO PLANET!

By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!

The Unholy Trinity

Goatse, Tubgirl and Harlequin Fetus are the LUE Unholy Trinity. Posting a link to any of these links is like committing LUE Sepukku (LUEicide), since there's a 100% chance of being banned, but at least you'll be banned with honor.

Notable LUEsers

• LlamaGuy - Founder (and Deserter) of LUELinks.
• BlackViper, a formerly lulzy guy who left LUE to join the military. When he returned, he had become a maniac evangelist that was generally hated by everyone.
• Lunarhawk99 - The chosen one, seen as a messiah among LUEsers --DISREGARD THAT HE SUCKS COCKS. Srsly, nobody likes lunarhawk.
• Movolo - Troll that became the only user to be b& from LUE, fails at life
• Umaro - Posted a pic of his cockinside of a gym sock on YTMND
• Kuro Ky - Completely non-notable, but happens to be friends with a certain ED SysOp
• Nick710 - Please respond.
• AfroChicken - The top LUElinks user, having over 9000 (15000) hours spent on it. Is well-known for rape
• chuckyhacks - A god among men. His witty, insightful takes on life have caused many a LUEser to reassess their own lives.

See Also

• 13 year old boys
• Gamefaqs
• Shit nobody cares about
• unfunny

External Links

• The mysterious LUE
• The even more mysterious LUElinks, now under a new domain
• The old LUElinks domain (no longer registered)

LUE is part of a series on acronyms

[BRB LOLWTFBBQ]

LUE is part of a series on Sites Visit the Sites Portal for complete coverage.